eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Feb 18, 2017 20:55:06 GMT
At a children's gym, this little girl who looks 3 or 4 is yelling, "I want my mommy." Then, starts playing with another little girl. Their conversation is all about vaginas. Soon, they start running while screaming vagina. I asked the small group of parents if C's (we all know her name as she tells everyone her name) parent is there hoping that maybe dad or g-ma was there. Nobody answers. The gym worker comes out and redirects the child's behavior. Soon enough C is screaming and has been injured. I ask the worker where mom is and she says, "probably in the coffee shop" which is two doors down. I slam my stuff in my bag and go get the damn woman.
I tell her that C has been hurt. She is all of a sudden VERY interested and gathers her stuff quickly. She is sitting all alone, two businesses down, eating her salad, drinking her coffee while reading her kindle. I turn on my heal and leave. She comes up behind me and says, "has she been naughty?" I say, "well yes, she has been running around talking about her vagina." Mom says, "Oh goodness."
When we left, I made a complaint with the manager. I want to give this mom some slack but week after week I've just seen her ignore this poor child while she is engrossed in whatever else she has going on. While I complained to the manager I just want to yell at that mom and really call CPS (I'm a mandated reporter... but I have no clue their last name and gym manager wouldn't give it to me.) She left her, at best, 4 year old unattended in a business while she went to a different business two doors down to drink, eat and read. WTF? And it wasn't for a few minutes. I went and got her 40 minutes into it. That was today. Last week, she was standing on the tables and chairs while a random dad played with her so she wouldn't get hurt. She has sat on my lap and helped me work on my laptop at least 3 times or I've played games with her on my phone. Mom never talks to me - and yet her kid just climbs up on my lap. Wouldn't you freak out if your kid climbed up into a stranger's lap? Mom is always either on her phone, reading a book or reading her kindle. Completely and utterly checked out from her kid week after week after week.
Manager was wise enough to instantly realize the liability so hopefully they will take care of it but holy cow. That class time works well for my family but I'm considering a change just so we don't have to deal with that mom! Part of me is torn in wanting to have some compassion for her too. Who knows if she is a night nurse and hasn't slept or something like that, but week after week, after week??
ETA: this child is NOT in a class. She is the sibling of the child who is taking a class.
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Post by peano on Feb 18, 2017 21:02:08 GMT
If the manager of this place does not tell the woman that she needs to remain on the premises while her daughter is playing then I would tell the manager that as a mandated reporter, you feel it necessary to call CPS the next time you see the girl unsupervised. I don't know why you feel it is a big deal that the girl is talking about vaginas--it's just a body part.
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 18, 2017 21:04:07 GMT
Why is the gym staff allowing her to leave? I worked at a gym with a childcare room and we absolutely never let a parent leave the premises. I had to wrangle a mom back inside when she left to take a phone call outside, we were that strict. I'm not sure I would attend a business with such lax views on parental supervision.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 18, 2017 21:04:51 GMT
At a children's gym, this little girl who looks 3 or 4 is yelling, "I want my mommy." Then, starts playing with another little girl. Their conversation is all about vaginas. Soon, they start running while screaming vagina. I asked the small group of parents if C's (we all know her name as she tells everyone her name) parent is there hoping that maybe dad or g-ma was there. Nobody answers. The gym worker comes out and redirects the child's behavior. Soon enough C is screaming and has been injured. I ask the worker where mom is and she says, "probably in the coffee shop" which is two doors down. I slam my stuff in my bag and go get the damn woman. I tell her that C has been hurt. She is all of a sudden VERY interested and gathers her stuff quickly. She is sitting all alone, two businesses down, eating her salad, drinking her coffee while reading her kindle. I turn on my heal and leave. She comes up behind me and says, "has she been naughty?" I say, "well yes, she has been running around talking about her vagina." Mom says, "Oh goodness." When we left, I made a complaint with the manager. I want to give this mom some slack but week after week I've just seen her ignore this poor child while she is engrossed in whatever else she has going on. While I complained to the manager I just want to yell at that mom and really call CPS (I'm a mandated reporter... but I have no clue their last name and gym manager wouldn't give it to me.) She left her, at best, 4 year old unattended in a business while she went to a different business two doors down to drink, eat and read. WTF? And it wasn't for a few minutes. I went and got her 40 minutes into it. That was today. Last week, she was standing on the tables and chairs while a random dad played with her so she wouldn't get hurt. She has sat on my lap and helped me work on my laptop at least 3 times or I've played games with her on my phone. Mom never talks to me - and yet her kid just climbs up on my lap. Wouldn't you freak out if your kid climbed up into a stranger's lap? Mom is always either on her phone, reading a book or reading her kindle. Completely and utterly checked out from her kid week after week after week. Manager was wise enough to instantly realize the liability so hopefully they will take care of it but holy cow. That class time works well for my family but I'm considering a change just so we don't have to deal with that mom! Part of me is torn in wanting to have some compassion for her too. Who knows if she is a night nurse and hasn't slept or something like that, but week after week, after week?? Just to clarify, is the child being dropped off for a class? Are parents required to stay? If the answers to those questions are yes & no, I'd complain to the management about not keeping the child in the class and on task. It is not up to every other parent in the place to babysit her. |
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969 
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Post by AnotherPea on Feb 18, 2017 21:09:06 GMT
I think I need a bit more info before I become incensed. Like the PP stated, if this is an actual class, then its not the mother's job to supervise and manage. It is the teacher's. Not getting what is so naughty about saying vagina either.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 20, 2024 22:15:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2017 21:18:53 GMT
Is she required to stay or is it a supervised class? The vagina talk is not naughty imo, no different than mentioning a wrist or ankle.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 18, 2017 21:23:30 GMT
I am guessing there isn't a class if the gym worker has to come out to redirect her. If she is climbing in other parents' laps, she is being a pain. It sounds like an open gym for little kids. I would be pissed. Anyone who hangs out there knows this kid could easily be taken by someone else. No way would I have left my maybe four year old in another building without proper supervision. And I was pretty easy going as a parent. Sounds like mom is looking for some free time.
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Post by myshelly on Feb 18, 2017 21:25:45 GMT
Are parents required to stay at this business?
If the staff is allowing her to drop off repeatedly, then it sounds like drop offs are allowed.
So how in the world could that be CPS worthy?
I don't think the vagina talk is naughty or indicative of anything. It wouldn't bother me.
IMO, the mom needs to be addressed by management. Not you. And most certainly not CPS.
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 18, 2017 21:32:26 GMT
That would drive me nuts and I'm shocked the gym allows it because of liability problems.
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Post by littlemama on Feb 18, 2017 21:38:13 GMT
The gym should have been the one to figure out where the mother was and retrieved her. That type of mom is exactly the type to sue if something happens to her precious snowflake. As for screaming "vagina", well, that is not really a body part that most people talk about in public, much less scream about in front of other small children.
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Post by busy on Feb 18, 2017 21:44:14 GMT
It is the gym's responsibility to either control the child or require the mother to be on premises. It sounds to me like they allow drop-offs, if not in written policy, in actual practice, so if they are not managing that well, it's them I'd be frustrated with, not the mother.
As far as saying vagina - I don't care. Yelling is annoying, regardless of the word.
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Post by melanell on Feb 18, 2017 21:56:17 GMT
We have drop-off kiddie gyms around here. Is that the kind of place this is? Those same drop-off places also allow parents to come in with their kids and pay for an hour of free play. So you can easily have kids there who have their parents around and those that do not, but that's the whole idea behind the place. Sometimes they have actual structured classes, but sometimes they have time slots set up to basically be babysitters while mom & dad go out. The time is even advertised as such.
Without more info, I'm not sure who is really supposed to be watching the child---the staff or the mom. If staff is redirecting her, it makes me lean towards the staff being in charge of her. If the staff is not supposed to be responsible for her, the parent is supposed to stay, and the parent isn't, then it's certainly the staff's job to go get the mother back and not let her keep doing this. Since they know where the parent is and are not getting her back (and continuing to let her leave the child), it seems as though she's not doing anything that they have a problem with.
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Post by melanell on Feb 18, 2017 22:03:37 GMT
As for "vagina", I much prefer a child being taught to use that (even if it's technically wrong for the body part they are sometimes describing----I find kids are often taught "vagina" in place of "vulva", but that's another thread) instead of making up some nonsense word. Kids often go through phases when they just love to talk about their vagina, their penis, their butt, etc.
And if the setting isn't deemed appropriate for that, then we're back to needing to know who is technically supposed to be watching her at the time in order to move her on to a new subject.
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Post by refugeepea on Feb 18, 2017 22:05:41 GMT
Without more info, I'm not sure whose to blame? Was the mother required to be there or was the gym people in charge of this children's class? Either way, I'd have no patience for C. I have one of "those kids" too that is high maintenance and I'm hyper vigilant when in public.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Feb 18, 2017 22:07:05 GMT
To clarify, this is the sibling of a kid in a class. Drop offs for the lobby are not permitted. To leave as a parent of a child in class you have to sign out. This mom did not do that either for what it is worth.
A three or four year old screaming about vaginas isn't all that scary to me. Inappropriate yes. Especially in the context she was using it. Such as "look" in the same sentence.
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Post by maryland on Feb 18, 2017 22:14:15 GMT
The gym should have been the one to figure out where the mother was and retrieved her. That type of mom is exactly the type to sue if something happens to her precious snowflake. As for screaming "vagina", well, that is not really a body part that most people talk about in public, much less scream about in front of other small children. I agree! I think it is the gyms responsibility to get the parent, not other customer's responsibility. About the yelling out body parts, I remember once at a park a boy was yelling out his body parts and his dad did tell him to stop. I think it made him embarrassed. But from the replies here, it doesn't seem to bother most. My girls definitly embarrassed me in public when they were that age!  |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Feb 18, 2017 22:18:54 GMT
I think calling CPS is a bit extreme... but the issue is the management of the gym need to talk to the mother.. it's really none of your business. Unless the kid climbs in your lap!
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Post by julieinsweden on Feb 18, 2017 22:20:41 GMT
To clarify, this is the sibling of a kid in a class. What the hell. I can totally understand if mom went for a coffee whilst older kids is in gym supervised by the teachers. I've done that when kid has been mature enough to know that he has to stay with his class and that I'll be back in 5 with my coffee. But to abandon a tag along kid that is not actually in the class is shocking. And a four year old! You are validated. |
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Post by refugeepea on Feb 18, 2017 22:22:07 GMT
To clarify, this is the sibling of a kid in a class. Drop offs for the lobby are not permitted. To leave as a parent of a child in class you have to sign out. This mom did not do that either for what it is worth. I think I would have went to management instead of the mother then. I admit to being chicken shit and not liking confrontation. Complain to the business, if nothing is done, possibly go to the mother.  |
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Feb 18, 2017 22:23:33 GMT
So, mom is dropping her older child at class and treating the lobby like it is a drop in daycare for the younger sibling?
I'd be raising a stink with the manager, too. That mom is completely irresponsible.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969
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Post by AnotherPea on Feb 18, 2017 22:57:21 GMT
Since it is the sibling I'd be concerned about the child. Not CPS worthy since clearly the gym has no problem with the mother assigning care to that child as well. My beef would be more with the gym than the child and parent, however. Seems like they're too chicken to confront the mother. Shame on them. Mother is taking advantage of a situation and child needs to learn some manners.
That being said, you can't really blame either the mother or the child for keeping a good thing going. You and the other parents are entertaining the child while the mother enjoys some alone time. If you're inconvenienced by the behavior, by all means say something to the mother and child. Marching out and scolding the mother might be a bit much. Calling CPS is way over the top, but telling the child to go find her mother would be a good step the next time she tries to crawl into your lap.
I took my child out of a class because a classmate's sibling was so annoying in the waiting area. However, that kid had his mother in the waiting area with him. @@. If the gym doesn't come up with some policies to prevent this from happening again, you'd be justified in leaving it.
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Post by melanell on Feb 18, 2017 23:47:44 GMT
With the update I would say that this whole situation falls into the management's lap to correct. My guess is that one day mom asked if the little sibling could stay and some employee said "sure!" thinking they were being kind or providing good customer service or whatever and it has now turned into a habit for the mom and a problem for many others. Which, imo, means it's time for people to complain to management and for management to put an end to it.
I definitely don't think it's the place of any other parent to go get this woman and I definitely don't see it as CPS worthy, because at this point, my gut tells me that the business has yet to mention to the mom that she can't do this anymore.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,785
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Feb 18, 2017 23:56:24 GMT
I've been in similar situations & understand your frustration. However, I suggest you handle it differently in the future.
You are the customer & not responsible for others' children. Since staff members know where the mom is located during the class, they could easily go get her at any time. They chose not to & risk alienating other paying customers.
Lodge a complaint with the staff about the disruptive & unsupervised toddler in the lobby every time, do not assume responsibility/scold/redirect/entertain the child or update/retrieve the mom, & let the staff handle it. If not to your satisfaction, you'll have to chose whether to change class times or gyms.
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