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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 16, 2016 9:33:09 GMT
I was invited to go to dinner with DS, DIL, and their 7 month old. Also going were two other couples, one with an 11 YO DD and 2YO twins. The other couple had a 10 YO DD and 3 YO DS.
I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.
First off, these kids were not bad. They were not destructive. There was no crying. No hitting.
Unfortunately, there was no expectation on the part of the parents that the kids would stay in their seats. Or use indoor voices.
We were in the center of a small restaurant which had room for booths on the sides and three tables in the center. Our group took all 3 of these tables pushed together.
The little ones ate quickly, and spent the rest of the time either walking or running around the restaurant, or clambering up into different chairs at our table every few minutes.
The older girls were lovely and sweet, either moving around to visit with the adults or entertain the Little's.
I saw several patrons giving us the stink eye. I was very embarrassed
The 3 YO boy in particular needed watched more closely. While I have empathy for the mom, who mentioned how trying he is, it doesn't take away the need to be considerate to the other people and the staff.
He got very excited during a coloring game with big sister, and his little voice rose and rose in volume and I gently reminded him , "inside voice, please ".
He tried to climb into the baby's high chair when she wasn't in it, and could have fallen, I had to tell him to stop it.
He sat next to his mom, and started taking big swigs of his water, and spitting it out into her water glass. He did this many times before I asked him to stop it.
At one point, the 7 month old did her new thing, blowing raspberries. The adults all cooed at how cute she is. The next thing I knew, the other 5 kids were all lined up facing the baby blowing raspberries. Loudly. Tongues out, spit flying. Do you know how loud 5 kids blowing raspberries at once is?For a long time. The parents thought it was so cute, they got their phones out to capture the cuteness and post on Instagram.
Yikes. I sound like such a fuddy duddy.
My kids stayed in their seats, they did not play where the staff were tripping over them.
Spitting, Climbing, yelling, was not done.
Someone give me my official Pearl Clutcher Card
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Post by Freefallfast on Dec 16, 2016 9:42:08 GMT
Ugh. I need a Xanax just thinking about it. PCV (pearl clutching validation).
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
Posts: 424
Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Dec 16, 2016 10:07:56 GMT
I'll validate, you are not a fuddy duddy, and I'll clutch my pearls right along with you - what an embarrassing and rather unpleasant evening that must have been. But I don't blame the kids, it seems their parents have been rather remiss in teaching their children how to behave in public. Which will not serve them (the kids) very well as the get older. Of course, the 7mo is the exception, she has no idea what she's doing and raspberries are cute at that age. The older ones - not so much.
But some parents are totally blind when it comes to their offspring - they think the behaviour is cute, and they assume everyone else does too. I'm sure the other diners were glad that at least your kids had manners. One good thing - you now know who not to dine with in future.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 16, 2016 10:14:05 GMT
I'll validate, you are not a fuddy duddy, and I'll clutch my pearls right along with you - what an embarrassing and rather unpleasant evening that must have been. But I don't blame the kids, it seems their parents have been rather remiss in teaching their children how to behave in public. Which will not serve them (the kids) very well as the get older. Of course, the 7mo is the exception, she has no idea what she's doing and raspberries are cute at that age. The older ones - not so much. But some parents are totally blind when it comes to their offspring - they think the behaviour is cute, and they assume everyone else does too. I'm sure the other diners were glad that at least your kids had manners. One good thing - you now know who not to dine with in future. I worded my post poorly. When I mentioned my kids, I meant back in the day. My four are all in their 30's now. I mentioned my experience to youngest DD, who has 8 YO twins. She said that explains why people are always telling her how good the twins are. SHE doesn't think they're good. But compared to what's expected today, her training shows. I'll admit I find it a pleasure to eat out with my grandsons. I'd like to think that even though these are the typical friends DS and DIL hang out with, they will teach DGD better. And she is pretty cute with the raspberries 😀 |
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
Posts: 424
Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Dec 16, 2016 10:31:53 GMT
I worded my post poorly. When I mentioned my kids, I meant back in the day. My four are all in their 30's now. lol, I did wonder how old they were - to have a couple sitting quietly, and another one old enough to be a father. I just though maybe a couple of "later in life" children.  I'm sure your DGD will be just fine - she has some good examples to follow thank to her grandma. |
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Dec 16, 2016 11:17:50 GMT
Major validation coming at you from over here! The only thing worse than this scenario would be the same group, at my home, after my invitation clearly spelled out that the occasion was to be an adult one!
Hope your nerves are settling down a bit.
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 16, 2016 11:59:16 GMT
Ugh. I need a Xanax just thinking about it. PCV (pearl clutching validation). Ugh, me too! I have the heebie jeebies thinking about the kid spitting water into his mum's cup. Aaaargh! |
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Dec 16, 2016 12:04:12 GMT
I'd have a huge problem with this also...the "trying" 3 yo should have been left home with a babysitter instead of brought out so the rest of the world could enjoy him  I have a huge problem with people who let their kids run around restaurants, not only are they a hazard for the wait staff, but other patrons walking through! I'm all for families taking out their children and trying to have a nice meal, but be respectful of all the other people out trying to have a nice meal. My dd is a server and recently they had a kid in the restaurant crying and crying. Finally parents took him to the front of the restaurant, but as she said they were just disrupting a different set of customers there when the door to outside was a couple feet away! |
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Post by hop2 on Dec 16, 2016 12:35:28 GMT
I'd have a huge problem with this also...the "trying" 3 yo should have been left home with a babysitter instead of brought out so the rest of the world could enjoy him I have a huge problem with people who let their kids run around restaurants, not only are they a hazard for the wait staff, but other patrons walking through! I'm all for families taking out their children and trying to have a nice meal, but be respectful of all the other people out trying to have a nice meal. My dd is a server and recently they had a kid in the restaurant crying and crying. Finally parents took him to the front of the restaurant, but as she said they were just disrupting a different set of customers there when the door to outside was a couple feet away! Or maybe the 'trying' 3 yo should be taught how to behave in a restaurant??? 3 is old enough to understand a few rules consistently applied. Else, yea, leave him home, or get up and go outside with him. I'll validate you too. |
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Post by Linda on Dec 16, 2016 12:54:11 GMT
I'll validate you also. My children are widely spaced (15 years from oldest to youngest) so we spend a LONG time either NOT eating out at anywhere fancier than McDonalds or taking turns eating/getting a meal to go while one of us was out in the car with the youngest (baby/young toddler age - once they were 3, for the most part, they could behave).
I know kids learn from doing but imo, you practise manners at home and then start with family oriented restaurants (fast food and such) before taking them to nicer places. My oldest pitched a fit at McD's when he was 4-ish - I took him out and we went home - without his food (I fed him at home - but not a Happy Meal). We didn't go often back then and he still remembers me walking out and leaving his Happy meal on the table. And as his sisters came along, he told them that when mum says behave or we'll leave - she means it.
I expect my children to sit in their seats, speak quietly, not make a mess (I do understand accidents happen - my teen knocked over her drink a couple of weeks ago and helped clean it up), and not distub our meal, nevermind anyone elses. Eating out is a treat and if you're not old enough to behave, you don't have to come.
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Post by newfcathy on Dec 16, 2016 12:55:03 GMT
Totally in agreement with you. And I would corrected the other kids as you did.
We had ds out with us at 8 weeks. We used to keep a little backpack with 'restaurant ' toys, some duplo trucks & animals, to entertain him.
Behaving at a restaurant or other public place is an important skill. No one else can teach it to your child.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,877
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 16, 2016 12:57:00 GMT
I get real annoyed with people who don't watch their children. Letting your children run amok equates to not watching them. I probably would have left the table myself. Or held up a sign that said "not my children". 😂
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,969 
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Post by Nanner on Dec 16, 2016 13:06:03 GMT
I'll validate you, too! That makes me crazy!
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Dec 16, 2016 13:11:05 GMT
Yikes. I sound like such a fuddy duddy. My kids stayed in their seats, they did not play where the staff were tripping over them. Spitting, Climbing, yelling, was not done. Someone give me my official Pearl Clutcher Card What's especially amazing is when kids are able to do this when other kids are misbehaving all around them. Usually a mob mentality sets in and otherwise well behaved kids can get swept up in the moment. While you didn't say how old yours were I assuming they were the same age as the misbehaving kids since you you mentioned how well the behaved vs them. I give a pass to toddlers/infants doing raspberries though. Save |
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Post by melanell on Dec 16, 2016 13:11:21 GMT
Ugh. That sounds like a nightmare. Parents need to know which of their children can do well in restaurants and which cannot and alter their own plans accordingly. Sometimes that means not bringing said child. Other times it means an adult has to leave the table with the child before they have finished their own food.
I am not asking more from other parents than I have had to do myself. My older son truly was very good eating out. but there was one time when he was not, and I left DH inside while DS & I left. DS was not happy because he loved/loves to eat out. But I wanted him to know that being good most of the time wasn't enough in this type of situation. And boy did he realize that quickly. In fact, we were able to go back in and finish the meal without incident.
But DS #2, oooh boy, he was not good at restaurants at all until very recently. So we didn't go. or he stayed with Grandma, or we went, but one of us left early with him and the other parent stayed with DS #1 & got a doggy bag for the one who left. And we did this many times. It's annoying and not fun, but it's what you have to do.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Dec 16, 2016 13:20:08 GMT
OP, I'll clutch my pearls right along with you. I hate to eat out and have the experience ruined by ill behaved children of any age.
I refuse to eat out with my oldest daughter's children. They are 3 and almost 5. They have atrocious table manners, run around the restaurant, and just act like wild animals in general. It is so embarrassing. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't like spending time with them in general anywhere. They are out of control and poorly behaved. I have never seen my daughter make any effort to correct them, ever. She gets upset if anyone else corrects them.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Dec 16, 2016 13:25:07 GMT
I have kids and never allowed them to act like that in public, even at that young of an age. You sit in your chair and you stay in your chair. We used to bring activities to keep them entertained. I know they can only sit for so long, so restaurant visits were always as short as possible. Our youngest liked to sit under the booth table to play quietly with whatever toys he brought along. I never minded it as long as he was quiet and sat at the table when dinner arrived. I'm sorry you had to put up with that!
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Post by pierkiss on Dec 16, 2016 13:31:34 GMT
I have little kids. They are not allowed to do any of those things at restaurants. We would have left long before it got to halfway through your story. Nope. Nope nope.
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Post by leannec on Dec 16, 2016 13:45:45 GMT
This is one of my biggest pet peeves ... if you can't get your children to behave properly in a restaurant then don't bring them  Some parents are so clueless  |
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Dec 16, 2016 13:48:06 GMT
I work in daycare and 3 year olds are the worst for sitting still, it's like they don't want to listen to anyone. I've always said there isn't a lot of truth in the terrible two's, three is so much harder.
I have a grandson who is 4 months shy of three and we do take him out to restaurants, but we don't stay to visit. You can't expect young children to eat and then entertain themselves in one spot while all the adults visit.
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Post by not2peased on Dec 16, 2016 13:48:51 GMT
I would have hated being there as well!
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Post by jenb72 on Dec 16, 2016 13:54:05 GMT
All I keep thinking is that my father NEVER would have stood for that kind of behavior in a restaurant and we knew it. We were expected to sit in our seats, behave, speak only as loud as was necessary to be heard, order only as much as we could eat and eat our dinner - not run around like monkeys and disturb the other patrons. My kids were raised the same way (they're now between 15 and 25). Parents who allow their children to act the way you described irritate the heck out of me. So count me as another one that validates your feelings.
Jen
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 16, 2016 13:56:36 GMT
Poorly behaved children are a major nuisance in a restaurant or on an airplane. There are parents who let their kids run around restaurants.
Me, I complain to management when that happens. If you(General you) can't or won't control your children, then you will just have to be embarrassed in public.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 20:02:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 14:04:52 GMT
More validation here. I know that there are kids w/challenges and their parents deserve a night out too - but that's what sitters can help with. I HATE when kids run around in a restaurant for all the reasons mentioned above. Mine were taught quickly and early that though they are the center of OUR (DH and me) universe, they are no the center of THE universe and that other people exist and that other people deserve kindness just as they do.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Dec 16, 2016 14:17:27 GMT
I would've been embarrassed too. The running around the restaurant bothers me the most because it is a risk for the servers and other patrons walking around.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 20:02:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 14:31:51 GMT
We were on a Disney cruise recently and a child was behaving much like you described - running around, climbing on chairs, bumping into servers and other guests. After 15 minutes of this, the head server came to their table and asked them to not their child run around as it was a danger to his staff and their child could also be injured. The dad huffed off with the misbehaving kid, and we never saw them at a sit down dinner again (you're assigned tables and seated near the same people each meal).
I wish all restaurants would do this.
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Post by fredfreddy on Dec 16, 2016 15:18:22 GMT
Good for you for trying at least.
A few summers ago I traveled a distance to see an old high school friend. We ended our time in a restaurant (mid nice). I had my son 12 yo. And he came with his wife and three dds, 9, 7 and 5ish.
It was awful. The three girls spent the whole time climbing all over the booth and each other, arguing about food and throwing crayons at each other. My son and I just looked at each other like WTH? The parents did nothing/empty threats "now stop that" the whole time.
I was thrilled to leave. |
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Dec 16, 2016 15:28:21 GMT
This is not an invite I would have accepted. Just reading who all was there stressed me out. I can take kids in small doses. I love kids, mine especially, but I didn't let them act like animals in public and I'm not interested in someone else's child acting like an animal in public.
We have friends with kids but we don't have a big event with every kid. We might go out to dinner with one set and one kid and that seems much more manageable.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,709
Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Dec 16, 2016 15:33:44 GMT
Our good friends own a restaurant here that passes out rule cards for people with children. It even hit national news when the word got out. There were some people that were pissed off, but it was appreciated by most people.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,436
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Dec 16, 2016 15:36:56 GMT
I'll validate, you are not a fuddy duddy, and I'll clutch my pearls right along with you - what an embarrassing and rather unpleasant evening that must have been. But I don't blame the kids, it seems their parents have been rather remiss in teaching their children how to behave in public. Which will not serve them (the kids) very well as the get older. Of course, the 7mo is the exception, she has no idea what she's doing and raspberries are cute at that age. The older ones - not so much. But some parents are totally blind when it comes to their offspring - they think the behaviour is cute, and they assume everyone else does too. I'm sure the other diners were glad that at least your kids had manners. One good thing - you now know who not to dine with in future. I worded my post poorly. When I mentioned my kids, I meant back in the day. My four are all in their 30's now. I mentioned my experience to youngest DD, who has 8 YO twins. She said that explains why people are always telling her how good the twins are. SHE doesn't think they're good. But compared to what's expected today, her training shows. I'll admit I find it a pleasure to eat out with my grandsons. I'd like to think that even though these are the typical friends DS and DIL hang out with, they will teach DGD better. And she is pretty cute with the raspberries 😀 Well my girls are 15 and 13 and I'm clutching my pearls at your post. Ugg I think what SuPea wrote "they think their behaviour is cute, and they assume everyone else does too." Ugh, me too! I have the heebie jeebies thinking about the kid spitting water into his mum's cup. Aaaargh! Yes I agree that's disgusting but at least it's something that is happening at the table and not bothering the other patrons like screaming loud and the running around. The running around bothers me most of all. My sister in law lets her boys run in our local small town diners. So what if we are locals and it's not "that busy". One what is it teaching them about how to behave when you go somewhere busy and Two (this goes for all the running around kids) it's dangerous! Employees are carrying hot pots of coffee, trays of food, breakable items. |
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