Post by Basket1lady on Jun 14, 2016 20:33:32 GMT
Gosh, I hope this is clear enough. Names have been changed to protect both the innocent...
DD is 17 and a junior in high school. She will be a senior next year. She was at a grad party on Saturday for a good friend of hers, Brad, who graduated this year. Earlier in the day Nancy dropped off a grad gift for Brad and also one for DD. DD was not yet at the party. The issue is that DD did not graduate this year. She graduates next year. Nancy knew this--she was in the same theatre program as DD and Brad (they go/went to a performing arts high school with about 120 kids in the program. Nancy is 19 now and graduated from the program last year.) I think DD should return the gift, but I also think that doing so could open up a big mess of teen girl angst.
Some background:
DD , Nancy, Brad and a big group of theatre kids got together about once a week, usually on the weekend to hang out, watch movies, play Dungeons and Dragons, etc. That's pretty normal with the theatre kids--they see each other all week at practice, have several classes together, and are joined at the hip. Because of some poor choices that Nancy made about 2 months ago, DD and the group are no longer friends with her (Nancy) and the group has basically dropped Nancy. Nancy hurt DD very deeply and DD does not trust her anymore.
In the meantime, Nancy's mom has been texting me asking what happened between the girls, what can Nancy do to make up with DD, that DD is such a good influence on Nancy, etc. She did this while they were friendly, too. DD is an honors student, president of the Drama Club, and is just a nice girl, if I do say so myself. Nancy struggles with school and her mom really wants her to get a college degree. She's a nice girl, but has gotten in with the wrong crowd at the local community college. I responded pretty simply, that the girls needed to work it out for themselves and that DD would listen if Nancy wanted to talk. I think that Nancy's mom is behind both of the grad gifts. The card with DD's gift did have Nancy's signature on it, but the other writing was different. Probably the mom. The gift is also pretty generic (but sweet-a mug about living your dreams) but nothing that Nancy would have chosen. I can run the gift by Nancy's house myself without involving DD (although I would not do it without DD knowing I was doing so.) But I know that Nancy's mom will ask what happened with the girls. And Nancy's mom works from home, so she's there a lot.
WWTPD?
ETA: I'm thinking DD should return the mug because she did not graduate. I think Nancy's mom DOES think that DD graduated.
Update: DD wrote the thank you note, addressing it to the family. It wasn't a $5 mug--probably more like $15 according to Amazon--but that isn't important. It just seemed dishonest to keep the mug since DD isn't a graduate. Sort of like keeping a wedding gift if you didn't get married. The concern was creating MORE drama, which is why I questioned returning the mug. If DD and Nancy were on good terms, DD would definitely have returned the mug and we all would have had a good laugh. In any case, the thank you note is done and in the mail. Thank you for everyone's advice!
DD is 17 and a junior in high school. She will be a senior next year. She was at a grad party on Saturday for a good friend of hers, Brad, who graduated this year. Earlier in the day Nancy dropped off a grad gift for Brad and also one for DD. DD was not yet at the party. The issue is that DD did not graduate this year. She graduates next year. Nancy knew this--she was in the same theatre program as DD and Brad (they go/went to a performing arts high school with about 120 kids in the program. Nancy is 19 now and graduated from the program last year.) I think DD should return the gift, but I also think that doing so could open up a big mess of teen girl angst.
Some background:
DD , Nancy, Brad and a big group of theatre kids got together about once a week, usually on the weekend to hang out, watch movies, play Dungeons and Dragons, etc. That's pretty normal with the theatre kids--they see each other all week at practice, have several classes together, and are joined at the hip. Because of some poor choices that Nancy made about 2 months ago, DD and the group are no longer friends with her (Nancy) and the group has basically dropped Nancy. Nancy hurt DD very deeply and DD does not trust her anymore.
In the meantime, Nancy's mom has been texting me asking what happened between the girls, what can Nancy do to make up with DD, that DD is such a good influence on Nancy, etc. She did this while they were friendly, too. DD is an honors student, president of the Drama Club, and is just a nice girl, if I do say so myself. Nancy struggles with school and her mom really wants her to get a college degree. She's a nice girl, but has gotten in with the wrong crowd at the local community college. I responded pretty simply, that the girls needed to work it out for themselves and that DD would listen if Nancy wanted to talk. I think that Nancy's mom is behind both of the grad gifts. The card with DD's gift did have Nancy's signature on it, but the other writing was different. Probably the mom. The gift is also pretty generic (but sweet-a mug about living your dreams) but nothing that Nancy would have chosen. I can run the gift by Nancy's house myself without involving DD (although I would not do it without DD knowing I was doing so.) But I know that Nancy's mom will ask what happened with the girls. And Nancy's mom works from home, so she's there a lot.
WWTPD?
ETA: I'm thinking DD should return the mug because she did not graduate. I think Nancy's mom DOES think that DD graduated.
Update: DD wrote the thank you note, addressing it to the family. It wasn't a $5 mug--probably more like $15 according to Amazon--but that isn't important. It just seemed dishonest to keep the mug since DD isn't a graduate. Sort of like keeping a wedding gift if you didn't get married. The concern was creating MORE drama, which is why I questioned returning the mug. If DD and Nancy were on good terms, DD would definitely have returned the mug and we all would have had a good laugh. In any case, the thank you note is done and in the mail. Thank you for everyone's advice!
LOL Sorry. I have a temper!)