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Post by epeanymous on Dec 16, 2016 15:49:35 GMT
I don't think anyone is going to defend those parents. Obviously it is really irritating when parents let their kids misbehave in restaurants. I also think no one is going to say "I let my kids misbehave in restaurants."
One thing I have noticed is that things like this tend to escalate when you have multiple families out--not because there are so many kids or even because the parents are normally lax, but because the parents want to talk to each other. Making sure that very small children --not the nine and ten year olds here, but two and three year olds, or babies--are not disruptive requires focus, and when families have struggled to find a time when everyone can meet up, no one wants to be the person who has to leave with their two-year-old who is acting up. When you have several little kids like that, I find it's better to meet up at home or (if these are available). at a restaurant that has an outdoor play area.
I have six kids and they are generally excellent in restaurants (although there is no way I'd take the whole pack of them anywhere that wasn't explicitly family-friendly). The baby (15 months) just hit the phase my kids always hit in early toddlerhood where they don't want to sit in one place for an hour, however, so, right now, our whole-family-dining-out habits are shelved.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,342
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Dec 16, 2016 15:57:49 GMT
Having had an energetic three year old, I contend the person who coined the phrase "terrible twos" was premature; s/he hadn't experienced three yet! I empathize with toddler parents' plight, but do not excuse the behaviors they allow (often without objection).
Unfortunately, I had a similar dining experience recently. Over the weekend our 14 y.o. son & I ate lunch at a restaurant that's perpetually busy in a popular shopping area. When we were seated, you couldn't miss an adorable, happy, designer-clad toddler tirelessly running laps in the restaurant, barely squeezing between tables & the legs of waiters as they took orders/served hot food/cleared tables, taking shortcuts under occupied tables, climbing into empty chairs to clang used silverware & plates at tables waiting to be bused, & posing a hazard to herself & everyone else.
While there was no way the mom was able to chase the child wearing Lady Gaga-inspired 6" platform wedges, her only involvement was to warmly smile & enthusiastically wave each time the child raced by her table. Customers & servers were unsuccessfully encouraging the little girl to go to her mom. Our son kindly shared what he'd been taught at that age as she emerged beside him from under our table: "It's a restaurant, not a playground. You eat at a restaurant & play at a playground." She paused, giggled, & was still going strong when we left (after complaining to the manager)...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 20:00:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 16:03:02 GMT
Yes I agree that's disgusting but at least it's something that is happening at the table and not bothering the other patrons like screaming loud and the running around. The running around bothers me most of all. My sister in law lets her boys run in our local small town diners. So what if we are locals and it's not "that busy". One what is it teaching them about how to behave when you go somewhere busy and Two (this goes for all the running around kids) it's dangerous! Employees are carrying hot pots of coffee, trays of food, breakable items. We were at a Subway for lunch once when DD was about 3 and were there w/another mom and 3 yo. That 3yo was what you described, hanging on the door bar doing gymnastics on it, running around (Subways are pretty small - this one was) and generally whooping it up. I asked my friend if we should take the food to go. She was like, "no, it's ONLY Subway". Um, yeah, but those couple of laborers that were in there were likely in there to get a quick bite at a cheap cost and go back to their plumbing van. Those Subway workers that were in there were likely in there to get through their day w/a minimum of stress and unpleasantness. I don't get this attitude that it's ok if kids treat other people like shit and/or don't consider other people - if it's ONLY a Subway. As if people who eat at Subway don't deserve a few minutes of peace and quiet.
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,258
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Dec 16, 2016 16:24:42 GMT
Sounds like a freakin' nightmare! My girls were never allowed to act like that in public and would often talk about children who were let to run wild. There is a time and a place for everything and children can be taught. You just have to give half a damn to do it.
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Post by beachbum on Dec 16, 2016 16:25:19 GMT
In situations like this the 'teacher' in me comes out! Retired or not, it's in there and always will be. I would do the same as you, if the parents aren't going to make them behave correctly someone needs to - for their own safety. Good for you for standing up for what's right - keep on doing it, maybe the parents will catch on.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 16, 2016 16:30:39 GMT
I'm the mom of a six year old, and I will completely validate you here. I always kept my kid under very tight surveillance whenever we were out and about because we pretty much had to bring her everywhere. She learned very quickly what would and would not fly with us, to the point where she would see other kids doing things or acting out and she would quickly look to us for cues like a slight head shake or stink eye, LOL, and know not to join in. The result is a very well behaved kid that we've taken to movies, to theater style shows on a cruise ship (Disney), out to fancy restaurants and to church on occasion, all without incident or embarrassment. Her teachers all love her because she pays attention in school and follows directions. It isn't impossible but it does require a good amount of consistent hands on parenting and it's well worth the effort in the long run.
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Post by Tamhugh on Dec 16, 2016 16:32:19 GMT
My oldest was a wild toddler. But we never had issues with him in a restaurant. We always joked that he liked to eat so much that he just sat and waited for the food. The reality is that we had strict rules for restaurants and he knew he could not get out of his seat and wander. We had a small backpack filled with matchboxes and little Disney figures that he played with at the table until his food arrived. I also think that our kids were "trained" for restaurant behavior by how we handled dinners at home. We always sat down to the table as a family and they stayed seated until we were all done and they asked to be excused. It wasn't anything I really thought about at the time, but now when our grown children talk about that, so many of their friends say that they never did that growing up. We have nieces and nephews on both sides of the family who were allowed to wander at restaurants and it always drove me crazy. Unless your child has special needs that would prevent it, you can teach them to sit for the short time it takes to have a meal.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Dec 16, 2016 16:32:57 GMT
no judgement here
i'd have skipped that dinner
ugh....
gina
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 20:00:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 16:53:14 GMT
Children need to go out for dinner , parents need to instruct them on proper behavior for being out in public.
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Post by maryland on Dec 16, 2016 17:03:18 GMT
I agree with you! And it's not an age thing, I felt that way when I was a teenager.
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Post by leslie132 on Dec 16, 2016 17:15:45 GMT
I give you validation. I have a 12 year old and 4 year old twins.....there is no reason. You have to teach them young that there is a time and place for everything. The getting excited and talking louder wouldn't have bothered me. The running around is totally unacceptable IMO. I have taken my twins to lunch dates with my girlfriends since they were born. They have sat at the table for almost 2 hours while we sit and visit. I have books, crayons and coloring books and games loaded on my phone. They have enough to do that running around is not even thought about! Plus, they enjoy their meals as much as we woman do I would have been very uncomfortable!
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Post by anniefb on Dec 16, 2016 17:19:50 GMT
Ugh. More validation here. That spitting into the water glass would have tipped me over the edge!
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Post by maryland on Dec 16, 2016 17:19:56 GMT
Sounds like a freakin' nightmare! My girls were never allowed to act like that in public and would often talk about children who were let to run wild. There is a time and a place for everything and children can be taught. You just have to give half a damn to do it. Same here! Our girls were very energetic, being typical girls, but they learned very early not to act like that in a restaurant, etc. It was work on our part as parents, but we didn't feel it was fair to paying customers that our girls ruin their dining experience. And we still wanted to be able to go out to eat occasionally. My daughters are teens, and at this point, they don't want kids because they see how other kids act in public and they say they cannot put up with that! When my oldest was in 10th grade, she was on the track team and they were running a fun meet for elem. kids. My daughter was in charge of the 2nd grade girls. She came home saying she no longer wants to be a teacher, she doesn't know how they do it!
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,171
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Dec 16, 2016 18:16:42 GMT
What a nightmare! I was getting ancy reading how many kids were going to be a the dinner table! I totally validate you and would have been mortified. I don't blame the kids for the poor behavior, I blame the parents.
I have a friend who has 5 kids. She was a total exhausted mother and would allow her kids to do whatever because she was so rundown and overloaded.
I met her at Taco Bell and the kids were awful. One was licking the window, two were having taco sauce fights. They were running and yelling, filling there cups with 5 kinds of soda. It was the last time I went out with them. Now when she wants to get lunch it is just the two of us.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 16, 2016 18:52:27 GMT
My tolerance for bad behavior by children in restaurants is pretty low. I would have been tempted to excuse myself from the table and quietly ask to be seated elsewhere. Now carrying that out, that's debatable, but it would sure cross my mind.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,665
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Dec 17, 2016 4:30:56 GMT
I am way too old for that sort of nonsense. Good grief
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 17, 2016 7:40:54 GMT
I'd have a huge problem with this also...the "trying" 3 yo should have been left home with a babysitter instead of brought out so the rest of the world could enjoy him I have a huge problem with people who let their kids run around restaurants, not only are they a hazard for the wait staff, but other patrons walking through! I'm all for families taking out their children and trying to have a nice meal, but be respectful of all the other people out trying to have a nice meal. My dd is a server and recently they had a kid in the restaurant crying and crying. Finally parents took him to the front of the restaurant, but as she said they were just disrupting a different set of customers there when the door to outside was a couple feet away! Yep, my ADHD child had to wait longer then her siblings before she could eat out. She wasn't able to sit quietly as soon as they did. I do not understand parents that think it's ok to let their kids act like this in public places. And I'm beyond tired of parents that think everything their kid does is cute!
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 17, 2016 7:45:40 GMT
I agree with you! And it's not an age thing, I felt that way when I was a teenager. My 17 yr old, the ADHD one, hates it when she's out and see's those teens that give them all a bad name This has happened to her at the movies and restaurant. Probably those toddlers that are now teens!
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Post by pretzels on Dec 17, 2016 13:12:19 GMT
I find that the older my kids get, the less tolerance I have for kids acting up in public. I was not the perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination, but if either of them acted up in a restaurant, we left immediately -- either one of us would take him or her out temporarily or we all left. There was a three-year period where we did not take the kids out to eat anywhere other than McDonald's because they just could not be relied upon to be reasonable in a real restaurant!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Dec 17, 2016 14:46:58 GMT
i remember going out to a family restaurant after shopping one time with MIL, SIL, DH and our niece... who was about 5 at the time. omg - it was painful. everyone had to take turns eating so they could run around the restaurant with the 5 year old to ensure she wasn't disturbing other patrons, going into the staff only areas, trying to mop the floor with a mom in a bucket in a CLOSED closet. i had no kids and was like HELL NO.
fast forward to starting my own family, this was something i was determined was NOT going to happen to me. i always stressed appropriate manners in a restaurant and made sure to bring some small toys, crayons, etc.
i thought it was easier now. everywhere i go it seems parents just hand over their phone or tablet and the kids just zone out. problem solved! guess not.
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Dec 17, 2016 17:40:04 GMT
I'm with you. The older I get, the less patience I have. Last weekend, DS (16) and I went to the new Outback by our house. It has steps up from a sidewalk and on either side, landscaping with rocks. There was a kid, maybe about 5, hanging on the handrails on and kicking the rocks all over the steps. DS said, "I can't believe his parents are just standing there and letting him do that!" The years of beatings and intimidation seem to have worked. I'm not a perfect parent by any means, but that's one thing I would never tolerate. Our busiest child, DD now 22, spent a lot of time in her childhood being taken out to cars until she learned how to behave.
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 17, 2016 19:26:58 GMT
I have one of those kids and it's the reason why we seldom go inside restaurants. Drive-thrus are our friends. I can't imagine why anyone would want to socialize at a restaurant with kids acting like that after eating a meal. It's so rare I have a chance to eat at nice places, I would ask to be moved. If, for some reason I was being brave and brought my son, I'd complain to the manager or waiter about the customers. I wouldn't want to move after strategically placing my son in the best spot at the table or booth.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,635
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Dec 17, 2016 20:08:47 GMT
Dinner from hell! lol
Most young kids don't enjoy going out for meals. You gotta get, get out.
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