zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Jun 21, 2016 20:16:42 GMT
I suffer from depression as well but not as severely as you. I just want to recommend an author to you. Her name is Jenny Lawson and she also suffers from depression. She also has a blog and many of her fans suffer from depression. She can make me laugh on the worst days I have. She is real and one of the things she has said is "depression lies." Depression tells you that life is not worth living, it lies. Depression tells you things will never get better, it lies. Depression tells you that nobody cares if you live or die, it lies. I adore Jenny! I've read both her books, and do read her blog from time to time. She's actually been going through a very bad phase lately. I love that she is totally open about her illness and her neuroses. I know depression lies. I do try to remember that. But sometimes it's very hard to do so.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Jun 21, 2016 20:28:11 GMT
You say you'll never get that chance again; I'm not sure why that is. Can you plan for something else that you really want to do? I can see that you are so disappointed that your daughters didn't show up for your performance, and that it wasn't filmed either. I ask this very gently - did you tell them how important this was to you, and ask them directly to try to come? I say this only because I had to learn that I should never assume that people can read my mind. We all want to say "They are close to me so they should just know what's important to me." - but people don't always know that, and then when we expect them to behave a certain way and they don't, we are disappointed or hurt. I can't hold people responsible for what they didn't do, if I never told them what I wanted from them. I hope your therapist can help you. Hugs to you. I'll never have the opportunity again because there are few pieces that ask so much of an actress, and we won't do the same piece again. Yes, I specifically asked them. They knew. DH and I have been together for almost 20 years, and he was blown away by my performance. He didn't know I had that in me. I did. And I wanted my family to see it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 15:57:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 20:34:51 GMT
Sending hugs!
Don't let the actions (inactions of others) drag you down. It only makes matters worse. After major let downs by my loved ones I finally changed my attitude and began to lower my expectations of others. It has helped in so many ways.
It might sound harsh and I hope you don't take it the wrong way. People can't make you happy, you need to find joy in the things you do. May I suggest you find an activity that you enjoy and ENJOY it. Just because those around you didn't come to see you in the play, what is FAR more important is that you enjoyed it.
Change what you are doing because it isn't bringing you joy. Don't wait for joy to find you, find JOY, seek JOY! I had a bout of depression and the only saving grace was I went back to work.
Hugs!
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 22, 2016 1:53:46 GMT
Sending hugs! Don't let the actions (inactions of others) drag you down. It only makes matters worse. After major let downs by my loved ones I finally changed my attitude and began to lower my expectations of others. It has helped in so many ways. It might sound harsh and I hope you don't take it the wrong way. People can't make you happy, you need to find joy in the things you do. May I suggest you find an activity that you enjoy and ENJOY it. Just because those around you didn't come to see you in the play, what is FAR more important is that you enjoyed it. Change what you are doing because it isn't bringing you joy. Don't wait for joy to find you, find JOY, seek JOY! I had a bout of depression and the only saving grace was I went back to work. Hugs! Bears repeating. The sale at the school sounds absolutely amazing! Make sure you periodically pause to just be in the moment. It's deeply healing medicine, even in the chaos. One minute, one hour, one day at a time. Sometimes, that's all we can do and that's OK.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Jun 22, 2016 18:12:45 GMT
I know you ladies are right; I need to find my own joy. That's one of the things I was talking about with my therapist. I just don't know what that joy is. This entire year I've been in a funk, not enjoying things that I normally would, just struggling. Some days what I really want to do is just bury my head under the bedding and stay there. For days. But I don't.
Depression is so hard to live with. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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Post by newscrapper05 on Jun 22, 2016 19:25:15 GMT
I hear you. You are worthy.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 22, 2016 19:40:06 GMT
Hugs to you...I know exactly how you feel as I have been there myself. You know i have been going through a rough time with my son. And I had started journaling about his treatment and I found it very depressing like I was too focused on the negative. So I went and bought a paper journal and I have started every day writing down one thing that day that brought me joy instead. I find that it really helps me to focus on the positive instead.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 22, 2016 23:18:54 GMT
I know you ladies are right; I need to find my own joy. That's one of the things I was talking about with my therapist. I just don't know what that joy is. This entire year I've been in a funk, not enjoying things that I normally would, just struggling. Some days what I really want to do is just bury my head under the bedding and stay there. For days. But I don't. Depression is so hard to live with. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You can make yourself more anxious by stressing over finding something that makes you happy, Z. Just try to find something that actually absorbs your attention. Here's an example - I'm the one in the family interested in family history. I have been since I was a kid. It may be extremely tedious, but going through old records to get new information grabs my attention. My anxiety level drops greatly when I work on our genealogy and my kids tell me that this is making a difference. That's good enough right now. I might still have a long way to go, but comparing where I am to where I was... night and day. Don't go looking for joy. Look for something that has meaning to you that you can do and let joy find you again.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 22, 2016 23:54:15 GMT
^^^ I agree with the above post... You could also find an activity that is a bit 'brainless' to help you NOT think about stuff, if you know what I mean.
Doing some sort of repetitive activity is a great way for me to soothe my mind. For me, activities that can do that are: doodling, coloring (yes, an adult coloring book, lol) making an art journal page, or making a scrapbook page... things that get me to focus on colors, patterns, shapes, or cutting and pasting paper- I can sort through my patterned papers and other colorful craft supplies, I can focus on coloring in small spaces on a coloring book page, I can doodle small repetitive circles, etc. When I lived in Illinois, weeding my flower garden was a GREAT way for me to focus on a small, repetitive, mindless task; I actually LOVED weeding because of that added benefit. (Eating potato chips or popcorn can also be a very mindless, repetitive activity, but since I'm trying to lose weight, that activity is out-- lol!)
For someone else, a relaxing, repetitive activity might be something like: a word search puzzle, Sudoku, a crossword puzzle, crocheting, knitting, putting together a jigsaw puzzle, etc.
But whatever activity it is, doing something like this can help you focus only on that particular task and not think about the other stuff going on in your life, at least for that period of time, anyway. An activity like that helps you to get into a state of flow-- a sort of meditative state that can relax and clear your mind.
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