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Post by shescrafty on Nov 23, 2016 22:22:54 GMT
So my super shy son now has a "friend" he is seeing. They are both freshmen in high school (he is 15 and she is 14).
They were watching Ferris Bueller and I went to our family room to check on laundry and ask them something. He had his arms around her and she was sitting super close. It was a surprise for me because every other time they have been together they sit at total opposite ends of the couch.
Aacckk it totally caught me off guard.
So help me-what are appropriate boundaries to give them? The tv is in the basement as that is our family room and we don't have one upstairs. They are both good kids but as all teenagers are they are hormonal.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 9, 2024 23:56:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2016 22:44:13 GMT
Your family, your values, your rules. No one else can telll you how to handle dating teens.
Now when I dated *I* was comfortable holding hands, snuggling at the movies, and kissing. That is what *I* chose to do.
I had friends who went to church every Sunday and had premarital sex. That was their choice.
Parents can set all the rules they want but at the end of the day, the kids will decide what they want.
And in my opinion, that is a disucssion that should occur way before dating age.
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Post by myshelly on Nov 23, 2016 22:47:20 GMT
Buy him condoms.
I don't mean that to sound flippant or catty or rude.
But seriously, buy him condoms.
You can set any and all boundaries you like. You can have whatever values you want (he may or may not choose to take those values as his own).
But ultimately, you cannot control whether he has sex or not, so teach him about and prepare him for safe sex.
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 23, 2016 22:53:31 GMT
You're going to get a variety of responses from people here, and I would imagine that a lot of them will be along the lines of "no dating until 16" and "no being alone with a member of the opposite sex". You and your DH need to come to an agreement on what the rules are to you in regards to your son and girls. I tended to be a bit more relaxed than I've found a lot of people here to be.
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Post by shescrafty on Nov 23, 2016 23:20:49 GMT
All of you are correct. We have had many many talk about sex and relationships and respect of both people in the relationship. It was just bananas for me to see my baby boy  hugging on a girl! We (my DH and I) talked to him about keeping space between them and respect of our house and home. He was embarrassed (so was I! Lol) and respectful. I will continue to talk to him about where he is, feelings, etc. He and I have always been close and I have always been open with him. Hopefully that can continue as he ages and matures. I just need to be ready and not freak out over things and not bury my head in the sand. Parenting-not for the faint of heart! Thanks peas! |
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Post by littlemama on Nov 24, 2016 0:29:40 GMT
No blankets.
If they are in a room away from the family, there's no reason you can't "need" to walk through periodically.
But him a box of condoms.
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Post by shescrafty on Nov 24, 2016 0:53:45 GMT
No blankets. If they are in a room away from the family, there's no reason you can't "need" to walk through periodically. But him a box of condoms. I even told him no blankets!!!lol |
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Post by anxiousmom on Nov 24, 2016 1:27:57 GMT
My rule was doors open at all times, I have the right to be annoying and wander at will and while I get snuggling thing, respect those around you by keeping a little breathing room between you. lol
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 24, 2016 1:41:10 GMT
So, being alone in a room like that wouldn't be allowed. My teens can watch tv in our living room, which is open to the kitchen, dining room, hallways to the bedrooms, etc. But, not in the downstairs family room, which is pretty secluded.
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Post by shescrafty on Nov 24, 2016 2:43:06 GMT
So, being alone in a room like that wouldn't be allowed. My teens can watch tv in our living room, which is open to the kitchen, dining room, hallways to the bedrooms, etc. But, not in the downstairs family room, which is pretty secluded. We have no tv in our living room (haven't for 16 years) but told my DH we may have to move one up here for this reason! |
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 24, 2016 2:58:32 GMT
You're close to your son, so ask him what he thinks. (He might be fine with limited touching.) Then tell him what you think. My kiddo has dated the same girl for 7 years and their relationship has always cracked me up. They seemed a bit more like brother and sister for the first 3 years or so. He still watches tv with her in public rooms and if they game in his room he always leaves the door open. She has traveled with us twice out of the US and they don't ever push it (in front of us). I would definitely get a box of condoms. I remember feeling like discussing safe sex felt like I was telling them I was okay with it (when I knew my boys were too young), but I also feel like better safe than sorry. I do know that if you go too far to being too protective with a lot of rules, they will just go elsewhere. It is hard trying to find that middle ground.
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hugging on a girl! 
