Post by melissa on Aug 3, 2014 6:43:50 GMT
This happened this evening and I thought it was the sort of thing people post on our boards, so I am posting. Why not? 
My daughter has been away most of the summer at what is known in the ballet world as summer intensive programs. This isn't
"ballet camp" as it is much more intense than that. They usually dance anywhere from 6-8 hrs a day. This particular one takes place on a college campus. It is not a religious camp or college, unless you consider ballet a religion.
Anyway, she is at the end of the first week of her last program. There is a dress code that was distributed many weeks ago. It explains appropriate class attire and that dance wear cannot be worn outside of class. It specifically mentions that they should bring casual attire to wear outside of class and that the weather is usually warm during the day but can be cool at night. That's it. Nothing more specific about what casual attire they can and cannot wear.
So, today, a full week into the program, she is told by a counselor that she cannot wear crop tops any more. The counselors (or one counselor, I don't really know) have decided that the students represent the ballet company and as such should be dressing in a more modest manner. Oh, and that the older dancers (16-17 yr olds) should be examples for the younger dancers (aged 12 and up) in their attire. Not exact words. I am just paraphrasing what my dd told me.
The picture below is pretty much what my daughter has been wearing in the summer and what is now banned. Cropped tops with short or capped sleeves and high waisted shorts. Always with her shoulders covered because she thinks the tops like this are cuter that way. She started wearing these a few years ago, before they were anywhere near as popular as they are now. She only wears these shirts with high waisted shorts which minimizes the amount of belly showing. Mind you, she is a serious ballet dancer. She has quite the 6 pack and no belly fat whatsoever. She is in incredible shape.
My daughter was upset about this new dress code suddenly being implemented a week into the program. Mind you, she is on the other side of the country without access to anything other than what she packed. She has about 7 or 8 of these shirts with her for the 3 week program and 3 or 4 pairs of shorts like this, with the high waist. She has maybe 2 or 3 T-shirts and a single sweatshirt.
If this had been in the handbook before the program, I would not be annoyed in the least. I'd be annoyed at my kid for bringing clothing against dress code. Dd actually attended this program LAST summer and wore some of these outfits then too. She has many more now as the style has become popular and she likes it.. and it's hot out! The dorm does not have AC.
No, this is not the end of the world and I am not pea-livid. Pea-annoyed, yes. I asked to speak to the counselor for clarification. Was not pleased with that call. Counselor was rather condescending to me, just as she was to dd. She did give me the number for the director of the counselors. Oh, and said counselor told my dd that she could just buy some new clothing tomorrow. Oh really? Are you paying? (ok.. that part makes me very annoyed!) In the end, I emailed the director expressing my displeasure at the creation of a brand new dress code after the students arrived and expressing my disappointment in dealing with the counselor and her suggestion that dd just use the last of her spending money for the summer on a new wardrobe.. money that is already earmarked for their theme park trip and a few other odds and ends. I cc'd someone much further up the ladder who I am sure is completely unaware as I got an "I am away from my office until next Tuesday" automated reply.
I totally get dress codes and actually am in favor of reasonable dress codes in many settings. I'd even be OK with this one if it didn't suddenly pop up in the middle of a program! I don't think my dd dresses seductively. Aside from these shirts that do expose a bit of her belly, she is generally a rather modest dresser for an incredibly fit teenager. She likes cute, and often somewhat retro clothing. She fell in love with these because of the retro nature... the shirts she has have flowers or hearts on them.. that sort of thing.
So go ahead.... join me in the latest edition of "What do the (refu)Peas Think?"
**************
UPDATE
Dd met with the actual counselor to whom she is assigned. This counselor was off yesterday when all this occurred. It turns out that one of my hypotheses was correct. This ALL came from a single counselor. It is the same counselor who was rude to me on the phone. Dd was able to show her counselor the exact outfit in question as she had worn it in a Snapchat that was still saved on her ipod. Her counselor thought it was ridiculous and an over reaction. Dd is allowed to wear the clothing she brought with her. Counselor thinks there is nothing inappropriate about dd's attire whatsoever. Counselor agrees that it is silly to even say it is an influence on the younger dancers and what they might wear. Just like dd, all of those dancers only have what they brought with them. I think the counselor in question has some issues of her own. I do know that not all counselors hired are dancers (most are), some are college students from the local college. I'd bet she is one of those and, in retrospect, was not the best candidate for this job.
I still have not had a reply from the head counselor and I let dd know that if they inquire, I still expect an email or phone call in reply. Her own counselor was forwarded a copy of my email which means the email was read. Her counselor offered to call me and explain. I am fine with dd's explanation. I am not OK with a lack of response from the administration (head counselor). I am sure I will eventually hear back from the person above her when she returns to work later in the week.
My daughter has been away most of the summer at what is known in the ballet world as summer intensive programs. This isn't
"ballet camp" as it is much more intense than that. They usually dance anywhere from 6-8 hrs a day. This particular one takes place on a college campus. It is not a religious camp or college, unless you consider ballet a religion.
Anyway, she is at the end of the first week of her last program. There is a dress code that was distributed many weeks ago. It explains appropriate class attire and that dance wear cannot be worn outside of class. It specifically mentions that they should bring casual attire to wear outside of class and that the weather is usually warm during the day but can be cool at night. That's it. Nothing more specific about what casual attire they can and cannot wear.
So, today, a full week into the program, she is told by a counselor that she cannot wear crop tops any more. The counselors (or one counselor, I don't really know) have decided that the students represent the ballet company and as such should be dressing in a more modest manner. Oh, and that the older dancers (16-17 yr olds) should be examples for the younger dancers (aged 12 and up) in their attire. Not exact words. I am just paraphrasing what my dd told me.
The picture below is pretty much what my daughter has been wearing in the summer and what is now banned. Cropped tops with short or capped sleeves and high waisted shorts. Always with her shoulders covered because she thinks the tops like this are cuter that way. She started wearing these a few years ago, before they were anywhere near as popular as they are now. She only wears these shirts with high waisted shorts which minimizes the amount of belly showing. Mind you, she is a serious ballet dancer. She has quite the 6 pack and no belly fat whatsoever. She is in incredible shape.
My daughter was upset about this new dress code suddenly being implemented a week into the program. Mind you, she is on the other side of the country without access to anything other than what she packed. She has about 7 or 8 of these shirts with her for the 3 week program and 3 or 4 pairs of shorts like this, with the high waist. She has maybe 2 or 3 T-shirts and a single sweatshirt.
If this had been in the handbook before the program, I would not be annoyed in the least. I'd be annoyed at my kid for bringing clothing against dress code. Dd actually attended this program LAST summer and wore some of these outfits then too. She has many more now as the style has become popular and she likes it.. and it's hot out! The dorm does not have AC.
No, this is not the end of the world and I am not pea-livid. Pea-annoyed, yes. I asked to speak to the counselor for clarification. Was not pleased with that call. Counselor was rather condescending to me, just as she was to dd. She did give me the number for the director of the counselors. Oh, and said counselor told my dd that she could just buy some new clothing tomorrow. Oh really? Are you paying? (ok.. that part makes me very annoyed!) In the end, I emailed the director expressing my displeasure at the creation of a brand new dress code after the students arrived and expressing my disappointment in dealing with the counselor and her suggestion that dd just use the last of her spending money for the summer on a new wardrobe.. money that is already earmarked for their theme park trip and a few other odds and ends. I cc'd someone much further up the ladder who I am sure is completely unaware as I got an "I am away from my office until next Tuesday" automated reply.
I totally get dress codes and actually am in favor of reasonable dress codes in many settings. I'd even be OK with this one if it didn't suddenly pop up in the middle of a program! I don't think my dd dresses seductively. Aside from these shirts that do expose a bit of her belly, she is generally a rather modest dresser for an incredibly fit teenager. She likes cute, and often somewhat retro clothing. She fell in love with these because of the retro nature... the shirts she has have flowers or hearts on them.. that sort of thing.
So go ahead.... join me in the latest edition of "What do the (refu)Peas Think?"
**************
UPDATE
Dd met with the actual counselor to whom she is assigned. This counselor was off yesterday when all this occurred. It turns out that one of my hypotheses was correct. This ALL came from a single counselor. It is the same counselor who was rude to me on the phone. Dd was able to show her counselor the exact outfit in question as she had worn it in a Snapchat that was still saved on her ipod. Her counselor thought it was ridiculous and an over reaction. Dd is allowed to wear the clothing she brought with her. Counselor thinks there is nothing inappropriate about dd's attire whatsoever. Counselor agrees that it is silly to even say it is an influence on the younger dancers and what they might wear. Just like dd, all of those dancers only have what they brought with them. I think the counselor in question has some issues of her own. I do know that not all counselors hired are dancers (most are), some are college students from the local college. I'd bet she is one of those and, in retrospect, was not the best candidate for this job.
I still have not had a reply from the head counselor and I let dd know that if they inquire, I still expect an email or phone call in reply. Her own counselor was forwarded a copy of my email which means the email was read. Her counselor offered to call me and explain. I am fine with dd's explanation. I am not OK with a lack of response from the administration (head counselor). I am sure I will eventually hear back from the person above her when she returns to work later in the week.
