" You need to get a job"

Ugh, all the freaking time.

For example, my cousins 20 year old kid. He needs a damn job and he needs to keep it for more than a month

My other cousin's 22 year old kid needs to get a job. He can't fish every day for his wbole life. Cousin needs to quit enabling him.

Town know it all...get a 2nd job, you obviously have way too much time on your hands if you need to get in everyone's business and try to run ecerything...which you sucks at running things and nobody likes you

Other than that, if your family can pay the bills and you stay home, I don't care. I will judge (we all know I would) if you are taking aid from the govt and not working, disability not counting.

When I was pg w/my first child, dh and I agreed that I would become a SAHM. I gave up a career that I hated, anyway. The plan was that when the kids were in elementary school I would go to school and finish my education in order to have the career I really wanted. Sadly, that plan was quickly derailed when I became ill while the kids were pre-schoolers. Now I'm primarily bed ridden(well, recliner during the day). Dh and I were just talking about how he'd planned to retire in a couple of years and I would have had a blossoming career in my chosen field, by now. It's truly sad.

Though I can't work or volunteer I think it's vital that everyone even sick and disabled people have a reason to wake up each morning. If you can't work then find a purpose at home. I cook dinner most nights, because that's my way of contributing to my family in a physical way. I often save all of my energy for that task. It's not much of a life, but I do the best that I can by keeping my friendships alive and being very present for my kids. Having a sense of humor is the key, as well. Everyone needs purpose even if that is just making dinner or being there for a friend in need. I need to find the key to feeling emotionally healthy despite my physical health.

I don't judge, because you never know a person's situation. To talk to me or to look at me you'd think I was perfectly healthy and wonder why I don't work. Do not judge a book by it's cover.

Yes, my sister needs to hear this. Even volunteering in the local senior homes would be a start. She has lived with me for 5 years and never worked a day in that time. Nor volunteered much. She doesn't leave often because she has no job/car or life. Makes me insane! She's 55 and has no skills. Ugh. She may have some mental illness going on but still, just being out would do her some good. She seemed perfectly able to cohort with her ex husband a couple years ago. Would go to his place on the weekends. (I loved that). She seems very able to do the things she wants to do but can't get out to even volunteer. Ugh.

depression and anxiety are REAL illnesses that need to be treated by doctors and medication -yes there are lifestyle changes that can help just as with other diseases but just changing your lifestyle rarely if EVER will treat let alone cure depression or anxiety.

let's compare with diabetes - some folks have a very mild (early) form of type 2 that if they make some diet and exercise changes, they can get their blood glucose under control. But most people need to take medication and/or insulin to control type 2 diabetes and ALL people with type 1 diabetes need to take insulin. There is no amount of lifestyle change that will keep a person with type 1 diabetes from DYING without insulin. And no one in their right mind would tell a type 1 diabetic to just eat better and exercise more and you'll be fine.

Same with depression and anxiety - some folks have a very mild form of depression or anxiety that will indeed respond to lowering stress or other lifestyle changes. But people with severe anxiety, clinical depression, bipolar...NEED medication to control it - it's a chemical imbalance that can't be fixed by getting out their own head and stopping focusing on themselves.

I'm one of the REALLY lucky ones with bipolar. For the most part, I can manage it without medication at the moment. I haven't always been able to - and there have been times when even WITH medication, it wasn't well-controlled. But it's been over 25 years since my diagnosis and probably 30+ since its onset - I've only been medication free for the past 5 or so years and my family members are well-versed in what to watch for (as am I - but it's harder to recognise symptoms in yourself early on...and later on, the disease itself makes it harder) and we're all well-aware that I'll probably relapse again in the future and need medication again. YES I've made lifestyle changes to help with my disease - those have included diet, exercise, lowering stress, and avoiding sleep deprivation. But I have to be careful - last time I went back to work, it triggered a depressive episode so severe that if there had been a bed available in the local mental hospital, I would have been admitted. As it was, I spent 48 hrs under observation in an ER.

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