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Post by bingcherry on Jan 27, 2017 1:13:21 GMT
This just keeps getting better and better. Some of you many remember my recent post about my divorce and my husbands "affair" and the fact that I went through his emails/apple watch. When I initially found out my husband had a "friend," the only thing I knew was her first name and that she was an anesthesiologist and the general area where she lived. Fast forward to December when I had access to his emails and his apple watch, I was able to get her full name and I also copied all the photos she had sent of herself to my husband. Two of the photos were semi risque. I did a little internet research on her, mainly out of curiosity. I even bought one of the people finders reports on her which gave me a surprising amount of information. I never once called her, emailed her, texted her or tried to contact her in any way shape or form.
My divorce was filed last week and my husband got a little bit out of hand and was texting me and threatening me. I texted him back that I knew his friend and her full name etc. So I texted him her full name and some basic information etc. I also decided to text him the photos that I had of her. Apparently I struck a nerve with him.
Today while I was at work, I received a TEXT message from a paralegal with a message stating that "due to computer stalking and misrepresentation of who you are our client will if continued prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. You have been doing this since October and currently doing so." We hope you take this seriously as our client clearly will be moving forward."
First of all I find it interesting that this came in the form of a text message and from a paralegal, not an attorney. I googled her and looked her up back in December and haven't bothered since. I had all the information I wanted. Again, this was done out of curiosity, I had absolutely no plans to contact her or do anything with the photos I have. If I wanted to contact her, I would have done so. I believe she has some sort of a high level job and is perhaps worried about the photos. Not sure.
I am so pissed about this that I might hire an attorney to fire a letter back to hers. I would assume that a valid cease and desist letter would have to come in the form of a letter mailed to my house, not a text message. Can someone really be prosecuted for cyberstalking but just looking up information. I didn't contact or harass her in any way shape or form.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,663
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jan 27, 2017 1:17:26 GMT
Wow I would be pissed! I might think about suing her for alienation of affection. (Not really)
ETA: No advice, but I feel for ya.
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Post by getting started on Jan 27, 2017 1:21:02 GMT
Sorry I don't know about the questions you asked. My advice is do not contact him or reply to contact from him. The text doesn't sound legit but it's time to stop contact since you said the divorce has been filed.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2017 1:22:03 GMT
Try to just laugh and let it go. I'd pass it on to my attorney since you are still in the process of getting a divorce but I wouldn't necessarily pursue it in any way.. more of an FYI for your attorney to use as he/she sees fit.
I got a chuckle out of the fact you are "misrepresenting who you are" really? You misrepresented yourself as his not yet divorced from wife? (sorry. I know it hurts)
eta: this is the point I started forcing ALL communication to go through my lawyer. If the stbx needed to get a message to me he had to send it to my lawyer first. Then my lawyer decided if I needed to know.
As for cyber stalking, no, looking up public information is not cyber stalking. You have not sent HER a single email or message.
cy·ber·stalk·ing
ˈsībərˌstôkiNG/
noun
the repeated use of electronic communications to harass or frighten someone, for example by sending threatening emails.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Dani-Mani on Jan 27, 2017 1:23:32 GMT
There is no way in hell I'd be texting anyone involved. And I think it's foolish for you to do so.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 27, 2017 1:24:44 GMT
So you're assuming this random number that texted you is actually who she says she is?
I feel like she's not a paralegal.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 27, 2017 1:26:52 GMT
And here's the thing.
If you can get so riled up over a likely fake *text* that you would spend actual money to hire an attorney in real life, you need to step back and calm down. Your money would be better spent on therapy.
I know that sounds harsh. But really.
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Post by bingcherry on Jan 27, 2017 1:28:04 GMT
There is no way in hell I'd be texting anyone involved. And I think it's foolish for you to do so. I never said I was going to text anyone. That was the text I received from a supposed paralegal at a law firm. I have no intention of texting anyone back because I really don't think it's legit. I want to find out if you can really send a cease and desist letter via text message. |
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Post by bingcherry on Jan 27, 2017 1:29:50 GMT
And here's the thing. If you can get so riled up over a likely fake *text* that you would spend actual money to hire an attorney in real life, you need to step back and calm down. Your money would be better spent on therapy. I know that sounds harsh. But really. The reason I am riled up is because I am sick of being threatened by my husband whom I am sure if behind this. He has obviously given someone my personal cell phone number. He is trying to intimidate me and I'm so sick of it. The only reason I would pay for an attorney to write a letter is to let them know that A: I am not stupid and B: I am not a pushover. |
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Jan 27, 2017 1:31:47 GMT
A text message from a paralegal? Hahahahaha. No. Even the wording is weird - definitely not professional.
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Post by bingcherry on Jan 27, 2017 1:35:59 GMT
A text message from a paralegal? Hahahahaha. No. Even the wording is weird - definitely not professional. I agree with the wording. It didn't sound very professional. The paralegal put the name of her lawfirm at the end of the text message. |
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Post by mom on Jan 27, 2017 1:36:14 GMT
I am 99% certain that was not sent from a real paralegal. And no, without it being in a written letter, it is not valid. She is bluffing.
I would no longer respond to any communication from your ex husband. He can go through your attorney. And I certainly would not talk/text his girlfriend.
They cannot prove you are stalking - the sites you looked at are completely legal. She is just pissed you did it.
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Post by mom on Jan 27, 2017 1:36:38 GMT
A text message from a paralegal? Hahahahaha. No. Even the wording is weird - definitely not professional. I agree with the wording. It didn't sound very professional. The paralegal put the name of her lawfirm at the end of the text message. Was it a legit law firm? |
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Post by Zee on Jan 27, 2017 1:37:21 GMT
A text message from a paralegal...Lolol nice try.
Send back your own cease-and-desist text that if you are contacted further, your attorney will step in. Then let it go.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2017 1:37:48 GMT
She's yanking your chain. She probably got one of her friends to text you, and clearly it was someone who knows nothing about legal terminology and grammar use.
I'm not an attorney, but as far as I know, there is no law against gathering information about someone - unless you do it in a way that's already against the law, such as hacking or stealing documents, etc. If the information is already public knowledge, then too bad for her. I'm assuming the people finder site gathered the info legally, as well.
Ignore her message. It's a sad attempt to intimidate you.
ETA: If your STBX is texting and threatening you, document it and give it to your attorney. Document, document, document.
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Post by mom on Jan 27, 2017 1:41:35 GMT
Also? if it were me, I would use my people finder website and look up the person who signed the cease and desist letter. Cause Im like that.
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Post by bingcherry on Jan 27, 2017 1:44:08 GMT
I agree with the wording. It didn't sound very professional. The paralegal put the name of her lawfirm at the end of the text message. Was it a legit law firm? Yes, they are a legit law firm. |
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Post by myshelly on Jan 27, 2017 1:44:43 GMT
And here's the thing. If you can get so riled up over a likely fake *text* that you would spend actual money to hire an attorney in real life, you need to step back and calm down. Your money would be better spent on therapy. I know that sounds harsh. But really. The reason I am riled up is because I am sick of being threatened by my husband whom I am sure if behind this. He has obviously given someone my personal cell phone number. He is trying to intimidate me and I'm so sick of it. The only reason I would pay for an attorney to write a letter is to let them know that A: I am not stupid and B: I am not a pushover. Well you'll really show them how not stupid you are by spending your real money on a real attorney to respond to their fake message. |
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Post by 2peaornot2pea on Jan 27, 2017 1:45:41 GMT
There is no way in hell I'd be texting anyone involved. And I think it's foolish for you to do so. I never said I was going to text anyone. That was the text I received from a supposed paralegal at a law firm. I have no intention of texting anyone back because I really don't think it's legit. I want to find out if you can really send a cease and desist letter via text message. I doubt it.
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Post by llinin on Jan 27, 2017 1:46:25 GMT
I would contact that law firm with the quickness, if she really works there see how her bosses feel about her texts. Little Miss Paralegal and his mistress think they can push you around, total bullshit. You haven't done anything wrong!
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Jan 27, 2017 1:47:08 GMT
I agree with others that this is a silly attempt by your soon-to-be-ex to intimidate you. Thank goodness you found out what you did when you did.
I don't understand why you said what you did, myshelley. I feel horrible for the OP, and I think she's handling it very well.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jan 27, 2017 1:47:09 GMT
Also? if it were me, I would use my people finder website and look up the person who signed the cease and desist letter. Cause Im like that. Me too. And the law firm. But I would keep that info to myself. Sounds like they deserve one another. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 27, 2017 1:48:27 GMT
Yeah, text messaging is not a legal way to serve someone with a cease and desist.
Ignore it or contact the law office the text said they are fron.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,032
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Post by scrappyesq on Jan 27, 2017 1:49:12 GMT
I'm an attorney. Cease and desist letters have to be sent certified mail. At least where I am.
I call shenanigans. Don't talk to anyone unless it is through your lawyer.
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Post by 2peaornot2pea on Jan 27, 2017 1:49:43 GMT
Yes, they are a legit law firm. Doesn't mean she works there. She could have used the name of any law firm to try and make the text sound legit.
ETA: Call the law firm to see if she works there. If she does, report her.
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Post by scrapsotime on Jan 27, 2017 1:52:53 GMT
I'm an attorney. Cease and desist letters have to be sent certified mail. At least where I am. I call shenanigans. Don't talk to anyone unless it is through your lawyer. It's been years since I took any paralegal classes, but is what the person sent by message even legal for a paralegal to do. I remember all kinds of rules about things a paralegal could not do because it could be considered practicing law without a license, |
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 27, 2017 1:56:27 GMT
A law firm is not going to send a cease and desist "letter" via text message from a paralegal.
My NOT LEGAL ADVICE advice is to black hole the text and to stop communicating by text with your ex. Block his number and forget about him (unless you have minor kids and have to talk to him).
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 27, 2017 1:57:38 GMT
OMG, this completely reminds me of a letter we got at work after laying off an employee. The funny thing is a good friend of a friend of DH's was dating her. He was a lawyer (not employment law) and wrote the letter as a favor fishing for a better deal. We responded declining to make any changes as, in our opinion, she had been given more than a fair termination package.
I'd say you hit a nerve when you sent the info to your ex and she is trying to intimidate you into silence. I'd just ignore it and pass it onto your attorney for information only. Or text back "hahahaha, thanks after all the stress of this divorce I needed a good laugh".
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Post by myshelly on Jan 27, 2017 1:59:12 GMT
I agree with others that this is a silly attempt by your soon-to-be-ex to intimidate you. Thank goodness you found out what you did when you did. I don't understand why you said what you did, myshelley. I feel horrible for the OP, and I think she's handling it very well. Not sure what you think I said that was bad. Blunt. But not wrong or bad. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 27, 2017 1:59:32 GMT
Keep the text on your phone and send a screenshot to your attorney. Since it was clearly not sent by a paralegal your attorney will need it in case you need ammo in the divorce. Do not respond to anything you receive just pass it all along to your lawyer.
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