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Post by gryroagain on Aug 24, 2014 2:58:32 GMT
So, DD, who just turned 16, is home schooled (takes 2 public school classes) and she had her first class (English) at the community college this week. I got an email from the teacher, telling me it was great to have DD in class (who doesn't want to hear that, lol) and that she found DD very interesting. I am confuzzled. All communication with the CC has been via DD, the counselor only emailed her re certain test results needed, etc. I didnt even know how she got my email but DD said she gave it to her, lol.
While a public school high school teacher emailing me about DD seems normal, a community college teacher does not! And the email was just...chatty? The teacher obviously likes her, and I guess was reassuring me DD was ok in the class? She is the youngest, there are adults 30 plus in the class, she is the only high school student. I sort of expected that, as did DD. I was not/am not worried about DD and the class. I don't really know what to respond, other than, hey, thanks, DD likes your class? I don't feel like me, the parent building a rapport, is appropriate here, since it is college.
Any thoughts? Any teachers of community college classes who can weigh in, or parents of high school kids taking them? Is this normal? Is there some sort of underlying "thing" I am not seeing, like the teacher thinks due to her age I should be appraised of...whatever? Is it appropriate to say I feel DD can handle this on her own, I'm good?
I only went to the first parent night thing at the high school, in 9th grade, none since. DD handles all that. I guess being a home school mom makes me extra fearful of micromanaging my kids lives! Does the teacher think homeschool kid equals fearful, helicopter parent? Am I reading too much I to a nice email? Help!
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Post by elaine on Aug 24, 2014 3:08:32 GMT
Since your daughter is a minor, I don't think it abnormal that her CC instructor is communicating with you. It sounds like she cares about your daughter and is committed to helping her succeed, Me, personally, I would take it as a positive.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 21:49:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2014 3:08:43 GMT
My eyes are wide!!! Yikes. No, it is not normal and the teacher shouldn't be doing it. Although your dd is still under 18 the teacher could miss that all important birthday and be in violation of FERPA as it pertains to colleges.
I think it is very appropriate to let her know you are confident dd can handle whatever she needs to handle, including keeping you informed about any issues she feels she might have. Then, depending on how you feel about it you might want to inform someone in the appropriate administration of the email so they can address ferpa with the faculty.
eta: our faculty is not to talk to parents. Period. There are avenues for the few cases when parents need to be notified of issues but those go through the office of the VP for academic affairs. Not faculty to parent. Ever.
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 24, 2014 3:14:43 GMT
See now Volt, all has been handled solely through DD, so this really threw me! She is a minor, I don't want anyone in trouble, but it really shocked me since a) she has seen DD twice (she is really chatty though so she probably made an impression) and b) everything has been college and her, me not in the equation except to pay.
Maybe she is fairly new and DD is her first youngster in class? There are still 2 more years until DD is 18 so I guess no laws are violated, I wouldn't squack if they were, I am just not sure how to respond!
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 24, 2014 3:16:16 GMT
I can't spell squack. Squawk? Skwack?
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 24, 2014 3:18:39 GMT
Since she is a minor, I think it was thoughtful. Now if she was 18 things would be different. My senior is taking two college courses. SInce he is 18, I wouldn't expect any communication from a teacher. I taught at this community college and at that time there wasn't an age for non communication; I only communicated with students. Ha. Email wasn't even around then.
Perhaps this teacher was very aware of her age and knew it wasn't in violation with FERPA. Perhaps this teacher has had other high school students and was doing what she thought was best. Her intentions were good.
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Post by elaine on Aug 24, 2014 3:31:11 GMT
My eyes are wide!!! Yikes. No, it is not normal and the teacher shouldn't be doing it. Although your dd is still under 18 the teacher could miss that all important birthday and be in violation of FERPA as it pertains to colleges. I think it is very appropriate to let her know you are confident dd can handle whatever she needs to handle, including keeping you informed about any issues she feels she might have. Then, depending on how you feel about it you might want to inform someone in the appropriate administration of the email so they can address ferpa with the faculty. eta: our faculty is not to talk to parents. Period. There are avenues for the few cases when parents need to be notified of issues but those go through the office of the VP for academic affairs. Not faculty to parent. Ever. This is SO NOT in violation of FERPA! The child enrolled in 16. If the OP wants to get the instructor pissed off at her daughter and potentially take it out on her, consciously or un, then yeah, go ahead and speak to the administration trying to get her in trouble for contacting the mom.
I've taught college since 1989, and can't believe that anyone would take the teacher's email communication about a 16 y.o. taking her first college course as a negative thing. Sheesh! Way to squash a teacher wanting to go the extra mile to ensure the girl succeeds. Wherever I have taught, doing whatever you could do to support retention was supported. In the current college environment, retention is the holy grail. And helping a CHILD succeed in her first college course should be lauded. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2014 3:37:57 GMT
I did not say ferpa was violated. While retention is a holy grail, so is not ever getting into a position of violating ferpa because it can cost the school even more in a lawsuit.
ETA: It is possible to talk to admin without identifying your student or the teacher. Just a heads up that this has happened and you are uncomfortable with it. They can then decide to do nothing or do a mass reminder to faculty about their policy in regards to communication with parents/third party.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 24, 2014 3:38:21 GMT
I feel it's only because your DD is young, a high school student, in a class with adults. I would thank the teacher for communicating with me and reaffirming my belief that DD has the ability to handle herself in such a situation.
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Post by elaine on Aug 24, 2014 4:01:07 GMT
I did not say ferpa was violated. While retention is a holy grail, so is not ever getting into a position of violating ferpa because it can cost the school even more in a lawsuit. ETA: It is possible to talk to admin without identifying your student or the teacher. Just a heads up that this has happened and you are uncomfortable with it. They can then decide to do nothing or do a mass reminder to faculty about their policy in regards to communication with parents/third party. I'm sorry, but I don't think that FERPA is any more relevant to this situation than dual relationships. Should the OP also tell the admin that they should lecture the faculty on how it is ill-advised and potentially illegal to have sexual relationships with their current students? I can can pretty much guarantee that a 16 y.o. pretty much stands out amongst a group of 18-25 year olds in terms of youthful appearance. And if they had a first-class ice breaker introduction activity, which just about every small class college instructor does, everyone in the class is aware of her age and that this is her first college class and that she is also a high school student... I think it is seriously over-reacting to approach the admin over a teacher contacting a parent about their 16 y.o. child in her first college course, and could only hurt the child if the teacher is somehow reprimanded for doing nothing wrong. |
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 24, 2014 4:38:43 GMT
They did do an "introduce yourself" thing the first class, and the second happened to be a topic DD knows a great deal about- the teacher is a journalist, think current events. So I am sure DD did make an impression. I think it's nice, but I also don't really want to get involved, KWIM? In my mind, this is different than high school, but I am not sure how to communicate that (or if I should even) without being rude. I'm afraid I will answer and then we will have a rapport about DD, while I want DD and the teacher to have that without me in the equation, not that that wouldn't happen.
I don't really know what I mean, lol.
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Post by SabrinaM on Aug 24, 2014 4:49:24 GMT
This would not bother me. I woukd take it at face value rather than trying to read more into it than necessary.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tracylynn on Aug 24, 2014 6:03:30 GMT
I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Don't reply if you have nothing to say. Simple. I certainly wouldn't go to the college and complain, talk about over reaction.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Aug 24, 2014 8:49:01 GMT
I know someone who teaches at a community college and has some dually-enrolled students in her class. Parents started complaining to her department head and dean that she wasn't communicating with them. It was a helicopter parent baptism by fire, and got rather nasty.
It's possible your daughter's instructor has heard stories like this and is being proactive. Or it's possible that she knows that it's de rigueur for high school teachers to establish contact with teachers. Or maybe it's just possible that she thought the parent of someone so (unusually) young might appreciate some friendly reassurance.
I disagree that the instructor is playing with FERPA fire. It's probably a semester course; at the most, your daughter will have turned 17 during the class. I would not report her, even anonymously.
I would send back a breezy-yet-pointed email - "Thanks so much for...my daughter is excited about managing all academic communication herself...la,la,la...have a great semester." Done.
Also, your daughter did provide your email address when requested, which could be construed as tacit permission. From now on, maybe your daughter should decline any such request, explaining that she wants to be treated like any other college student.
Honestly, I would vie this as a well-intentioned misunderstanding and nip it in the bud in a friendly way.
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Post by LauraTen on Aug 24, 2014 10:31:16 GMT
I would be more concerned about what she meant by "interesting"...
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anniebygaslight
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 24, 2014 11:57:39 GMT
I feel it's only because your DD is young, a high school student, in a class with adults. I would thank the teacher for communicating with me and reaffirming my belief that DD has the ability to handle herself in such a situation.  exactly. If you want to embarrass your daughter, and ruin her experience, and the good will of a thoughtful teacher, go right ahead and report the matter. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 24, 2014 12:03:47 GMT
This is just a parent's perspective as I have two kids who were/are taking dual enrollment classes (and as a person who has also taken dual enrollment classes back in the day and who worked at both a community college and large state university.)
I was always told that regardless of the student's age, parents were not able to receive communication about the student without their express permission. The only way, for example, I could get my kids grades from the college (again, regardless of age) would be if the student provided them to me. Our community college has a large dual enrollment program, and are very used to dealing with parents...but it was a no go when I tried to get a copy of the boy's transcripts as a underage student. I would have had to go through the same process that Volt mentioned that involves legal intervention.
I would assume that by the fact that the professor had your email address your daughter gave it to him/her, which does imply a tacit permission on the part of your daughter to allow you access...but beyond a return email that says "my daughter is in charge" (because after all, a student who is ready to take dual enrollment classes should also be ready to be independent enough to handle the responsibility) I would avoid any further communication.
(I should also mention that the dual enrollment classes my kids are/were enrolled in are taught at their high school. They have enough students enrolled that the professor comes to them. I can not get information beyond basic when and where from the high school either. My older son dropped a class at 17 and it was not communicated to me-because of those same rules we are talking about.)
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Post by gonewalkabout on Aug 24, 2014 12:18:39 GMT
I don't think it's strange at all. I think the teacher was probably just trying to be nice and reassuring, since she is a high school student within a group of adults.
Some teachers just like to touch base in these circumstances. I wouldn't read anything into it. If it becomes a continual thing I'd start wondering, but not just with one email.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 24, 2014 12:59:08 GMT
I think you're overthinking it. I don't think the teacher is asking you to handle or manage anything for your daughter. I actually think replying with anything that hints you think she is would seem weird.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2014 13:14:48 GMT
I think it was meant to be reassuring, and would take it in that way.
Just a note about FERPA -- DD's college makes no exceptions to FERPA rules for age. ALL students are subject to it there, no matter their age. I know this because DD was a 17-yo freshman and at her orientation they stressed that I would not get any information from them. I realize it's a college implementation of the rule (or maybe state since it's a state college.)
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TankTop
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Post by TankTop on Aug 24, 2014 13:30:14 GMT
As a teacher I am told to never email a minor without including their parent as a cc for my own protection. Even though your dd is taking a college class, she is still a minor. As the teacher in this case I would not want to set myself up. However, the email seemed unnecessary.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 24, 2014 13:31:45 GMT
I would assume that by the fact that the professor had your email address your daughter gave it to him/her, which does imply a tacit permission on the part of your daughter to allow you access...but beyond a return email that says "my daughter is in charge" (because after all, a student who is ready to take dual enrollment classes should also be ready to be independent enough to handle the responsibility) I would avoid any further communication. This ^^ |
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 24, 2014 14:18:25 GMT
I think the e-mail is odd. I never received a personalized e-mail like that from any of my kids' high school teachers on the first day of school. Sometimes I'd get group e-mails addressed to all the parents, but never one specifically addressed to me. I'd wonder why the teacher was e-mailing me to tell me my child was "interesting."
I teach at a community college but I don't have dual credit students in my class, so I'm not sure what the policy is concerning communications w/ minor students and their parents, but I know I'd never send an e-mail to a parent to tell them their child is "interesting."
I'd probably just chalk up the e-mail you received to an over enthusiastic professor. (Maybe this is her first class or her first high school student). I hope your daughter has a true college experience in this class and that the professor doesn't treat her "special" because she is a high school student.
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Post by Pahina722 on Aug 24, 2014 14:18:36 GMT
Like Volt and anxiousmom, my college expressly forbids us from discussing students with parents unless the student has a notarized waiver on file. In addition, because of FERPA, we can only discuss grades with the student face-to-face since we can't verify identity online or over the phone.
While I can understand the teacher's impulse, I would be wondering why a college instructor felt it necessary to contact me. If I thought my child wasn't ready to deal with college level work and topics, I wouldn't allow him to enroll in college classes.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 24, 2014 15:03:46 GMT
It's always interesting when a post could have been written about the opposite experience. A Pea could just as easily be written that your 16 year old is taking the class and the Prof won't acknowledge you, due to policy.
Since DD gave her the email address take it as a kind gesture. I'm sure your DD is fine, but what if she's not really? A "mature" 16 is not likely equivalent to a 20 YO living in their own and two years into college.
By getting picky you might miss a mentor wiling to help guide her. Or in extreme case, maybe the Prof sees a 25 YO lothario eying her, and from previous courses knows the guy gets what he wants.
As said above, a breezy response keeps the communication available, yet conveys your DD is responsible. I don't get why you'd want to punish anyone for reaching out- even if student was 22!
FWIW our dual enrollment classes are also taught on the HS campus. Parents are warned there is NO communication between them and the visiting Professor. And it bugs some of them.
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melissa
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Post by melissa on Aug 24, 2014 19:41:30 GMT
I would take it as a kind gesture and nothing more. Still, not sure I'd respond beyond maybe a "thank you." My thinking is similar to anonrefugee. At some point, your dd may need letters of recommendation. This may turn out to be a good person to get a letter from, presuming the class continues to go well. Also as aside, dd started taking college classes at the age of 15. She learned very quickly after that first course to never mention her age. She's found it best for all to assume she is a "normal" age for college. Her issues have not been with professors but with fellow students. Actually, as a result, she generally avoids mentioning her age unless absolutely necessary in just about any place, aside from TSA check in.  |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 24, 2014 21:00:40 GMT
This is a slight hijack but I have a question. When did they change the rules about contact between the school and parents? I know when DS was in college his grades were addressed to him. When I was in college ~ in the dark ages ~ all communication/grades were addressed to the parents. Just curious.
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melissa
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Post by melissa on Aug 25, 2014 12:53:01 GMT
I graduated college in the mid to late 1980s. It was already this way with regards to grades. The reports with the grades would come addressed to me but that never stopped my mom from opening them! I don't remember if it was with tuition as well or not. I suspect it was as it was up to me to visit or call the financial aid office and the other appropriate offices even then.
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Post by Pahina722 on Aug 25, 2014 13:01:05 GMT
This is a slight hijack but I have a question. When did they change the rules about contact between the school and parents? I know when DS was in college his grades were addressed to him. When I was in college ~ in the dark ages ~ all communication/grades were addressed to the parents. Just curious. Well, in my college dark ages, my other had no problem contacting the college president to complain about how her special snowflake (I.e. ME) was being treated by an evil professor. How dare he give me an F? So what if she turned in the paper after he'd already posted grades? I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. I had to walk into a class with the same professor after she did that-- without my knowledge until after the fact. As far as when I remember the college making a point of forbidding us from talking to parents, it feels like about 10 years ago. Before that, we might have a dual enrollment parent talk to us, but not the parent of a legal adult. I started teaching in '88, so I'm guessing the switch was somewhere in the early to mid '80s. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2014 13:41:05 GMT
This is a slight hijack but I have a question. When did they change the rules about contact between the school and parents? I know when DS was in college his grades were addressed to him. When I was in college ~ in the dark ages ~ all communication/grades were addressed to the parents. Just curious. FERPA (Family Education Rights and Privacy Act) started in 1974. It has been amended and expanded since that time. The last update was in 2012. |
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exactly. If you want to embarrass your daughter, and ruin her experience, and the good will of a thoughtful teacher, go right ahead and report the matter.
