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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 30, 2016 23:58:47 GMT
This is so inappropriate I'd be making a complaint. No way would my child have to deal with this kind of harassment.
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Post by scrappychick on Jul 30, 2016 23:59:23 GMT
I am writing an email to the general manager of the theater. My son does not want me to move into what he calls my "Mother Bear" mode, but I think that in this situation that I really have to. He thinks that this is just one of those things that he has to tolerate in the name of customer service and he is not one to ruffle feathers. However, I am definitely one to ruffle feathers so it is a good thing that he has me for a mother. I am not typically a helicopter parent, but this is too big a concern to just let it go. Thanks everybody for validating my concerns. If you send that email as his mother, your son will be fired. As an adult, your son is perfectly capable of handling those drunk women on his own. What he can do is stop serving them alcohol if they can't control their behavior. "Ladies, I would be prefer not to be sexually harassed while I'm trying to do my job. If you insist on continuing in this manner, then I will have to assume you are too intoxicated to make adult choices. I will not be able to continue serving you alcohol, and I will also be forced to call the police if you plan on driving home." I worked service for years, and yeah sexual harassment sucks. He can and should shut it down as soon as it happens, but if he wants to tolerate the bahavior for the sake of tips, then that's also his choice.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Jul 31, 2016 0:01:06 GMT
Ugh.
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Post by mcscrapper on Jul 31, 2016 0:09:44 GMT
This is 50 Shades of Wrong. We have one of these types of theaters and I've been to several "girls' night out" type of viewings but have never heard other women harass the male serves. How appalling and hearing another woman tell a man in public that she could "suck him dry" is just...well, gross and disrespectful. I'm no prude but that's just low class.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jul 31, 2016 0:13:19 GMT
"I'd like to suck you dry?" Okay. I'm clutching my pearls at that one. Me too, and I don't even have pearls!
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Post by cadoodlebug on Jul 31, 2016 0:20:11 GMT
Sorry, but if any of my friends said something like that to a young man ~ well, suffice it to say we wouldn't be friends any loner. On second thought, I can safely say I don't know ANYONE who would say that. It's disgusting.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,666
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Jul 31, 2016 0:26:32 GMT
Ugh, that is awful.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Jul 31, 2016 1:10:56 GMT
Wow I can't imagine saying stuff like that. I would be so embarrassed if I was out with a group and someone said that I wouldn't want to go out with them again. That is wrong and he shouldn't have to deal with it.
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queenofkings
Full Member
Posts: 283
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:41 GMT
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Post by queenofkings on Jul 31, 2016 1:43:46 GMT
I completely agree with you - it wouldn't be acceptable for men to do it to women and it should not be tolerated for women to do it to men. There should be no double standard.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 31, 2016 2:00:49 GMT
I get why you are upset but please listen to your son.
ETA: I just went back and read that your son is 19. Let him handle it. If it were a 19 year old daughter I'd say the same thing.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 31, 2016 2:13:38 GMT
If he doesn't want to make an issue of this with his boss then he is silently condoning the actions of these women. I would talk to him about the need to stand up for himself and others who have to deal with this behavior. If it means finding a new job so be it. Sexual harassment is against the law. A 19 year old may not have the self assurance to stand up for himself but with his parents and the other employees in his corner he may be able to make changes occur to improve the work environment at the theater for everyone. Good luck!
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Post by LiLi on Jul 31, 2016 2:44:01 GMT
If you send that email as his mother, your son will be fired. As an adult, your son is perfectly capable of handling those drunk women on his own. What he can do is stop serving them alcohol if they can't control their behavior. "Ladies, I would be prefer not to be sexually harassed while I'm trying to do my job. If you insist on continuing in this manner, then I will have to assume you are too intoxicated to make adult choices. I will not be able to continue serving you alcohol, and I will also be forced to call the police if you plan on driving home." I worked service for years, and yeah sexual harassment sucks. He can and should shut it down as soon as it happens, but if he wants to tolerate the bahavior for the sake of tips, then that's also his choice. If he talks that way to customers he is likely to be fired, too. or at least reprimanded. This needs to be reported at the highest level. Management/owners forcing employees to accept sexual harassment is against the law.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 31, 2016 3:14:02 GMT
DH said this is when your son needs to use his good tech skills and get out the GoPro. Record what is happening.
He's 19. Do not write the letter as his mom.
Let him handle it.
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,355
Aug 9, 2014 23:13:22 GMT
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Post by DEX on Jul 31, 2016 3:35:41 GMT
Sexual harassment laws cover vendors, patrons, coworkers and management (in addition to others). No way is this acceptable.
In order to change the sexually charged environment he (and hopefully others) will complain to management with written documentation. If they are not successful in changing the culture then I would encourage them to contact upper management in writing. If they are terminated from their jobs the EEOC (Federal agency) would likely find fault with the company for retaliation.
It sounds like an arduous process but until a formal written complaint is submitted nothing will change. He may be a part time summer employee but all male employees are subject to this behavior throughout the year. He is not a member of the Chippendale dancers so he should not have to put up with this behavior.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 11:02:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2016 3:46:46 GMT
He needs to document everything, including management's lack of action, and continue to report it every time it happens.
If they won't stop it, he could most definitely sue. This is a textbook hostile work environment. An employer is required to protect their employees from harassment, whether by colleagues or customers. They cannot just refuse to act.
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Post by elaine on Jul 31, 2016 3:56:36 GMT
Ick! That behavior - on the part of the women - is disgusting and just plain wrong.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 11:02:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2016 13:44:24 GMT
Let your 19 year old handle it.
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Post by salem on Jul 31, 2016 15:24:33 GMT
He's not a child for Christ's sake. It's not appropriate behavior on the women's' parts, nobody is saying that, but Momma Bear for a 19 year old over this? Back off and let your Adult son deal with it. He needs to learn how to handle drunk stupid big mouthed women and doesn't need Mommy to wipe his butt for him, or he can quit. You send anything to a Manager and that will be decided for him. Guaranteed.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Jul 31, 2016 15:31:31 GMT
He's not a child for Christ's sake. It's not appropriate behavior on the women's' parts, nobody is saying that, but Momma Bear for a 19 year old over this? Back off and let your Adult son deal with it. He needs to learn how to handle drunk stupid big mouthed women and doesn't need Mommy to wipe his butt for him, or he can quit. Be careful...you are sounding a lot like Yubon. FTR...I have already decided to let my son handle this. But thank you for putting your opinion so eloquently.
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Post by salem on Jul 31, 2016 15:56:57 GMT
He's not a child for Christ's sake. It's not appropriate behavior on the women's' parts, nobody is saying that, but Momma Bear for a 19 year old over this? Back off and let your Adult son deal with it. He needs to learn how to handle drunk stupid big mouthed women and doesn't need Mommy to wipe his butt for him, or he can quit. Be careful...you are sounding a lot like Yubon. FTR...I have already decided to let my son handle this. But thank you for putting your opinion so eloquently. Oh, did I not sugarcoat it? Gee, so sorry, but it's the truth. Yubon? Seriously? Nobody's even close to that bitch, but that comment put you right up there with her too. Congrats.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 31, 2016 15:58:21 GMT
My son is 19 years. He is a server at a popular movie grille where they take your food orders and serve you at your seats. They also have a full bar and serve drinks in the theater. Every time a movie comes out like Bad Moms where it is going to a girls night out event...my son and other young men get verbally harassed with sexual innuendoes. Women get drunk and get bold and then say things like "I'd like to suck you dry" and "Oh look, one in every flavor". The management does not see this as an issue. But what if it were a group of men making sexual remarks towards a female employee? My son and his male co-workers are extremely uncomfortable with the behavior of these women. The women travel in packs and feed off of each other's boldness and become very much out of line and inappropriate. I asked my son why a member of management did not hang out in the back of the theater and keep this behavior in line. His response that in the interest of customer service pretty much anything goes. Does it really? Good customer service dictates that your order is taken correctly and politely and that your food is served in a timely manner with a smile on your server's face. It does not dictate that you be allowed to verbally harass young men. It would never be allowed for young women, why is it acceptable for young men? It's NOT acceptable! How awful!!! What a bunch of trashy women. GROSS. SaveSave
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 31, 2016 16:00:04 GMT
I do agree that you should not step in as the parent. At 19, your son needs to handle this. You can totally coach him up on what to say to management (and to these pieces of human garbage who are harassing young men), but he is TOO OLD for you to be emailing his boss.
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Post by worrywart on Jul 31, 2016 16:07:04 GMT
Well, if he does not get any reasonable help from his boss, he needs to contact the district manager or higher up ASAP. The second an incident like this happens the manager should be addressing it with the patrons. omg!!!
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Jul 31, 2016 16:21:23 GMT
but that comment put you right up there with her too. Congrats. I am no where close to her. I have only ever spoken kind words. You could have made your point without being such a B. Other posters had already made that same point with much kinder language than yours.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Jul 31, 2016 16:21:46 GMT
but that comment put you right up there with her too. Congrats. I am no where close to her. I have only ever spoken kind words. You could have made your point without being such a B. Other posters had already made that same point with much kinder language than yours.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,884
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 31, 2016 16:49:15 GMT
That is sexual harassment. Management needs to put a stop to it.
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Post by PEAcan pie on Aug 1, 2016 2:52:25 GMT
WOW... I saw this movie with a bunch of friends and when out to eat after and there is no way anyone in our group would behave this way!!! Totally shocked! Are these older ladies? Where does he work?
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Aug 1, 2016 3:22:58 GMT
I think it's really disgusting for people to behave like this, but, I have literally had comments like this directed at me at every customer service oriented job I've ever had, and it's never been addressed by management, so it's not just a thing that happens to men.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 1, 2016 3:38:13 GMT
Who are these disgusting women? Wow. I've never seen or heard of behavior like this.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 1, 2016 3:41:39 GMT
I am writing an email to the general manager of the theater. My son does not want me to move into what he calls my "Mother Bear" mode, but I think that in this situation that I really have to. He thinks that this is just one of those things that he has to tolerate in the name of customer service and he is not one to ruffle feathers. However, I am definitely one to ruffle feathers so it is a good thing that he has me for a mother. I am not typically a helicopter parent, but this is too big a concern to just let it go. Thanks everybody for validating my concerns. If you send that email as his mother, your son will be fired. As an adult, your son is perfectly capable of handling those drunk women on his own. What he can do is stop serving them alcohol if they can't control their behavior. "Ladies, I would be prefer not to be sexually harassed while I'm trying to do my job. If you insist on continuing in this manner, then I will have to assume you are too intoxicated to make adult choices. I will not be able to continue serving you alcohol, and I will also be forced to call the police if you plan on driving home." I worked service for years, and yeah sexual harassment sucks. He can and should shut it down as soon as it happens, but if he wants to tolerate the bahavior for the sake of tips, then that's also his choice. That's quite a speech. I think he'd as likely be fired for saying that as he would if his mom sent an email.
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