johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 16, 2016 16:31:14 GMT
I recently got a shower invite that is weird to me, maybe I'm getting old fashioned but I just don't get it.
First of all it was email (as was the wedding invite), which I don't mind much for a shower.
It's given by the grooms mother which is a bit unorthodox but not unheard of in this circle/family.
The bride is from another country, the bride and groom (technically already married) live in the US but are half the country away from the grooms family.
Here's the weird part. The invite states that on X date between 1 & 4 then guests should view and purchase a gift from the places the bride and groom are registered (a honeymoon fund and 2 regular stores). No Skype call or virtual meeting place of any kind. Just but a gift (to be shipped to them) at this time. I don't understand why I can't shop today or the day after the "shower".
Is it just me or is this weird?
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Post by elaine on Oct 16, 2016 16:34:01 GMT
I recently got a shower invite that is weird to me, maybe I'm getting old fashioned but I just don't get it. First of all it was email (as was the wedding invite), which I don't mind much for a shower. It's given by the grooms mother which is a bit unorthodox but not unheard of in this circle/family. The bride is from another country, the bride and groom (technically already married) live in the US but are half the country away from the grooms family. Here's the weird part. The invite states that on X date between 1 & 4 then guests should view and purchase a gift from the places the bride and groom are registered (a honeymoon fund and 2 regular stores). No Skype call or virtual meeting place of any kind. Just but a gift (to be shipped to them) at this time. I don't understand why I can't shop today or the day after the "shower". Is it just me or is this weird? Weird and unappealing. |
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leeny
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Location: Northern California
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Oct 16, 2016 16:46:17 GMT
If they are already married, isn't this a wedding gift grab? Is this a family member, friend or ?? Any need to feel like you have to participate in such a thing?
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Post by hop2 on Oct 16, 2016 16:52:17 GMT
I'd be annoyed
My inner whiny pants would come out and I be all 'your not the boss of me, don't tell me when to shop' in my head and I specifically wouldn't buy that day. I wouldn't say anything, wouldn't make a fuss, but if I were going to send a gift I'd send it at my convenience. Actually, if I were inclined to gift already married people, I'd probably send a check lol. Breaking all the rules.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 16, 2016 16:54:15 GMT
If they are already married, isn't this a wedding gift grab? Is this a family member, friend or ?? Any need to feel like you have to participate in such a thing? they got married at the courthouse or something because of a visa issue with her. they're doing a reception (out of state, where they live, I won't attend) in december. it is family. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 16, 2016 16:55:15 GMT
I'd be annoyed My inner whiny pants would come out and I be all 'your not the boss of me, don't tell me when to shop' in my head and I specifically wouldn't buy that day. I wouldn't say anything, wouldn't make a fuss, but if I were going to send a gift I'd send it at my convenience. Actually, if I were inclined to gift already married people, I'd probably send a check lol. Breaking all the rules. I know, right?!?!? That's totally what's going thru my head, but I can be a bitch like that  |
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 16, 2016 16:58:36 GMT
I'm okay with receptions after marriagr, but an after we are matried shower that you aren't actually invited to or can watch online or something?
Not gonna participate in that
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Post by scraphop on Oct 16, 2016 16:59:25 GMT
I received an invite to a virtual baby shower. It was a group invite via Facebook. The soon-to-be Mom is a daughter or granddaughter to a cousin that I have not seen in 25 years. Ummm no thanks....
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Post by christine58 on Oct 16, 2016 17:01:14 GMT
I would not be buying a thing
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Oct 16, 2016 17:03:10 GMT
Will it cause drama for you not to buy a gift?
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 16, 2016 17:05:54 GMT
Will it cause drama for you not to buy a gift? Its like you know my family or something  No doubt it would get eyerolls from some but honestly I don't care much any more. I may or may not buy something, but if I do it will be whenever I get around to it  |
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Post by padresfan619 on Oct 16, 2016 17:08:00 GMT
This sounds more complicated than trying to buy LulaRoe leggings. I am usually pretty forgiving when it comes to showers, but this is ridiculous.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 6:50:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2016 17:08:57 GMT
"Oh darn, too bad I'm busy between those particular hours and won't be able to participate. But I will send good thoughts and wishes into the universe at that exact moment."
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 16, 2016 17:09:19 GMT
Will it cause drama for you not to buy a gift? Its like you know my family or something No doubt it would get eyerolls from some but honestly I don't care much any more. I may or may not buy something, but if I do it will be whenever I get around to it sorry, won't be home during the window, guess I can't buy anything |
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by trollie on Oct 16, 2016 17:10:07 GMT
Weird. Just do whatever you want or whatever you'd normally do in this situation.
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
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Post by joelise on Oct 16, 2016 17:11:19 GMT
Sounds very weird! I'm afraid I'd be very busy on X date between 1 and 4  |
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 16, 2016 17:12:55 GMT
I can't say it better than burningfeather. I wouldn't spend a dime on these greedy and rude people. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 16, 2016 17:19:36 GMT
Whew, so glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is weird.
My family is known to host bizarre showers. I remember when I was a kid a cousin was stationed in Germany and we threw him and his wife-to-be a shower: everyone brought unwrapped gifts (so the guests could oh and ah over them) then wrapped them at the shower, I think we also played the traditional games, had food, etc and video taped it all. the tape was mailed to them with the wrapped gifts.
Now-a-days I would think a Skype shower would be good in this type of situation. As that all gifts be shipped to arrive in advance of the shower, the bride-to-be could open them "on air", games could be played, mingling could happen, yada yada.
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leeny
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Posts: 4,642
Location: Northern California
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Oct 16, 2016 17:25:21 GMT
I'd be annoyed My inner whiny pants would come out and I be all 'your not the boss of me, don't tell me when to shop' in my head and I specifically wouldn't buy that day. I wouldn't say anything, wouldn't make a fuss, but if I were going to send a gift I'd send it at my convenience. Actually, if I were inclined to gift already married people, I'd probably send a check lol. Breaking all the rules. I know, right?!?!? That's totally what's going thru my head, but I can be a bitch like that Seeing as it is family, I would decline the shower and send the gift for the reception. |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 16, 2016 18:03:17 GMT
I'd be annoyed My inner whiny pants would come out and I be all 'your not the boss of me, don't tell me when to shop' in my head and I specifically wouldn't buy that day. I wouldn't say anything, wouldn't make a fuss, but if I were going to send a gift I'd send it at my convenience. Actually, if I were inclined to gift already married people, I'd probably send a check lol. Breaking all the rules. That voice seems to guide me more often than it should. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 16, 2016 18:03:56 GMT
"Oh darn, too bad I'm busy between those particular hours and won't be able to participate. But I will send good thoughts and wishes into the universe at that exact moment." Oh lord, I have to remember this one. I love a snappy reply.  |
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Post by melanell on Oct 16, 2016 18:10:39 GMT
I would feel confused by the email and uninspired to buy something to be a shower gift given the whole situation. A wedding gift is one thing, but a shower gift after the wedding already seems odd to me, even before the weirdness of having to buy something during a specific date range.
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Post by leannec on Oct 16, 2016 18:16:57 GMT
Way too complicated ... if you are not close I wouldn't send a thing  |
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Post by Frazzled Mom on Oct 16, 2016 18:45:43 GMT
I'd be skipping that "event" - way too much of a gift grab for my taste.  |
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on Oct 16, 2016 18:52:29 GMT
Umm, no thanks. I'm getting a pedicure and massage that day during those hours.  |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Oct 16, 2016 18:58:45 GMT
Umm, no thanks. I'm getting a pedicure and massage that day during those hours. Make it a full spa day with a facial, too! Then spend the money for the gift on a new pair of shoes. |
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Post by Rachel on Oct 16, 2016 18:59:24 GMT
Well I don't think this would bother me. It sounds like they're trying to make this shower'fun' for the bride since she's not near the family. So by making your purchase during those hours she is able to 'open' the gifts during the 'shower' rather than just looking at a list any old time. It's different, but I don't have a problem with it.
I also don't have a problem with the shower after the wedding. It's not like a shower was held before the wedding and only certain people were invited. They eloped and now the family wants to celebrate. I'm all for that.
People can get so weird about gift giving. Either you want to celebrate and give a gift or you don't. So either do or don't. Not a big deal.
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Post by chaosisapony on Oct 16, 2016 19:04:27 GMT
Huh, I don't get it. I wouldn't be offended or irritated by it, I just don't see the point. And my gift buying and giving plans wouldn't be altered by their odd request.
I have an old friend that is having her second baby any day now. She was originally going to fly home a couple months back for a visit but she has pre-eclampsia and her doctors wouldn't let her fly. Her sister had been planning her a surprise baby shower for her visit but obviously it had to be cancelled. The sister turned it into a Facebook event and told everyone to log in on the day of the "event" and leave your well wishes to the mom to be and just ship your gift to her. I found that to be strange too but ok, making the best of the situation right? Well on the day of the Facebook shower even not a single member of the family logged in or said anything to the mom to be or the guests. I saw about two people write well wishes, left my own, and never even saw the mom to be say anything. Knowing her, she probably didn't get it and was abhorred that her sister literally wrote "Please ship all gifts to: "
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Post by Tamhugh on Oct 16, 2016 20:36:51 GMT
I am guessing that they think everyone buying gifts at the same time will lead to the gifts also being delivered to the bride at the same time. That way, she will get a delivery of a whole bunch of gifts to open at once, almost like a real shower. A little unconventional, but I can actually see why they are doing it if she is in a new country and not near any family to hold the traditional events for her.
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Dalia
Junior Member
Posts: 54
Aug 30, 2016 4:43:30 GMT
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Post by Dalia on Oct 16, 2016 21:20:38 GMT
I'd pretend I never saw the email and skip participating. In the past I have ignore all email or text invites from family members, now they call or tell me in person.
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