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Post by fkawitchypea on Nov 18, 2016 23:23:22 GMT
Tomorrow is my cousin's daughter's bat mitzvah. We are all Catholic, so we have zero experience here. While this is my 2nd cousin's daughter, these are some of my closest relatives and this is a major event for them.
I have no idea what to do for a gift. I was thinking cash, but not sure how much is appropriate. I will preface this by saying that I am a single mother (not poor, but she knows that money is tight) and they are very well off. My cousin is one of the most generous and sensitive souls I know, so if I give too much, she will not be happy, but I don't want to be cheap, considering how close we are.
I know that she is getting jewelry from several family members, so I think jewelry is out. I have to have a gift by the party tomorrow night and this is after spending the morning (and I understand some of the afternoon) at the temple for the service and the lunch. I also just found out that the party is cocktail attire for the adults so I'm ransacking my closet for something appropriate!
Any ideas/advice?
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Post by ntsf on Nov 18, 2016 23:27:07 GMT
money.... there is a certain amount traditonal.. like $18 or something..google it.
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by scrappinghappy on Nov 18, 2016 23:27:12 GMT
First off Mazel Tov!  Any denomination of $18 (Chai = Life) would be appropriate. Give what you can afford. Money is fine and always appreciated. Some other gifts my kids appreciated were Jewish life event or holiday items like a Mezzuzah for the door, a Menorah or Jewish jewelry. Unfortunately you don't have a lot of time to shop so I would go with money. |
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Post by fkawitchypea on Nov 18, 2016 23:39:43 GMT
Thank you!!!!
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Post by Delta Dawn on Nov 18, 2016 23:47:23 GMT
I got the Bat Mitzvah I knew an expensive photo frame. I didn't know I should have spent more as it was my first experience. With her brother's Bar Mitzvah (and he is DS' BFF so I had to get something nice) I got him a Wii. (I learned...)
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Post by gorgeouskid on Nov 18, 2016 23:49:51 GMT
$18 (or multiples) thereof are appropriate. Give what you can afford...
The last bar mitzvah I went to we gave a $100 check + $18 nice crisp ones.
For my best friend's son's bar mitzvah, we gave a $200 check, $100 gift card to Sugarfish Sushi, and the $18 crisp ones. He's like my son.
Those are family gifts. For the bar mitzvahs my son attends (or used to attend, he's now past that age), $18 + a $20 GameStop gift card for the boys and a $20 Sephora card for the girls was always greatly appreciated.
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Nov 19, 2016 0:03:54 GMT
A nice card would be good as well. Hallmark makes Bar/Bat Mitzvah cards.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 16:05:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2016 0:07:02 GMT
$18
And a pretty piece of jewelry.
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Post by melanell on Nov 19, 2016 0:10:01 GMT
Since you said that she is receiving quite a bit of jewelry already, I would go the route of the $18 & a gift card in an amount that works for you, OR if there is anything particular that has special meaning to you that you would like to share, such as a favorite book, etc., then you could do that instead of the gift card.  |
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 19, 2016 1:27:21 GMT
I second $18 and a less expensive gift card. Don't break the bank for a teenager. Do what is comfortable for you. I once gave a financial gift and the kid's dad scolded me for not giving a larger amount like another person did. The kid was just as ungrateful, focusing only on the money received and not on the importance and spiritual reason for the occasion. Preparing for a b'nai mitzvah is hard work and it takes a lot of time and training. Celebrating your milestone w/family and friends is lots of fun, but gifts aren't the reason we become a bar/bat mitzvah. Gratitude attitudes don't come w/a price range.
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Post by lucyg on Nov 19, 2016 5:09:50 GMT
I second $18 and a less expensive gift card. Don't break the bank for a teenager. Do what is comfortable for you. I once gave a financial gift and the kid's dad scolded me for not giving a larger amount like another person did. The kid was just as ungrateful, focusing only on the money received and not on the importance and spiritual reason for the occasion. Preparing for a b'nai mitzvah is hard work and it takes a lot of time and training. Celebrating your milestone w/family and friends is lots of fun, but gifts aren't the reason we become a bar/bat mitzvah. Gratitude attitudes don't come w/a price range. What she said! I used to give a $100 savings bond (actual cost, $50) but the government in its wisdom has made savings bonds virtually impossible to buy for gifts. Nowadays I think $36 would be fine for a kid to take to a friend's bar/bat mitzvah, or $54 or another multiple of $18, depending on your relationship and circumstances. Don't give more than you can really afford. |
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