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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 10, 2017 15:54:45 GMT
I married my H.S. sweetheart. Married for over a decade. Always waited to scrap our wedding because I wanted to do it just perfect. He ended up leaving me and divorcing me before I ever scrapped the photos. And now I just can't scrap them.  And it's sad, because I looked pretty, and he was handsome, and we had a cake and guests and flowers and..... I wish I had done them then, instead of waiting until it was perfect. I just always thought I'd have more time. |
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Post by iheartpaper on Mar 10, 2017 16:18:11 GMT
Hugs! Can you scrapbook some of the pictures while telling stories? Maybe focus on what your hopes and dreams were or how happy the children you had together make you? Or box them all up...lol.
Not in the same way, but I think my creativity is missing because I haven't scrapped much this year. I don't seem to be able to do anything but make kits, organize and shop.
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Post by Linda on Mar 10, 2017 16:19:55 GMT
(((((Hugs))))
Perhaps in the future you can scrap them...just because the marriage didn't last doesn't mean that you can't keep the memories of the good times and the beautiful bride that you were. For now - the ending may be overshadowing the beginning but with time, you might be able to look back and preserve the good memories.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129 
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Mar 10, 2017 16:25:30 GMT
I have no advice but I am so sorry.  |
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Elsabelle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,612
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Post by Elsabelle on Mar 10, 2017 16:42:20 GMT
I'm sorry. I can't imagine the conflicting feelings about the pictures. Maybe you just need more time to find a little more peace about everything before you scrap them.
I forgot to add that I do have pictures that I haven't scrapped and probably won't. The feelings are too raw and I accept that they might always be.
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Post by anniefb on Mar 10, 2017 16:46:37 GMT
Sorry I agree with what Elsabelle said about maybe needing more time. I'd just put them away for now and focus on other photos. |
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 10, 2017 17:24:11 GMT
I just finished scrapping my marriage to my first husband and I've been married to DH2 for 29 years. I didn't have all that many photos but I liked the pages I did. If I had children with DH1 I would have made some enlargements and scrapped them as a wedding album for the kids to have but those I did are just pages in my California years project.
I guess it is sadness or something else getting in the way of scrapping those pictures, so just put them aside and work on something else. Someday you may pick them up and scrap them or if the two of you had children maybe one of your children will want to scrap them or put them in an album.
Now there is a much less emotional batch of photos I took that I never have scrapped. I went to Atlantic City for a week and took some really fun casino, boardwalk and beach photos and they are still sitting in an envelope to be scrapped 'someday.' I know when I do finally scrap them I will toss at least half of them because how many photos do you really need of the same thing?
I also recently found an envelope with a few photos of my grandfather who has been gone 6 years tomorrow. They were taken on the Thanksgiving maybe a year before he passed away, and my mom gave them to me. They would be easy to scrap but for some reason they fell to the side.
If you really think they should be scrapped then maybe look at it like you are doing the project for someone else. Forget about journaling. Don't include the pics that make you feel like you just don't need them. when I did my first wedding I did not include any pics of DH1 that I wasn't in except one of his entire family. If we had kids I would have though. |
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Post by grammadee on Mar 10, 2017 18:17:45 GMT
I can't scrap anything when I am unhappy, so I totally understand how you feel about those photos. I agree with others' comments: put these pic's away for now. Maybe make up a kit of pretty papers and embellishments you want to use with them "someday". There may be a time, like myboysnme had, when you can simply look on this as part of your history you want to scrap. You can journal about your loss of the dream--or not. Just journal about the dream itself--or not. Or just comment on how young and pretty you were--or not. Maybe just let the photos and a few 5WH details speak for themselves. ((((Hugs))))) |
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croppindoc
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by croppindoc on Mar 11, 2017 1:40:13 GMT
I completely understand. I just got through with a very toxic divorce and there are so many pictures I never scrapped. I still have the papers and ideas in my head of particular pictures but I never scrapped them. I went through a period where I collected a lot of supplies and kept putting off the actual scrapping. I realize now, looking back, that I was trying to convince myself that the memories were not painful. It was a bad marriage for a very long time. IM pretty sure I will never scrap those photos and instead I am busy making new memories with my children and new love. Scrapbooking is helping me get through the times when my kids aren't with me. Its been very therapeutic. And Im getting pages done and supplies used up. Ive remembered why I fell in love with this hobby.
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nylene
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,469
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Post by nylene on Mar 11, 2017 1:52:29 GMT
I am so sorry that this has happened. I totally understand. Did you have children together? If so, they would probably enjoy seeing them scrapped at some point. My son and his first wife divorced with some bitter feelings, but I have kept all the photos and the pages I did to offer them to their son who lives with his dad. He's a Senior in H.S. and has shown some interest in them even now. Give yourself time. I agree with grammadee, I can't scrap when I'm sad. Hugs. |
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Post by mich0222 on Mar 11, 2017 2:02:43 GMT
Just a suggestion, why don't you just scrap the photos of yourself dressed pretty. Just a few photos and then put it aside in a box in case you want to see the photos again. You don't even have to journal. Just make it a pretty page and photo.
Only suggesting this so you can do a little scrapping and put it to rest.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Mar 11, 2017 2:31:36 GMT
Sorry you are going through this.
I haven't done my wedding photos and don't plan to I'm not in a happy place in my marriage and like others said can't scrap when I'm unhappy about the thing I'm supposed to scrap.
I used to loved doing layouts but I really struggle doing them the past few years because my personal life is in the toilet. If I do scrap I do photos I only have good memories of and that's ok.
You have to do what you're comfortable with!
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 11, 2017 2:35:18 GMT
Just a suggestion, why don't you just scrap the photos of yourself dressed pretty. Just a few photos and then put it aside in a box in case you want to see the photos again. You don't even have to journal. Just make it a pretty page and photo. Only suggesting this so you can do a little scrapping and put it to rest. I agree. And since you wouldn't want to cut up your originals, I would scan any photos of the two of you and then crop him out. Just scrap you as a beautiful bride and put the rest of the photos away. |
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Post by scrapaddict702 on Mar 11, 2017 2:57:37 GMT
Have you tried just scrapping a wedding themed page without a specific photo in mind and then going back and picking a photo...that way, your inspiration is playing with supplies, not the sadness you feel when looking back on the photos.
Kind of related, but not...I haven't fully scrapbooked my wedding. I had the photos printed and put them into a photo album, but decided in 2015 when my husband had a day off to start working on assembling a full fledged album...that was the only day it got worked on. We got most of the things that happened prior to the ceremony organized in divided pockets (I'm not doing anything 12x12) but that was about it, lol. Ohhhh, I also did the cover page. We were marred in 2009.
My niece got married in 2014 (my first year of doing PL) and I included a few pages focused on her wedding. At the time, I thought it was funny that I had her wedding scrapbooked before my own (although, there weren't really photos of her friends or anything since I didn't know them...but the entire evening was recorded minus people that were unimportant to me). It ended up not being such a bad thing after all. I managed to get it all done before her marriage fell apart and while they are still legally married, they aren't together and things pretty much started falling apart not long after she was married anyway (he went from 'courting' to treating her like she was his golden ticket). So, it probably would have been strange to do something with those photos after they split...even though they were already having issues by the time I finished that week's pages. Most likely, I would have ignored the ceremony so as to not include photos of him and not done a title card that had both of their last names on it...the rest of what I recorded was focused on my family (my kids, husband, mom, sisters, brother and niece) and that wouldn't have changed. It was the last event that everyone was at together (minus my dad, who was already in long term care and only a few months shy of passing away) and important for that alone.
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on Mar 11, 2017 3:05:30 GMT
The wedding photos of my first wedding are in a nice album. I've had the paper to redo the pictures for about 13 years but just haven't gotten around to scrapping the pictures. I'm going to use the originals but NOT attach permanently, will use the corner slot punches. I'm going to do all the pictures but his face will be hidden by die cut shapes. I actually kept my MIL and SIL in the divorce!  It has been so long ago but I don't want to see his face but I've got great pictures of my family and want them in a nice album so I can see everyone that came except the groom. This isn't for everyone but it will work for me. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 11, 2017 12:05:37 GMT
Can you scrapbook some of the pictures while telling stories? Maybe focus on what your hopes and dreams were or how happy the children you had together make you? Or box them all up...lol. Well, They are all safe, and in a regular photo album. Thank you ladies for such wonderful advice. I do have hope that someday, maybe, I might scrap them from a distanced perspective, almost like I was doing it for someone else. It's weird, but I guess some of the sadness lies in the fact that I always was looking forward to a huge wedding scrapbook project, and now I feel cheated out of doing it in a happy, love-filled way, ya know? Picking the perfect papers, all the right embellishments, etc. And who would I show this to now? Sadly, at this point, he has chosen to not be in our children's lives, and they are angry and bitter at him for it. So, I don't think they'd enjoy the photos at this point. |
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 11, 2017 15:10:32 GMT
Just a suggestion, why don't you just scrap the photos of yourself dressed pretty. Just a few photos and then put it aside in a box in case you want to see the photos again. You don't even have to journal. Just make it a pretty page and photo. Only suggesting this so you can do a little scrapping and put it to rest. This is a great idea. ETA I just read that the kids aren't happy with him, so maybe this isn't the right time. I never got around to scrapbooking DS's wedding. I made photo books for the couple and the grandparents, but planned to do a traditional scrapbook for myself. I like the idea of doing one for their children. |
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Post by justjac on Mar 11, 2017 15:35:25 GMT
I have some pages I scrapped about my ex-bf and me and some pictures I didn't get to before we broke up. I will never scrap them. Partially because it's not like it's from significant events or anything. Just a couple of camping trips etc. I did end up with a lot of unused camping paper in my stash. Partially it's because I've moved on and he doesn't matter anymore.
I also have my cousin's wedding unscrapped because they broke up before I got to it. I might scrap the pic of my immediate family and just leave the rest.
I agree with everyone that you need to do what feels right for you and your kids. I completely understand feeling cheated out of scrapping it. There's such an amazing feeling when you have pictures you love and supplies you love to scrapbook a happy memory.
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jaffa
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by jaffa on Mar 11, 2017 18:57:23 GMT
I'm in a very similar situation. I didn't start scrapbooking until my youngest was two. You nailed it when you said it's like the loss of a project... another thing that has been stolen from you.
My wedding photos will just stay in the box. In the unlikely event I ever decide to scrapbook them, they'll still be there. I don't feel like it's something I have to do.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying my time with my kids (DD won't stay with her dad at all, and DS is with him 4 nights a month), and making new opportunities for scrapbook pages.
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Post by melanell on Mar 12, 2017 15:46:57 GMT
I have a few weddings that didn't get scrapped before the marriage ended. In my case it's someone else's wedding, so it's not quite as difficult emotionally, but I still don't feel like scrapping them. In one case there were some very nice family shots and individual shots taken that I may scrap on their own, focusing on the person/people (the exes are not in the photos I have in mind) but not as part of a wedding layout.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Mar 12, 2017 16:53:02 GMT
This sounds more like a reminder in life that the only moment we have is now. There will be no perfect moment in the future for anything. As memory keepers, we tend to get lost in that in-between land we create where we enjoy ourselves, somewhere in between the past and the illusion of eternity our craft gives us. You can still scrap the pictures you will eventually be comfortable with in the future, as others have suggested. Or you can give yourself the room to buy some more typical wedding supplies to scrap other non-wedding moments. Spring photos are particularly compatible with the wedding lines generally speaking. You could even use the opportunity to buy yourself a fancy bouquet to make your home look and smell nice, get some pastries from that nice bakery to treat your children and yourself to a nice Sunday afternoon, perhaps take them on a day trip somewhere. Do those things typically associated with a wedding for your kids and yourself this spring, as if to cement and recommit to each other as a family unit. Especially with their father "taking a break" from being in their lives. Also, major WTF to men who do that. You don't get to choose when you are part of their lives and when not. You're their dad. You are part of their everyday existence even if you pull a disappearing act. How freakin' hypocritical.The loss of your dream of a family life with your ex is one thing. The loss of the project is another. You can still find a happy medium where your current life does get to enjoy some parts of that ideal wedding scrap project. Don't deprive yourself from certain pleasures in life because you don't fit the cookie cutter definition attached to them.  Best of luck to your kiddos! May they find some way to come to peace with the stupid decision their dad is currently making. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 12, 2017 21:57:24 GMT
This sounds more like a reminder in life that the only moment we have is now. There will be no perfect moment in the future for anything. As memory keepers, we tend to get lost in that in-between land we create where we enjoy ourselves, somewhere in between the past and the illusion of eternity our craft gives us. You can still scrap the pictures you will eventually be comfortable with in the future, as others have suggested. Or you can give yourself the room to buy some more typical wedding supplies to scrap other non-wedding moments. Spring photos are particularly compatible with the wedding lines generally speaking. You could even use the opportunity to buy yourself a fancy bouquet to make your home look and smell nice, get some pastries from that nice bakery to treat your children and yourself to a nice Sunday afternoon, perhaps take them on a day trip somewhere. Do those things typically associated with a wedding for your kids and yourself this spring, as if to cement and recommit to each other as a family unit. Especially with their father "taking a break" from being in their lives. Also, major WTF to men who do that. You don't get to choose when you are part of their lives and when not. You're their dad. You are part of their everyday existence even if you pull a disappearing act. How freakin' hypocritical.The loss of your dream of a family life with your ex is one thing. The loss of the project is another. You can still find a happy medium where your current life does get to enjoy some parts of that ideal wedding scrap project. Don't deprive yourself from certain pleasures in life because you don't fit the cookie cutter definition attached to them. Best of luck to your kiddos! May they find some way to come to peace with the stupid decision their dad is currently making. Thank you so much. You gave me a lot of positive things to think about. I love the idea of treating ourselves to an especially pretty and dainty pastry, and making a day of celebrating us, and scrapping our moment with wedding papers that can fit the bill. |
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Post by melanell on Mar 13, 2017 1:20:38 GMT
I've also had events that I have yet to be able to scrap. I want to scrap them, but I just haven't reached a point where I can. I have thoughts & notes jotted down about each time frame/experience (except for 1), but that's as far as I have gotten. Maybe I never will. I figure I scrap for myself, really, so if the time is ever right for me, then they'll get done. If not, then they just won't.
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scrapbug
Full Member
Posts: 343
Jun 26, 2014 0:11:46 GMT
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Post by scrapbug on Mar 13, 2017 1:26:00 GMT
That has happened with me with friends/family weddings.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 13, 2017 1:29:41 GMT
The wedding photos of my first wedding are in a nice album. I've had the paper to redo the pictures for about 13 years but just haven't gotten around to scrapping the pictures. I'm going to use the originals but NOT attach permanently, will use the corner slot punches. I'm going to do all the pictures but his face will be hidden by die cut shapes. I actually kept my MIL and SIL in the divorce! It has been so long ago but I don't want to see his face but I've got great pictures of my family and want them in a nice album so I can see everyone that came except the groom. This isn't for everyone but it will work for me. Michaels sells those small poop stickers that could come in handy for this project. |
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on Mar 13, 2017 3:19:07 GMT
The wedding photos of my first wedding are in a nice album. I've had the paper to redo the pictures for about 13 years but just haven't gotten around to scrapping the pictures. I'm going to use the originals but NOT attach permanently, will use the corner slot punches. I'm going to do all the pictures but his face will be hidden by die cut shapes. I actually kept my MIL and SIL in the divorce! It has been so long ago but I don't want to see his face but I've got great pictures of my family and want them in a nice album so I can see everyone that came except the groom. This isn't for everyone but it will work for me. Michaels sells those small poop stickers that could come in handy for this project. Yes but that wouldn't look that great with my theme of pink and pink! I'd rather cover his face with a flower die cut! And yes, that is from Sally Field's line from Steel Magnolias when Shelby said her colors were blush and bashful. I got married 75 miles from there and my aunt and cousins still live in Natchitoches where it was filmed. My aunt worked behind the scenes. |
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Post by LisaDV on Mar 13, 2017 21:53:13 GMT
Already lots of great advice given, I just wanted to say, "sorry". Hugs.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,331
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Post by amom23 on Mar 13, 2017 22:12:45 GMT
If you had scrapbooked them while still married would that be an album you'd enjoy looking at? I'm guessing not really. It's ok to not have them in a fancy scrapbook. I have photos that I've chosen not to include in our family albums for various reasons and that is ok.
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