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Post by 950nancy on Feb 12, 2017 16:26:37 GMT
Yeah, sounds like an invitation to help boost her sales. Go if you want to, but don't feel obligated in the slightest. I'm on this bench. While it might restart the friendship, it also sounds like she was trying to seat fill. I hate those parties so I wouldn't go.
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Post by coloradocropper on Feb 12, 2017 16:38:00 GMT
You realize this was an invitation with an agenda, right? Don't fall prey to being used. There's nothing to feel guilty about.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,560
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Member is Online
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Feb 12, 2017 16:44:53 GMT
At first I thought you meant her 31st birthday party. I'd go to that. But not to a sales party. Until I was reading a few responses I must still be asleep because I had to read OP twice before I got that the word birthday was missing. A MLM party just for my sales dollars no thanks! I have problems with friends not talking that often and coming in and out of each others lives. But in again shouldn't be for money.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Feb 12, 2017 16:46:35 GMT
Thanks....I think I'm reading too much into it...and I do miss her...but feel like we could reconnect on another level, this isn't it... ya, if you really wanna reconnect, it won't be at this party. she is the host - the only person usually who knows everyone. i always feel like i have to reach out and meet new people at parties like this since the host is busy and i cannot monopolize her time. you reconnect on a phone call, a dinner or a coffee date. she threw out as many hooks as possible. you are one of those hooks, so don't feel one little bit bad. i had two former colleagues try to friend me on FB. in both cases, we hadn't worked together in at least 6-7 years.... but do have mutual friends. in both cases, within hours of accepted friend request, i was invited to their arbonne parties. yah, quickly unfriended.
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Post by annabella on Feb 12, 2017 16:51:18 GMT
I thought this was a birthday party too, then no don't go to a sales party.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Feb 12, 2017 17:00:51 GMT
I wouldn't go. But I never go to those types of parties.
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 12, 2017 17:09:04 GMT
Will try and keep short... Had a friend for a good 2-3 years. Met thru a mutual...we lead different lives, she's single, all about her job and riding horses....I'm married, active teens, etc...but nonetheless, we were friends, did alot, etc.... Well this past early summer we kind of drifted...I really didn't think there was a "reason"...reached out a few times, but then thought "im always the one reaching". So we went months and didn't talk. Never heard from her when big things occured....surgeries, dad in ICU, etc...(when most friends would just say, how are you?) Anyway...2 weeks ago I get an invite to her 31 party...I hesitated replying...finally broke down and texted her..oh sorry I was distant, etc...hope to see you, been to long! And that was it. About 10% of me wanted to go...rest of me feels like just someone else to hopefully buy something from her party (which I can't do even if I went) Not sure if I'm asking a question, or just venting! I'm single, all about my job and riding horses and the majority of my friends are married with kids of various ages. So I get where the disconnect can be. With my friendships it's always me inviting others, me planning activities, me being cancelled on constantly because of kid/babysitter issues. So I totally get this scenario. My initial reaction was "You should totally go! Have fun and reconnect with your friend" but then I read a couple sentences more and realized it's not her 31st birthday but a home sales party for 31 bags. Meh. I still say go if you want and say hi but don't feel obligated to buy anything and feel free to leave whenever you're over it.
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Post by leannec on Feb 12, 2017 17:13:36 GMT
She is looking for sales If there is nothing that you want to buy then don't go ... It sucks when friendships go this way but I've been there ... just let it go
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Feb 12, 2017 17:20:21 GMT
no way in hell
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Post by maryland on Feb 12, 2017 17:22:23 GMT
No, I wouldn't go. But if you really want to go, go and have fun.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 12, 2017 18:03:17 GMT
Sorry really no answers for you, but I think you should only go if you really wanted to and not feel guilty about it. I did want to say though that I think she was in a tough place where if she didn't invite you would you be a little hurt that a "friend" was having a party and didn't invite you? If she didn't, wouldn't you assume she really didn't consider you as a friend? But since she has you are now questioning that she is only doing it for a gift grab, I guess I think that she wasn't going to win no matter which way she went. ETA - forget my response I totally misread this and thought it was her 31st birthday party. Don't go! LOL so did I at first!
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Post by jenjie on Feb 12, 2017 18:08:51 GMT
If I really wanted to rekindle the relationship, I would respond with a "can't be there at that time but would you want to meet for lunch ______" be specific on the date and time for lunch. Don't just say, "Let's get together for lunch soon." I've found that vague response never actually gets it done.
If I didn't want to rekindle the relationship, I would just respond with a "sorry...can't be there. Good luck with your party"
I just did this the other day! I reached out to a friend, we haven't seen each other or talked in a long time. Just saying hey I love and miss you, hope you're doing well. She responds in kind, and with a vibe that says I'd love to see you sometime but it's doubtful. Just hey we both care but neither really putting in effort. An hour later I see a meme on fb that says "my friends and I have this awesome tradition where we remind each other how overdue we are to hang out, and then don't." I sent it to her with the words, "let's not be those people." She asks, "how about Tuesday?" We had a great visit.
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Post by ceepea on Feb 12, 2017 19:39:46 GMT
No, I wouldn't go. I would probably tell her I would look at the catalogue and order through her if I saw something I wanted.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Feb 12, 2017 19:50:19 GMT
Nope
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 12, 2017 19:52:10 GMT
Yeah, sounds like an invitation to help boost her sales. Go if you want to, but don't feel obligated in the slightest. This.
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Post by anniefb on Feb 12, 2017 20:09:08 GMT
Don't over think this. If you want to go, go, If not, then don't.
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Post by bosoxbeth on Feb 12, 2017 20:21:58 GMT
Sounds like she is trying to increase her sales.
I would reply that I couldn't go, but would she like to make a coffee date soon to catch up?
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Post by k8smom on Feb 12, 2017 20:25:12 GMT
Nope. The older you get the clearer it becomes that no one has time for fair weather friends.
I used to be so close to one friend that we likened ourselves to sisters, we did everything together for years. Then she remarried into serious money and as a result of her lifestyle change, her activities changed. We sill went through the motions for a few more years but like you, I found I was always the one putting the effort into the relationship.
The final straw was she took me to lunch one year for my birthday, and asked me the same questions three times about my kids, took personal calls on her cell phone, and I left feeling like I certainly wasn't a priority.
I wasn't angry, just stopped being the one to reach out. I didn't hear from her for months and haven't seen her since. I still get invited to graduations, weddings, etc, but I don't go.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Feb 12, 2017 20:39:03 GMT
If I were genuinely interested in the product, or there were people there I wanted to see beyond the hostess, I might go.
Otherwise, no. I'd do as others suggested and say no, but invite her for coffee or lunch, if you want to try to reconnect. Again, though - as suggested, be specific and suggest a couple actual dates. If you're vague, it won't go anywhere.
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Post by lisae on Feb 12, 2017 21:48:46 GMT
I just responded in the 31 thread that I resent being asked to someone's house to buy something. So no, I wouldn't go. I like the suggestions to invite her to meet for lunch or something the two of you used to enjoy doing.
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Post by giatocj on Feb 12, 2017 22:38:26 GMT
I would not.
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