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Post by smokeynspike on Sept 18, 2016 2:21:26 GMT
I have a BFF. We've known each other 10 years. We would do anything for each other. However, I have always been the type of girl to have one or two BFFs and a bunch of acquaintances. And that continues to be true. I find that I only have enough energy to do stuff with my husband and teenage child and my BFF. I can't imagine trying to fit more people into my life. And I'm close with my parents too, but they don't live in my state.
Melissa
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,896
Jun 26, 2014 0:30:34 GMT
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Post by finaledition on Sept 18, 2016 3:55:54 GMT
I have to say that the older I get and reflect back on past friendships-is that it takes work. I think a lot of times it requires one person who makes the extra effort to plan things, who is okay with that plan being rejected, and trying again several times. I'm not that person naturally, but I am more now. And if you are more inclusive-cast a wider net-so to speak- you will have much more success.
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Post by eventhinker on Sept 18, 2016 4:04:09 GMT
I have one best friend. Can trust her with anything...we can share everything without having to agree on it.
I met her when I was 7 - we became besties after high school.
We chat online everyday.
I have a couple local friends but sadly, they aren't anyone I trust with the real me. Maybe they think I keep them at a distance; whatever the reason, it works for me most of the time
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 18, 2016 4:04:57 GMT
I have to say that the older I get and reflect back on past friendships-is that it takes work. I think a lot of times it requires one person who makes the extra effort to plan things, who is okay with that plan being rejected, and trying again several times. This is so true in my life. I have several friends that I stay in touch with and do things with regularly. That's happened because *I* make it happen. I don't wait for them to call me or plan things, they are all busy with young children and it just wouldn't happen. I'm single and have more free time so I tend to plan activities and invite them. Sometimes it works out that we have to reschedule and while it's disappointing I just have to let it go and realize it's ok. Besides those several friends I have one bestie that has been my bestie since we were 10. She and I can go months without talking and pick up right where we left off. She invites me (well she did before she moved states away) to equally as many things as I invite her to. We both make an effort to keep the friendship alive and I truly think that is one of the main reasons we have been friends for so long.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 18, 2016 4:07:03 GMT
I have four ladies I can count on through thick and thin. Everyone is busy with life, but we all enjoy each other so much. One has been around for 28 years. She's my hide the body friend. The other three would drive the get away car. I don't have sisters or close cousins, so developing friendships and keeping them is very important to me. I really try not to worry about who sets things up or who texted last and who bought what for Christmas. I just try to cultivate love and understanding (and they are all really normal girls, so that is usually easy). My personality can be a bit over the top at times, so I appreciate that these ladies love me for that too.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 18, 2016 4:48:45 GMT
I have many people in my life that I consider "good friends" but I think I have a much different outlook or maybe expectations on adult friendships. I know if I needed something, I could call several people and they'd be more than happy to help with whatever needed. But I don't expect them to help with the day to day...that's what my husband and teen/adult children are for. We're ALL busy with work, family, whatever obligations so while we would certainly help each other out...we're not talking about a mom with a new baby and a couple toddlers who really needs an extra pair of hands. Or maybe we all suck as friends and we're just birds of a feather who have found one another? This is my thinking too. I have friends but we are all busy so I get that we don't always have free time to hang out. I don't take that personally, for me it's just part of life.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,666
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 18, 2016 4:58:42 GMT
I do. I've got an amazing tribe of women and I'm forever grateful.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Member is Online
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Sept 18, 2016 5:03:29 GMT
I have a few cherished friends here where I live. I have a few other cherished friends who live in far-flung places, but we can (and do) pick up where we left off whenever we connect.
I also have some "situational" friendships with other moms, colleagues, etc. - these are people I can count on in this season of my life, but I don't necessarily expect that our friendship would survive a change in situation (change of job, change of school for the kids). I value these relationships highly, but I don't let it all hang out like I would with my longtime friends.
What is lacking in my life are "couple friends" with whom DH and I can hang out. We have one couple who are longtime friends - I guess it's laziness that keeps us from getting together so often. And I have a friend from work whose husband is in the same line of business as DH, so we enjoy being a foursome. My girlfriend social life is robust enough, but I'd like to socialize more with DH.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 20:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2016 5:14:40 GMT
I know it's been discussed before...but how many of you really "know " you've got great girl friends? I wish I could say I did. I do not have that little group of besties. And I hate that I dont. I have 2 "fair weather friends " who come around occasionally, when they feel they have time I guess. One girl friend I know would be there if I needed her but don't see each other much. I hate that I dont have a few I can call up to vent to, go shop with, etc. I'm closer to the women I work with, been there almost 2 years, they are all at least 15 yrs older than me (I'm 42) and I think it's hard to make new friends as this point to Maybe I'm just cranky since I'm still recovering from my shoulder surgery (which is what made me notice how few people have "checked on me") and feeling sorry for myself. Guess I just needed a mini vent.... Turn the tables... in the past how many people have you called to "check up on"? Or do you assume their family is handling everything and if you call it will be an inconvenience for them so you don't call? I've noticed women who have a group of besties put a LOT of time and effort into creating the relationships. They open their homes as a place to hang out (with kids if everyone is still in the kid years) they plan get together, coordinate the shopping trips, lunches, whatever.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 20:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2016 5:16:35 GMT
I do. I've got an amazing tribe of women and I'm forever grateful. I know from things you've posted here, you put a huge amount of effort into creating and maintaining your tribe too! It didn't just happen. You've worked your tail off to find the women and pull them together in ways they benefit from the relationship too.
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Post by whipea on Sept 18, 2016 13:58:20 GMT
No female friends but I do have a good male friend. We work and travel together and will sometimes go clothes shopping or out to eat but mostly just hang out. We are both married so my husband often joins us except for the shopping and is friendly with him and they do things together too.
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
Jun 26, 2014 3:33:18 GMT
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Sept 18, 2016 15:10:20 GMT
I am blessed. I have a group of four and then two who are besties but not in the same group. I could call on any of them at any time.
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