Mary Kay Lady
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 2:28:47 GMT
First you need to figure out why a rv makes you think twice. That alone tells me more about you than them. People choose to live in RVs for many reasons. Some of them are nicer than my house! Some live in them because they split time between two (or more) locations. For some, it's temporary due to short term jobs, housing, or a lifestyle. Doesn't make them bad people. DH and I had talked about giving up all property and splitting time between two areas and living in a RV after the boys are out on their own. It's one of three possible plans we have. We're middle class, law abiding people. I agree with you that most RVs are very nice. And indeed, this one is. I'll tell you what it is about this family living in an RV that bothers me. In the city where I live there is a group of people referred to as "The Travellers." They are like modern day gypsies. They usually live in RVs and live here usually through the winter because the weather is pleasant. They are often in labor or construction type of work. When they do jobs, the work is inferior. When they go into stores or restaurants they often steal. Generally speaking, they are trouble makers. They are well known by the police. This family has all the earmarks of belonging to The Travellers. I did agree to babysit tonight and again on Sunday. I'll see about Sunday after tonight. All of the other families that I've ever babysat for have lived in a house. I understand that some people may have reasons for living in an RV, but given the history in my part of the city with The Travellers, I think my concern is founded. Whenever I babysit for a family I always do a Google search on their address. I want to know what kind of neighborhood I'm potentially going to. Given the kind of world we live in I think that's a good practice. And for the record, I also do the same when I go to see a new client for my Mary Kay business. I don't want to put myself in a potentially harmful situation. Thus far, the precautions I've taken have served me well, as I haven't had any problems.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 3:00:20 GMT
is it just the RV thing, or are there other signs you aren't communicating to us? because I can't figure out when living in an RV became something so creepy? I've known several people who did it, sometimes for a year+: while their houses were being rebuilt from a fire, because they couldn't find a new home after a job transfer, because someone was transferred and the rest of the family couldn't join them yet, they weren't sure they were going to be staying in the area, etc. there are so many reasons, and I don't think you'd be out of place to ask "so, how did you choose the RV lifestyle?" and find out what theirs is. really.. it's not THAT strange and you wouldn't think the same of someone living in a trailer, right? and it's hardly a shack where the kids are in danger. You're right, this RV isn't a shack. It's nice and she's keeping it clean. I have a friend who lived in an RV on some land that she and her DH bought while their house was being built. It's not just the RV thing. I don't know if you've read the update I put in the OP, but that explains a lot of it.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 3:06:16 GMT
Having an RV, I can't imagine why it would be a problem. Is it a Class A, Class C, a Fiver? People live in their RV's for all sorts of reasons. Taking a temporary job is one. Following the sun is another. Going 'Tiny' is currently popular. I have no idea what those terms mean! LOL! This is a 2 bedroom, but the second bedroom is TINY! Both sides slide out to create more space.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 3:10:51 GMT
I'm not sure whether this post should offend me or amuse me. We have been RV/Camping people for most of our married lives...30 years. We currently own an RV lot on the gulf coast of Texas right on the beach and leave a 5th wheel down there year round to spend weekends when we can. Our RV is very nice but we are the poor kids in the hood. Most of the other owners are retired and live part-time/full-time in motor homes that cost roughly $250,000 to $400,000. I can't even imagine...but I would like to try it. RVs these days are VERY nice. I like to joke that our RV is nicer than our house but the truth is...it really is! I know a lot of people who live in their RV while they are building a home. I know people who travel for work and it's easier to have a home that travels with them. I know people who are semi retired and people who are fully retired who like to move around for the seasons. If someone works from home, they often travel around as it doesn't matter where they are physically. I have met people in our park who take their RV down to the beach and rent a lot for the summer for mom and the kids. Dad goes home and works all week while Mom and the kids stay in the RV at the beach and Dad joins them on weekends or whenever he can. When we bought our last RV, the sales man told us that they had been crazy busy selling to people from other parts of the country who were having economic hard times and they came to Texas to work. An RV was a better alternative than buying a house as they didn't intend to stay here after they got back on their feet and things got better at home. It's very popular to live in an RV in the oil fields around here. In all of our many years of camping, I have found RV/Camping people to be mostly good, honest and decent people. Yes, when it's time to pull the RV out it takes at least an hour to prep it. You don't just "drive away". So, I think there must be more to this situation. I do think one should trust their gut, but if the only reason you are hesitant is because they live in an RV, I think you should at least check it out. It's not that unusual anymore. Thanks for your perspective. No, it's not just the RV that is causing my concerns. I realize that most RVs cost more than my house. I've updated the OP to explain some of my concerns.
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61redhead
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Jun 28, 2014 11:27:52 GMT
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Post by 61redhead on Oct 15, 2016 3:30:41 GMT
If they are Travelers, make sure you get paid up front -- and in cash! There is a fairly large community of them in my town, where the police have just completed a very long investigation. 22 were brought up on charges of tax evasion, welfare fraud, insurance fraud, etc, etc. Some of the families have had children removed from their homes. I drive past some of the homes every day. There are signs in the yards all up and down the highway -- "free our kids", "legal kidnapping", "make DSS release our kids", etc. They were marrying the young girls off so young that the county finally passed a law that says you can't get married under the age of 14 even with parental consent!
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 15, 2016 4:16:01 GMT
Go with your gut. If you aren't feeling safe or comfortable then don't babysit on Sunday. Also, if you think the 2 year old is being malnourished or mistreated be his/her advocate.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 5:05:42 GMT
If they are Travelers, make sure you get paid up front -- and in cash! There is a fairly large community of them in my town, where the police have just completed a very long investigation. 22 were brought up on charges of tax evasion, welfare fraud, insurance fraud, etc, etc. Some of the families have had children removed from their homes. I drive past some of the homes every day. There are signs in the yards all up and down the highway -- "free our kids", "legal kidnapping", "make DSS release our kids", etc. They were marrying the young girls off so young that the county finally passed a law that says you can't get married under the age of 14 even with parental consent! It's interesting that you're in South Carolina and you're familiar with them. I had no idea they were in the Carolina's as well. She did pay me in cash the amount we agreed upon. The little boy seems well taken care of and is well behaved, so I think I'll go back on Sunday and see what the husband is like. He wasn't there this evening. I've heard that Travelers tend to inter-marry and marry young. Usually the girls aren't educated beyond middle school. As long as I feel safe, which I did, I think I'll continue to babysit for her. But I'll certainly be keeping my eyes and ears open.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 5:17:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2016 5:19:17 GMT
The Travellers are not just in Texas. I'm pretty sure I saw a Dateline type show about them years and years ago. Wikipedia says there are clusters of them in several States, and says the largest group in the U.S. is in North Augusta, SC.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 15, 2016 7:27:22 GMT
The Travellers are not just in Texas. I'm pretty sure I saw a Dateline type show about them years and years ago. Wikipedia says there are clusters of them in several States, and says the largest group in the U.S. is in North Augusta, SC. Interesting. I had no idea. I lived in northern Illinois until I was in my mid 20s and had never heard of them there. I've lived in Texas for over 30 years and have heard about them for about the past 10 or so years.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 15, 2016 10:35:33 GMT
We live near enough to the North Augusta travelers to be familiar with them. That makes me question whether the people who contacted you about babysitting are actually travelers as they typically are very insular and don't allow "outsiders" into their world.
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Post by KB on Oct 15, 2016 11:21:52 GMT
We live near enough to the North Augusta travelers to be familiar with them. That makes me question whether the people who contacted you about babysitting are actually travelers as they typically are very insular and don't allow "outsiders" into their world.
I was just going to type this spongemom Scrappants Always go with your gut, but do not rush to judgment I'm sure there is a reason for the unused kitchen but I'm super curious! On the milk, my son never liked it. I didn't worry too much about it because I knew he was getting those nutrients in other foods. When I was a teen, I craved milk so much my parents could not keep it in the house without me drinking it. Now it makes me gag to think about drinking it.
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Post by melanell on Oct 15, 2016 12:15:21 GMT
I wouldn't think a thing of the milk, either. There are several reasons that come to mind immediately why people wouldn't have any around. Vegans, lactose intolerant, or they simply don't like it. There were many years in which I'd buy a half gallon of milk at the beginning of the week, and not only would it last us the entire week, but sometimes it would go bad before we'd finish it. We're just not milk people. Not one of us drinks it, and my kids didn't drink it when they were small, either. We drink water about 99.9% of the time. The only reason we use it up more quickly now is that my kids are in a "cold cereal is the world's best snack" phase. But I certainly agree with everyone else in that, no matter what the situation, one should always go with their gut.
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Post by jenjie on Oct 15, 2016 12:23:56 GMT
This is in response to nothing but the kitchen.
#1 we didn't camp a whole lot but tended not to use the oven because it used an awful lot of propane. We used alternate methods - microwave, crock pot, grill.
#2 a guy who went to school with dh married a girl who does not cook. Ever. I don't know if she never learned, isn't a good cook or just doesn't feel like it. But that wasn't a deal breaker for him. They go out for dinner all the time. Golden Corral seems to be a favorite.
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Post by anxiousmom on Oct 15, 2016 12:35:11 GMT
I wouldn't think a thing of the milk, either. There are several reasons that come to mind immediately why people wouldn't have any around. Vegans, lactose intolerant, or they simply don't like it. There were many years in which I'd buy a half gallon of milk at the beginning of the week, and not only would it last us the entire week, but sometimes it would go bad before we'd finish it. We're just not milk people. Not one of us drinks it, and my kids didn't drink it when they were small, either. We drink water about 99.9% of the time. The only reason we use it up more quickly now is that my kids are in a "cold cereal is the world's best snack" phase. But I certainly agree with everyone else in that, no matter what the situation, one should always go with their gut. We weren't a milk family either. I bought it mostly to cook with. Sometimes the kids would eat cereal, but for the most part if I didn't use to cook with, it didn't get used. When the boys were little bitty, our pediatrician said that as long as they were getting the necessary nutrients from other foods, I didn't have to force the issue. He said that getting them into the life-long habit of drinking water instead of milk or juices was a far better thing to do. Even now the boys will drink water but avoid milk like the plague. Of everything to worry about, I think not having milk around is pretty far down on the list. Not sure about the rest of it. I spent a semester living in a borrowed RV in college. Saved me from all kinds of expenses and worked out pretty well.
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Post by anonrefugee on Oct 15, 2016 12:35:31 GMT
That's interesting they could be Travelers, Mary Kay Lady I think 60 minutes did a show eons ago that started my fascination. Maybe they can't afford much food and locked it in their car to keep it away from you, the outsider in their home! Albeit weird to trust someone enough to leave a child and but worry about processions. I'm glad it didn't seem too odd otherwise. Good luck on Sunday.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Oct 15, 2016 13:16:15 GMT
I'm going to 2nd the notion that Travellers are too insulated to employ an outside person to babysit. We were stationed at Ft Gordon in Augusta which was my first experience with Travellers. They don't interact with outsiders, especially the women.
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caro
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Oct 15, 2016 13:51:27 GMT
I'm glad this worked out so far for you. One can never be too cautious when going through the internet for a babysitting job. You are going into a stranger's home. Go with your gut at all times.
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naby64
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Jun 25, 2014 21:44:13 GMT
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Post by naby64 on Oct 15, 2016 14:10:23 GMT
I live in Arkansas and have had Travelers living in a community about 5 miles from me as long as I can remember. AND I am old. LOL I have known some of them in the crafty world and they(women) were as sweet as could be and were all about memory keeping. Now on the other side, the workmanship and those practices were not so good. My kids were at the movies a few yrs ago and several of the younger group(teens) came in. They were loud, rude, disrepectful to mgmt. So they can be very insular and they can be very normal. But I agree, I would want cash and up front.
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Grom Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 0:21:07 GMT
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Post by Grom Pea on Oct 15, 2016 15:12:28 GMT
is it just the RV thing, or are there other signs you aren't communicating to us? because I can't figure out when living in an RV became something so creepy? I've known several people who did it, sometimes for a year+: while their houses were being rebuilt from a fire, because they couldn't find a new home after a job transfer, because someone was transferred and the rest of the family couldn't join them yet, they weren't sure they were going to be staying in the area, etc. there are so many reasons, and I don't think you'd be out of place to ask "so, how did you choose the RV lifestyle?" and find out what theirs is. really.. it's not THAT strange and you wouldn't think the same of someone living in a trailer, right? and it's hardly a shack where the kids are in danger. You're right, this RV isn't a shack. It's nice and she's keeping it clean. I have a friend who lived in an RV on some land that she and her DH bought while their house was being built. It's not just the RV thing. I don't know if you've read the update I put in the OP, but that explains a lot of it. I watched a program on travelers and one of the things that was a huge point of pride was having an immaculate home. I too would want cash up front if I had those suspicions, but as sponge mom pointed out, I don't think they tend to trust outsiders.
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61redhead
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Jun 28, 2014 11:27:52 GMT
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Post by 61redhead on Oct 15, 2016 15:47:25 GMT
The Travellers are not just in Texas. I'm pretty sure I saw a Dateline type show about them years and years ago. Wikipedia says there are clusters of them in several States, and says the largest group in the U.S. is in North Augusta, SC. Yes, I live in N. Augusta, SC. I encounter these people on a daily basis in stores and restaurants. Their homes are huge and ornate. They drive mercedes, lexus and large pickup trucks. You rarely see entire family groups together. The women and children go out to restaurants while the men and older boys travel to "work". They have intermarried for so long that they all look alike. Seriously - you can pick them out by their facial features. The tiny little girls are made up and dressed in party/pageant dresses and heels when they go out to dinner. A group of them frequent the nail salon I go to. They are very insular, but they love getting their nails done! When there is a special occassion, such as a birth, kindergarten graduation, marriage, etc, they set up folding chairs in the front yard and put up banners and balloons and have a stage and such. I have never witnessed an actual event, but have seen the set up many times as I have to drive by their homes every time I come or go from my home. Their neighborhood is built along a major highway through our town.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 15, 2016 16:27:42 GMT
I am late to this thread, but was going to voice the same thing, that a Traveler would not be inviting you into their home to babysit their child. From what I have known of Travelers, and that is from reading and watching documentaries on them, the women must be virgins when they marry and the men are very protective of them. I find it odd that they dress as they do, but in reality, they are a very chaste group of women. I heard a theory on that once that the young girls dress as they do at any large gathering in the hopes of catching a boy's eye, because the available dating options for them are so limited that they want to use any gathering as an opportunity to let themselves be seen "at their best" by the young men in attendance in the hopes of being sought out when they become marrying age. And since they cannot date as we do, and don't really know the person they are marrying, their only real chance to gain a guy's attention is at these big gatherings. These girls are raised to have one ambition in life - marry and own their own trailer. And as stated above, they are very prideful about their homes and keeping them spotless.
The majority of the trouble for an "outsider" from Travelers seems to come when they rent an event for a wedding or party of some type. The men drink a lot and the parties can get wild, with things being damaged in the venue itself. And of course, having them do your roof or driveway or any other type of questionable work on your home. I would not be afraid to be around any Traveler, but I would not hire them to do work on my home because the shoddy workmanship is quite well documented. Outsiders are "marks" for them in business, but again, hiring an outsider to babysit would be extremely odd.
Are these people who asked you to babysit on an extended vacation in the area? Or staying in the motorhome so the family can stay together while the husband works and owning or renting an RV is cheaper than hotels? We had a motorhome that we vacationed in throughout my marriage, and they are pretty expensive to own and drive, especially with today's gas prices.
I would not dismiss a client in a motorhome, but I would absolutely do my due diligence the same way I would on any new person I was working for. And good for you for offering babysitting on the weekends. I know how hard it is to find a decent adult babysitter for most people, unless they have family near them.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2016 17:30:38 GMT
Their homes are huge and ornate. They drive mercedes, lexus and large pickup trucks. You just described 75% of all of north Texas. Seriously though OP - I had no idea that some areas around here had large communities of Travellers. It was interesting reading about what communities they have settled in, etc.
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leeny
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Oct 15, 2016 18:12:52 GMT
I am late to this thread, and wanted to say that my dd babysitting through care.com when she moved to a tourist town. There were times when she ended up going to hotels to watch kids while the parents went out on the town. Her now-dh would go with her to the room, meet the family and then pick her up. Five years later she still watches for the same family when the come to town every couple of months. But just as she did when she answered Craigslist ads, she was careful and always let someone know where she was going.
P.S. I am in California and we have Travellers or another similar group here too providing shoddy driveway paving, painting and other odd jobs and then disappearing with the money.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 15, 2016 18:41:00 GMT
y. ******** 2nd update Wow! This thread has been a real education for me! I had no idea that The Travelers were such a widely known group of people. I just know that in my community they're looked down upon. I know that sounds harsh, but when people are trouble makers, take on work projects and do shoddy work, and are dishonest they earn an unfavorable reputation. The mom told me that they bought the RV because DH is in construction and they thought they'd travel together to his construction jobs and live in the RV. When they got pregnant with their son they decided that it would be better if there was more stability for the baby, so the wife/mom and son stay here and the DH comes back on the weekends if his schedule allows it. I'm not 100% sure she's a part of The Travelers, but I still suspect that she is. I did some additional research last night and found that the RV part where she lives is well know to the police as being a place where Travelers live. It's not a large RV park, maybe 20-30 spots. I can't ask her outright if she's a Traveler, because I'm assuming that she'd deny it. I plan to continue to babysit for her as long as I feel like it's a good situation. I want to be able to come alongside this young mom, regardless if she's a Traveler or not, and provide a safe, responsible adult she can leave her child with so she can have some adult time. What was interesting to me was that I was there twice yesterday and each time someone came to the door to check on her as soon as they realized I was there. The first time it was a neighbor just coming to check on her. The second time a neighbor needed a cup of water heated in the microwave. So regardless if she's a Traveler or not, this seems to be a tight-knit community of people who look out for eachother. While I'm with this little boy I plan to read to him, play with him, love on him and nurture him so that he'll feel loved and safe. After all, that's what this is all about. The little boy. I love your second update! I also find it interesting that this young mom is well watched in this little community. I wonder why none of them have offered to babysit for her. I have been interested in the culture of the Travelers ever since I watched my first show about them. I also realized that I have been terribly guilty of saying something that is a direct slur against them and their lifestyle without realizing it. I have used the word, 'gyp' as in "he gypped me" on occasion and hadn't really made the connection to 'gypsy' at all. I would never intentionally think badly about any group of people and am very much one who looks at each individual and how they treat me and others. When I finally realized the connection, I realized it was as hurtful as saying "jew someone down" and I was horrified that I have used it without compunction. Once I realized what I was really doing, I have made it a mission to educate anyone else, such as my own son (who in fairness undoubtedly picked it up from me!) and others that I hear use the expression and none of them had made the connection either. I was recently reading an article about the amount of suicide that occurs in the Romani culture and how marginalized they are. Now, the scamming of people with shoddy work certainly doesn't do much for their reputation, but due to the fact that they are so frequently discriminated against and looked down upon as a group, and they keep to themselves so much, there has been an increase in suicide among the Romani people. It was interesting and made me realize that I was one who was unintentionally discriminating with the use of the word gyp. SaveSave
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grammanisi
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Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Oct 16, 2016 1:39:28 GMT
I live in northern Indiana and we used to have a large traveler community here, every summer. Years ago one of the women got into trouble with the law for abusing her child in a Kohl's and then in the parking lot and it was caught on tape. That opened up a huge a=can of worms for them and as far as I know they have not been back to our area.
They stayed in campgrounds or rented apartments where a large number of people would live together. They were known for stealing, along with their shoddy work...roofs, siding, driveways.
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