Do we have a divorce advice thread with all the info

I would get cash instead of a visa gc.

She should stash the cash with her parents if she trust them.

She needs to get copies of his credit report, driver's license , birth cert. their marriage license, extra copies of children's documents.

I heard of a gal that made a false bottom in a litter box. The husband never questioned why they had 2 litter boxes for one cat. The dirty diaper bin makes a good hiding place too.

I did something during my proceedings that I haven't seen mentioned on any of the divorce threads. Well, if it was, I didn't see it, and I think it is important enough to list it again if it has been discussed before.

I recommend purchasing a life insurance policy on your soon-to-be ex husband to guarantee a source of income to replace the child support that would be ending. I requested this and was the one who purchased and paid for the policy. In my case, I wanted to pay for and own the policy myself because I needed the peace of mind of knowing the premiums were being paid and the policy didn't lapse. It would have been wonderful if my ex had thought of this and offered to provide a policy with me as beneficiary, but he did not. As it was, he fought the idea of me purchasing a policy on his life at all.

It was a reasonable request to have included in the divorce papers and the judge agreed. He advised my ex that he was to submit to a physical if one was required, so that I could procure a policy. And even though I was listed as beneficiary, the money was obviously to be used to continue to provide for my son. My son was an infant when I filed for the divorce. That left a lot of years for child support, plus any college assistance that our son would need. Maybe if he had been 16 or so, I wouldn't have bothered, but we were looking at 17 years of child support payments that I wanted to insure.

I think both parents should be purchasing a policy on each other to provide for their children in the event one of them passes away. A father might have the additional expense of a full time live-in nanny, and having a policy provide the money for that would be a cautious investment for him as well.

My friend is going to mediation in a few weeks. And I would love advice for her on mediation.
Jen

Do NOT get Visa gift cards, not only do they cost money every time but most will charge monthly fees after a while. Either get cash to stash somewhere or if you shops regularly at Walmart, get an American Express Bluebird card. That one only has a one time fee and free to add money at Walmart.

But, she'd most likely be better with cash if she can find a safe place to stash. For sure get a PO box to start having mail go to.

Was going to suggest rather than visa gift cards that she pick up ones to where she shops. If she regularly shops at Walmart or Target add a store gift card to the order. Or at the grocery store if they have a gift card. At least if she decided to go she'd have some "money" to cover some of her necessities.

I know the only stuff that a friend's husband never question wa the children's clothes. She would go buy $100 worth of clothing and return the next day for cash.
She had friends that would she would buy their groceries and they would pay her in cash.

If the purchase is being paid for with a credit card the cash shows on the statement and might be questioned by the spouse.  If she purchases gift cards, either Visa or store gift cards, they don't show on the statement.  

Ask me how I know?  I've done it!  

DH had a friend of a friend whose wife planned her divorce for a year before telling her husband. She rented a storage unit and filled it with furniture for her new place. She stashed cash and bought a car. When the time came, she had what she needed to leave and set up a life elsewhere.