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Post by jenjie on Sept 4, 2016 4:12:29 GMT
We spent a week in Ocean City, NJ. This was the first time I've spent more than a day at a time since I was 20 years old and I my girlfriend and I went for a week. Dh and I were never big beach people. We would take the kids to the boardwalk a few times each summer to ride the rides. This was my "gotta do something with/for the kids" trip. BIL/sil family was there the same week. We spend a lot of time with them. I found out I like the beach a lot more than I thought. It's much better with a beach chair than a sandy towel. Ds11 loved playing in the ocean but since he's not a strong swimmer, he needed constant supervision. Therefore he didn't get a lot of time out there. Ds18 and dd16 took surf lessons and went parasailing with their cousins. They had a great time! Ds did really well surfing. I'm glad they are out adventuring, trying new things. Living life. Bittersweet though. I hope their dad got a peek.   vimeo.com/181356842  Ds11 loves to mini golf and is getting better. He played 3 games this week. Twice with me. This year I'm noticing him learning to wait his turn so that's a big improvement. We did a mirror maze, that was a lot of fun. If you go, skip the laser maze it is not worth the money. You are in there for like a minute.  He was also surprisingly good at pinball. But by the time he played he was down to his last 3 quarters. We wish we had used the other quarters for pinball too. My niece and her babies came. They are so cute! The almost 2 year old loves the rides. Heck she loves everything. She is the only person I've ever seen actually chase the seagulls because she likes them.  And this is the newbie. She was born in May.  My big kids each had a group of friends come down for the day, which was great. One of dd's friends isn't allowed to go with just friends so I went along. I joked that this was a pic of me and the girls. Notice I am BEHIND them - not in the photo - giving them their space.  In other news, ds11 was evaluated by an occupational therapist the week before we left. He picked up on an issue with sensory processing. Maybe more. He has issues with focus, fine motor, gross motor, personal space, and puts things in his mouth. To name a few. The good news is, he believes he can help. I'm bothered that the neurologist I took him to said he was just "mildly depressed", nothing else wrong with him. I have him seeing my counselor but asked her to let me know if she saw anything else. She saw "something" but wasn't sure what, hence the OT evaluation. She also recommends an eval by a developmental pediatrician. School starts this week, and we are just starting OT next week. I sent his teacher an email and we have an appt to discuss next week. I have a lot on my plate - good, bad and the unknown. Ds16 is giving me a hard time too. I want my husband. I need him. I'm overwhelmed and my heart hurts. We will be ok. Better than ok. But getting there will not be easy. |
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Deleted
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Jun 29, 2024 13:44:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2016 4:22:18 GMT
Aw, jenjie, I'm glad y'all had a nice vacation, but I'm so sorry it's overwhelming right now. I don't have much advice as I've been blue a lot lately, but you're in my thoughts.  I always admire your ability to recognize that these times don't/won't last forever. That's a very healthy thing to be able to do. Save |
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Post by mom on Sept 4, 2016 4:44:53 GMT
Hey jenjie it looks like you guys had a great vacation! You guys made some great memories! Im sorry its hard and overwhelming right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can do this. I am quite certain your Fred was watching all of you while you were on vacation. I am also certain he is proud of you! Keep your head up, girl! |
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,221 
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Post by Peamac on Sept 4, 2016 4:46:24 GMT
Thanks so much for the update! Please be safe with the tropical storm headed your way~ I'm glad you were able to go down the shore before school starts!
(((Hugs))) and prayers for you all.
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Post by jenjie on Sept 4, 2016 4:47:44 GMT
Thank you @ilovecookies mom Peamac. Yesterday was the most perfect weather day ever in the history of weather. We only had a little bit of rain today. |
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Post by jenjie on Sept 4, 2016 4:54:45 GMT
Sil and nieces surprised me with this bracelet. It and the card that came with it were the perfect gift.  One more thing. If you go to ocean city - the best salt water taffy is at Shriver's. Fred and I would go in and pick our favorites. We'd meet at the register with a full bag apiece. He would get the fruit flavors and I'd get the ones that weren't fruit. LOL. This was a "thing" for us. I've been putting off going in but did it this trip. Finally. |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Sept 4, 2016 5:06:01 GMT
Those are some great pictures, looks like the kids had a great time. And the baby drool! I miss holding babies--all my nieces and nephews are big kids now.
Does it feel like all your sweet moments have some bitter to them? And maybe the reverse is true, too. I'm just imagining how I would feel in your shoes. Your kids will be okay. They are adjusting, too. I am sure the occupational therapy will be a big help to your younger DS. My sister is a COTA and they can do some terrific things with people.
One of my friends at church is marking a year this week since his darling wife died. She had cancer...sigh. I am so tired of cancer. He is very sad. But he keeps on putting one foot in front of the other, and that is what you're doing too. And that is so courageous! It really is. You are doing great.
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Post by blarneygirl on Sept 4, 2016 5:24:41 GMT
I'm so happy you and your kids had a wonderful time away and enjoyed the sand and surf! I wish you had your husband to help wade through all of the new and evolving information your are learning about your son. It's hard not having your counterpart for things like this. Hoping and praying for only good things for your son.
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Post by gar on Sept 4, 2016 7:41:22 GMT
They're great photos, thank you for sharing them with us  I would feel pretty overwhelmed in your shoes too...sharing things with our other halves is a comfort in itself isn't it (((hugs))) and of course you miss that  but you can do this (and you don't need me to tell you that!) but you can and you will. We all can see the strength in you even if you doubt it yourself some days ((hugs)) |
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Post by littlefish on Sept 4, 2016 8:40:26 GMT
The beach is always a calming place for me. It helps me remember how big my God is.
I hope you found some pieces of peace there too.
That niece of yours is scrumptious. Love that little smile!
Keep moving friend. 😘
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Post by shescrafty on Sept 4, 2016 10:59:24 GMT
Looks like you had a wonderful trip! I am sure it is hard in a way to do "new things" (at least for us it is) but I am proud of you for taking the kids and giving them new adventures. You are doing a great job!
While I am sorry your DS is struggling, I am so glad you are pushing forward and were able to find someone to help you. I always think knowing is so much better than not knowing, even when it means obstacles ahead. The same obstacles would be there anyway, but now you will be getting a "bag of tricks" that will hopefully help you and your son move through them.
Hugs and love to all of you as you start your new school year!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Sept 4, 2016 11:08:02 GMT
I am so jealous of your time at the beach. Looks like an amazing time.
Keep pushing for your son mama. There is a lot to be said for intuition.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Sept 4, 2016 11:10:53 GMT
Thanks for sharing your pictures as well as your worries. I admire your courage and I know it takes so much energy to keep moving forward. I think of you often.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 4, 2016 11:19:06 GMT
I'm so glad you had such a nice vacation.
I'm sorry your heart is so heavy right now.
You are just so amazingly strong. This too shall pass. You will handle it with grace, as you've handled everything to this point. I'm proud of you.
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Post by KelleeM on Sept 4, 2016 11:28:12 GMT
I'm so happy to read your post. And a little it sad. Mostly really happy for you and your kids. I'm sorry to hear of your little guy's struggles...you're an awesome Mom!
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,370
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Sept 4, 2016 11:53:43 GMT
Great photos, it looks like the kids had a great time. The teen years are tough, much less to be dealing with the loss of your husband, their father, at the same time. I hope you get some answers for your youngest son. Hang in there mama, better days are coming.
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Post by baslp on Sept 4, 2016 12:02:38 GMT
Looks like you and the kids had a great time at the shore. When my son started to push back at 16, I told him that if he wanted the keys to our kingdom also known as the lets to our 3rd car., he needed to do the following behaviors . He did lose the car for a month.once and had to ride the bus to school. He liked to used the car so he towed the line. Take care.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 29, 2024 13:44:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2016 12:40:54 GMT
I'm glad you got to spend time at the beach with your kids and family. I hope it refreshed you and gave you the boost you need to deal with your sons' situations. You (and they) will get through this.
Hugs and prayers, as always.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,754
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Post by purplebee on Sept 4, 2016 12:55:22 GMT
Jenjie, so glad you were able to enjoy the beach with your family, a lovely end to the summer. Thanks for sharing your joy and pain, you are so brave and doing so well in the face of adversity.
Hope the OT helps your son. As mentioned above, that Mama intuition is usually right. Hope you all have a good start to the school year.
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Post by peasapie on Sept 4, 2016 13:09:09 GMT
Wish I had known you were there--I would have come visit you! I'm not too far...looks like you all had a blast. These are beautiful yet difficult days for you. I remember when my son was 16. He turned into a creature I'd never known. By 18 I couldn't wait for him to leave for college. Glad you got some info on your younger son. Sometimes it takes several different doctor visits to find one who can diagnose. Sad, really.
Thinking of you.
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 4, 2016 16:07:03 GMT
Wonderful photos - thanks for sharing! I agree 100% that the beach is way more enjoyable with a beach chair . I'm glad you are getting somewhere with a diagnosis for your son. There is nothing more frustrating than knowing something is off and not getting help. Keep pushing, you are his biggest advocate! {{{hugs}}} |
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Post by SallyPA on Sept 4, 2016 16:15:32 GMT
Thanks for sharing. I'm so proud of you for doing new things and plowing ahead making new memories for your children. Im sorry your son is struggling. Eleven is a difficult age, transitioning towards a teen, and realizing that the world isn't perfect and you may not always be safe and warm like you think as a younger child. Hugs!
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Post by jenjie on Sept 4, 2016 18:20:24 GMT
Looks like you and the kids had a great time at the shore. When my son started to push back at 16, I told him that if he wanted the keys to our kingdom also known as the lets to our 3rd car., he needed to do the following behaviors . He did lose the car for a month.once and had to ride the bus to school. He liked to used the car so he towed the line. Take care. Smart thinking! Too bad mine doesn't even have his permit yet. And he doesn't really go anywhere. It's not really even that. Just some things we need to work through. "You and dad taught me ABC and it was wrong and now this is how I deal with things because of it" I can't even remember if what he remembers is truly what was said or if it is his perception of it. I told him we all get it wrong. Our parents got stuff wrong and we raised our kids differently as a result. Because there is stuff that he feels we did wrong he will raise his kids differently. And it's ok. But if there is something wrong we need to work through it together to unlearn it and find the right way to deal with it. I have people IRL to talk with and help me figure it out. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and wish my husband was here to help carry. To lead. To just be here. |
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Post by jenjie on Sept 4, 2016 18:21:24 GMT
Wish I had known you were there--I would have come visit you! I'm not too far...looks like you all had a blast. These are beautiful yet difficult days for you. I remember when my son was 16. He turned into a creature I'd never known. By 18 I couldn't wait for him to leave for college. Glad you got some info on your younger son. Sometimes it takes several different doctor visits to find one who can diagnose. Sad, really. Thinking of you. I'm only an hour away from OC so if you ever want to meet for coffee or something we could probably make it happen! |
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Sept 4, 2016 20:02:33 GMT
Glad you guys had fun. Stay strong...dealing with teenagers is hard.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Post by caro on Sept 4, 2016 21:55:41 GMT
Those new normals are so very hard. I'm glad you and your kids got away for some fun. Big hugs to you.
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Post by ametallichick on Sept 4, 2016 22:07:28 GMT
I'm so sorry your dh couldn't be there with the family. It looks like you had an amazing time and I think he's looking down on you with pride and love! The pics look great! Id love to go there sometime!
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but you can do this (and you don't need me to tell you that!) but you can and you will. We all can see the strength in you even if you doubt it yourself some days ((hugs))
