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Post by beanbuddymom on May 31, 2017 15:25:10 GMT
Junior year for our household has been a series of teachable moments. Planning ahead is a common theme.
Needless to say DD is getting a dose of reality today. There is a celebration tonight for graduation (not prom just a fun party before graduation for srs everyone loves to go to) that juniors could attend if they were invited by a senior who had an extra ticket. They could invite their boy/girlfriend or give it to a friend.
So what every other jr and sr in the school did was plan ahead for this months ago. DD just figured she would get a ticket later and when she started dating a sr figured she would get his extra ticket. I told her not to assume. Guess what I was right because he gave his extra ticket to his friend months ago before they started dating but when everyone in school was - get this - planning ahead.
I told her last week if she didn't coordinate with someone that had an extra ticket she wasn't going. She refused to listen to me saying she would get one later, even the day of the event she was sure she would get a ticket, stop nagging mom it will all work out. Oh well! She has no ticket she can't go. She's pretty upset but I told her months ago if she wanted to go she needed to get a ticket from one of her sr friends - boy or girl - that had extra tickets. All her girlfriends did - and even her current boyfriend who is a sr is not able to get her a ticket because it's too late now, and the coordinator for the school event said sorry, no extras, she should have asked a week ago when the deadline was.
Planning ahead. It's what you do. Everyone else that planned ahead and checked in at the deadline was able to get a ticket. Sorry for my DD but kind of glad she's getting a slap in the face that yes you need to plan ahead, you can't just wait til the last minute for crap and expect you'll be the exception.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on May 31, 2017 15:31:52 GMT
It's so hard to see our kids suffer because of their mistakes, but this is a very valuable lesson for her.
Who knows how much future heartache will be avoided because of this.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
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Post by CeeScraps on May 31, 2017 15:43:16 GMT
Great learning lesson! It's something she wants to do and she didn't plan ahead.
It's ok for her to be sad.......that's how she will learn.
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Post by chrispeas on May 31, 2017 15:43:45 GMT
Yeah that's a bummer for her. At this point I wouldn't show her sympathy or say you told her so. She feels bad and that's enough. It's a learning experience. I don't want to come across as hard, but you just get to a point that your just over stupid stuff.
My DD is a Jr. this year as well. Teachers give the kids the ability to do extra credits. I push mine to do them for "just incase". Well DD has ceramics for her Arts elective. Her last wheel project is nowhere to be found. She has a zero that could put her in jeopardy. Had she done the extra credit it would have given her a safety net. Ugh! She has one more day of school to plead her case to the teacher.
ETA: The teacher found her project. Don't know where it was hiding. Weird. She was so stressing out because she didn't want this class to bring down her GPA.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
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Post by scrapngranny on May 31, 2017 16:17:34 GMT
It's that darn frontal lobe of the brain again. At that age their brain just doesn't grasp this concept easily. All you can do is keep reinforcing a positive thought process. Teens can be trying.
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Post by beanbuddymom on May 31, 2017 16:25:27 GMT
Oh yes I am definitely being tight lipped and no I told you so - her disappointment is lesson enough and I woudl rather her be upset at the sitatuation that have it gravitate toward lashing out at me and forgetting the lesson.
I will be making a nice dinner and making myself scarce - out of sight in the house, but avvailable to talk if she sees fit though I'm betting she'll be in her room all night.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
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Post by scrapngranny on May 31, 2017 16:28:53 GMT
It's that darn frontal lobe of the brain again. At that age their brain just doesn't grasp this concept easily. All you can do is keep reinforcing a positive thought process. Teens can be trying, they do eventually get it. Good luck.
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Post by Anne-Marie on May 31, 2017 16:40:25 GMT
I'm so sorry she's disappointed. But I agree, this is a valuable lesson, hopefully one she will really learn from.
My youngest DD is 12, finishing up 6th grade, and if she doesn't really change her ways, this will be her in a few years.
I am a big time planner and her lack of planning (and information sharing) makes me absolutely batty sometimes.
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Post by kristi on May 31, 2017 16:42:44 GMT
My junior daughter is learning some of lessons similar to yours this year. Only 2 more days!!!
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 31, 2017 16:46:15 GMT
My DD is a junior too and she's had some rough lessons this year. I think they have been valuable to her. Learning from your mistakes is a lot more valuable than a parent trying to teach you. My honor student ended up failing a class. Now she will work extra hard during senior year to make up the credit.
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Post by bc2ca on May 31, 2017 18:40:48 GMT
DS's learner's permit was expiring and he needed one more behind the wheel lesson before he could take the driver's test. Even though I bugged him to book both the lesson and test well in advance, in his eyes there was no rush. I wanted him to get it over before school started so he had complete flexibility as to time of day to do both.
A couple of weeks before school starts he is shocked to discover no times available through the DMV until after school starts. He books that appointment then contacts his driving school. Oh dear, their earliest slot for a lesson is 2 weeks after the driver's test date (partly because I refused to let him book it during school hours). He books that and has to go back to rebook the DMV. Fortunately he passed on the first try.
I'm sorry your DD is missing her event. Hopefully it will be the last time something like this happens to her.
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oaksong
Drama Llama
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Location: LA Suburbia
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on May 31, 2017 19:08:49 GMT
The lack of planning combined with stubbornness is so frustrating! They eventually grown up and figure it out. Gotta let them make those mistakes...
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on May 31, 2017 19:27:49 GMT
DS's learner's permit was expiring and he needed one more behind the wheel lesson before he could take the driver's test. Even though I bugged him to book both the lesson and test well in advance, in his eyes there was no rush. I wanted him to get it over before school started so he had complete flexibility as to time of day to do both. A couple of weeks before school starts he is shocked to discover no times available through the DMV until after school starts. He books that appointment then contacts his driving school. Oh dear, their earliest slot for a lesson is 2 weeks after the driver's test date (partly because I refused to let him book it during school hours). He books that and has to go back to rebook the DMV. Fortunately he passed on the first try. I'm sorry your DD is missing her event. Hopefully it will be the last time something like this happens to her. Similar situation here. Not an expiration, but ds has to take the part 2 class. It is only offered in town the first week of June or in August, in order to take it he has to have 30 hours behind the wheel w/ a parent and 2 night hours. At the beginning of May he had like 12 hours  after months of me telling him he should be driving (he doesn't like to drive dh's car and the few times he had the chance to drive w/ me he was "too tired" or some crap). He's finally buckled down and only has a couple hours to go but geez kid, talk about cutting it close. I guess he finally realized that either he do it or he wait for his license (he turns 16 the end of June and has been counting on that extra freedom), I was not going to fib on hours (like apparently some kids parents do  ), nor was I going to drive him 20 minutes to another class. Damn kids are exhausting some times. |
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on May 31, 2017 19:38:09 GMT
Sad, but teachable moment. At this point, you just hope they learn from it.
I try to remind my son about planning ahead (12 yr old son/6th grade). Not overally nagging at him, but the importance of planning ahead for important things. Also that it helps with anxiety when you are not having to squeeze in everything last minute.
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Post by anniefb on May 31, 2017 19:45:47 GMT
It's that darn frontal lobe of the brain again. At that age their brain just doesn't grasp this concept easily. All you can do is keep reinforcing a positive thought process. Teens can be trying. That ^^ |
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Deleted
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May 21, 2024 17:13:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2017 20:33:40 GMT
We are going through something similar right now. It is painful but a lesson that must be learned. Keep sending the love. She'll get there.
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Post by pmm on May 31, 2017 20:40:11 GMT
That's a tough pill to swallow as a teenager. Hopefully she will never forget this lesson.
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Post by tampascrapper on May 31, 2017 21:06:23 GMT
Great learning lesson! It's something she wants to do and she didn't plan ahead. It's ok for her to be sad.......that's how she will learn. I agree with this. Hopefully hearing how much fun all her friends have will drive the lesson home that preplanning is a good thing |
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on May 31, 2017 21:08:50 GMT
I could have written your post  ! My 16-year-old has had a string of disappointments this year due to her unrealistic brain. I'm hoping next year is better because I really hate nagging and consoling. |
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Post by Really Red on May 31, 2017 21:21:43 GMT
Sucks, but she had ample warning. I have a junior just like that, too!
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Post by genny on May 31, 2017 21:23:45 GMT
Yep. DD just graduated and she is BAD about not planning ahead. Even when I stay on her about things and she doesn't do them....she just thinks things are magically going to work out in her favor. It drives me crazy. DD doesn't look past the minute that she's in, despite multiple teaching moments.
She'll figure it out the hard way once college starts in the fall I guess...
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Post by maryland on May 31, 2017 22:13:25 GMT
It's a great lesson for her. You tried. I do the same with my kids!  |
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Post by cannmom on Jun 1, 2017 0:06:50 GMT
I so feel your pain. My DS is a Junior also and I think I can say "yes, been there, done that" on almost all these stories.
Decides to go to Prom at the last minute, letting school stuff fall through the cracks, procrastinating on Behind the wheel training, waiting until very late to apply to work at summer camp; I'm about ready to pull my hair out.
Unfortunately, things have worked out ok on some of these and I'm not sure he's learned any lessons.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,510
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Post by ellen on Jun 1, 2017 1:15:29 GMT
They just love to be told what they should do, don't they? I don't know how many times I had to refrain from saying, "I told you so," to my oldest daughter. She's 20 now and still knows everything. I'm much better at not engaging anymore. I
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Post by AussieMeg on Jun 1, 2017 1:39:17 GMT
Sorry for my DD but kind of glad she's getting a slap in the face that yes you need to plan ahead, you can't just wait til the last minute for crap and expect you'll be the exception. This is exactly how I would feel. Yes I'd feel sorry that my DD missed out on something important to her, but kind of glad that (hopefully) a lesson had been learned. Were you able to hold back on the "I told you so" comments?  |
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 1, 2017 2:02:32 GMT
Unexpectedly my girls learned about planning ahead as a by product of a principle of my husband. He believes if you say you are going to do something you have to do it, it is important to him to not let your friends down. If they were on restrictions because of behavior or grades, they still had to follow through with plans made with others. So they always made sure to make plans for weekends or special holidays way ahead of time. Then if they are under restrictions, they still got to go. It did not happen often,they were pretty good kids, but they wanted to be prepared if it did happen. I loved knowing what was going on and when I was going to be needed for driving duties.
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after months of me telling him he should be driving (he doesn't like to drive dh's car and the few times he had the chance to drive w/ me he was "too tired" or some crap). He's finally buckled down and only has a couple hours to go but geez kid, talk about cutting it close. I guess he finally realized that either he do it or he wait for his license (he turns 16 the end of June and has been counting on that extra freedom), I was not going to fib on hours (like apparently some kids parents do 
), nor was I going to drive him 20 minutes to another class.
! My 16-year-old has had a string of disappointments this year due to her unrealistic brain. I'm hoping next year is better because I really hate nagging and consoling.
