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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 11, 2016 17:31:26 GMT
DH is changing careers and going to drive a truck (he's already licensed and trained). He did it once when we were separated a few years ago but didn't like it. But we were in a different situation. He is now a body mechanic and it's getting tough on him..lots of heavy lifting, etc. I am fully on-board as I don't mind being alone. My schedule is so flexible that it isn't an issue if our 8 year old is sick or needs me for activities. In fact, dh and I probably would get along better with distance between times.. lol...but anyone have any experience???
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Post by gale w on Oct 11, 2016 17:50:40 GMT
My ex was a truck driver. We were together for about 6 yrs. He drove cross-country so he was gone all week and home only on the weekends. It was lonely at first but I got used to it, and when he was home more he got on my nerves. I guess I got too used to being alone.
eta: this was in the late 80's, early 90's and neither of us had a cell phone or anything. So it's probably a lot easier nowadays with cell phones and texting and stuff.
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Post by mimi3566 on Oct 11, 2016 17:54:57 GMT
My dh spent his career as a truck driver. He made a good living, and has had several different types of driving jobs....some OTR and some more along the lines of a route driver where he would be home daily or every couple of days.
I got use to it and so did the kids and like you, I don't mind being home alone.
The cons are he missed out on a lot of activities being gone as there is not much flexibility. The other con is I got so use to being independent that I had a hard time adjusting to him being home...(he's semi-retired now and no longer drives). We've worked past that now, but there are days I miss having the house to myself....especially on a day off from my work.
The pro is he made good money and I had time to myself.
My dh said if he could turn the clock back he wouldn't have become a driver, but instead, learned the dispatching, logistics, etc...side of the truck driving industry. Which is what he's learning to do now, hence the semi-retirement.
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Post by gypsymama on Oct 11, 2016 18:53:02 GMT
my dh has been a truck driver for 36 years... all his OTR years were before we met so I haven't had to deal with that at all... according to him and my truck driving stepson, the days of making good money are long gone, but they both suck at saving money or making do with less so factor that in!! they both drive dump trucks for a quarry now... previously dh drove concrete mixers among other things. he got his hazmat last year so he can haul heating oil and propane in case of winter layoffs in construction.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 11, 2016 18:56:47 GMT
Good point on him coming home to your routine. I'll have to keep that in mind. We talked about missing activities and such but we don't have "that" much that we are doing. He did get to sit through DD softball games and that is coming to an end and we don't have much during winter. We discussed holidays and we will make whatever dates work out for us... so if we have to celebrate xmas a week early so be it. Or Thanksgiving... the girls and I can hit up movies or something on the actual days.
I should mention about trying out the dispatching part of it...not sure if he thought about that or not.
At this point he's been off work for a month due to a minor injury and he needs to get back to work and his current employer is dragging their feet..I don't think they are too anxious for him to come back if he isn't 100%.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 11, 2016 18:59:17 GMT
my dh has been a truck driver for 36 years... all his OTR years were before we met so I haven't had to deal with that at all... according to him and my truck driving stepson, the days of making good money are long gone, but they both suck at saving money or making do with less so factor that in!! they both drive dump trucks for a quarry now... previously dh drove concrete mixers among other things. he got his hazmat last year so he can haul heating oil and propane in case of winter layoffs in construction. Yeah we understand the days of making big bucks is gone. But we think it should pay better than what he is doing now. Keeping fingers crossed. |
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Post by gale w on Oct 11, 2016 19:50:23 GMT
When I was with my ex we didn't have any kids, but I had no family in the area and didn't know many people. I had just moved from California to Indiana. So I was spending holidays completely alone. I had a dog and cat to keep me company, at least.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 11, 2016 20:09:13 GMT
When I was with my ex we didn't have any kids, but I had no family in the area and didn't know many people. I had just moved from California to Indiana. So I was spending holidays completely alone. I had a dog and cat to keep me company, at least. Now that would suck. I have lots to do and some family here as well as DH family (which it's fine if I don't see them much...lol) But otherwise between my girls and crafts and reading and TV.. I will be just grand..lol...except lawn mowing...which I will hire out next year to some kid who wants a job. :0) |
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Post by Linda on Oct 11, 2016 20:22:20 GMT
I think there's a big difference between long-distance truckers who are gone for a week or more at a time and those who drive in-state and are home every night (or almost). The latter is MUCH easier on families.
I'm not a trucker's wife - my late BIL was a trucker (he did both long-distance and local/in-state) and my best friend's DH is a trucker as well -he did long-distance in the past and now works for a local firm that keeps him in state. Either way - it's long, lonely hours
My uncle was also a trucker - long-distance mostly. He liked it but he went into trucking from fishing so used to long hours and difficult conditions.
I will say that there seems to be a lot of divorce among truckers. BIL had 4 divorces, Uncle had 2. My friend and her DH are still happily on their first marriage but I know he's said that there's a lot of 'opportunities' out there for men who aren't as committed as he is.
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queenofkings
Full Member
Posts: 283
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:41 GMT
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Post by queenofkings on Oct 11, 2016 20:48:46 GMT
My DH has done OTR for our whole marriage. We've been married almost 17 years. The age of cell phones/technology has definitely been a plus as we talk to each other multiple times a day and we could "facetime" if we want. He's home on weekends and we plan our lives accordingly. It's hard to make advance plans and a lot of people don't "get" our life. I have a Mon-Fri 8-5 job in order to be there for the kids. We both tend to be loners, so the being apart is not as bad for us as for people that are needier. It's just what we are used to, so I don't see it as any harder than anyone else's life. It wouldn't be a lot different for me if he worked a 3rd shift job or did a job where he traveled for business. It pays very well compared to what he would make doing ANYTHING he would be qualified for and be home every day in our area. We make a very decent income for the area of the country we live in. He does not drive for a national comoany, but a local, independent company and I believe that makes a huge difference.
I'd say it helps a ton to be fairly independent person and to be flexible about plans and schedules.
For him, yes, it can be lonely sometimes. That cell phone is his lifeline. You have to put extra thought into his diet unless he wants to be eating fast food until he's sick to death of it.
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Post by leannec on Oct 11, 2016 20:51:51 GMT
My dh worked for Gordon Food Services for many years as a truck driver ... it was a job where you could still come home every night  It did mean that he was gone really early in the morning and was home late so I was home with our baby alone for a lot of that time ... when I went back to work she had to go into daycare ... The hours were long but the pay was worth it ... they are a pretty good company to work for so look into it if they have a branch in your area  |
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my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206 
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
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Post by my3freaks on Oct 12, 2016 2:32:47 GMT
My Dad was a truck driver, mostly OTR while I was growing up. My Mom had her hands full taking care of my brother and I and working full time as a nurse. I'm sure it was much harder on her than it was on us. My Dad devoted all the time that he was at home to us. He was at all our weekend sport games, did things that needed to be done around the house, or to cars, etc...I really don't remember it negatively at all. I bet it's so much easier on families now though to stay in touch! Good luck to you guys.
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kate
Drama Llama
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Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Oct 12, 2016 2:58:49 GMT
My friend's DH started long-haul work when their baby was about 3. He was gone for up to 3 weeks at a time. The marriage didn't survive - she and the child got too used to being on their own, and it became a "disruption" when he was home.
For them, it was a big change because he'd worked seasonal construction and then was unemployed for a long time - they were used to having him at home most of the time before he started long hauls.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 12, 2016 14:25:12 GMT
Thanks for all the replies. I think it will work for us. I mean only my paycheck isn't going to work for much longer before I flip a lid!! He's done the night shift before and it worked fine for us..it took adjusting when he was home in his off time. We are giving it six months and see how it goes. Maybe if it doesn't he can find a local place to drive.
I am going to set my sights up on scrapping again so I am looking forward to that. Maybe even get some friends back into it! We can hunker down at my house and not have to worry about our men!! lol
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Post by mimi3566 on Oct 12, 2016 14:46:48 GMT
My dh worked for Gordon Food Services for many years as a truck driver ... it was a job where you could still come home every night It did mean that he was gone really early in the morning and was home late so I was home with our baby alone for a lot of that time ... when I went back to work she had to go into daycare ... The hours were long but the pay was worth it ... they are a pretty good company to work for so look into it if they have a branch in your area My dh did food service delivery for many years too....he too worked long hours but was home most nights, but he didn't have much time home before he had to go to bed because 3am rolled around very quickly. He is now paying for price for all of those years....it took it's toll on him physically...lifting those heavy cases of food, up and down the ramp supporting a heavy 2 wheel hand truck and lack of sleep. He's 60 now and has physical ailments (bad back and bad knees) that he can no longer do this type of work which is why he's learning the dispatch/broker side of the trucking industry. His struggle is the technical side...software/programs...because he's been on the driving side for so long, he's got a higher learning curve and at 60 it's difficult to get a job without strong computer skills these days. He's been teaching himself to type and Excel. He is an Uber driver now to supplement our income which affords him the flexibility to learn some of the computer skills at home. He has admitted that he wished he had gotten into dispatching/logistics many years ago. |
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Post by my2apps2 on Oct 12, 2016 15:18:58 GMT
My DH has been a truck driver for most of our marriage. He is regional, but drives at night, so he is home daily but sleeping. It has presented some challenges, but he makes a very good living and aside from the mountain driving in the winter that keeps me up and worrying, he loves his job and our family has become so used to his schedule that it would be odd to us if he had a day job. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 12, 2016 15:38:50 GMT
My DH has been a truck driver for most of our marriage. He is regional, but drives at night, so he is home daily but sleeping. It has presented some challenges, but he makes a very good living and aside from the mountain driving in the winter that keeps me up and worrying, he loves his job and our family has become so used to his schedule that it would be odd to us if he had a day job. It's funny DH doesn't mind where he goes except New York City. The company he is signing on with doesn't go there so he is good. But he would rather drive in the mountains than NYC. (I would agree, I think NYC would be a nightmare!) |
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Post by mlynn on Oct 12, 2016 19:01:57 GMT
I have worked at a broker and at a hauling company. I have friends who have driven truck.
At the hauling company, there were long-haul guys and short trip guys who were home every night. The short haul guys made MUCH MUCH more money.
One of my truck driving friends was in it for quite some time. His back was totally destroyed. Another friend was in it a while but he needs people and truck driving is very isolated
You have to work up to the "good" loads. When you start out, you tend to get the loads that you have to loan and unload yourself.
As I recall, drivers get dinged for EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. If you are driving in NYC and thieves offload product, your problem.
My long-term driving friend drove for Mayflower. They kept their drivers far away from home. They did not want to drivers tempted to bolt for home when they got near. He was usually on the East Coast or the middle states. (We are in WA state)
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Post by shelby on Oct 12, 2016 19:34:35 GMT
My xsil was a long haul driver. It was good for them for a couple of years but his routes kept getting longer and he was most often gone for three weeks at a time. When he did come home it was only for a couple of days and then he was gone again for a long time. My daughter did well being alone with her little ones but felt housebound so much of the time and longed to go out for dinner or a show when he was home. He was tired of eating out all the time and just wanted to stay at home and watch TV. Also he was so used to being alone in the truck for days on end not talking to anyone, he had a hard time carrying on a conversation when he was home. Their marriage just couldn't make it. We loved him very much and it broke our hearts to see this happen. He passed away short time after their divorce. We miss him.
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Post by my2apps2 on Oct 13, 2016 14:39:47 GMT
My DH has been a truck driver for most of our marriage. He is regional, but drives at night, so he is home daily but sleeping. It has presented some challenges, but he makes a very good living and aside from the mountain driving in the winter that keeps me up and worrying, he loves his job and our family has become so used to his schedule that it would be odd to us if he had a day job. It's funny DH doesn't mind where he goes except New York City. The company he is signing on with doesn't go there so he is good. But he would rather drive in the mountains than NYC. (I would agree, I think NYC would be a nightmare!) My DH would much rather tackle a snowy mountain than drive in traffic. I can't imagine how awful it would be to drive a semi through NYC! We were recently in Washington DC visiting our son who is stationed there, and DH said "They couldn't pay me enough to drive a rig in this town." I'm certain NYC would be much worse! |
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