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Post by disneypal on May 20, 2017 17:06:58 GMT
No - I don't know anyone that had maids or butlers and such
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Post by justkat on May 20, 2017 19:45:43 GMT
Yes we had a staff. A full time maid and governess (au pair), a part time cook and driver and various people as needed such as pool cleaning or staffing parties.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:36:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 20:55:16 GMT
Yes we had a staff. A full time maid and governess (au pair), a part time cook and driver and various people as needed such as pool cleaning or staffing parties. Staff is much much better to us than servant. Thank you
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Post by Lexica on May 20, 2017 20:59:18 GMT
Lexica My mom started taking the woman that was their house cleaner to her appts and errands. Aww, that is so nice. Mrs. Banks had a car. My sister's housecleaners don't and she picks them up and drops them off at the train station each time. It is a husband and wife team that she has had for years, but they don't live with my sister. SaveSave
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,748
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 20, 2017 21:12:38 GMT
Servants, no. Staff, yes. My father was a self-employed pharmacist and he employed two part-time shop assistants. It was a family business, so technically, yes our family had staff. They were superb in the shop, but they weren't domestic staff - heck, just watching them make the tea was an entertainment in itself. Even after 15 years, if they had filled the kettle, plugged it in, switched it on at the socket AND the kettle all at the same time, that was a red letter day. It was more likely to see them spill water into the tray in which the kettle sat, then pull the cable out of the kettle and trail it IN the water, ON the metal tray, without switching it off first. Sugar everywhere, milk spilled, tea spilled... We needed domestic staff to clean up after them.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:36:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 21:14:10 GMT
Yes we had a staff. A full time maid and governess (au pair), a part time cook and driver and various people as needed such as pool cleaning or staffing parties. So, what did you father and mother do? Where were you living?
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Post by crimsoncat05 on May 20, 2017 22:18:07 GMT
here is a big farmer in this area who hire extra help to get the crop in and out and they call them "hired hands" makes my skin crawl. hired hands is the term that's always been historically used for extra (paid) farm workers, I think- at least I've heard and read that term all my life. 'farmhand' was the just term for the farm workers-- any farm workers besides the farm owner, I mean. You know, extra 'hands' for helping on the farm? It doesn't have any sort of slavery connotation to me at all.
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Post by berty on May 20, 2017 22:23:03 GMT
My grandmother was the cook for a family until she got married. The family didn't want to part with her and offered to hire her husband as a driver, but he liked his factory job. My parents have a weekly lawn service; however, it's because of my father's failing health and he dearly wishes they didn't need it.
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Post by txdancermom on May 20, 2017 22:23:48 GMT
My mom always had a cleaning woman, hers would do extra things like helping at parties, etc if needed. we currently have someone who comes in and cleans, (every other week) and someone who does the yard work.
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Post by justkat on May 20, 2017 22:30:46 GMT
Yes we had a staff. A full time maid and governess (au pair), a part time cook and driver and various people as needed such as pool cleaning or staffing parties. So, what did you father and mother do? Where were you living? My father was a surgeon and diplomat. My mother owns a small international chocolate company. I'm from Bruxelles, Belgium.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:36:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 22:45:58 GMT
There is a big farmer in this area who hire extra help to get the crop in and out and they call them "hired hands" makes my skin crawl. Why don't they just call them slaves? They are your employees, even if seasonal. Why does it make your skin crawl? Do you feel like everyone who works a seasonal job is a slave? Slave and employee are very different things. Slaves are unpaid labor (housing/meals as allowed by the person who owns them) Slaves are property with no rights. Hired hands on a farm do get paid as agreed between the hand and the land owner. The hired hand is free to walk away at any time.
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on May 20, 2017 22:51:05 GMT
This thread is fascinating! No staff or helpers.. but we lived in a house that used to be that sort of thing. It was a big house. My folks had bought it my sophmore year in HS. It had a servants quarters, in the basement. A little room under the stairs (we called it the HP room when it was a thing). Our bedroom doors used to have numbers on them. We debated for a long time if we we would keep them. As I have many siblings. The house was also used as a medical place for rehab patients during the war. It was believed to be haunted. We called it the Munster house. it was pea green, but when my folks re did it was yellow, with green shutters. It was their dream renovation project. They stayed in untill we all graduated.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:36:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 22:51:56 GMT
Growing up, all household chores were done by mom, dad or one of us girls.
Currently I do hire a weekly yard service. I don't think of it as having staff any more than I think of my dentist as my staff. They provide a service I need. They set their price and I pay it. For my lawn service I have never laid eyes on anyone. Communication has been by phone and email. I mail a payment once a month and come home to my yard mowed/edged once a week.
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gitana
Junior Member
Posts: 85
Aug 18, 2014 3:31:58 GMT
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Post by gitana on May 20, 2017 22:58:07 GMT
I've been an expat in Central America and Asia. Both times, our home had a space for live in help. Both times, it was a small, cramped, uncomfortable, unconditioned space. In Africa, Asia, and South America, it is very much still The norm, to have live in help. Sometimes, they're treated like members of the family, but more often, it's more of a slave arrangement. The article posted took me back to many stories I have heard while living in Asia. These arrangements are still happening today.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:36:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2017 0:01:58 GMT
So, what did you father and mother do? Where were you living? My father was a surgeon and diplomat. My mother owns a small international chocolate company. I'm from Bruxelles, Belgium. WOWzers!!!!!! How awesome. More so on your mother's side tho. I have always wanted to do more with chocolates and candy making. My great grandfather ( my father side) was a candy maker. That's were the money came from. But I think he was also a bootlegger. My great aunt said that he helped obici, the owner of planters peanuts get started. The obici's were good friends and before the stock market crash told my great grandfather to cash in all his stocks and get all of his money out of the banks my great grandfather didn't listen, and lost everything except the house and his small shop.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on May 21, 2017 0:05:22 GMT
@megmc, I liked your post because I love that kind of cool family history info, NOT because your great grandfather ended up losing everything he had in stocks. just wanted to explain that!
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,443
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on May 21, 2017 1:52:29 GMT
There is a big farmer in this area who hire extra help to get the crop in and out and they call them "hired hands" makes my skin crawl. Why don't they just call them slaves? They are your employees, even if seasonal. Why does it make your skin crawl? Do you feel like everyone who works a seasonal job is a slave? Slave and employee are very different things. Slaves are unpaid labor (housing/meals as allowed by the person who owns them) Slaves are property with no rights. Hired hands on a farm do get paid as agreed between the hand and the land owner. The hired hand is free to walk away at any time. Because of the tone used when this couple says it. No one else around here uses the term hired hand. There are lots of jobs that require seasonal workers or temporary help. No one makes a big deal of it. This couple also says "our" hired hands like they own them. Again tone and the fact that they have this superior attitude. It just rubs me the wrong way.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,076
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on May 21, 2017 5:41:54 GMT
No. I'm from a middle class American family. We didn't have servants or staff. I'm one of 5 children. We each had chores. I was the oldest girl, second born. My job was to do the laundry for all 7 members of the household. 20-25 loads of laundry every single week. That was a part-time job.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 21, 2017 5:45:14 GMT
Nope, but there were eight kids in my family and we were all expected to pitch in and help with everything that needed to be done in the house and yard. You could say that my parents spent the money they could have used to pay a housekeeper, etc. on all those extra kids!
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Post by gryroagain on May 21, 2017 11:23:17 GMT
Not growing up, nor did I know anyone who did. But I have a helper who cleans once a week and also dog walks, gets a kid somewhere if needed (rare mine are older but on occasion she has taken the youngest to things for me), that kind of thing. She is more like a friend though, as she comes to parties and hangs out with us and our friends she also works for. Some of her employers are awful though, I can't believe the things people make her do!
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Post by gracieplusthree on May 21, 2017 12:32:36 GMT
my step mom had me. that was enough that she didn't have to lift a finger around the house Never knew anyone who had a cook or a maid or any of that. we did at one point have the neighbor boy mow the yard in the summer, but it was more for a reason to let him work for some $ , my dad mowed prior to that, and after we moved he went back to doing all the mowing again
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Post by epeanymous on May 21, 2017 12:39:19 GMT
My husband grew up with a live-in maid.
We have a nanny, a house cleaner who comes once a week, and a bimonthly garden service.
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Post by whipea on May 21, 2017 13:40:10 GMT
We had help as my parents always called the housekeeper/nanny. I grew up in the south in the 60's and it was common to have a daily housekeeper even if you were middle class and not super affluent. We had Lucy as long as I could remember. Both my parents worked so she watched my sister and I, cleaned, cooked some and did laundry.
She was a fantastic person and had a nice family. Sometimes she would bring her grandchildren with her who were around our age to hang out with us and we would create total havoc and have a blast. I wanted to reconnect with them and tried looking them up but they had a common name and there were hundreds that matched. Maybe I will sleuth when I retire.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on May 21, 2017 18:02:38 GMT
my family was the staff
it was the work young irish and english women could find
my grandmother came to america to serve as the nanny for the sister of my aunt's employer
(my aunt worked for a family - they needed a nanny for the sister's children)
gina
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Post by workingclassdog on May 21, 2017 18:46:21 GMT
Nope never Edited: "It is so inexpensive to hire help that most people have some sort of help." Someone said that above... to me hiring help is not inexpensive.. in fact I only know a handful of people who have 'hired help' of some sort, but then again, maybe I am a class below? (not being snarky).. I'm pretty much middle class but struggling in the last few years of job changes, but even before I would have not even thought of hiring help. I mean I get that people have hired help, like lawn mowing, or cleaning once a week or bi-weekly. Shoot I would do it in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't see paying someone if I am able to do it.. which I HATE lawn work.. BLAH...
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on May 21, 2017 19:11:37 GMT
Nope never Edited: "It is so inexpensive to hire help that most people have some sort of help." Someone said that above... to me hiring help is not inexpensive.. in fact I only know a handful of people who have 'hired help' of some sort, but then again, maybe I am a class below? (not being snarky).. I'm pretty much middle class but struggling in the last few years of job changes, but even before I would have not even thought of hiring help. I mean I get that people have hired help, like lawn mowing, or cleaning once a week or bi-weekly. Shoot I would do it in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't see paying someone if I am able to do it.. which I HATE lawn work.. BLAH... I believe the person who said that doesn't live in the US. The only "help" I currently have is a cleaning lady every other week. No one when I was growing up and didn't know anyone who had help.
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Post by shelby on May 21, 2017 19:28:58 GMT
Like Gina, my family was the staff. My paternal grandfather died during the flu epidemic of 1918 and left my grandmother with six small children. My grandmother was laundress for several families, house cleaner for others and janitor of the high school in the evenings. I don't know when she slept. My maternal great grandmother was a maid for a wealthy family in Germany. The husband of the family felt that part of her job was to sleep with him. When she became pregnant with my grandmother she was let go. She always had a strong dislike for my grandmother, blaming her for what happened and so when my grandmother was eleven years old she was sent to America and she became a maid for a wealthy family here. They did let her be educated with their children which was kind of them. At the age of 25 she left the family to marry my grandfather who was 40 years older than her. They had seven children but grandma still worked as a housekeeper for another family while raising her own family and being in poor health. Sadly, she and my grandfather died two weeks apart when she was 49 and he was 89. How I would love to be able to sit with her and have her tell me about her life. She will always be my hero.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 21, 2017 19:34:55 GMT
My mother owns a small international chocolate company. I'm from Bruxelles, Belgium. I always thought my grandmother owning a small grocery store was the best thing ever (free cokes, candy and ice cream)! However, a chocolate company tops that in spades! Now I'm wondering if I've ever had that chocolate, as Belgium chocolate is my favorite. "It is so inexpensive to hire help that most people have some sort of help." Someone said that above... to me hiring help is not inexpensive.. in fact I only know a handful of people who have 'hired help' of some sort, but then again, maybe I am a class below? (not being snarky).. I'm pretty much middle class but struggling in the last few years of job changes, but even before I would have not even thought of hiring help. The person who posted that is an expat. In most third world and developing countries it is indeed very inexpensive to hire help compared to the US. I grew up in the South and had a mother who worked at a time when most mom's didn't. Daycares and preschools weren't a thing then so you hired full time help to watch the children. When I was in middle school we moved away and my parents decided I was old enough to be in charge of my younger sisters. They must have been nuts! We took care of the chores until we left home. When DH and I moved overseas we always had help. Our viewpoint was that we were profiting from living in their country, so hiring local help was a way of paying that forward, and we always paid very well. We lived in 6 different countries and have had both live-in and live out staff. Depending on the location I've had as little as just a housekeeper who came in once a week. In another country I had a live-in staff of 3 that we paid, as well as well as a driver and guards 24 hrs/day that the company paid for. We also had a second driver that we paid for as school and job were in different directions and sharing didn't work well. No matter who paid them, we provided the food for all of them. Currently we have a weekly housekeeper who has been with us about 15 years. Because we keep a home base while overseas, she was employed even when we were not here. Over the years she has become a part of the family. We even attended her wedding a few years ago.
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Post by pondrunner on May 21, 2017 19:58:24 GMT
Nope never Edited: "It is so inexpensive to hire help that most people have some sort of help." Someone said that above... to me hiring help is not inexpensive.. in fact I only know a handful of people who have 'hired help' of some sort, but then again, maybe I am a class below? (not being snarky).. I'm pretty much middle class but struggling in the last few years of job changes, but even before I would have not even thought of hiring help. I mean I get that people have hired help, like lawn mowing, or cleaning once a week or bi-weekly. Shoot I would do it in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't see paying someone if I am able to do it.. which I HATE lawn work.. BLAH... When we lived abroad our neighbors who had help employed either young unmarried women or widows with grown children who would live in their home and help with the tasks. The cost was a room and a small stipend. The return was a place to live and people to be around you. This is both a means of having household suppory and a way to see to the care of some vulnerable populations. When we were living outside the US (I was not born here) we found that many young ladies were household helpers because they had not passed the exams to go to secretarial school or receive other education and literally her choices often were to be a helper living in a closet sized room in someone's flat or go into sex work. So a place to live and food and pocket money was very desirable. A number of families from lower middle class and up had helpers. It's very different to here. Economically it is very sensible whereas here living in help would be not economically or situationally viable.
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Post by Pahina722 on May 21, 2017 20:26:41 GMT
My family is very Southern, so in the past, my father's side always had "help." His grandfather owned a general store and lumber mill. They had both help in the store and mill and help at home for my great- grandmother though none live-in. His other grandparents are from rural Georgia and were large scale farmers. Even as a kid, i remember visiting Dad's cousins there and having "Aint Sukey" fix all the meals and do all the cleaning. It was very much like The Help except that she was treated like a part of the family. Aint Sukey (yes, Ain't--that's how it was pronounced) lived on my cousins' property in what I suspect used to be a sharecropper cabin.
In my immediate family, we had maids who came in once a week to do the cleaning while I was a child, but once my mother went back to work when I was in middle school, I started helping out and got paid what the maid had earned.
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