peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,620
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 6, 2016 10:13:43 GMT
Sending you live. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 6, 2016 10:53:23 GMT
I can say it's gotten somewhat easier with the passing of time, but the grief is forever a part of my life. Grief IS a part of life. At some point, we all experience losing someone. Your loss is a poignant one and you are rightfully mourning his absence during significant events in your life. I guess my point is, don't expect to not miss him. It's what is supposed to happen. It's a sucky part of life, but it is a part of it. When those days hit, allow yourself the grace to be bowled over by the waves of grief. And then get up the next day and keep doing life. (I hope this isn't coming across as an admonishment. It's so hard to convey tone with just words on a screen. I am simply encouraging the perspective that what happened to you is okay. It sucks, but it is okay. I hope sharing it here and hearing our responses to it helps you to process it.)
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on Jul 6, 2016 11:50:26 GMT
Feeling your pain and your love for your DH. HUGS.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Jul 6, 2016 12:03:06 GMT
Sending ((HUGS)). I am so sorry you are having a rough time.
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Post by nicole2112 on Jul 6, 2016 12:47:31 GMT
Grief is no joke. You are suffering a great loss and you are going through milestones right now that are making it very raw and difficult to navigate.
But you are DOING IT! You got that car, you are leading the charge on the senior pictures and you are there for your family. Every day doesn't have to be a win and you will have days where you stay in bed. It's grief and it's no one's place to say what the timing should be.
Be good to yourself and love on your daughter today. She's going to be beautiful!
Sending you so many hugs... You aren't alone. I promise.
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Post by sphmaz on Jul 6, 2016 12:50:07 GMT
I am so sorry
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,447
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Jul 6, 2016 12:51:10 GMT
Aw I'm so sorry you are struggling. I just can't imagine...
Hugs to you and yours...
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 6, 2016 13:13:27 GMT
jenjie girl you are one amazing lady. That is exactly what I need. I would be honored to hug you and share tissues. Spongemom Scrappants I didn't take your words as admonishment at all. Typically that is how I handle it all. About 2 years in I realized I had been fighting it all tooth and nail and it was making me sick. But every now and then the set of circumstances just catches me off guard and knocks me flat. as a control freak its obnoxious and since it feels like i have lost complete control of everything that compounds the issue if that makes sense. smginaz Suzy Suzy: Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that. I am taking her senior year off because nursing hours don't allow me to be there for all the important things. Ive landed in missouri for the time being and there is a clinic right down the street from my house. I smile every time I drive past it Pictures are this morning. So far everything is running smooth. I did call the vet and found out that he does NOT have an appointment today so that lightens my list. I think its going to be a day where we get thee pictures done and then veg out here at home with netflix, some mt. dew and maybe a pizza while i make my to do list more doable. I had gotten tickets to a concert tomorrow for one of my daughters favorite artists and mine too. We are 6th row. We are getting a hotel room with a pool and there is a possibility they will let us check in a little bit early tomorrow so maybe we can hit the pool before the concert. . We just have to call tomorrow and check. She has no idea what we are doing just that I have a surprise for her. I think that without knowing it, i booked us our distraction To everyone: thank you so much for the kind words and the hugs. I know sometimes it seems like its just words on a web board but they truly do make a difference and help more than anyone knows. Im so grateful to have you guys
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 21, 2024 1:04:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 13:22:38 GMT
I would give the world right now to have the words to help you feel better.
{{{{ hugs }}}}}
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,592
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Jul 6, 2016 13:28:49 GMT
Hugs!! I can only imagine how, on top of this month being hard in general, having to do some of these first/last things, it's even more so.
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Post by mamastone on Jul 6, 2016 13:31:44 GMT
(((Hugs)))
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,986
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Jul 6, 2016 13:37:32 GMT
no words, but lots of hugs. I'm so sorry.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 6, 2016 13:43:27 GMT
My heart hurts for you. It's not the big things. You can semi prepare yourself for those because you know they are coming. It's the little things that have the sharpest jabs. About a year after my sister's DH passed away she was selling their riding mower. She couldn't find the extra key. She broke down in the middle of the garage in fort of the buyer saying " can you just come back for one minute so I can hug you and you can show me where the God damned key is!?"
Be be gentle with yourself and take life one second at a time if you need to.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 6, 2016 13:48:03 GMT
Concert and relaxation by the pool sounds like the perfect distraction. Big big hugs to you today my friend.
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Post by deshacrafts on Jul 6, 2016 13:57:25 GMT
Warm hugs and good wishes for you.
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Post by ilikepink on Jul 6, 2016 14:42:42 GMT
It happens. It's ok, you are entitled to feel the loss. Be kind to yourself - the concert event sounds great!
Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 6, 2016 14:46:37 GMT
PS Spidey I hope you noticed I didn't say you ARE strong! Because I know better. And I don't feel like getting punched. 😜
Ps that was supposed to make you laugh
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 6, 2016 14:51:27 GMT
Hahahaha it did make me laugh :-)
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mamashosh
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Jun 26, 2014 4:15:25 GMT
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Post by mamashosh on Jul 6, 2016 15:16:59 GMT
I am so very sorry.
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 6, 2016 15:31:10 GMT
I spoke too soo. Outdoor session got cancelled due to rain so we have to reschedule that part. Indoor should be fine except she forgot her trumpet which was very special part of these photos as its her dads and she plays it in band. Hoping we can use it in the rescheduled outdoor shots *sigh*
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Jul 6, 2016 15:44:21 GMT
I am so sorry. Please, please, please be kind to yourself. Don't feel like you "should" be feeling or doing XYZ. You are doing great no matter what.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 6, 2016 16:16:54 GMT
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I can see how much you miss him. Hugs to you. I am going to hug my DH a little tighter today and say a prayers of thanks that I have him to help me negotiate my way through this life.
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Post by heartland on Jul 6, 2016 16:35:36 GMT
Remember that we are always here to listen, even if we can't be there for you in person. (Wouldn't it be awesome if the peas had a first response team like the red-cross or something? ) It sounds like the concert and pool time are just what you need right now to recharge and regroup. (((Hugs)))
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 6, 2016 16:57:31 GMT
Being triggered after a major trauma and loss is truly a punch in the gut that knocks the wind out of us. Grief isn't fair. It comes in waves and sometimes it hits you when you least expect it and other times when you might be expecting it, but it still hurts way too much. Please do something completely loving and pampering for yourself this week. Take good, loving care of yourself.
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Post by librarylady on Jul 6, 2016 17:13:31 GMT
Hug to you.
Don't beat yourself up. Grief sneaks up and surprises us at odd times.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 6, 2016 17:17:20 GMT
Remember that we are always here to listen, even if we can't be there for you in person. (Wouldn't it be awesome if the peas had a first response team like the red-cross or something? ) It sounds like the concert and pool time are just what you need right now to recharge and regroup. (((Hugs))) I love this!!
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,003
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Jul 6, 2016 17:21:10 GMT
Your post makes my heart break for you, I'm so sorry, I can feel that pain through you words. <hugs> I hope today is a good day for you. <3
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Post by snowsilver on Jul 6, 2016 17:28:08 GMT
Your post brought a lump to my throat. How I wish he could read it and know how much you love him. But know this--HE LOVED YOU!!! And he would be here for you if he could. But no one can take away the memories, and they become more and more precious. I am so sorry for your hurt.
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Post by whopea on Jul 6, 2016 17:31:18 GMT
I'm so sorry for your ongoing pain and loss. Hugs to you.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 6, 2016 17:35:14 GMT
Oh, Lynn. I am so sorry. All of it sounds completely normal to me. My DH has been battling cancer for 9 years and I still miss the "old" Terry. I count my blessings every day that I still have him, but still, I sometimes scream I want my old life.
I think you are way too hard on yourself. You've had some really hard times with the aftermath of the accident, dealing with insurance, moving, kids - lots of challenges. I bet if your friend or sister said they should be farther along in the grief process you'd tell them to take it easy on themselves. Give yourself the same talk.
We are here for you, dear friend.
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