Ideas needed- suicide mentioned...

I think what "sweetpeasmom" said is great. Better than a gift card. The gift card might seem like a handout to her since relationship is strained. But a basket is great. You also might like to include some dollar store summer toys in their for the kids, like bubbles, small water guns, sidewalk chalk, things like that. It's a very nice gesture.

When I was struggling with my dad suddenly dying after having just made an incredibly exhausting across country move, I wished that someone would come clean my house--do laundry, deep clean the kitchen, etc. I was so drained. 

I talked to my brother today because it's his birthday. Even though my mom put us through hell, he still insists that what my stepmother "put him through" was the worst thing he's been through. Yeah, my stepmom was very hostile to my mom and my brother, but she was tired of them blaming my dad for all their self made problems. 

That continuing drama was what made my dad's death so horrible to deal with. No support. 

If I could gift a widow with free housekeeping--even if it was one time--that's what I'd do. Everyone brings food--especially right at first.

I would just pretend that whatever happened on facebook after getting back the borrowed item never happened. She might have been under tremendous strains, who knows. 

I also think that if you want to continue to do something or are looking for smaller things to do--just calling and saying I'm going grocery shopping today and would like to stop by and pick up the list of things you need and get them for you. Don't back down when she says no at first. I didn't want to bother people. I wasn't sure who really DID mean call me if you need anything or who just said it because they didn't know what else to say. 



Or taking the kids to the park for the afternoon or to the movies. 

You might also consider doing her yard. Either you and your husband taking care of it - or hiring someone to do it. That's something that will probably go on the back burner for her for a while if she was like a lot of women and her husband took care of it. She would probably really appreciate something very practical like that.

Oh my word. That is so tragic. About how old is the child that is with her? 

This might not be what you want to do or feels right but I want to share it because a pea shared it with me and I have done it a few times and it is always well received. 

Purchase a box that is somewhat attractive or just a plain white one, fill it with some tissue paper or the stuff you would put in a gift basket and put small personal sized tissues in the box with a card. When I gave it to friend that was a believer I printed out scriptures with verses on grief, loss, God being with her and things that would bring comfort to someone of faith. I am making one up now for a another friend and will put a gc in the card (that I also put in the box) to a local place to eat as she is a nurse and works FT and is a single mom. She has 2 sons and one went to be with the Lord about 2 weeks after a life long battle with a metabolic disorder. 

Strained or not kindness wins. So with that aspect I would still do something because your heart is leading you to do so.