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Post by anniefb on Oct 16, 2016 19:14:31 GMT
Sending hugs to you. You're dealing with so much.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 13, 2024 15:06:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2016 19:41:53 GMT
It is nighttime where I am and I like to go outside and look up into the universe. The stars are so awesome that I realize how small I am and that the universe is unfolding just as it should. (((Hugs))) I like that, I'm going outside to just gaze up for a while and try to forget all the rest.
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Dalia
Junior Member
Posts: 54
Aug 30, 2016 4:43:30 GMT
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Post by Dalia on Oct 16, 2016 19:51:05 GMT
I do, I read so I can escape my reality. I love reading so is a good way for me to get my mind off from my sadness. Hope you feel better soon, hugs.
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Oct 16, 2016 19:54:32 GMT
Sending you a big hug. It's awful to feel that way.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 16, 2016 20:07:30 GMT
With all you have going on, you have every reason to be really sad. In fact, if you weren't sad, I would worry about you if I were a close friend or family member. Just being separated from your spouse is a heavy weight to carry, even if you are the one to initiate it. I am the one who told my ex husband to leave our home, and it was still horribly difficult for me.
I'm sorry your coworkers are saying inappropriate things about your boss. Did they not like him or are they just being smart asses? I should point out that people deal with a death in different ways. I know people who joke about it because it affects them so deeply and their laughter is their defense mechanism. They don't know how to deal with their emotions of such intense sadness and they don't want anyone to see them struggling, so they hide behind laughter. Do you think that is possible for any of the people in your office? Although you said they were being offensive about it. I have no idea what that is about.
It is okay to just accept these feelings right now. You don't have to try to rush them away. Feel all the emotions that go with the many things going on in your life right now. I think once you experience them, they will go away much faster than someone who tries to hide their emotions. Don't feel that there is a timetable as to when you "should" feel differently. It is okay to just be sad.
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uksue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: London
Jun 25, 2014 22:33:20 GMT
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Post by uksue on Oct 16, 2016 20:34:10 GMT
I'm so sorry for your pain OP and luvnlifelady.
Last year was horrible for me and this year hasn't been a lot better . My son and his lovely girlfriend are expecting a baby Nov 1st and that is the only thing that's kept me going really . My ex is still a major f-up who still manages to negatively effect my life financially .
One day at a time- that's the only way I manage to get through the rough ones.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,742
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Oct 16, 2016 21:41:17 GMT
So sorry for all who have sadness in their lives right now.
I lost my best friend/singing partner to an aggressive cancer last month, he was diagnosed and gone in six weeks. I put together the music and sang for his funeral, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Another friend had a recent t bad fall and died from complications, and I tripped and broke my ankle two weeks ago. Plus a lot of other small but unavoidable negative issues have cropped up over the last 10 days. And the election is a complete downer.
I am laid up and not able to work for another two weeks, with lots of time to dwell on things. I walk for exercise which helps to keep my anxiety manageable, and can't do that now.
So I had to make a concerted effort to be conscious and thankful for the good things in my life, Dh, Ds, the beautiful fall weather and the fact that I have lots of sick time accrued, rather than fall into the hole that grief is pulling me towards.
I am reading, trying to pick fiction that is uplifting, and praying a lot, and Dh is taking care of me. I tell myself every day that this too shall pass, but damn, it's hard.
Hugs to everyone going through a bad time.....
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Post by Sam on Oct 16, 2016 21:49:17 GMT
I'm too sad to even cry. My boss died unexpectedly last week. Today was his funeral. I'm not in contact with my family. The election. DH and I being separated. People I work with are already making inappropriate and disrespectful death jokes. The world just seems to be angry. I'm doing all of the things that normally cheer me up. Nothing is working. I'm so melancholy. Do you ever have these moments? YES - and in somewhat similar circumstances to yours. It is OK to feel like that at times, and also OK to sink into it on occasion. Sometimes, it is better to have a 'moment' than to artificially try to manipulate that moment for what you think is the better, IYKWIM.
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Post by mztfied on Oct 16, 2016 21:57:46 GMT
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Post by Really Red on Oct 16, 2016 22:42:23 GMT
I'm so sorry. That is a lot on your plate to handle. I cannot even imagine why adults would make death jokes. It is unfathomable.
This is a tough time of year to go through pain. I hope you are able to find people with whom you are happy.
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Post by gramasue on Oct 17, 2016 0:34:35 GMT
Yes, I have sad days, too. A lot of it has to do with the weather. It seems to bring out those feelings. Today was a gray, wet, miserable day and I felt sad about a lot of things. Hopefully, the sun will shine tomorrow, and you [and I] will feel a bit better.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Oct 17, 2016 2:15:40 GMT
I'm so sorry you are having some sadness in your life.
Yes I have some sad days and I just have to have a good cry sometimes several and try to put stuff in perspective if I can.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 17, 2016 13:20:35 GMT
Thanks for all the well wishes. A tough weekend to be sure, and Saturday night (when I posted) was the worst. You guys really warmed my heart. I had to take a break from everything yesterday and watch Harry Potter, heehee. It helped.
I'm so happy this community is here.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,838
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Oct 17, 2016 13:31:40 GMT
Glad you are feeling better. Sometimes you just need to take a break and tune out everything/everyone.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 17, 2016 13:36:55 GMT
This really helped. A lot.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 17, 2016 21:01:13 GMT
Yes, I have, for far less reasons than you have to feel sad. Sending hugs. Hunker down and hang in there. A book recommendation that might make you laugh: Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. She talks about her depression in a hilarious way. A lot of what she said resonated with me.
OMG, this is on my ever increasing TBR pile. One of the podcasts I listen to read a hilarious quote from it and I was sold! I have to move it up in the pile.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 17, 2016 21:14:12 GMT
With all you have going on, you have every reason to be really sad. In fact, if you weren't sad, I would worry about you if I were a close friend or family member. Just being separated from your spouse is a heavy weight to carry, even if you are the one to initiate it. I am the one who told my ex husband to leave our home, and it was still horribly difficult for me. I'm sorry your coworkers are saying inappropriate things about your boss. Did they not like him or are they just being smart asses? I should point out that people deal with a death in different ways. I know people who joke about it because it affects them so deeply and their laughter is their defense mechanism. They don't know how to deal with their emotions of such intense sadness and they don't want anyone to see them struggling, so they hide behind laughter. Do you think that is possible for any of the people in your office? Although you said they were being offensive about it. I have no idea what that is about. It is okay to just accept these feelings right now. You don't have to try to rush them away. Feel all the emotions that go with the many things going on in your life right now. I think once you experience them, they will go away much faster than someone who tries to hide their emotions. Don't feel that there is a timetable as to when you "should" feel differently. It is okay to just be sad. I would say you're right about dealing with grief in different ways but one of my coworkers riding in the car to the wake insisted that everyone tell a story about a bad experience with my departed boss. My boss was well liked, really highly respected and dedicated to his job. I wasn't there, but most people in the car went along with it. I only know about it (and was horrified) because people came back from the wake having the same discussion. The same person then went around telling people that they were more qualified than my boss anyway, so they should take over his job. This coworker has sour grapes for everyone, but seriously? a dead person?
He wasn't even buried yet.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Oct 17, 2016 22:11:37 GMT
My goodness that is a lot to process at once.
It's absolutely OK for you to be sad!! That is part of the grieving process, and a healthy step in processing everything. Have a good sobbing ugly cry. Then curl up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate, bowl of popcorn and your favorite movie (or Monday Night Football, or whatever you like to watch).
As for the co-employees making jokes? That is absolutely disgusting and I wouldn't worry about holding back on them.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Oct 17, 2016 22:15:50 GMT
With all you have going on, you have every reason to be really sad. In fact, if you weren't sad, I would worry about you if I were a close friend or family member. Just being separated from your spouse is a heavy weight to carry, even if you are the one to initiate it. I am the one who told my ex husband to leave our home, and it was still horribly difficult for me. I'm sorry your coworkers are saying inappropriate things about your boss. Did they not like him or are they just being smart asses? I should point out that people deal with a death in different ways. I know people who joke about it because it affects them so deeply and their laughter is their defense mechanism. They don't know how to deal with their emotions of such intense sadness and they don't want anyone to see them struggling, so they hide behind laughter. Do you think that is possible for any of the people in your office? Although you said they were being offensive about it. I have no idea what that is about. It is okay to just accept these feelings right now. You don't have to try to rush them away. Feel all the emotions that go with the many things going on in your life right now. I think once you experience them, they will go away much faster than someone who tries to hide their emotions. Don't feel that there is a timetable as to when you "should" feel differently. It is okay to just be sad. I would say you're right about dealing with grief in different ways but one of my coworkers riding in the car to the wake insisted that everyone tell a story about a bad experience with my departed boss. My boss was well liked, really highly respected and dedicated to his job. I wasn't there, but most people in the car went along with it. I only know about it (and was horrified) because people came back from the wake having the same discussion. The same person then went around telling people that they were more qualified than my boss anyway, so they should take over his job. This coworker has sour grapes for everyone, but seriously? a dead person?
He wasn't even buried yet.
This is seriously messed up. Do you have an HR or higher management you can report it to? People deserve dignity. Sheesh.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Oct 17, 2016 22:20:17 GMT
Yes, I am there too. DH and I have been separated for 2 months and I'm still reeling when by all accounts, he's doing just fine (the split was his idea). I've been off work for 3 days with major tooth pain so bad it's making my face swell. I finally had the tooth pulled yesterday but I feel awful. Both kids are busy right now but hopefully DD can come over later to help me. My sister lives with me but is leaving for 4 days. Great timing. Ugh. I have school tomorrow night so need to study somehow today and it's getting harder and I can't afford to get behind in a 6 week class. I have all but ignored any election stuff. I love baseball but have not even watched any of the playoff action. I am so sad, not because I miss him so much but realizing all the family relationships on his side and friends that I will no longer have in my life. I am invited to Thanksgiving (just his sister that I am close to and her family along with his parents) but not sure I have the emotional energy to go. The kids want me there so we'll have to see. I just wish this whole thing would go away. I'm supposed to be getting the house ready to sell but it's just one emotional landmine after another since we've been here 11 years. I might end up hiring someone to come in and help. I am dreading the holidays at this point and am semi-glad I will probably be working them. However, I'm off by about 1 p.m., so that leaves the rest of the day to fill. Maybe we'll hit a movie or go out to eat. Ex wants to keep our traditions but I just don't see how that's possible. Hang in there OP-I'm told it will get better at some point. Hugs. My sister found herself grieving the *idea* of marriage and future, than the man himself. I completely understand what you're saying here.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 17, 2016 23:01:31 GMT
I would say you're right about dealing with grief in different ways but one of my coworkers riding in the car to the wake insisted that everyone tell a story about a bad experience with my departed boss. My boss was well liked, really highly respected and dedicated to his job. I wasn't there, but most people in the car went along with it. I only know about it (and was horrified) because people came back from the wake having the same discussion. The same person then went around telling people that they were more qualified than my boss anyway, so they should take over his job. This coworker has sour grapes for everyone, but seriously? a dead person?
He wasn't even buried yet.
That is really pathetic! Even though others went along with what this coworker was doing, I would bet you that a good portion of those people are seeing the coworker for the petty, angry, and jealous little person they are. Who would need to belittle a person that was never going to be coming back to the office? At least you now know what this coworker is made of and know to stay away from there toxic behavior. A person like this has to talk other down to make themselves feel better. They don't see how truly pathetic their conduct is. I'm curious, is there anyone in the office that this person does seem to get along with or speak highly of? SaveSave
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Oct 18, 2016 0:33:41 GMT
I would say you're right about dealing with grief in different ways but one of my coworkers riding in the car to the wake insisted that everyone tell a story about a bad experience with my departed boss. My boss was well liked, really highly respected and dedicated to his job. I wasn't there, but most people in the car went along with it. I only know about it (and was horrified) because people came back from the wake having the same discussion. The same person then went around telling people that they were more qualified than my boss anyway, so they should take over his job. This coworker has sour grapes for everyone, but seriously? a dead person?
He wasn't even buried yet.
That is really pathetic! Even though others went along with what this coworker was doing, I would bet you that a good portion of those people are seeing the coworker for the petty, angry, and jealous little person they are. Who would need to belittle a person that was never going to be coming back to the office? At least you now know what this coworker is made of and know to stay away from there toxic behavior. A person like this has to talk other down to make themselves feel better. They don't see how truly pathetic their conduct is. I'm curious, is there anyone in the office that this person does seem to get along with or speak highly of? SaveSaveNo. Other bosses don't like him (it was the top boss who passed away). A few tried to fire him over the years. But he stuck around like a bad penny. The silver lining is that I'm in a completely different building now so for the most part I don't have to deal with the toxicity that's going around. My boss was 50 with 2 young kids there is no reason for anyone to be anything but sad. Or at least quiet.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Oct 18, 2016 2:38:11 GMT
I do, I read so I can escape my reality. I love reading so is a good way for me to get my mind off from my sadness. Hope you feel better soon, hugs. So true. For me, reading is actually pain management. I don't notice it so much when I read
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