Deleted
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May 3, 2024 4:40:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 22:41:07 GMT
I still refer to my ex's sister as my sister in law. She and I have a solid friends relationship. The divorce hasn't changed that. I still consider her kids to be my niece/nephew and they still call me "aunt" even though they are in their 30s now.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Aug 10, 2016 23:11:39 GMT
I haven't really seen my uncles ex ever since the divorce but once. But if I were to see her again I would still greet her as Aunt.
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Aug 10, 2016 23:12:22 GMT
Yes. My uncle (mom's brother) divorced his first wife when I was 17 or so. I still call her Aunt Sharon, and he's just Roger. The general consensus among my sisters and me, we like her better. And frankly, she was very good to my grandma (her former MIL) when the uncle was not. "Aunt" isn't a high enough title for that woman. Also kind of hilarious.. we live in a giant world. I'm 5'11", my sons are both 6'5", one sister is 5'9".. and Aunt Sharon is 4'11.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Aug 10, 2016 23:25:07 GMT
When I was 14, I had two uncles divorce after 25 and 22 years of marriage. I had the same thought out loud around my two other aunts. My mom is the only girl in the family so all of my aunts were by marriage. My two aunts ripped me a new one. They let me know that those two women had been in the family longer than I and that I darn well better still call them aunt. The women had all known each other since like jr. high. So, my aunts are still aunts. And I got two new aunts too. I'm Facebook friends with the one ex-aunt as are all my cousins. We all still call her Aunt.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 10, 2016 23:36:51 GMT
I think it would depend on the relationship. I didn't see my uncle after he and my aunt divorced. I think most of us referred to him as the asshole. My dad had so many siblings, I was only close with a few of the uncles and the ones I was close with, hadn't been through a divorce. If it had happened, I think I'd still say Aunt.
ETA: I did just remember 3 of my uncles are deceased. One has been gone for over 30 years and I do refer to their widows as my aunts. One remarried and 2 did not. We actually refer to the remarried aunt as saintly or on a mission from God for staying married to my uncle!
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Post by Linda on Aug 11, 2016 0:00:01 GMT
I still don't get the "respect" part of it? It's only respectful if that's actually what they are. If the marriage is over, they are no longer in the family. I think the 'respect' bit is cultural to a degree - in some parts of the country, it's common for close family friends to be titled 'Aunt' or 'Uncle' even when lacking an actual family connection. I know my children call my oldest son's godmother "Aunt" and the title represents her role in our family not her (lack) of blood relationship. Similarly - in some parts of the country, it's considered disrespectful for a younger person to call an older person by their first name - one always uses Mr Firstname or Miss Firstname or a title Pastor John, Aunt Mary, Granny Sue... and often those titles are just what everyone calls that person and Granny Sue might be your cousin's great grandmother and no relation to you at all.
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sweetandsour
Full Member
Posts: 227
Jun 30, 2014 17:43:52 GMT
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Post by sweetandsour on Aug 11, 2016 0:12:16 GMT
In DH's case, his aunt (dad's sister) died and two months later, his uncle married one of DH's first cousins. The cousin was another aunt's daughter. So Uncle Stan became cousin Stan. DH felt it wouldn't be right to call him Uncle when the actual "blood" relation is your cousin.
But otoh, if Uncle Stan hadn't married his cousin, DH says he'd keep calling him Uncle Stan and the new wife by just her name.
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Post by hollymolly on Aug 11, 2016 0:21:26 GMT
I still don't get the "respect" part of it? It's only respectful if that's actually what they are. If the marriage is over, they are no longer in the family. Not addressing the respect aspect, but the no longer in the family statement. My uncle cheated on his wife and then divorced her. She's still part of our family. He is not. He's the blood relative, she joined our family when she married him. We just preferred to keep her instead of him because of his choices. She is very much my aunt. He's still my uncle, but his new wife is not nor will she ever be my aunt.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 11, 2016 0:28:39 GMT
I still don't get the "respect" part of it? It's only respectful if that's actually what they are. If the marriage is over, they are no longer in the family. I think the 'respect' bit is cultural to a degree - in some parts of the country, it's common for close family friends to be titled 'Aunt' or 'Uncle' even when lacking an actual family connection. I know my children call my oldest son's godmother "Aunt" and the title represents her role in our family not her (lack) of blood relationship. Similarly - in some parts of the country, it's considered disrespectful for a younger person to call an older person by their first name - one always uses Mr Firstname or Miss Firstname or a title Pastor John, Aunt Mary, Granny Sue... and often those titles are just what everyone calls that person and Granny Sue might be your cousin's great grandmother and no relation to you at all. Also, if there are children involved that would be cousins between the two families, I think the divorced couple would still be aunt/uncle because the cousins are related. In our family, DD has many non-biological bonus aunts, uncles and grandparents. Her real grandparents are all gone now and we don't see much of our siblings so our friends are the ones she calls auntie, uncle, gramma and grampa.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 11, 2016 0:42:52 GMT
My ex's niece still calls me Aunt Katie. but I never called any of my aunt's Aunt.. just their names.
As long as they are comfortable call them what works for you.
That said I never called my ex's aunt and uncle Aunt or Uncle. I called them David and Jenny. But I referred to them as Aunt Jenny and Uncle David. (btw NEVER Uncle David and Aunt Jenny!!!)
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 11, 2016 0:56:41 GMT
My Aunt and Uncle divorces after 30+ years. I wasn't going to stop calling her by another name. And I certainly wasn't going to call the new bride it. She is younger than me and my cousins.
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Post by austnscrapaddict on Aug 11, 2016 1:12:54 GMT
I see nothing wrong with it. My nieces still call my ex husband their uncle( we were married 19 yrs and this was while they were growing up) It doesn't bother me in the least. I also call my sister's widow my brother-in-law and his now wife my sister-in-law. We spend holidays together, etc. Family doesn't have to be defined in specific ways.
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Post by Zee on Aug 11, 2016 1:22:38 GMT
I still call my ex-aunts "aunt". No hard feelings on my end towards any of them.
I have a large extended family and there are a few exes.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 11, 2016 1:27:58 GMT
Family is so much more than blood and titles. I am much closer to my uncles ex-wife than I am to him. Should I shun her just because they divorced? Hell no.
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Post by KikiPea on Aug 11, 2016 1:35:50 GMT
All I know is, I have an Uncle that has been married 3 times. We don't speak to the Ex's any more, so if I happened to see one of them, I would address them by their first name. I have no connection to them, whatsoever...Just like my loony XSIL.
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Post by MichyM on Aug 11, 2016 1:39:54 GMT
My ex's nieces and nephew (all in their 20's) haven't changed what they call me. About half the time there's an "aunt" in front of my name. Either way is perfectly fine with me.
ETA, we split 3 1/2 years ago after 23 years of marriage, so they've known me as an "official" aunt much longer than not.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 4:40:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2016 1:52:00 GMT
I do not call my aunt's ex husband uncle. But we were not close at all.
Even though I've been divorced from my ex for 13 years now, I still refer to his sisters' kids as nieces and nephew. We weren't close. I did send them birthday cards and a couple Christmas gifts until ex started dating his current gf and she didn't like me being involved with his family at all. I backed off. They're the closest I'll ever get to having nieces or nephews. I sent them money for graduation and I'll send something when they get married. That is if my ex tells me and I can find a way to get a card to them.
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Post by pierkiss on Aug 11, 2016 1:58:03 GMT
My aunt divorced her husband about 20 years ago. But we would still see him when we would come out for big life events. I still called him Uncle Dave, even though he wasn't technically my uncle anymore. They wound up getting back together about 10 years ago. So I can now happily still call him Uncle Dave.
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Post by melanell on Aug 11, 2016 2:11:32 GMT
I think it has a lot to do with the whole family dynamic, the relationship you have with the aunt, if there are cousins, etc.,etc. But both DH & I have a situation like this in our family, and in both cases we still refer to the ex-wife as "aunt".
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audiene
Shy Member
Posts: 48
Feb 2, 2015 22:02:59 GMT
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Post by audiene on Aug 11, 2016 2:27:50 GMT
I would still call them that if you were somewhat close and if they had kids together you are still related by blood.
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,866
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Aug 11, 2016 3:46:24 GMT
I still don't get the "respect" part of it? It's only respectful if that's actually what they are. If the marriage is over, they are no longer in the family. Not addressing the respect aspect, but the no longer in the family statement. My uncle cheated on his wife and then divorced her. She's still part of our family. He is not. He's the blood relative, she joined our family when she married him. We just preferred to keep her instead of him because of his choices. She is very much my aunt. He's still my uncle, but his new wife is not nor will she ever be my aunt. I totally understand keeping the married in person in the family over the blood relative!
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Post by ametallichick on Aug 11, 2016 4:20:26 GMT
My aunt Judy divorced her husband several years before he died and I still referred to him as Uncle Linus.
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Post by elaine on Aug 11, 2016 4:29:28 GMT
I still don't get the "respect" part of it? It's only respectful if that's actually what they are. If the marriage is over, they are no longer in the family. Just because one person decided to divorce the other doesn't negate all the love, care, energy and time they invested in their spouse's family. If one was the recipient of that love, care and attention, that they are no longer married on paper doesn't just eliminate all that came before the divorcee degree. It just isn't that simple - relationships seldom are.
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on Aug 11, 2016 4:31:10 GMT
Yes, he is still my uncle, because he is the father of my 4 first cousins on my mother's side of the family. He didn't want the divorce and according to my aunt, didn't do anything "bad" other than wanted to move back to his home state in the country and she wanted to stay where they lived in a big city area.
He never did get to move back to his home state, remarried a few years later to some one who lived in the same area where they all were when he retired from the military.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Aug 12, 2016 2:54:16 GMT
Yes I do, their partners may have divorced them but I sure didn't.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Aug 12, 2016 3:12:42 GMT
We called my mom's best friend our aunt. They were like sisters. That was enough.
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Gillyflower
Full Member
Posts: 129
Location: QLD, Australia
Jul 16, 2014 12:06:56 GMT
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Post by Gillyflower on Aug 12, 2016 8:55:37 GMT
Yes, and they have been divorced for 30 years. She's still part of the family and included in family events.
Gilly.
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