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Post by SabrinaM on Jan 30, 2017 2:50:25 GMT
I'm so sorry you're struggling right now, Elaine.
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Post by friendly on Jan 30, 2017 2:54:25 GMT
I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. Wow, I am so sorry. Do you get any respite services? Separately, I think calling the President "the Fuhrer" is not helpful to the cause, it comes off very melodramatic and shuts down conversation. But it sounds like you are beyond stressed, so I'll leave it at that. Really? That's all you say? You need to apologize to Elaine. I'm sending you lots of love Elaine.
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Post by pb on Jan 30, 2017 2:55:33 GMT
Elaine, I have always admired you...you keep going and you stand for what you believe in. From this west coast pea, thank you and hugs.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Jan 30, 2017 3:02:31 GMT
/sarcasm means that I was being sarcastic. Fathers don't babysit. They parent. I understand that, but thought you were "being mean" to elaine , which makes no sense. Sorry I misunderstood! Oh no! I wasn't ever being mean. Well, maybe I was being mean to the stupid people who might say how nice it was to have a husband willing to babysit while you were off galavanting at a *whisper* Women's March or some ungodly pursuit like that.
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Post by katelynr439 on Jan 30, 2017 3:05:07 GMT
Wow, I am so sorry. Do you get any respite services? Separately, I think calling the President "the Fuhrer" is not helpful to the cause, it comes off very melodramatic and shuts down conversation. But it sounds like you are beyond stressed, so I'll leave it at that. Really? That's all you say? You need to apologize to Elaine. I'm sending you lots of love Elaine. WTF? Apologize for what? Screw off.
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Post by jillonthehill on Jan 30, 2017 3:08:30 GMT
Thank you Elaine
This has been stuck in my brain all day. Not today M-------F------!.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 30, 2017 3:16:54 GMT
elaine, I knew part of your story, but didn't know the full impact of your situation. Would it be reasonable to teach a class at night once per week, just a little something to make you feel a bit more fulfilled? I don't know your dh's work hours. You're an intelligent woman and this unbelievable stress is too much for anyone. Is your 15 year old in school during the day or is he at home full-time? My heart goes out to you.
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Post by katelynr439 on Jan 30, 2017 3:22:50 GMT
Wow, I am so sorry. Do you get any respite services? Separately, I think calling the President "the Fuhrer" is not helpful to the cause, it comes off very melodramatic and shuts down conversation. But it sounds like you are beyond stressed, so I'll leave it at that. Once every 3 months my kids get a weekend at a respite care facility, and my younger son goes on Wednesday nights - they pick him up from school (along with his classmates - he is at a special school for severe kids) and then take him in on Thursday mornings. As a Jew, I think the Fuhrer title fits and isn't melodramatic - but, I appreciate the feedback. We will agree to disagree. This is how the Holocaust started, and I won't let it happen here on my watch without kicking and screaming. Nor will my husband, even though he isn't Jewish. But, both of our boys would be considered both Jewish and Disabled, so would have been gassed under Hitler as soon as he could have crammed them into a cattle car and taken them to a concentration camp. Elaine, this article made me think of your comments: blog.dilbert.com/post/156540315831/be-careful-what-you-wish-for-especially-if-it-is
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Post by jenjie on Jan 30, 2017 3:30:15 GMT
elaine I love you. Big big hugs and a prayer for you tonight. I'm so sorry for the daily struggle your family faces. While we understand the need for respite care, I don't think it hit any of us what you and your family go through every day. That makes it all the more precious for your dh to not only tell you to go ahead and do what you feel you need to do to make your voice heard, but to join with you in taking turns both caring for your sons and letting your voices be heard. It sounds like the two of you have an incredible partnership.
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Post by elaine on Jan 30, 2017 3:51:45 GMT
elaine , I knew part of your story, but didn't know the full impact of your situation. Would it be reasonable to teach a class at night once per week, just a little something to make you feel a bit more fulfilled? I don't know your dh's work hours. You're an intelligent woman and this unbelievable stress is too much for anyone. Is your 15 year old in school during the day or is he at home full-time? My heart goes out to you. I taught night school for the first 5 years we were here - 2004-2009 - but, it was still too hard to try to get all the grading done at home - we had to get everything graded in 5 days and there were assignments due every week - in addition to planning. I do love teaching college and it is what I'm meant to do. Especially psychology and psych stats. I started teaching college psychology in 1989 when I had my masters, moved up to teaching college and grad school with my PhD and taught until 2009. Hopefully, eventually, I'll get back to it. My 15 y.o. gets on the bus at 6:45 and then back off at 2:15, so I have time to get my other son on his bus at 7:20 and then walk the dog for 2 miles and run errands. So, I do have around 5 hours to grocery shop, clean, Weight Watchers, my doc appointments, etc. Now I will work in protesting 2 days per week which will energize me. So, compared to some people with special needs kids, I am very lucky to have some time to myself. This wasn't really supposed to be a "poor me" thread. I am sorry that I succumbed to the bait of how lucky I was to have such a flexible schedule. I'd really rather not be so flexible. Being a SAHM was *never* in my game plan. But, in the end, we have to work with the hand that G-d dealt us. I'm a terrible wife and mom without those hours to run the house without kids. Probably like you, scrapmaven, I grew up going to religious school - the Jewish version of Sunday School. Starting in kindergarten, we were shown footage of the Holocaust- the Nazis documented it very well. I saw the gas chambers, the starving prisoners, the bulldozers moving mounds of starved corpses into mass graves regularly throughout my childhood and teenage years. Those images are as connected with my religion to me as the Lord's Prayer is connected to the religion of many peas here. What is happening here now is how things started in Nazi Germany. Fuhrer Trump's decision to drop any mention of the Jews from Holocaust Remembrance Day only solidifies that. If people have a problem with my calling it how I see it, I really am okay with that. I see it as their ignorance of history, not an issue on my part. I don't need to word anything to make people more open to hearing about it - if they have ears and eyes of their own, all they have to do is look at and listen to what Trump has done and said since January 20. Banning Muslims from our country, especially ones who have already gone through year(s)-long processes for Visas and green cards, is completely and totally unacceptable.
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Post by elaine on Jan 30, 2017 4:00:26 GMT
Once every 3 months my kids get a weekend at a respite care facility, and my younger son goes on Wednesday nights - they pick him up from school (along with his classmates - he is at a special school for severe kids) and then take him in on Thursday mornings. As a Jew, I think the Fuhrer title fits and isn't melodramatic - but, I appreciate the feedback. We will agree to disagree. This is how the Holocaust started, and I won't let it happen here on my watch without kicking and screaming. Nor will my husband, even though he isn't Jewish. But, both of our boys would be considered both Jewish and Disabled, so would have been gassed under Hitler as soon as he could have crammed them into a cattle car and taken them to a concentration camp. Elaine, this article made me think of your comments: blog.dilbert.com/post/156540315831/be-careful-what-you-wish-for-especially-if-it-isNah. I'd love to be a confirmed moron. I was hoping I was wrong about him, but it has been far worse than I could have imagined. Those families currently being torn apart - literally - by this ban are more important than my ego. I will be happy to be wrong when that ever appears to happen. And I have special needs teens who say and do the most inappropriate things in public - it takes more than an off-base political opinion to embarrass me. Between Trump and the average Trump critic, the one who wins the largest-ego-in-the-room contest isn't the Trump critic...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2017 4:16:57 GMT
That's great that you both have the flexibility to be able to do it! Do you work from home? I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. Wishing your deep reserves of strength and peace. Is there anything a stranger could do to help? Could I get you a Starbucks or Amazon gift card?
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Post by flanz on Jan 30, 2017 4:17:40 GMT
I think that's is awesome. Thank you and good for the two of you for being so passionate and involved. I am still kicking myself for not taking Saturday off to go to the Women's March. Cindy, you will have lots of future marches to attend if you can make them! Saturday's marches were only the beginning, loving people are rising up!
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Post by flanz on Jan 30, 2017 4:20:15 GMT
That's great that you both have the flexibility to be able to do it! Do you work from home? I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. You are such a joy and delight to us here in Refupealand, Elaine!!! I am so very sorry that you deal with such huge challenges, and especially that you might feel unsafe at times in your own home.... That must be so difficult to bear. And yet, you seem to have a great attitude. I can tell that you're a strong lady!
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 30, 2017 4:21:58 GMT
elaine , I knew part of your story, but didn't know the full impact of your situation. Would it be reasonable to teach a class at night once per week, just a little something to make you feel a bit more fulfilled? I don't know your dh's work hours. You're an intelligent woman and this unbelievable stress is too much for anyone. Is your 15 year old in school during the day or is he at home full-time? My heart goes out to you. I taught night school for the first 5 years we were here - 2004-2009 - but, it was still too hard to try to get all the grading done at home - we had to get everything graded in 5 days and there were assignments due every week - in addition to planning. I do love teaching college and it is what I'm meant to do. Especially psychology and psych stats. I started teaching college psychology in 1989 when I had my masters, moved up to teaching college and grad school with my PhD and taught until 2009. Hopefully, eventually, I'll get back to it. My 15 y.o. gets on the bus at 6:45 and then back off at 2:15, so I have time to get my other son on his bus at 7:20 and then walk the dog for 2 miles and run errands. So, I do have around 5 hours to grocery shop, clean, Weight Watchers, my doc appointments, etc. Now I will work in protesting 2 days per week which will energize me. So, compared to some people with special needs kids, I am very lucky to have some time to myself. This wasn't really supposed to be a "poor me" thread. I am sorry that I succumbed to the bait of how lucky I was to have such a flexible schedule. I'd really rather not be so flexible. Being a SAHM was *never* in my game plan. But, in the end, we have to work with the hand that G-d dealt us. I'm a terrible wife and mom without those hours to run the house without kids. Probably like you, scrapmaven , I grew up going to religious school - the Jewish version of Sunday School. Starting in kindergarten, we were shown footage of the Holocaust- the Nazis documented it very well. I saw the gas chambers, the starving prisoners, the bulldozers moving mounds of starved corpses into mass graves regularly throughout my childhood and teenage years. Those images are as connected with my religion to me as the Lord's Prayer is connected to the religion of many peas here. What is happening here now is how things started in Nazi Germany. Fuhrer Trump's decision to drop any mention of the Jews from Holocaust Remembrance Day only solidifies that. If people have a problem with my calling it how I see it, I really am okay with that. I see it as their ignorance of history, not an issue on my part. I don't need to word anything to make people more open to hearing about it - if they have ears and eyes of their own, all they have to do is look at and listen to what Trump has done and said since January 20. Banning Muslims from our country, especially ones who have already gone through year(s)-long processes for Visas and green cards, is completely and totally unacceptable. I did indeed go to religious schooI and having listened to many holocaust survivors as well as internment survivors I am concerned about our current situation. I've kept my political opinions to myself during my entire pea career, because I don't want to engage the anger that is spewed on those threads. I won't continue political posts, but I will always support a pea friend. Elaine, I'm glad that you have that time to do your thing. The most important lesson for any caretaker is to take care of yourself first. I do understand limitations and being unable to do the things that are most meaningful to you. I live w/that daily and have learned to find joy in the small stuff. Your political work will help fulfill you and you'll feel some satisfaction around it. You'll also be w/other adults and working toward a cause which is vital to you. Good for you.
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Post by pierkiss on Jan 30, 2017 4:22:13 GMT
That's great that you both have the flexibility to be able to do it! Do you work from home? I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. Big hugs Elaine. I know it is hard. I also know that you are doing a wonderful job with your sons.
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Post by elaine on Jan 30, 2017 4:22:37 GMT
I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. Wishing your deep reserves of strength and peace. Is there anything a stranger could do to help? Could I get you a Starbucks or Amazon gift card? Thank you! No, just being here to listen to me is a huge gift in itself. Honestly. People often underestimate the value of the gift of just listening and offering a supportive word.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 18:07:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2017 4:24:54 GMT
Wishing your deep reserves of strength and peace. Is there anything a stranger could do to help? Could I get you a Starbucks or Amazon gift card? Thank you! No, just being here to listen to me is a huge gift in itself. Honestly. People often underestimate the value of the gift of just listening and offering a supportive word. You are heard. Your family is in my heart.
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Post by elaine on Jan 30, 2017 4:25:15 GMT
I taught night school for the first 5 years we were here - 2004-2009 - but, it was still too hard to try to get all the grading done at home - we had to get everything graded in 5 days and there were assignments due every week - in addition to planning. I do love teaching college and it is what I'm meant to do. Especially psychology and psych stats. I started teaching college psychology in 1989 when I had my masters, moved up to teaching college and grad school with my PhD and taught until 2009. Hopefully, eventually, I'll get back to it. My 15 y.o. gets on the bus at 6:45 and then back off at 2:15, so I have time to get my other son on his bus at 7:20 and then walk the dog for 2 miles and run errands. So, I do have around 5 hours to grocery shop, clean, Weight Watchers, my doc appointments, etc. Now I will work in protesting 2 days per week which will energize me. So, compared to some people with special needs kids, I am very lucky to have some time to myself. This wasn't really supposed to be a "poor me" thread. I am sorry that I succumbed to the bait of how lucky I was to have such a flexible schedule. I'd really rather not be so flexible. Being a SAHM was *never* in my game plan. But, in the end, we have to work with the hand that G-d dealt us. I'm a terrible wife and mom without those hours to run the house without kids. Probably like you, scrapmaven , I grew up going to religious school - the Jewish version of Sunday School. Starting in kindergarten, we were shown footage of the Holocaust- the Nazis documented it very well. I saw the gas chambers, the starving prisoners, the bulldozers moving mounds of starved corpses into mass graves regularly throughout my childhood and teenage years. Those images are as connected with my religion to me as the Lord's Prayer is connected to the religion of many peas here. What is happening here now is how things started in Nazi Germany. Fuhrer Trump's decision to drop any mention of the Jews from Holocaust Remembrance Day only solidifies that. If people have a problem with my calling it how I see it, I really am okay with that. I see it as their ignorance of history, not an issue on my part. I don't need to word anything to make people more open to hearing about it - if they have ears and eyes of their own, all they have to do is look at and listen to what Trump has done and said since January 20. Banning Muslims from our country, especially ones who have already gone through year(s)-long processes for Visas and green cards, is completely and totally unacceptable. I did indeed go to religious schooI and having listened to many holocaust survivors as well as internment survivors I am concerned about our current situation. I've kept my political opinions to myself during my entire pea career, because I don't want to engage the anger that is spewed on those threads. I won't continue political posts, but I will always support a pea friend. Elaine, I'm glad that you have that time to do your thing. The most important lesson for any caretaker is to take care of yourself first. I do understand limitations and being unable to do the things that are most meaningful to you. I live w/that daily and have learned to find joy in the small stuff. Your political work will help fulfill you and you'll feel some satisfaction around it. You'll also be w/other adults and working toward a cause which is vital to you. Good for you. Thank you for getting it. All of it. You deal with daily challenges that I can't imagine myself and I admire your strength and your attitude, always.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Jan 30, 2017 4:46:49 GMT
Thank you Elaine. It means a lot to me that people are out there resisting, especially in your particular case when you already have a full plate at home. And I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you the way you had intended. And even if you aren't in the workforce right now, your education will still be put to good use these days. We need smart people making phone calls, attending town halls, questioning our representatives, etc. You are very valuable, both to your family and us.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jan 30, 2017 11:18:31 GMT
I am proud of you both.
Please be safe.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jan 30, 2017 11:33:51 GMT
That's great that you both have the flexibility to be able to do it! Do you work from home? I have 2 kids with autism - one who is low functioning. I have to dress him every day and bathe him every evening, and have for all of his 15 years - I have only had days off for my surgeries. And I deal with the once-a-day occurrence of him grabbing a chef's knife from the kitchen and threatening me with it when I tell him "no" to his request to buy something or another for him. The latest is a $250 limited edition WdW Magic Band 2.0. Needless to say, that is my work right now. When I was getting him on the bus, driving 45 minutes to my school district job working for 4 hours and then driving back, I had no patience for him or my other son or my husband and the whole family suffered. So, now my work is in-the-home managing him. I am beyond despair some days that all my education, training and experience is a waste right now. I never pictured myself not working full-time. If I could work outside of my hellish home, I would. A million hugs to you elaine---YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
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Post by verdepea on Jan 30, 2017 11:53:51 GMT
This has been stuck in my brain all day. Not today M-------F------!. [/quote]
This has been resonating through my mind as well since I have heard it.
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pyccku
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,817
Jun 27, 2014 23:12:07 GMT
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Post by pyccku on Jan 30, 2017 12:31:24 GMT
Believe me, I would love to be a confirmed moron in this case. I would love to find out that Trump is a great guy and a great president and he brings peace and prosperity to everyone in this country.
So far in one week he's managed to: alienate our allies threaten trade wars with our biggest trading partners poke the puppy in China so that they are rumbling that war is becoming more likely hurt people who are legally in the US by signing an order that was not even vetted by the DHS or legal counsel (extreme vetting? Yeah, right!) Appointed many people to his cabinet who are unqualified and have the capacity to do great harm to the ares they represent Shown a willingness to muzzle anyone whose opinion he doesn't like, leading to leaks and rogue accounts galore Appoint a white supremacist to a position that he is utterly unqualified for and removing people from the NSC who should be there show us that rather than working to learn a job that he isn't prepared for, he watches Fox news and then regurgitates their talking points on twitter
And there's still the issue of the Putin connections.
I would love to see him turn around after the first week and become a 'serious' president who is thoughtful. He promised to get "the very best" advisors. He hasn't. He is not a politician and knows nothing of how things in politics get done. It's not like a business, you can't just threaten and bash people over the head to get your way. He could show some humility and willingness to work to learn the ropes. But he won't, because he's already the smartest and the best and the most wonderful.
My husband came here as a political asylum seeker in the 1980's. It was a major disruption to his life. He's FURIOUS that he even has to think about dealing with this crap again. We don't want to spend our weekends protesting. We don't want to spend our time watching to see what horrible thing the government is going to do today. Our family has a life, and we have plans. All of those will be disrupted if it gets worse, because that will likely mean even more protests (best case scenario) or leaving the country (worst case scenario - but it is definitely an option for us).
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2017 12:59:28 GMT
I'm so proud to 'know' you Elaine. DH and I were talking today about protests and marches....apart from being in the UK, it's really difficult/expensive for us to get to London, but I think we might try and go to some. There are marches/protests all over the UK today and tomorrow, and I'm sure there'll be more in the coming weeks/months.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Jan 30, 2017 13:02:41 GMT
I'm so proud to 'know' you Elaine. DH and I were talking today about protests and marches....apart from being in the UK, it's really difficult/expensive for us to get to London, but I think we might try and go to some. There are marches/protests all over the UK today and tomorrow, and I'm sure there'll be more in the coming weeks/months. [br Yeah since I posted I have found out about some things happen locally so I will try and support them. I did wonder if we would be like that remote US community where 15 people marched 😁
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 18:07:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2017 13:06:22 GMT
There are marches/protests all over the UK today and tomorrow, and I'm sure there'll be more in the coming weeks/months. [br Yeah since I posted I have found out about some things happen locally so I will try and support them. I did wonder if we would be like that remote US community where 15 people marched 😁 I'm not an American citizen, but my DH and kids are. We're currently expats in Tokyo. I marched last week and I'll be protesting outside the US embassy tomorrow morning!!
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Post by MommyofTriplets on Jan 30, 2017 15:35:27 GMT
Elaine, I just want to say that I hear you. I also have two special needs kids - one who requires full assistance with daily living - and had to give up a career I worked hard for to manage things at home. It sounds like you and your DH make a good team. I definitely lucked out in the DH department. There's really no point to my post other than to say that I see you and hear you and appreciate that you're also standing up for what's right and making it work with your everyday life. Amy
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Post by annaintx on Jan 30, 2017 22:55:18 GMT
I understand that, but thought you were "being mean" to elaine , which makes no sense. Sorry I misunderstood! Oh no! I wasn't ever being mean. Well, maybe I was being mean to the stupid people who might say how nice it was to have a husband willing to babysit while you were off galavanting at a *whisper* Women's March or some ungodly pursuit like that. Oh I hear you, my DH doesn't babysit, thank god.
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
Jun 26, 2014 3:33:18 GMT
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Jan 30, 2017 23:09:23 GMT
To me, your referring to Trump as the Fuhrer minimizes what the Jews went through. Funny that you call him anti-Semitic while doing so.
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