Who has your back?

Without including their own agendas? Nobody.

Before my husband died he was at the top of my list and I felt I had a few others as well. After he died those others proved otherwise. My parents never had my back but I feel I do when it cis new to my kids.

My husband and parents always have my back. I think my husband's support would be a bit dependent on me not doing something highly illegal. But my Mom would not only help hide the body, but would take the murder rap for me.

I will always have my kid's back. However, if they do something wrong they have to stand up and own it. I don't support doing the wrong thing. I'll stand with them while they rectify the issue, but I won't make excuses for them. Luckily, this hasn't really been an issue in our lives. Since my kids are older(one adult and one who will be an adult in a few months) I encourage them to advocate for themselves, but I am here to oversee and step in when needed or appropriate.

My parents would never have been able to support me like this. I have unconditional love and support in my life, but I learned it as an adult. It's something I wanted to model for my kids. I hope that they choose partners and friends who will always be there for them and be good to them, as well.

I live with three adult men (husband and two sons). While they feel it is their duty to drive me to distraction, all three would do anything for me if push came to shove. I love to be independent and not need anyone, but I know I have married and raised three men who have my back. Now if you were to ask my sons, they would say they would sell me for a nickel, but in reality, their mommy is the best.

ETA: I also have a few lady friends who are the ride or die type.  I feel the same way.

My parents, my brother, my cousin R and her dh & her daughter, J. Two of my closest friends for sure. Probably a 3rd.

My DH, hands down no questions asked.

My DH. Until recently I would have said my mother, but a few things have happened that have made me realise that her support is not what I thought, or what I need, or what I think is fair. This is hard for me to deal with at the moment, especially with all the health stuff that's been going on. I am very sad about it.

My husband. And my adult daughter.

DH is at the top of the list, along with both my kids (18 & 19), two sisters & theirs spouses, and a good number of friends that would drop everything to help me. I'm a loyal friend and have cultivated a few very loyal, longterm friendships. Those that I know would have my back have been in my life for 40+ years (except DH & kids).

My dad showed me at age 6 that he didn't have my back and that caused huge trust issues for me growing up. The funny thing is I do think he has learned a lot, especially in the last 10 years, about needing people and would most likely have my back now. My mom was too reliant on my dad and had my back if his was turned, which isn't really having my back I guess.

My husband and my oldest friend have my back. My dad had it too, when he was alive. Unfortunately my mom's support was conditional, and only given when I went along with her agenda.

My mom, when she was alive. She would have done anything for her kids.

No husband, but I am blessed to have 2 brothers who both have my back as I have theirs.

And my BFF. She'd definitely hide a body for me.

I know dh has my back. I know he'll be there if I ask.

I knew my parents would help me if I asked. As I got older, that help came with strings attached and/or a list of things I did wrong or need to do. I don't go to them anymore.

I want to say I'm there for my kids. They know they can tell me if they need something. They often text me first if they need a ride home during their dad's week. Often, on Sunday evening or Monday when they come back from their dad's, I get told that they need something for school or band. They know I'll get it.

Sadly, the answer is nobody.

DH is 95% of the time but he is in the military and it is and always has been quite clear which mission comes first. Sadly, when you are lying in a hospital bed you really don't give two fucks what his mission is...

My mom is second. I can ask her but it'll cost me.

I have people I can ask for help but there is no guarantee that without a doubt they would be there. I don't have a safety net.

My DH for sure and my two closest BFFs. I think my DD will when she's older, she has a loyal streak in her a mile wide just like her mama. I think I could count on one brother and one sister out of the six still alive if I was in a real jam. As for me, I try to have my DD's back but how that would manifest would depend on the situation. If she did something wrong and expected me to bail her out, I probably would but only if I could think of a way for her to learn the lesson from it. Sometimes tough love is the best thing you can do for someone. If she was unjustly accused of something, I would absolutely do anything in my power to help. 

I think my mom did her best but some of my siblings proved very difficult to parent. I don't think she ever threw any of us under the bus. Some of my siblings have done that to each other though.