maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,624
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on Jan 4, 2017 17:06:33 GMT
Congratulations! Just do what feels right for you.
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Post by KelleeM on Jan 4, 2017 17:14:29 GMT
I'm so happy for you!!
Do what's best for you both and don't worry about anyone else!!
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,474
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Jan 4, 2017 17:18:25 GMT
Congratulations! May you have many decades of love and happiness.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jan 4, 2017 17:24:21 GMT
Congratulations! As long as your day feels special to you then that's all that matters. It's the marriage that counts.
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Post by farmdpea on Jan 4, 2017 17:27:51 GMT
Congrats!!! You do what you guys want to do!! Look at your budget and then explore options says Mom of 2 DDs who all opted for church weddings while being given the cash option as well. Weddingbee.com is a great source from actual brides. PSS Aubie can come to your reception:) We're a house divided
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Post by farmdpea on Jan 4, 2017 17:34:08 GMT
Oh, but there is no good story to tell! We are "older" (37 & 44), so we had discussed getting married several times before. He wanted to propose at Christmas, but really wanted my input on the ring. He also knew EVERYONE expected him to ask then, so was a little put off by that. We had to exchange a Christmas gift which involved a trip to the city. We decided last minute to go Sunday morning. While we were getting ready he said "call me crazy, but I think we should look at rings". So, look at rings we did. We had no intention of purchasing that day, but I fell in love with the second setting I put on my finger. We left to look at other stores and make sure it was THE ring...I loved it more on the second trip. So, no bending knees and no asking my father. He asked if I wanted either of those and I declined. I told my closest friends (one of whom set us up) while the ring was being sized. I told them to stand by for an announcement I showed my parents and grandmother as soon as we got home. His poor mom only got a phone call, but she was thrilled. I heard her through the phone from the next room. Everyone else found out the good old fashioned way...Facebook! Now see, I like your story. It's YOUR story, it sounds like it fits you guys. It doesn't have to sound like anyone else's. I'll share just a tidbit of our story so as not to take away from yours but to show you it's ok! He interrupted me while I was in the middle of washing dishes. We had our moment. Then I went back to washing dishes! 😂 I love it!
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,467
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jan 4, 2017 17:37:05 GMT
I took off to Tahoe with my DH (duh) and our mutual friend who introduced us. After we got married, I called my parents. My dad cried. He was really upset that we didn't invite them. It tore me up! My grandparents on both sides were very happy to hear it. I think my grandma and grandpa were tired of going to weddings since I have 18 cousins! My nana was totally fine with it.
Soooo.... yes, elope. HOWEVER, take those close to you.
I never had a reception. I'm totally fine with that as I don't like being the center of attention. I sent out announcements with a picture of us after the ceremony. Some people sent gifts, others didn't. I didn't care. We had been living together for over 10 years at that point so it was more of a formality to get married than anything.
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Post by farmdpea on Jan 4, 2017 17:37:34 GMT
Congratulations and best wishes! As for what to do, talk to your fiancé and the two of you will figure it out together. Do what feels right to you! Whatever you decide, premarital counseling is never a bad idea. DH and I went through it and we were both very surprised by how compatible we turned out to be in spite of being brought up in very different ways. I just spoke to my former pastor (now full time counselor) about this last night. I've never been through any type of therapy/counseling before, so the thought is very intimidating, but I want to do everything possible to set us up for success.
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Post by farmdpea on Jan 4, 2017 17:41:50 GMT
Thank you, ladies! This will be my first wedding (his second), so he says it's up to me to decide what I want. He will support my decision. Gee, thanks for nothing, buddy!
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Post by beebee on Jan 4, 2017 17:54:36 GMT
Congratulations!!!! We eloped. People that know me would think that I am the last person in the world that would elope. But I just could not handle the stress of planning it. I have no regrets. It really is such a personal decision.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jan 4, 2017 18:12:21 GMT
Congratulations!!! Do what you feel in your heart you want to. After all, it's your wedding
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jan 4, 2017 18:32:53 GMT
You've had so many singing the praises of eloping - I have to chime in. Do what's right for YOU - but I do not for a second regret our wedding. We did the whole couple hundred guests, church, big reception shindig. Yes, it's work to plan and expensive. But I really loved sharing the day with our friends and family. I broke with tradition and did all of our pictures before hand - it completely changes the reception dynamic. I ate - I danced - I visited with my college friends who flew in - I had a blast. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. If I was to scale things back, I would still make sure and have some of those nearest and dearest to me there (and I'll be honest, it would have been really hard on my parents to not have been there for my wedding - and that's important to ME)
Congrats on the engagement and best wishes for a long and happy marriage!
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jan 4, 2017 19:13:05 GMT
Congratulations and have fun which ever option you pick
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,192
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jan 4, 2017 19:17:31 GMT
Just wanted to tell you congratulations!!
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Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209
Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Jan 4, 2017 19:29:51 GMT
Congratulations!
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,474
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Jan 4, 2017 19:35:41 GMT
Congratulations! That's so exciting!
You do what will make you as a couple happy. I wish I had eloped, had the family wedding because that's what they wanted and I didn't enjoy 'my big day', but that's me. You may love the thought of a formal ceremony. I've had 2 children marry and as they grew up, especially into dating age, I told them to plan the marriage more than the wedding. One had a bigger wedding because that's what his bride's grandmother insisted on. They were stressed, but it turned out lovely in the end. My daughter chose a much smaller formal ceremony. We hired a wedding planner to make sure the day went smoothly, not to micromanage the wedding planning from beginning to end. Those couple of consultations plus having her there the day of to keep things rolling was priceless.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,176
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Jan 4, 2017 19:36:39 GMT
Thank you, ladies! This will be my first wedding (his second), so he says it's up to me to decide what I want. He will support my decision. Gee, thanks for nothing, buddy! It is a very wonderful experience when all the people you both hold near and dear are gathered together.
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Post by digirlwiz on Jan 4, 2017 19:40:19 GMT
Congratulations!!!! thanks for sharing great news with us! I vote for a JP and a nice dinner with folks who are near and dear to both of you.
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Post by miominmio on Jan 4, 2017 19:40:34 GMT
Congratulations!
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,516
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Jan 4, 2017 19:44:54 GMT
This is great news! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
I'd love to see a picture of your ring, if you feel like sharing that.
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Post by malibou on Jan 4, 2017 19:51:17 GMT
Congratulations! Ain't love grand.
We were 30 when we got married. We opted to elope and off to Vegas we went.
We also opted to skip a reception as the people that mattered the most to me had shown up for a college graduation party my mom had thrown for me the month before.
No real planning went into it. And at the end of it all, I have a funny story and 1 picture to mark the event.
22 years later, I don't regret the decision in any way, shape, or form.
J
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jan 4, 2017 19:56:13 GMT
Spend your money on a fabulous once-in-a-lifetime vacation/elopement and skip all the family DRAMA. (this from the wedding photographer lol). Be sure to hire a photographer! Hire a competent photographer and see other weddings he/she has done in the past. Everyone has a portfolio these days or an online gallery. Please.
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Post by gizzy on Jan 4, 2017 20:33:28 GMT
Congratulations!
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,650
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Jan 4, 2017 20:36:41 GMT
Congratulations!
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,738
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jan 4, 2017 20:49:10 GMT
Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!!!
Do what makes you both happy, as long as a photographer is hired. Congrats!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 4, 2017 21:14:17 GMT
Congratulations and best wishes! As for what to do, talk to your fiancé and the two of you will figure it out together. Do what feels right to you! Whatever you decide, premarital counseling is never a bad idea. DH and I went through it and we were both very surprised by how compatible we turned out to be in spite of being brought up in very different ways. I just spoke to my former pastor (now full time counselor) about this last night. I've never been through any type of therapy/counseling before, so the thought is very intimidating, but I want to do everything possible to set us up for success. Ours wasn't like counseling counseling. IIRC, we each did a values assessment (kind of like Myers-Briggs but for scoring what is important to each person) and once it was scored we could see where our individual values overlapped. We also had guided discussions about money, children, household responsibilities, things that tend to be problem areas in a marriage so we each knew where the other stood in regard to those things. It was very beneficial and quite eye opening because at the time we were in the middle of planning our wedding and we hadn't been seeing eye to eye about various things. So LOL when our counselor told us that we were probably the most compatible couple she had ever counseled, I remember us looking at each other and laughing because at that moment I don't think either one of us believed it! Almost 27 years married later, I think she was right.
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Post by deshacrafts on Jan 4, 2017 21:19:51 GMT
Congratulations!
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Jan 4, 2017 21:28:52 GMT
Congratulations!!!
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Post by deekaye on Jan 4, 2017 21:38:54 GMT
Congratulations!! I guess my answer depends on where you are at this point in your life. Selfishly, as the mother-of-the-bride, I would want you to have a big wedding with a big reception with all of our/your family/friends... that's what DD did two years ago and it was lovely (the wedding) and so much fun (reception). Younger DD, who will probably be engaged in a year or so (both graduating from college) has already informed me they would like to just go with the immediate family somewhere warm for an intimate wedding and then come back and throw a big party bash. Again, as a mom, I would really rather have the foo-foo white wedding with all of our friends/family but this is HER decision (okay, and grooms ), so it's whatever she wants. Now, if I was the one getting married, ie., if this was a second wedding, .... I would be all over running off to do something quick and romantic, probably not even letting family/friends know about it until afterwards. Do what feels right to you and congrats again!
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Jan 4, 2017 22:06:46 GMT
Congratulations!
One of my best memories from my wedding day is looking around the reception and seeing so many people who were special to me in one room, and just feeling SO loved.
If you elope, I'd recommend having a party/reception very soon afterwards to celebrate the special day.
ETA - you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a fun party. Ours was at the church fellowship hall (so no alcohol) and light snacks/cheese/etc. (of course, this was 38 years ago!).
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