Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 17:00:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 12:47:22 GMT
Thinking of you.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Jun 23, 2016 15:20:13 GMT
I hope you have wonderful support in your days from family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you during your time of grief.
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Post by craftedbys on Jun 23, 2016 17:37:30 GMT
Thinking of you & continued prayers for you and your family.
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Post by utmr on Jun 23, 2016 18:41:57 GMT
Thank you all. It's been two weeks today, almost to the minute actually. Last week was difficult but we were so busy which was really helpful. We are back home now and I have just been exhausted. As long as in busy I'm ok, but when I stop or get sidetracked I get off task and have trouble getting back on.
We've gone through the house quickly and removed valuables and some sentimental items. There is still a lot of work to be done. It's just a lifetime of stuff, pictures, dishes, clothes, books - and everything has to be touched. We flipped through books and found notes, scraps of paper, just the day-to-day things of your life.
My brother and SIL went to the crash site the day after and recovered quite a bit of debris strewn down the highway. Mostly papers but they found a necklace that my mom always carried in her purse and my dads dentures. They don't look like his - the teeth are too small and look feminine. But he gave them to the funeral home to put in the casket, so daddy has *somebody's* dentures...
There are still some things missing, an ice chest and Rubbermaid tote they always traveled with. We found the lid to the ice chest and the tea pitcher, along with food from it, but not the body of the ice chest. There are clothes in the tote missing too. DPS is checking to see if they were gathered and put with the wreckage of one of the other vehicles. I don't suppose it really matters though.
I let my brother plan the funeral. He was insistent and I wasn't up to the arguments. So I bit my tongue and let him do what he pleased.
DD and I wrote the obituary which seemed to be well received. If I can figure out how to remove identifiers I'll post it here if anyone is interested.
Thank you all again for the comfort and support. Last week I read and re-read the comments. I didn't reply much but please know that it was a tremendous comfort.
DD refers to the peas as "those crazy scrap booking helicopter moms" and she asked "have you told them? You know they'll want to know". I told her when there's a crisis there's no one better to go rotors up and circle the copters than y'all. You are all the best and have my eternal gratitude and love.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jun 23, 2016 18:46:28 GMT
Hugs.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 23, 2016 18:59:18 GMT
My brother and SIL went to the crash site the day after and recovered quite a bit of debris strewn down the highway. What an awful job. You've accomplished a lot in such a short time. You're probably still in shock and running on adrenaline. {{{Big Hugs}}}
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Post by cyndijane on Jun 23, 2016 19:01:13 GMT
{{Hugs}}. Please know you are in so many hearts and prayers!
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Jun 23, 2016 19:23:39 GMT
You're in my thoughts
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Post by utmr on Jun 23, 2016 19:37:41 GMT
My brother and SIL went to the crash site the day after and recovered quite a bit of debris strewn down the highway. What an awful job. You've accomplished a lot in such a short time. You're probably still in shock and running on adrenaline. {{{Big Hugs}}} It was, and I'm grateful that they were able to do it. They also went to the wrecker yard to retrieve items from the truck. My older DD and I went to the crash site last Thursday. There was very little there other than glass and broken bits of metal. It sounds kind of morbid, but I wanted to see for myself. From the point the skid marks started to the curve that the other vehicle came around was about 200'. There just was nothing they could do and no way to avoid it. It was oddly comforting; I could satisfy myself that the seatbelts worked (brother found the ends where they were cut away), the airbags worked and there just was no other safety feature or action that could have been taken. We found one scrap of paper, the remains of the tea pitcher, a tube of caulk, and oddly enough, a can of Axe body spray. We put everything in the tea pitcher along with flowers from the ditch and put it at the base of the tree. We found a half-roll of yellow police tape in the ditch, so we made a bow (of sorts) from it and tied it to the tree. So if you are ever near Bynum, Texas and see an odd yellow bow on a tree, send some positive energy into the universe for us. But they were not "there", if you know what I mean. I was worried I would feel or sense them somehow there, and I didn't. There were butterflies nearby that floated away while we were there. If you stand in the road (don't recommend that!) it looks so stereotypically "Texas" - bright blue sky with puffy brilliant white clouds, a two lane road with the yellow line, fields of corn (looked like corn to me, but I'm a city girl) high and green in the fields as far as you can see, and then a windbreak of about 20 trees on the fenceline. Like a stock photo - beautiful and terribly sad at the same time.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on Jun 23, 2016 20:00:07 GMT
Prayers for you and your family.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,146
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 23, 2016 20:06:55 GMT
I can't even imagine what you are going through. I wish you comfort and love.
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Post by heartland on Jun 23, 2016 20:16:57 GMT
(((hugs)))
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 23, 2016 20:22:55 GMT
"DD refers to the peas as "those crazy scrap booking helicopter moms" and she asked "have you told them? You know they'll want to know". I told her when there's a crisis there's no one better to go rotors up and circle the copters than y'all. You are all the best and have my eternal gratitude and love." utmr Your DD has us pegged!
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Post by femalebusiness on Jun 23, 2016 20:24:44 GMT
Sending peaceful thoughts your way. (((Hugs)))
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Post by hop2 on Jun 23, 2016 20:30:12 GMT
utmr I'm so sorry. Such a devastating thing to happen. You are braver than I, I still haven't gone to the site where my sister was killed & it's been 18 months. I'm just not strong enough, not that I'm down there often but I actively avoid the site. You accomplished so much in such a short time. You'll get thru one moment, one day at a time. I wish you peace. {{{hugs}}}
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jun 23, 2016 22:03:55 GMT
Hugs to you and prayers for peace. We've been worried about you.
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Post by Merge on Jun 23, 2016 22:13:09 GMT
I had to do that too - go to the scene and just see it. You're right - they're not there. I'm still just so sorry you're going through this. Cleaning out their house will be hard, which you already know. I'm glad it seems you have the luxury of some time.
Be kind to yourself.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 23, 2016 22:19:49 GMT
I've been thinking of you as well. Hugs To you and your family. And thanks for the updates. Keep 'em coming.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jun 24, 2016 4:27:20 GMT
But they were not "there", if you know what I mean. I was worried I would feel or sense them somehow there, and I didn't. I know what you mean. My BIL was killed while riding a motorcycle. There wasn't anything he could have done to avoid it. It all happened fast and then he was gone. We had to go look at the site, too. Everything had been cleared away before we got there and it didn't feel like he was still there, hanging around, either. It helped, somehow. it looks so stereotypically "Texas" I live in Texas. I get it.
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Post by patin on Jun 24, 2016 4:41:40 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by destined2bmom on Jul 1, 2016 0:45:48 GMT
I am so sorry. I am continuing to send prayers to you and your family.
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Post by leannec on Jul 1, 2016 0:55:58 GMT
Continued hugs to you utmr!
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Post by krcrafts on Jul 1, 2016 1:00:26 GMT
Hugs to you.
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Post by quinlove on Jul 1, 2016 1:11:50 GMT
((((( utmr )))))
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Post by Really Red on Jul 1, 2016 1:35:31 GMT
Sending you lots and lots of hugs and love
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Post by utmr on Jul 1, 2016 4:31:41 GMT
Thanks, y'all are the best. Both DD's and I drove up tonight to spend a few hours working and then go home tomorrow. It was hard to drive up at night and have no lights on. The neighbors mowed the front pasture without saying a word. Such good neighbors. Tonight's goal is to empty the bedroom closets. I'll let you know tomorrow how big of a mess I am. Hugs and thanks to you all.
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