Post by jemmls4 on Jan 7, 2017 0:33:18 GMT
Update:
so much has happened.
Week after the events described below happened, my brother and cousin's husband came down to pack her stuff up. DS and I drive her car out there and I decide to suck it up and help load the last stuff up (I was at work all day so I was not able to be there earlier). Get to my mom's apartment and my cousin is there. AWKWARD. So at one point just she and I are in the apartment and she had the balls to say that I could be charged with elder abuse. Let's just say my face did all the talking and she backed off on that real quick. Everything she brought up was easily refutable and I kind of saw a light go on like "maybe I haven't gotten the whole story". I ended up saying that she needs remember my mom likes the drama and being the center of attention.
so two weeks later, DD and I head out on Thursday night, 1/19, on our way to Women's March in D.C. We drove a few hours to get east of Indianapolis and miss rush hour traffic the next morning. Super-late, fall into bed. Next morning there's a text from 0135 from other cousin that my mom had fallen and was in hospital with bad UTI and dehydrated. I texted back to say thanks, please keep me updated, but chose not to tell my DD because we had really wanted to go to the march.
Mom's in the hospital for 5 days and then goes to skilled rehab -like she was at in Dec!!! I did talk to her day before she left to go home and got the scoop. Well, cousin #1 was with her earlier in the day before she fell and wasn't feeling well, so left my mom's place early to go home. Cousin #2 came later and found my mom on the floor. So basically because I moved my mother, with her consent, to a place where she had regular meals, nursing staff 24/7, and an emergency button for just such a thing, I should be charged with elder abuse, but the two of them are obviously not getting her to eat/drink enough, leave her alone and she falls, necessitating a hospital and rehab stay and that's OK? SMDH.
Oh, and all I got on the phone call is " I don't really blame you; it's all OK". Yeah, not in my world. Sigh. I talk to my brother to see what's happening and support him, but I'm still not at point where I can engage mom or cousins again.
At least karma is alive and well and I think that my cousins probably realize what a colossal mistake they've made. I don't really take pleasure in that my mom was sick, but I want to say to them, "I told you so!"
OP:
I've posted a lot lately about my elderly mother; my cousin "breaking" her out of skilled care and then me finally getting her into assisted living.
So today, I'm at a crop just getting myself all set to do some crafting and my phone rings and it's cousin #1 (she's been then one that has taken turns with me watching my mom when she was still staying at her condo). Yeah, well she and her sister, cousin #2 (the one that "sprung" her from skilled care and then went to Las Vegas for a week) say that my mother has something to say. I can't hear her. Eventually she gets on and says she doesn't want to be in assisted living, that I forced her to do something she didn't want, blah, blah blah. Bull hockey. We discussed at length what the options were; she could hire a person to help out - going to take 3-45 days to set up; move closer to me or one of the cousins. This assisted living thing can be temporary IF she would do something for herself. She's not as incapable as she likes to think. She was starting to interact with others, eating better, more mentally aware. Well that's all gone down the toilet.
They go on to say they are in the car and are headed back up north. WTF. I totally lost my sh!t. SHe's telling them no one has come in four days to check on her - Was there Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday; son was there Tuesday, I stopped in on Wed. and was going this afternoon. Nurse has been there twice, maintenance was there to put her other phone in. She even told me how she didn't like that so many people were in and out.
I told them I was done, that they are now responsible, I am not going up there to take care of her when there is a gap in them taking care of her. I'll mail her sh!t back to her house, take me off the health care POA. I will drive her car (and her license is expired) back there (two hours away), f$cking throw the keys in the house, and leave.
ay
I know they all think that I don't really mean it. It's been almost six hours and I'm even angrier than I was before. Brother is pissed too. He's more calm in this instance than I am and he is several states away; he's done the best he can, but with his job it's been hard for him to be here. He's helped out with getting finances in order etc. Well, as of now, I consider myself an orphan. I do not need this sh!t, and I don't want a single d@mn thing from her.
I have postponed a bunch of medical tests I need for my health issues, i have taken off over 10 days of work and worked many others from her place a lot this past month. I can't keep doing that. Ugh. Now I am drinking and eating pizza. Chocolate is next.
so much has happened.
Week after the events described below happened, my brother and cousin's husband came down to pack her stuff up. DS and I drive her car out there and I decide to suck it up and help load the last stuff up (I was at work all day so I was not able to be there earlier). Get to my mom's apartment and my cousin is there. AWKWARD. So at one point just she and I are in the apartment and she had the balls to say that I could be charged with elder abuse. Let's just say my face did all the talking and she backed off on that real quick. Everything she brought up was easily refutable and I kind of saw a light go on like "maybe I haven't gotten the whole story". I ended up saying that she needs remember my mom likes the drama and being the center of attention.
so two weeks later, DD and I head out on Thursday night, 1/19, on our way to Women's March in D.C. We drove a few hours to get east of Indianapolis and miss rush hour traffic the next morning. Super-late, fall into bed. Next morning there's a text from 0135 from other cousin that my mom had fallen and was in hospital with bad UTI and dehydrated. I texted back to say thanks, please keep me updated, but chose not to tell my DD because we had really wanted to go to the march.
Mom's in the hospital for 5 days and then goes to skilled rehab -like she was at in Dec!!! I did talk to her day before she left to go home and got the scoop. Well, cousin #1 was with her earlier in the day before she fell and wasn't feeling well, so left my mom's place early to go home. Cousin #2 came later and found my mom on the floor. So basically because I moved my mother, with her consent, to a place where she had regular meals, nursing staff 24/7, and an emergency button for just such a thing, I should be charged with elder abuse, but the two of them are obviously not getting her to eat/drink enough, leave her alone and she falls, necessitating a hospital and rehab stay and that's OK? SMDH.
Oh, and all I got on the phone call is " I don't really blame you; it's all OK". Yeah, not in my world. Sigh. I talk to my brother to see what's happening and support him, but I'm still not at point where I can engage mom or cousins again.
At least karma is alive and well and I think that my cousins probably realize what a colossal mistake they've made. I don't really take pleasure in that my mom was sick, but I want to say to them, "I told you so!"
OP:
I've posted a lot lately about my elderly mother; my cousin "breaking" her out of skilled care and then me finally getting her into assisted living.
So today, I'm at a crop just getting myself all set to do some crafting and my phone rings and it's cousin #1 (she's been then one that has taken turns with me watching my mom when she was still staying at her condo). Yeah, well she and her sister, cousin #2 (the one that "sprung" her from skilled care and then went to Las Vegas for a week) say that my mother has something to say. I can't hear her. Eventually she gets on and says she doesn't want to be in assisted living, that I forced her to do something she didn't want, blah, blah blah. Bull hockey. We discussed at length what the options were; she could hire a person to help out - going to take 3-45 days to set up; move closer to me or one of the cousins. This assisted living thing can be temporary IF she would do something for herself. She's not as incapable as she likes to think. She was starting to interact with others, eating better, more mentally aware. Well that's all gone down the toilet.
They go on to say they are in the car and are headed back up north. WTF. I totally lost my sh!t. SHe's telling them no one has come in four days to check on her - Was there Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday; son was there Tuesday, I stopped in on Wed. and was going this afternoon. Nurse has been there twice, maintenance was there to put her other phone in. She even told me how she didn't like that so many people were in and out.
I told them I was done, that they are now responsible, I am not going up there to take care of her when there is a gap in them taking care of her. I'll mail her sh!t back to her house, take me off the health care POA. I will drive her car (and her license is expired) back there (two hours away), f$cking throw the keys in the house, and leave.
ay
I know they all think that I don't really mean it. It's been almost six hours and I'm even angrier than I was before. Brother is pissed too. He's more calm in this instance than I am and he is several states away; he's done the best he can, but with his job it's been hard for him to be here. He's helped out with getting finances in order etc. Well, as of now, I consider myself an orphan. I do not need this sh!t, and I don't want a single d@mn thing from her.
I have postponed a bunch of medical tests I need for my health issues, i have taken off over 10 days of work and worked many others from her place a lot this past month. I can't keep doing that. Ugh. Now I am drinking and eating pizza. Chocolate is next.
Take care of yourself first. 
My original pea date was November 1999 and my number was 1803
I don't blame you one bit for being done. I came close to that myself with my mom and sister and the only reason I hung in was because my other siblings begged me not to and I knew my sister would bungle things up even worse than she already did. Hugs, it's not easy no matter what.
