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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 20, 2016 4:52:28 GMT
No my youngest (12) does not have Facebook, Instagram, snapcat, Tumblr or is allowed to download any apps before we talk about it. She went to a LEO camp last summer and she was the only one who didn't raise their hand to say they had the abive. When the deputy asked...gotta love her...because we as a family felt that they were not appropriate yet. Mom love....I don't think she will untill high school. She has asked about pinintrest, she uses my account and tags to her board. There is no reason for it, so much goes on its astonishing. Yes, I'm mean, yes she will be socially awkward... but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave. Being on social media does not automatically mean that someone is not going to be all of the things you described above.
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Post by kristi on May 20, 2016 5:18:00 GMT
My daughter didn't get a phone until she was a freshman.
I thought she didn't have social media access but her friend set it up under her email.
Some teachers post homework assignments on Instagram.
It is becoming more & more necessary for kids to have access.
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daisydonna
Full Member
Posts: 265
Sept 5, 2015 11:45:16 GMT
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Post by daisydonna on May 20, 2016 5:25:09 GMT
Throwing this out there....which was told to me by another mom. Yes 12 is too young I think. BUT...it is important that kids learn to handle social media while at home. While you can check it and help them navigate it.
I hear lots of parents say "nope my kids aren't doing it while home." We are here to train them and protect them. Help them figure out what's appropriate and what's not.
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Post by holly on May 20, 2016 5:48:19 GMT
My kids have been on social media awhile. DS (18) hasn't ever been super into it, he games a lot so he watches youtube a lot. DD (15)on the other hand is very into it. She is very selective about who she allows in. I Don't have to monitor her too much, she shows me a lot and we talk a lot about what's going on. Snapchat is used 90% of the time between her friends. That's how they communicate, they don't text , they Snapchat. They hardly use FB, that's for old people. Even Instagram is getting a little passé to some degree. She has a couple friends not on snapchat and they are out of the loop of what's going on, socially. They have group chats and that's how the communicate.
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Post by gar on May 20, 2016 6:36:54 GMT
but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on May 20, 2016 6:46:11 GMT
Just throwing this out there because I'm a middle school teacher and listen to my kids when they think I'm not tuned in.... Email accounts are free, can be created by anyone, age can be lied about. An email is all that is required for any social media account. For those who say their kids don't have social media, I wouldn't be so sure. Kids are tech savvy. They know how to hide stuff from parents. Yup. At 12, dd got an iPod and knew how to create an iCloud for texting and email. We told her she was not allowed to create any social media accounts. She seemed fine with that because she didn't care about them anyway. It was just when this school year was beginning that she expressed how silly it is with everyone her age having a Facebook. Well, we found out recently that she created an Instagram account. She claimed that she thought we would be ok with that even though. Even though she didn't let us know and according to her, Instagram is an exception to the rule. Uh huh, more like: that's the story she's sticking to because all her friends have Instagram and that's how they communicate. We also found out it's very easy to create an account but quite an obstacle to deactivate it.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on May 20, 2016 7:13:45 GMT
They hardly use FB, that's for old people. Yes, dd said the same thing just a couple of weeks ago. It made me laugh I should find out more about snapchat. I don't do it. P.S: The channel that's on tv right now ( throwback Thursday with Nickelodeon shows ) is showing a bit about social media accounts: "There is an epidemic that is sweeping our nation. A disorder affecting the population. If you have been scrolling through your social media accounts and felt: 'super jelly' ( showing a photo on Instagram ) ,'mad envious' (showing a post on Twitter ), or a general sense your missing all of the things ( Tumbler, Facebook and a logo in a green box I don't recognize ) then you may have Fomo. Aka fear of missing out. But fear not, because there is a cure. A hefty dose of The Splat. Anywhere, anytime." ( showing all the social media icons ( or at least 8 of them ) Good grief, social media is everywhere, even on kid shows.
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Post by monklady123 on May 20, 2016 9:04:10 GMT
From a perfectly imperfect parent I would say you might just be the only one. At least around here every kid I know both in the 13-14 and 16 -17 yr old age group has some sort of social media footprint. My ds just turned 13 and he has had facebook, snapchat, and instagram since the middle of grade 6 and I am good with that. He is a good kid and yes that is how 100% of his friends and the teams and groups he is in communicate. Social media is not going away so I figure my kid may as well learn to use it appropriately under my supervision I agree with seaexplore (the middle school teacher) who said how kids can get these accounts without parents knowing, simply by signing up for a free email account. Around here texting and Twitter are how everyone communicates. I can't imagine how my dd would arrange her social life without group texting. lol. But joking aside, I'm serious about that. I think the kid who doesn't have texting is left out of a lot. (I know that's not "social media" but it always comes up in these conversations.) Instagram is fun, and Facebook is fun. Even Snapchat is fun. Yes, kids can do stupid things with these things. We just have to be aware of what's going on around our kids. We have to know our kids well enough to know when something is wrong. Easier said than done sometimes, but that's part of parenting. Another thing about kids and the internet these days -- even back in the "old days" when my kids were younger (they're 20 and 24 now) -- is that the schools give a lot of safety information. Kids are smarter than we old folks are. I remember trying to give my kids the chat about "dangers of the internet" and ds said "Mom, we learn all this in school you know." (that was in late elementary school I think). Do kids still do stupid things on the internet? Of course. Do kids still do stupid things with cars? with alcohol? with riding bikes? skate boarding? a bunch of other things? yes of course. Hopefully we can get them all to adulthood in one piece. Anyway, add me to the list of parents who were pretty hands off all the technology stuff. I never had passwords for anything either. My dd's best friend was banned by her parents from using Tumblr, so she just opened another account with a different name and her parents never knew. (dd told me that years later.) I think that the important lesson to try to pass on to our kids is to do your best to ignore the internet negativity. If someone is bullying you on Twitter tell your parents, and don't read it. It's the same message that we try to give ourselves about "do not read the comments" on any internet story. Of course that's harder for kids, and that's why we just have to do our best to have good communication with the kids and be aware if their behavior changes, or they start making "questionable" friends, etc. Parenting sure isn't easy. lol. I remember how wonderful I felt when ds's last friend turned 21. Ds was older for his grade and two other close friends were also. Then another friend was practically the very youngest in the grade. We older-kid parents were always worried that they'd be held responsible for the younger one drinking if they were ever busted by the police. WHich they would have been, as the adults on the scene. (Ironically it was the youngest one who supplied the beer when they were all still underage because he had a college friend who was 21. Ds told me that one years later also.) Anyway.... just my stream of thought, without coffee yet this morning! off to get that now.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on May 20, 2016 10:29:08 GMT
Just throwing this out there because I'm a middle school teacher and listen to my kids when they think I'm not tuned in.... Email accounts are free, can be created by anyone, age can be lied about. An email is all that is required for any social media account. For those who say their kids don't have social media, I wouldn't be so sure. Kids are tech savvy. They know how to hide stuff from parents. This is exactly what I was thinking as I read all the "not my child" posts. Let me tell you, from what my dd reports, your child has one, you just don't know about it. Now, there's always the outlier, but it's just that...an outlier, not the norm. I was the horrible parent that let my dd have all of it. She is currently serving our country, so I'd say she turned out fine. I disagree with this assumption . Yes, there are kids that sneak, but I overhear more whining about not having (or being late arrivals) than I do about hidden accounts.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on May 20, 2016 10:39:50 GMT
No my youngest (12) does not have Facebook, Instagram, snapcat, Tumblr or is allowed to download any apps before we talk about it. She went to a LEO camp last summer and she was the only one who didn't raise their hand to say they had the abive. When the deputy asked...gotta love her...because we as a family felt that they were not appropriate yet. Mom love....I don't think she will untill high school. She has asked about pinintrest, she uses my account and tags to her board. There is no reason for it, so much goes on its astonishing. Yes, I'm mean, yes she will be socially awkward... but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave. My daughter fits your description, but she uses social media and isn't socially awkward...
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 20, 2016 11:11:22 GMT
You're not alone.
I don't let my younger kids (one of which is a preteen) on social media.
Kids that age just don't get the consequences of typing and posting offensive or dumb things, or posting photos that will haunt them. They don't have the foresight to think, "Wow this is here forever, and in five years will still be found when my potential employer is Googling me."
And honestly, why do kids need to have a presence on social media?
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Post by melanell on May 20, 2016 11:31:39 GMT
My son is recently 13 and as of yet he is not on social media at all. We don't have any fast rules or thoughts about when he will be allowed, but we did know that we would wait at least until he was old enough in regards to the age limitations set by the sites themselves.
At this point he's not even asking, though. He's always been the type who only seems to want limited contact with his friends during non-school hours. He'll go out with them once in awhile or take a call from them, but he rarely does the calling. When he comes home, at this point, he just wants some time to himself, alone.
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Post by melanell on May 20, 2016 11:34:44 GMT
Won't let their middle schooler be on social media? My 12 year old got an iPhone for his bday last year. He wanted an Instagram account but I said no. It seems like everyone his age has Instagram and snapchat. You have to be 13 to sign up for either account or lie about your birthday. He is a really good kid and will be 13 in a few months. I planned to let him get an Instagram account then as long as I have the password. Am I being too strict? I realize it's how kids communicate these days but I just see so many dangers with social media. Why are people letting their kids on snapchat?? From my understanding you can send messages and pictures that disappear after you see them? Am I missing something here? I made my kids wait till they were 13 for an account. I let them use snap chat because I'm a bad mother and I have no control over my children and a too stupid to know bad things can happen. Because, not my kid! Sorry. I must respond with snark when those types of questions are put out there like an innocent question when we all know it just smacks of judgement and superiority because you do it differently. Hmm. I seriously did not pick up anything like that in this OP. And trust me, I totally know what you're talking about. I've seen it so many times. But in this particular case it really sounded more to me like a mom who is wondering if she's making a mountain out of a molehill or choosing the wrong hill to die on, etc., etc.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 20, 2016 11:37:31 GMT
I just sent off my youngest off this morning to his very last day of high school. (I am a bit out of sorts about that, I'll admit.)
The kid is one of those who has grown up in that sweet spot of app development that allowed his age cohort to be on the leading edge of using the new technology. One thing I learned early on was that there was no way that I could keep up-these kids almost intuitively knew how to 'work the system.' I decided that an outright ban wasn't the way to go for my family. Frankly, I have a kid that to tell him no was more of an invitation to figure out a way to do it anyway, so for me it was more about working with him keep tabs on what is going on. I learned early on that being a fly on the wall and passively monitoring worked best.
One thing I also figured out pretty quickly was to choose my battles. I had to let go of some of what I read (like the testing of naughty words) in order to have more weight when I did step in. I had to do that exactly once and the response was very quick.
Another thing I learned very quickly is that with these kids is if there is a will there is a way. If they want to hide their social media presence from their parents, they did. They can create an account faster than we can blink that we don't know about and they know how to lock it down so that we never even see it. Even if they don't have access to the technology on their own, at least one of their friends does and they know how to exploit that loop hole. Beyond all that, they switch to new apps faster than we can keep track of. If we parents are using it, then we can be almost assured 100% that they have moved on to something new.
For my family, I felt it was best to allow it rather than try to stop it. Of course that may not be right for all families, but I also think that we can't bury our heads in the sand and assume that just because we have said no that the kids follow that no.
The kid that I just sent off for his last day of school has a twitter account, a snapchat account, reddit account, and a handful of other apps that I didn't even know existed until he told me about them. He is also a thoughtful kid, who will be graduating with a 4.5 GPA, has been accepted into his first choice college, works every day after school, has an active social life, volunteers...I think we need to scrap the idea that social media=socially retarded and self-centered.
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Post by melanell on May 20, 2016 11:47:55 GMT
Just throwing this out there because I'm a middle school teacher and listen to my kids when they think I'm not tuned in.... Email accounts are free, can be created by anyone, age can be lied about. An email is all that is required for any social media account. For those who say their kids don't have social media, I wouldn't be so sure. Kids are tech savvy. They know how to hide stuff from parents. This is exactly what I was thinking as I read all the "not my child" posts. Let me tell you, from what my dd reports, your child has one, you just don't know about it. Now, there's always the outlier, but it's just that...an outlier, not the norm. I was the horrible parent that let my dd have all of it. She is currently serving our country, so I'd say she turned out fine. The only way mine might have an account is if he used a friend's phone to create both the email and the social media accounts and then also uses the friends' phones to access those forms of social media. (Which is certainly possible, but somewhat silly knowing the small amount of time each say that he and his friends are together and able to use their phones.) Because he just has no way of doing it on anything he owns personally or that we own at home without us knowing. Given his tendency to come home dying to show me whatever cool thing they found on YouTube while they were together, I do think that is primarily what they are doing on the bus ride, though. Of course, contrary to what people seem to think, I truly don't think letting him use it or not letting him use it makes on iota of difference in the parent wars. I personally think the parent wars suck. And I am not interested in engaging in them. We can discuss differences in parenting without anyone saying their way is the best way if we really try. And I'm all for that. When he's interested in social media, we'll discuss it and try to give him guidelines to keep him safe. And he'll listen to some of them and ignore some of them, I am sure, like many kids do with any advice from their parents.
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Post by Merge on May 20, 2016 12:02:35 GMT
Bad parent here. My kids have all the social media.
As a middle school teacher, I'll agree with the others that your kid probably has a social media account you don't know about, or else they're looking over friends' shoulders and being exposed to all the stuff on social media.
As a mom, this is the choice that works for our family right now. My girls are both high academic achievers, poised and confident, and their teachers love them. One is snarky and sometimes disrespectful to me; the other is never disrespectful. Both on social media. They both crave and ask for no-phones family dinners and conversation time which, I'll be honest, I count as a huge parenting win.
Do what works best for your family. My kids and I aren't perfect, but so far, our results are pretty good.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,772
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on May 20, 2016 12:11:55 GMT
No my youngest (12) does not have Facebook, Instagram, snapcat, Tumblr or is allowed to download any apps before we talk about it. She went to a LEO camp last summer and she was the only one who didn't raise their hand to say they had the abive. When the deputy asked...gotta love her...because we as a family felt that they were not appropriate yet. Mom love....I don't think she will untill high school. She has asked about pinintrest, she uses my account and tags to her board. There is no reason for it, so much goes on its astonishing. Yes, I'm mean, yes she will be socially awkward... but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave. My kids have access to evil social media as well and have turned out relatively normal. There are a couple high achievers in there but that has incredibly little to do with my parenting skills and 100% to do with who *they* are. And couldn't you say the same? You have a child who has made life choices that you are absolutely and completely not in support of...was that a result of your above parenting skills or the result of who she is and the choices she made for herself? Of course we should all provide the best environment and boundaries we can for our children. But mine are no better than the next persons and I'm not a better or worse parent because of it. I'd rather we ease into things at a comfortable for us pace and teach as we go than turn them loose at 18 to wing it themselves.
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Post by shescrafty on May 20, 2016 12:21:32 GMT
It is such an individual decision for each family. My son is 14 and had a history of not being able to control himself with his iPod touch. He did have a non-data phone but could only call or text on it. This spring he joined a high school team and all the communication was done via an app called group me. Even communication from his coach was sent this way.
I needed a new phone so he did get my old iPhone. We set the restrictions so that he cannot download any apps without me turning it on and he does not have that code at all. When he asked to add on Instagram and Snapchat I sat with him while he registered and I have all of his passwords. As soon as that was done I deleted the iTunes store again so I don't think he is downloading a secret one. His phone is in here every night and when it things with alerts I check it sometimes it's Instagram sometimes it Snapchat and so far they have all been OK.
My neighbor is adamant that her son not have a phone yet – and that is perfectly fine for that. Each family has to do what works. My son has actually become more social and outgoing because he can communicate and group texts and things like that that he was missing out on before.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on May 20, 2016 12:41:48 GMT
Oh yes, the teen years version of the Mommy Wars! Just like breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding, this question can be different for each family depending on where you live, the circumstances, how well they do with rules, and your individual child. There is no clear-cut across the board answer for everyone.
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Deleted
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Jun 3, 2024 3:07:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 12:50:24 GMT
Won't let their middle schooler be on social media? My 12 year old got an iPhone for his bday last year. He wanted an Instagram account but I said no. It seems like everyone his age has Instagram and snapchat. You have to be 13 to sign up for either account or lie about your birthday. He is a really good kid and will be 13 in a few months. I planned to let him get an Instagram account then as long as I have the password. Am I being too strict? I realize it's how kids communicate these days but I just see so many dangers with social media. Why are people letting their kids on snapchat?? From my understanding you can send messages and pictures that disappear after you see them? Am I missing something here? My 17 year old recently found out how bad snap chat can be. I have a 12 year old, no social media for her because there's no need for it. My 14 year old has no desire for a phone or any type of social media. Just YouTube. And I'm just fine with that.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on May 20, 2016 13:22:55 GMT
I made my kids wait till they were 13 for an account. I let them use snap chat because I'm a bad mother and I have no control over my children and a too stupid to know bad things can happen. Because, not my kid! Sorry. I must respond with snark when those types of questions are put out there like an innocent question when we all know it just smacks of judgement and superiority because you do it differently. Hmm. I seriously did not pick up anything like that in this OP. And trust me, I totally know what you're talking about. I've seen it so many times. But in this particular case it really sounded more to me like a mom who is wondering if she's making a mountain out of a molehill or choosing the wrong hill to die on, etc., etc. Maybe. I think she just supported the snark in the follow up post judging her friend later. And I get sick of it all. My kid has a phone. My nephew does not. Why? Because they are different kids, with different personalities and my sister parents him the way she needs to parent him and I do the same. Everyone has reasons for it. When asking "Why does anyone let their kid use snapchat" it's not because she actually wants to know. She already read about it, and disagrees with it's use. Why does anyone do anything is just a false front for judging. "Why does anyone eat fast food" isn't because someone doesn't know why (time restrictions, lots of time spent in the car, not a lot of cash flow, tired and don't feel like cooking, to name a few reasons), it's because they believe themselves superior for not eating at a fast food joint. Same thing I was reading here.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 20, 2016 13:26:23 GMT
Won't let their middle schooler be on social media? My 12 year old got an iPhone for his bday last year. He wanted an Instagram account but I said no. It seems like everyone his age has Instagram and snapchat. You have to be 13 to sign up for either account or lie about your birthday. He is a really good kid and will be 13 in a few months. I planned to let him get an Instagram account then as long as I have the password. Am I being too strict? I realize it's how kids communicate these days but I just see so many dangers with social media. Why are people letting their kids on snapchat?? From my understanding you can send messages and pictures that disappear after you see them? Am I missing something here? The only one? No, but my kid's been on it for quite some time.
My kids have friends who are forbidden from being on social media and some of the stuff those kids post is just not appropriate. I see it because I monitor my kids' accounts. Their parents are completely clueless.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
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Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 20, 2016 13:29:08 GMT
You are not the only one and good for you for waiting to let her have one.
For my son, we waited until he was 13 and had his Facebook totally locked down. (there was not snapchat at that time - thank goodness!)
For SO's daughter (she is 10 right now, will be 11 in July), her mom thought it a great idea to set up a Facebook account for her when she was 8! There were pictures of her, no security. We only found out because of the "People you may know". We got that shut down real quick. Daughter takes it upon herself to open an instagram account. She had all these followers, she just would accept them. Doesn't know but a few. We had her shut that down. She was posting pictures of herself, our house, wearing clothes that had her school name on them. Kids just don't understand what they are setting themselves up for. She does musically with friends at school, but she is also being followed by others that she doesn't know. Again, she was making some of these videos wearing school clothing, really showing off the house. We had to sit her down AGAIN and talk to her about what she is doing. In her mind, she is just having fun. But there are crazy people out there looking and watching and waiting. It's so scary to have kids with social media. It's a whole big world out there!
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 20, 2016 13:31:50 GMT
There is no reason for it, so much goes on its astonishing. Yes, I'm mean, yes she will be socially awkward... but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave. Says the woman posting on a social media site.
I have two boys who are exactly as you have described (although not socially awkward in the least). They are creative, friendly, articulate, sweet, caring, etc. and they've had social media accounts since they were tweens.
It's not social media that makes kids assholes, it's a lack of parenting.
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Post by shamrock on May 20, 2016 13:35:55 GMT
DS, age 12, has had a phone for a year. But has no social media. He has a gmail address for personal (got when he was born before the age question existed) and for school (controlled by school.) Probably 90% of his group of friends has phones. A good amount of them at least have instagram and music.ly. I've told him I would prefer he wait till 13. But honestly he hasn't wanted it. Many of his friends have friended me on Instagram. I'm amazed at how many of them have public accounts & aren't locked down.
I will say there was a group text for a the group of his friends that rides the bus with him. He quickly got sick of that! The (and honestly it was mostly just a couple of girls) posted the same pics that they share on instagram. The drama that went on was crazy. He got tired of hearing what they were having for dinner, seeing them make duck lip selfies, and argue with each other so he removed himself from the group thread. He said if he needed to talk to someone it made more sense to privately text them and not call them out on the group text. Smart boy IMO!
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,811
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 20, 2016 13:44:33 GMT
There is no reason for it, so much goes on its astonishing. Yes, I'm mean, yes she will be socially awkward... but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more I agree 100%!!! I wish my SO would get that phone away from daughter. I can't tell you how many times we have been outside and she stays inside on her phone. It's horrible. I have told her a couple of times to come for a walk with me and the dog. She always asks - how far are we going? LOL
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Post by 1girlygirl on May 20, 2016 13:51:38 GMT
My DD is 14, but she's been on Instagram (her main one is a private account) since she was 11. She also has a YouTube account, Twitter (she just follows others at this point), FB (she doesn't use at all), and snapchat. She and her friends mostly use snapchat though. They mostly send each other goofy-faced photos, and that's the main way they text each other. We have had, and continue to have, conversations about what is/isn't appropriate. Everyone at her school knows about the kids who've "supposedly" sent nudes through snapchat. My 8 yr old DS also has an Instagram and snapchat, but the only followers are dh, dd, and myself.
I wouldn't cut them off from social media; that really is the way they communicate with their peers. I really believe the only way to keep them from using it, is them not having a phone. They don't need your permission, and if they really want an account they'll do it without your knowledge.
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Post by gar on May 20, 2016 13:57:57 GMT
Hmm. I seriously did not pick up anything like that in this OP. And trust me, I totally know what you're talking about. I've seen it so many times. But in this particular case it really sounded more to me like a mom who is wondering if she's making a mountain out of a molehill or choosing the wrong hill to die on, etc., etc. Maybe. I think she just supported the snark in the follow up post judging her friend later. And I get sick of it all. My kid has a phone. My nephew does not. Why? Because they are different kids, with different personalities and my sister parents him the way she needs to parent him and I do the same. Everyone has reasons for it. When asking "Why does anyone let their kid use snapchat" it's not because she actually wants to know. She already read about it, and disagrees with it's use. Why does anyone do anything is just a false front for judging. "Why does anyone eat fast food" isn't because someone doesn't know why (time restrictions, lots of time spent in the car, not a lot of cash flow, tired and don't feel like cooking, to name a few reasons), it's because they believe themselves superior for not eating at a fast food joint. Same thing I was reading here. I'm not sure the OP falls into this category but often these questions might just as well be phrased "Am I the only one parenting properly?"
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,714
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on May 20, 2016 14:09:43 GMT
My middle schooler (14yo) has access to all social media, but he is not that into it. He's more into xbox. I did have a little laugh last week. He finally created a FB account, and I was the first person he friended
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Post by Zee on May 20, 2016 14:16:14 GMT
but she is creative, friendly,reads a ton, has good friends, is sweet, cares about others, stands up to bullies, plays outside, helpful, respectful, stay away from the majority of girl drama, is not boy crazy, can hold a conversation, her phone is not attached to her 24-7 & so much more. I'd rather her got without social media and focus on being in the present and understand how to behave. I'll take all that with a grain of salt, knowing what I know about the older daughter. And every time I read an update about that poor kid,I wonder why her mom has to put all her business on social media.
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