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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 24, 2017 16:02:30 GMT
How do you handle the money situation?
Do you give the other parent money? If so how much? (rough idea)
Do you give your kid money?
I ask for two reasons...
My daughter has been invited to go with a friend to a water park. This is the second time. Different places and circumstances. Last time I gave the Mom money to help with the hotel and my daughter's meals. She gave me what felt like too much back. I also gave my daughter some spending money, which she did not spend.
Last time they stayed at a hotel... Great Wolf Lodge type of a place, this time they will be staying at a Condo, so they will be bringing food for most of their meals. Both Mom and Daughter are on restrictive diets.
I am thinking of inviting a friend to go along with DD and me to DC to see a show before it opens on Broadway. (For DD's birthday) We would stay with my niece, but we would fly. So if your child was invited what would you expect to pay for? I'm prepared to pay for everything, flights and show tickets meals etc... but I imagine knowing the family they will offer/insist on paying for part of it. This is not the same family as water park kid, but we take this particular kid to a LOT of shows etc with us. Kid's Mom always insists on giving me money. They are very well off, I am not. I think their house is 6x the size of mine!! LOL.. so it is pretty apparent to everyone.
So. How much and to whom would you give $$ for a water park? And if your kid was invited to go on a birthday trip would you expect to pay for anything?
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Apr 24, 2017 16:39:02 GMT
As a fellow parent, I find these situations unnecessarily awkward. I always include monetary expectations, if any, when extending the invitation, so the recipient can consider those when deciding whether to accept. Unfortunately, I've found few parents do the same. After a few frustrating experiences, I simply ask the cost (ETA: or amount of spending money needed, if appropriate for the activity/destination, in the case of a birthday celebration) at the outset & be certain to understand the desired logistics.
Hope your daughter has a safe & fun trip!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 24, 2017 16:42:15 GMT
As a fellow parent, I find these situations unnecessarily awkward. I always include monetary expectations, if any, when extending the invitation, so the recipient can consider those when deciding whether to accept. Unfortunately, I've found few parents do the same. After a few frustrating experiences, I simply ask the cost at the outset & be certain to understand the desired logistics. Hope your daughter has a safe & fun trip! That's a good idea. I agree.. it is awkward. For the birthday trip I was thinking of saying.. the flights are XX... I think they will be around the $100 mark so not expensive for flights.. and then say I'll pick up the rest as our treat. |
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JustCallMeMommy
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Apr 24, 2017 16:50:22 GMT
Just be up front. One of DD's friends has been on a few a mini-vacations with us. Each time, I contacted the mom before I talked to the child (so there would be no disappointment if the answer was not "yes."). I gave her all of the details and told her that I would pay all expenses, but that the friend should plan on bringing spending money for souvenirs.
If DD was extended a similar invitation, I would offer to pay, and if they didn't accept, I would send along a gift card for a meal for the group or enough to cover gas. (Not for a small day trip, but if it was a weekend or longer.)
There has also been a camp situation where I invited her but was not paying - in that case, I sent details. "DD really wants Friend to join her. The cost is $123, and you can register her [web site]. I'm glad to do all of the transportation, or if you would rather bring her, we could all meet for dinner on the way."
If DD goes on a day trip with friends and nothing has been stated up front, I send enough to cover her activity plus reasonable souvenirs, and I coach her to offer to pay. I also let the mom know she has money.
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Post by jamielynn on Apr 24, 2017 16:56:11 GMT
My child is still young so we haven't run into this much yet.
When we invite friends with our child I'm really clear too on expectations when extending the invite. We'd like your child to spend the day at the zoo and have dinner with us and it's all our treat.
I'm the party of I invite and pay ... but a trip including flight is different since that's a significant cost. Anything you'd need regardless of bringing the friend I would never accept money toward (hotel, rental car). I'd cover her meals and tickets - I'd be comfortable in the situation you mention allowing the family to cover airfare and fun money (including for special treats) since that's not a hardship it seems to them.
When my child is in invited I'd expect to cover costs like ticket, meal, snacks and spending money. I think most families would cover the ticket cost though and meal/s.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 24, 2017 16:58:26 GMT
I TRY to give the parent money for all fixed expenses - hotel or house rental and activities I know they're doing, particularly if they're expensive and then money for food and incidentals to the child. I'll be honest though - I don't think I've ever successfully given the parent money for anything. Usually we pay for the flight if it involves one and my child will use some spending money, but the host family picks up the rooming, activities, food, etc.
We typically vacation as a family only - but we did bring a couple kids skiing for a few days one year. We didn't expect parents to pay for lodging - we'd already rented a house and paid for all the meals. The activity costs were unique because in this case all the kids had their own ski gear and season passes.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 24, 2017 17:09:41 GMT
I agree with just being upfront. We've taken a couple of friends (one at a time) to Great wolf, we covered the room and food and told them to bring money for the arcade if they chose to do that. We've also taken a friend to Chicago and we covered everything except spending money. All of these were road trips. Ds was recently invited to go to Florida with a friend and his responsibility would have just been the flight as they were staying with family. Unfortunately it was last minute and ds had a lot of expenses this spring so we/he declined the invite but we would have sent him with spending money for some dining out/entertainment/shopping and knowing this family they would have covered all the meals and such so he'd have returned with everything he didn't spend on shopping.
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milocat
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Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Apr 24, 2017 17:15:34 GMT
For a kid tagging along I don't think I'd really worry about chipping in for gas and hotel. They were going anyway and if they didn't have to upgrade to a suite or extra room there would be no extra expense for my kid to go. I would give money to cover meals and the entertainment/water park pass. In your case I'd expect the other mom to pay for her DDs flight since that is an added expense. You take this kid to shows with you, does the other family take your DD places? Do you take money from the show mom? Do you give money if your DD goes with them? If you routinely take turns taking each others kids to things like this I wouldn't bother with money and call it even. If it's one sided I'd ask for flight money and if she offers more say you were willing to pay for the show for DDs birthday. If she offers again, take it if you want.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 24, 2017 18:18:09 GMT
For a kid tagging along I don't think I'd really worry about chipping in for gas and hotel. They were going anyway and if they didn't have to upgrade to a suite or extra room there would be no extra expense for my kid to go. I would give money to cover meals and the entertainment/water park pass. In your case I'd expect the other mom to pay for her DDs flight since that is an added expense. You take this kid to shows with you, does the other family take your DD places? Do you take money from the show mom? Do you give money if your DD goes with them? If you routinely take turns taking each others kids to things like this I wouldn't bother with money and call it even. If it's one sided I'd ask for flight money and if she offers more say you were willing to pay for the show for DDs birthday. If she offers again, take it if you want. It's actually a boy. So it would be the first time he's had a "sleepover" but my niece where we'd be staying has two bedrooms.. so it would be easy. I generally take the kids more places, like to shows.. they are both big theatre kids, and they tend to go to the friend's house to hang out. They have a big house near a lake, with a country club pool etc. He has three siblings, so he doesn't bring a friend to tag along as much as we do, because my kid is a single. My D will occasionally go out to dinner with his family. The other Mom will NEVER take money from me. (case in point, her daughter is a theatre major at Michigan, the daughter who I know well asked if my D wanted a Michigan sweatshirt, as they had them on sale... I said yes love one for Christmas, I'll give your Mom the money. Mom would NOT take the money from me. ) |
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 24, 2017 18:39:03 GMT
I'm always upfront with another parent. My daughter spent about a month last summer at her friend's house. I just called mom up and say, okay, how much do you want me to send. Do you want me to pay for outings/food/etc. In our situation, they didn't want any money at all although we did send money with DD, just in case... not a ton but enough if she wanted to buy something. Their DD comes to our house as well and we pay for her. So works out both ways.
When same family lived near us and the girls went back and forth, we always sent money (both ways) to cover expenses like the pool, movies, etc. Unless specifically either one of us said 'this is special and on us"
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