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Post by SunnySmile on Nov 16, 2016 2:14:56 GMT
Tell me your worst or most hilarious Thanksgiving. I hate to find humor in other people's craziness, but I have to admit I love hearing about all the nuts people are related to!
One Thanksgiving my parents were having the WHOLE family over, so we had to bring in more tables and chairs. My dad starting planning out how many chairs were going to fit around the table. First he wanted to push all the tables together so it was one enormous table. Trying to get him to understand that we just wouldn't be able to do it got him going to make it work anyway. He got out his measuring tape and started alotting about 10 inches per person so we could all be at one table. We tried again to get him to understand that this would not work, we'd practically be sitting on each other with no room for elbows or breathing space. We were all cracking up behind his back because he was taking it all so seriously, using a measuring tape, taking notes, doing a math problem or two, getting frustrated and pissed if we tried to help... We finally got him to make an L shaped table where the tables were still connected but allowed much more room per person. Whew! It was really kind of sweet because he wanted us all at one table.
Let's hear yours!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 16, 2016 2:23:30 GMT
My first Thanksgiving in England we had just moved to a new house and it was the first time I was cooking a big meal and we blew a fuse! Luckily it was not a holiday in the UK so the hardware store was open. We got the electricity working again but could not get the plug behind the stove to work and we had to hang a cord across the dining room table.. it was ridiculous but it worked!!  A few years later we were living in the Cayman Islands , new stove and I set the timer to baste the turkey, not realizing that the time turned the oven off. So I basted and then hours went by before I ever realized that the oven was off. So the kids had mac n cheese while we waited for Turkey! |
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,820 
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Post by teddyw on Nov 16, 2016 2:31:04 GMT
Last year I made coconut cream pie and put it under the broiler to brown the meringue. I got sidetracked and the pie caught on fire. So no dessert.
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Post by padresfan619 on Nov 16, 2016 2:31:09 GMT
One year we had Thanksgiving at an extended relative's house where we normally don't go for the holiday. We did potluck style while the host took care of the turkey. The turkey came out and looked great, and while it was resting the sides went in the oven to heat up. The serving platters were all set up buffet style and the turkey was set to carve on the main dining table. My dad was made to carve the turkey and he went to cut into it and it was almost exactly like that scene from Christmas vacation. Obviously not as dramatic, but it was pretty bad. So we had a dry turkey and then you took a bite of a side and they were ice cold. The oven wasn't on when the sides went in. When that same family member invites us to Thanksgiving we extend an invitation to them  |
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 16, 2016 2:39:14 GMT
One year we went to my husband's aunts farmhouse in the freezing cold weather. There were 65 people squished into that house and you couldn't go outside. The food was cold and there were few places to sit and I hated it.
I do remember sitting at the kiddie table when my relatives came. I loved sitting with just kids my age.
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cherrymoon
Junior Member
Posts: 66
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Post by cherrymoon on Nov 16, 2016 2:42:46 GMT
Omg. Ok. I was about 6 years old. My family on my mom's side were getting together to make tamales like we do EVERY YEAR, and I loved it! My grandmother's tamales were soooo good...
Except the sweet ones. They had raisins in them. 😑 So yuck. So gross. And every single year my mom would force me to eat one out of respect for my grandmother.
That year, I threw a bunch of sliced dill pickles (and juice) into the steaming pot of tamales. Nobody opened the pot because...well, the tamales were steaming. 😂 When my aunt opened the lid, she saw a bunch of sliced pickles on the tops of the ruined tamales. I ran and hid inside the shower because I thought they would have known right away that I was the one who did it.
I heard my grandmother's heels clicking to the bathroom, and when she found me, I was spanked twice and scolded. A fresh batch was made, and I ate one because I felt so bad.
They still talk about that. 😂😑
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Nov 16, 2016 2:43:34 GMT
One year, my mom's second oldest sister (mom is youngest of 11) asked to bring turkey. Mom said okay. I was about 13.
Day comes and aunt Teresa brings a turkey in and says it needs to be heated because she cooked it already. My mom goes to put it in the oven and notices that it's stuffed and it has a weird smell.
Mom asks Aunt " when did you cook this?" Aunt replies, "Last night." Mom asks, " when did you stuff it?" Aunt says " yesterday afternoon before I cooked it. Then I remembered I couldn't do that so I removed it and set it on the counter before I cooked it last night" Mom says " How did the stuffing get into the bird then?" My aunt says " I stuffed it this morning."
Turns out, stuffing had sat in the bird, then out all night raw after being taken out of the bird and then she stuffed it back in the cooked bird!
My mom gently told aunt that it most likely had salmonella and we couldn't eat it. It smelled disgusting...and we ended up ordering pizza.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,898
Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Nov 16, 2016 3:21:14 GMT
The year when I was 11 or 12, we had major car trouble on the way to my grandma's house and we realized we were going to be so late in getting there that we would miss dinner. So, at "dinnertime", while we were still waiting for car to be fixed, my dad gave my brother $$ to get us all snacks from the mechanic/gas station (probably from a vending machine)...we ended up eating Slim Jims and chips and soda. :-( Really not sure why my dad let my 10-year old brother make the choices!? Too busy dealing with the car, I guess. But my grandma did save us some dinner when we finally got there -- very late.
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Post by SunnySmile on Nov 16, 2016 4:15:28 GMT
The year when I was 11 or 12, we had major car trouble on the way to my grandma's house and we realized we were going to be so late in getting there that we would miss dinner. So, at "dinnertime", while we were still waiting for car to be fixed, my dad gave my brother $$ to get us all snacks from the mechanic/gas station (probably from a vending machine)...we ended up eating Slim Jims and chips and soda. :-( Really not sure why my dad let my 10-year old brother make the choices!? Too busy dealing with the car, I guess. But my grandma did save us some dinner when we finally got there -- very late. This reminds me of my first thanksgiving after being married the month before. We lived in Utah and were going home to Las Vegas. There was a snowstorm when we left and it just got worse and worse as we went further south. It was actually a blizzard with so much wind the snow was flying sideways. Our windshield wipers were getting caked with ice and eventually we only had a clear window the size of a dinner plate in front of the steering wheel. Everyone was driving super slow, and so were we, but I decided, in my infinite wisdom of a 21yo, that I should change lanes. Well, we ended up in the ditch between north and southbound traffic. We were so stuck, we couldn't push it out, and we couldn't stay out in the weather, and this was before cell phones, so we waited, turning on the heat now and then, hoping the weather would let up a bit. A good samaritan stopped and tried to pull us out with his truck, and ended up breaking an axle on his truck. Now we were both stuck, but a bigger truck came and pulled us all out. We went on our way only to find the highway had closed. We stopped in the nearest little town and got the last room best western had, with no heat and no tv. It was so late by this time there were no restaurants open, and all we had to eat was half frozen celery and carrot sticks. The next morning was a beautiful day with blue sky, and we ended up in Las Vegas just in time for dinner. Needless to say, I don't drive in the snow anymore when it's that bad. It's just too dangerous. |
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Post by quinlove on Nov 16, 2016 4:19:17 GMT
Last year I made coconut cream pie and put it under the broiler to brown the meringue. I got sidetracked and the pie caught on fire. So no dessert. Ha. I've done the exact same thing, it was not on Thanksgiving though. |
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Nov 16, 2016 4:43:27 GMT
My in-laws are Indian. One year my sister in law won a huge turkey at work so she asked me and her cousin (ie The two white people) to come over and help her cook a "Canadian thanksgiving." She thawed and seasoned the turkey before we got there. When I showed up, I saw that she misinterpreted "season" in the recipe and the turkey was slathered in tandoori paste. At that point, we just had to embrace it.  We made mango chutney gravy and Saffron mashed potatoes and saag. Our cousin and I had a blast thinking up Indian recipes for standard dishes. Everyone showed up so excited for the "Canadian thanksgiving" that my sister in law had bragged she was making... That was not so traditional anymore, LOL. It was still all delicious. |
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Post by ntsf on Nov 16, 2016 6:02:27 GMT
the first year we were married, I let my dh go to the store to get a turkey.. I said get a large one.. cause I wanted leftovers.. so he got a 30 lb turkey that fit into the oven with 1/4 inch to spare and took hours to cook... for the two of us.
then there was the year I put the potato peelings down the disposal and and it broke and dh went out, got a new one and installed it in the middle of cooking. then there was the year we were having guests and dh decided that the chairs needed new covers.. so I was out back with the chairs and the staple gun mid day in the middle of cooking.
now.. I don't ask dh to do anything!!
I don't even know if we are cooking anything this year but pies. the pumpkins will get cooked up this weekend. no response from my kid who lives in our town..
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Post by jenjie on Nov 16, 2016 14:40:22 GMT
I probably should stay off this thread but here goes...
First year we were dating, Fred was on his way to my house on Thanksgiving, slid on a patch of ice and destroyed somebody's mailbox. They protected the replacement mailbox in a cocoon of bricks. I pity the next fool who tries to take out their mailbox!
Next Thanksgiving we were engaged and I was in the hospital with pneumonia. My parents brought Thanksgiving dinner for the 4 of us from a local diner and it was surprisingly amazingly good. Or maybe, and I just thought of this, maybe it was so good because I'd been eating hospital food for 2 weeks. 😂
Then there was the year my parents ordered Thanksgiving Dinner for the whole family from some restaurant and it was pressed turkey. Like lunchmeat. So gross.
Two years ago we brought Thanksgiving dinner to the hospital where my dad was on hospice. It ended up being a really sweet time. He died later that night.
Last year we were missing 3 people around the table between my dad, dh and stepsister's dad.
It can only get better, right? We spend every Thanksgiving with my family. Sil spends it with her dh's family. Mil this year is having everyone over for breakfast before we go our separate ways.
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Post by jenjie on Nov 16, 2016 14:41:54 GMT
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Post by anxiousmom on Nov 16, 2016 14:49:05 GMT
My very first thanksgiving as a married person involved having my new, and at that time, still unsure of me, in laws.
Let's just put it like this-they arrived as we were putting out the flames shooting out of the oven. That was when I learned there is actually a difference in the foil baking and roasting pans you buy at the store.
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Post by littlemama on Nov 16, 2016 15:12:13 GMT
My very first thanksgiving as a married person involved having my new, and at that time, still unsure of me, in laws. Let's just put it like this-they arrived as we were putting out the flames shooting out of the oven. That was when I learned there is actually a difference in the foil baking and roasting pans you buy at the store. I swear we are somehow related!
One year, fairly early in our marriage, we decided to have my mom and stepdad, FIL and stepmomIL and some assortment of kids, and MIL and stepdadIL. MIL and her husband are the two who couldn't get along with anyone and MIL was always late at that point (I've since corrected that, but I digress).
My mom, FIL and I were in the kitchen, we had pulled the turkey from the oven because the thermometer and the leg wiggle and whatever else said it was done. As is always the case when I make a turkey, it was NOT done. FIL had the idea to cut it in half (like separate breast and back) and throw it on a cookie sheet to finish it up. The cookie sheet turned out not to be big enough. We noticed the smoke coming from the oven, and were working to contain the beast, when MIL and her husband walked in (late) just as the smoke alarm went off. My mom, fil and I were on the floor laughing.
Then there was the year when PMS and Thanksgiving coincided, the turkey wasn't done even though all the tests said it was (story of my turkey-cooking life) and I flipped my shit and stabbed that asshole bird with my giant carving knife in a way that Hitchock would have been proud of (think Psycho, shower curtain)
We now just order turkey from somewhere.
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Post by mommaho on Nov 16, 2016 15:22:29 GMT
My house is usually the gathering place for everyone for holidays and two years ago I decided I would not go Honeybaked to save some money. I found a recipe, purchased a spiral sliced ham from the local grocery. The ham had a nice crust on it just like honeybaked, but the cola I poured on it to give it that extra flavor turned the ham slightly brown. It was still good but didn't look good at all!
I think I'm going to put a sign on the front door this year - No Political Talk - we have a diverse group and it could get nasty if allowed.
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Post by scrappyoutlaw on Nov 16, 2016 15:36:28 GMT
Long ago when my mom was just dating my father she attended thanksgiving with my grandma (her now MIL). Also in attendance was my uncle and his at the time fling, who I'm told didn't last long.
That particular Thanksgiving was also the year my Grandma decided to try out an oyster stuffing recipe. Yes, oyster stuffing. So gross. Well this particular fling with my Uncle thought it was delicious and complimented my grandma on the recipe. I'm sure you can see where this is going! Almost 40 years later now we all laugh hysterically at my mom who has to suffer through a small serving of oyster stuffing to be polite to my grandma who thinks it was my mom who loved it so much! It's a huge family joke, and every time it comes up my mom regrets not just telling my grandma many, many years ago. It's too late to confess now that she hates that stuffing!
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 16, 2016 16:13:30 GMT
One year my DS, maybe 7 or 8 at the time, heard the timer go off, so he shut it off and shut off the oven! I was only using the timer to baste the turkey. Luckily, I noticed maybe an hour later, so dinner wasn't too late.
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Post by Linda on Nov 16, 2016 16:35:00 GMT
many years ago, I hosted my very first Thanksgiving dinner- I was 22 with 1 y/o living in a tiny little house. I invited my mum and sister; my former roommate (who showed up with her mum, her brother, brother's GF and GF's 3 kids); a couple of foreign students from my University; a friend of mine (who brought another friend)...so 13 guests plus me and DS in this tiny little house...there wasn't room to turn around, never mind sit down...and I had never cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner before. Food turned out fine...I had a terrible migraine and didn't end up eating at all though. My mum had plenty to say (none of it good) about my hosting; the foreign students were already tipsy when they arrived and proceeded to drink (all) the wine that they brought with them; the brother's GF's kids were hooligans; and my child had a blast charming everyone I swore that never again would I host Thanksgiving (but of course, that didn't happen) some years after that, I had WAY too many people living in my studio apartment - me and DS, a coworker and her BF and her BF's toddler, plus a friend of mine was staying over while the dorms were closed for Thanksgiving. I decided to make dinner for everyone. I always made stuffing from scratch - my granny's recipe but I was out-voted - it wasn't Thanksgiving without Stovetop...so out we all went (on foot - none of us had cars) on a hunt for Stovetop stuffing ON Thanksgiving when the grocery stores were closed. Finally found it at a drugstore but by then I was DONE with people - these people in particular - we had dinner...much later than I had hoped and they all went out leaving me to clean up. Once again, I swore I would never again host Thanksgiving. And I didn't for many years.... 3 years ago, MIL had moved into a flat and didn't have space to host the big family gathering. So I offered to. Only MIL, SIL, and SIL's daughter and 3 kids bothered to show. Niece was late by about an hour. SIL showed up TWO hours EARLY and completely threw off my schedule because she expected me to sit and talk to her while I expected to be left alone in the kitchen to COOK (and DH disappeared...of course). SIL brought several side dishes despite being told she didn't need to - and I had to drop everything to find a spot on the table for them and serving utensils and space to heat up this one and refrigerate that one. And afterwards - no one said thank you and grand-niece (16 ish) packed up 2/3rd of the leftovers and took them home including ALL the ham and most of the turkey. This year it'll just be me, DH and the two girls.... |
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,759
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Nov 16, 2016 16:51:48 GMT
For my first Thanksgiving as a married person, we were just going to be celebrating it with just the 2 of us. He was military and no family was going to be coming out and we knew no one at the time. I wanted to find a small turkey (hahaha). I thought I hit the jack pot! It was small, we would have leftovers, but not so much it would be ridiculous.
Thawed it out, took it out of the plastic. There are no legs! WHAT! Where are the legs? And the wings? Yes, I bought just a breast. And I don't really care of white meat. LOL
It turned out good, but I had no idea at the time there were just turkey breasts you could buy. LOL
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
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Post by Grom Pea on Nov 16, 2016 18:02:53 GMT
Long ago when my mom was just dating my father she attended thanksgiving with my grandma (her now MIL). Also in attendance was my uncle and his at the time fling, who I'm told didn't last long. That particular Thanksgiving was also the year my Grandma decided to try out an oyster stuffing recipe. Yes, oyster stuffing. So gross. Well this particular fling with my Uncle thought it was delicious and complimented my grandma on the recipe. I'm sure you can see where this is going! Almost 40 years later now we all laugh hysterically at my mom who has to suffer through a small serving of oyster stuffing to be polite to my grandma who thinks it was my mom who loved it so much! It's a huge family joke, and every time it comes up my mom regrets not just telling my grandma many, many years ago. It's too late to confess now that she hates that stuffing! Lol not thanksgiving buy my dh's step mom was convinced he liked pickled herring, none of his siblings (including him) likes it. I'm not sure where she got that idea. Luckily it only showed up the one time. I tried it. It pretty much tasted like it sounds. |
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Nov 16, 2016 18:39:08 GMT
He got out his measuring tape and started alotting about 10 inches per person so we could all be at one table. We tried again to get him to understand that this would not work, we'd practically be sitting on each other with no room for elbows or breathing space. Where was he going to find 10" wide chairs? |
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cherrymoon
Junior Member
Posts: 66
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Post by cherrymoon on Nov 17, 2016 2:07:01 GMT
My very first thanksgiving as a married person involved having my new, and at that time, still unsure of me, in laws. Let's just put it like this-they arrived as we were putting out the flames shooting out of the oven. That was when I learned there is actually a difference in the foil baking and roasting pans you buy at the store. I swear we are somehow related!
One year, fairly early in our marriage, we decided to have my mom and stepdad, FIL and stepmomIL and some assortment of kids, and MIL and stepdadIL. MIL and her husband are the two who couldn't get along with anyone and MIL was always late at that point (I've since corrected that, but I digress).
My mom, FIL and I were in the kitchen, we had pulled the turkey from the oven because the thermometer and the leg wiggle and whatever else said it was done. As is always the case when I make a turkey, it was NOT done. FIL had the idea to cut it in half (like separate breast and back) and throw it on a cookie sheet to finish it up. The cookie sheet turned out not to be big enough. We noticed the smoke coming from the oven, and were working to contain the beast, when MIL and her husband walked in (late) just as the smoke alarm went off. My mom, fil and I were on the floor laughing.
Then there was the year when PMS and Thanksgiving coincided, the turkey wasn't done even though all the tests said it was (story of my turkey-cooking life) and I flipped my shit and stabbed that asshole bird with my giant carving knife in a way that Hitchock would have been proud of (think Psycho, shower curtain)
We now just order turkey from somewhere.
. Next time, flip the turkey upside down for 30 minutes before it's done... then put it back in the oven for another 15-20 minutes. I get a perfectly cooked turkey every year this way. 😂 |
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Post by happyOCgirl on Nov 17, 2016 3:14:21 GMT
My alcoholic uncle passed out, face planted in the mashed potatoes.
Another alcoholic uncle passed out in the bathroom with the door locked in an old house with no key. 26 people and one bathroom.
Yet another uncle announced to everyone he was going to stop selling weed at the trucker stops on his route.
Another uncle bought an all natural, very expensive turkey to BBQ. As we were eating the most terrible tasting and dry turkey ever, he announced how the turkeys at that farm are feed a diet of bugs because it made the turkeys happy.
My aunt somehow always managed to dump a lot of pepper in the mashed potatoes so they were grey.
Another aunt never remembered to not put the potato skins down the garbage disposal.
We went to visit my college aged brother in Boston. We had reservations at Plymouth Plantation at 11 am. We were so hungry at 7 pm we went to look for dinner. We walked into a delicious smelling restaurant. My mom and I were the only females and the tables were only for 2. The host gave us one look and wrote down the names of other restaurants that were open.
Last year, my brother put the turkey carcass in the trashcan during his 'friends giving'. His dog ate it. His Thanksgiving was spent at the emergency vets.
In addition to kitchen fires, raw food, drugs, vets, bad recipes, drunk relatives, emergency room visits, and wondering how I am related to these people, my immediate family has always had a great laugh in the car ride home after Thanksgiving dinner!
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We made mango chutney gravy and Saffron mashed potatoes and saag. Our cousin and I had a blast thinking up Indian recipes for standard dishes. Everyone showed up so excited for the "Canadian thanksgiving" that my sister in law had bragged she was making... That was not so traditional anymore, LOL. It was still all delicious.
