I wish I knew how to deal with this..

I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

I'm very sorry. I think I would choose to believe it was unintentional if no note was left.

So sorry of your loss...hugs

There are only so many reasons that can actually be written on a death certificate; so I wouldn't take the written/literal as harsh as it may be.

If she had sleep apnea, and took meds to remedy it, and died as a result, the death certificate would read overdose. Sleep apnea would not be listed as the reason.

It goes something like this:

1. Immediate Cause: (Mode of dying)
1a. Overdose

2. Underlying Cause: (Where the ME asks themselves "what was the immediate cause due to")

AND/OR

2a. Underlying Conditions:
2a1. Sleep Apnea

Warm hugs to you, dear. I am so sorry for your pain.

I'm so sorry. Hugs.

I'm sorry.

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

I'm sorry for your loss. I think you know your friend better than what is listed on a piece of paper. Grief has so many phases and I believe you will experience them all as you work through your pain. I hope that you are able to soon replace your grief with only beautiful memories of your friendship.

It's also possible that she had some pain and took one of her pain pills. Then there was a reaction with another med she was taking or her liver decided that was the day to metabolize it differently, and/or she didn't realize how compromised her breathing was because of her sleep apnea and the pain pill was enough to compromise it too much. 

I've been suicidal. I would leave a note asking forgiveness and letting my loved ones know that it wasn't their fault at all but I just couldn't deal with being sick any longer. 

The toxicology is done on blood. The coroner might had just decided to draw blood because there was already enough of a medical reason to explain her death. The blood test would have shown the opiate in her blood. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. A good friend of mine lost her husband unexpectedly a few years ago. He was 42 and just had a cold so he stayed home while his wife and young kids went to a Halloween event at a pumpkin patch and then out for a dinner and a movie. The wife texted him, and he was ok, and then they got home and he was unconscious. The cold went to his heart. He had Ulcerative Colitis, but there was no reason to think he had the flu or anything. It was just a freak thing. It was so difficult for everyone. The wife found a widower with three kids a couple years later, and they got married. The family is amazing. God works in mysterious ways. 

I understand how this situation is really throwing you. I would want people to remember the good things about me, and forgive me if I did have a moment of weakness. It is completely possible that she didn't mean to overdose. It doesn't take a lot. I once overdosed by accident when my doctor told me to take another pain pill to keep from having to go to the ER. He forgot to tell me not to take my sleeping pill that night--he was at home and didn't have my chart in front of him. In my stupor, I got up and was baking a cake in the middle of the night. My dh found me and took me to the ER, where they put me on oxygen because my breathing was labored. The amount of pain medicine I took was nowhere near enough to purposefully overdose on and was still a therapeudic dose. 

So sorry for your loss. That's a really hard thing to deal with.

((hugs))

I'm so sorry.

It's all so devastating and emotional. You'll get through this and life will return to a calmer pattern. You will figure out a way to honor your dear friend and hold her close to your heart. Grieving is tough, it's supposed to be. Some people lead such tortured lives, and it's all just very hard. It sounds like your friend was struggling and no matter what the ultimate cause of her death was, she is gone and you are missing her. Tend to that. Be gentle with yourself. It's going to take a bit, but you will smile again.