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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 1, 2017 18:39:18 GMT
One of those things is enough alone to turn your world upside down. But all of them together? Well I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs to you.
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Post by heartland on Aug 1, 2017 18:46:23 GMT
(((hugs)))
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763 
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Post by scrapngranny on Aug 1, 2017 18:53:25 GMT
You have had a lot thrown at you at once. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, it must be hard for your dad. A big ugly cry is good for you and probably long overdue.
Take the time to allow yourself to feel sad your son is heading away for school. That is normal and shouldn't be pushed away. After he has been gone for a while and you have had a chance absorb everything you have had to face this year and get rested up you will feel much better. You will be able to enjoy the extra relaxed time with your DH. Taking care of your dad will be easier once you have had some time to decompress from the last several months.
I hope things smooth out for you. Keep us posted.
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lisaknits
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,356
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Post by lisaknits on Aug 1, 2017 19:03:13 GMT
Hugs. Be gentle and kind with yourself.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,390
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Aug 1, 2017 19:10:49 GMT
Hugs to you. That is all a lot on your plate.
Don't hold the emotions in, let everyone know what's going on in your head. Talk to your DD. Let her know you love her, go see her if you can. Be excited for your DS, I'm sure he is excited and scared at the same time. Hug DH. Hugs are magic for me!
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Post by MissBianca on Aug 1, 2017 19:23:14 GMT
Sorry you are having a rough time with all these changes.
First you call your daughter and explain to her why you were upset, she's old enough to understand there is a lot going on emotionally. I'm sure she will get it.
Then take care of your son and yourself. You have to make yourself a priority or you will end up sick and not able to help anyone.
Are you on some kind of time constraint to help your dad sort things? Is he going to move? If there is no rush to go through your mom's things, don't push it. And ask your brothers for help, they need to be a part of the process.
Take care of yourself though, that is the most important thing. Just one of those things is hard on someone, I can't imagine all of it together.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,731
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Post by purplebee on Aug 1, 2017 19:58:04 GMT
Hugs, hugs and more hugs for you! Take some time for yourself, call your DD, and know how proud your Mom would be of her hard-working, caring, responsible daughter. You rock!!!!
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 1, 2017 20:34:51 GMT
You've been doing nothing but taking care of other people. Your brothers need to step up to the plate and give you some relief. It's hard to grieve the loss of your mother when you have to take care of your father. BTDT. In my case, my sister and worked as a team and that really made a huge difference. She was close in proximity to my parents so she took the brunt of it, but I always flew in or drove as much as possible.
It's time for you to take care of yourself first. That means finding things you enjoy doing to replace some of the time spent being a caretaker. Do you and dh have vacation time? This is the perfect time for you two and just the two of you to get away, re-connect and regroup. Your father has other children who can step in while you're away. If your dad needs physical care then you can hire someone to help out. Right now the healthiest thing you can do is take care of yourself. That's the first rule of caretaking. That way you have energy to take care of your dad and when needed your kids.
I'm really sorry that you're in this awful situation. Too many life changes at once and you likely have some big abandonment issues, because you're processing an empty nest as well as the death of your mother. I wish I could be there to chauffeur you from spa to spa. You deserve some pampering and lots of love.
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Post by anniefb on Aug 1, 2017 20:51:18 GMT
Hugs - you're dealing with a lot of loss and change at the same time. Be gentle on yourself!
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,733
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 1, 2017 21:01:13 GMT
All I can send is  That's a BIG load to carry. Be kind to yourself.  |
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Post by leannec on Aug 1, 2017 21:05:21 GMT
Hugs to you  |
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Post by *sprout* on Aug 1, 2017 21:09:13 GMT
Hugs!  |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 1, 2017 21:20:12 GMT
That's a big burden to do all alone for your parents even if your DH and kid/s stepped up to help out at home. My situation was similar as one of the younger kids living close to our mom, and since I had a flexible schedule a lot was dumped in my lap too even though my older siblings were much better off and had paid vacation time, etc. that they could have done more if they wanted to. They didn't.  So I get it. I would insist that now that your mom is gone and it's just your dad, they NEED to step up and help out in whatever ways they can. It's not fair for only one person out of several to have to put their whole life on hold to be a full time caretaker. Here's a virtual hug for you, you definitely deserve one! |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 1, 2017 21:46:58 GMT
So many (((hugs))) for you.
You have a lot to deal with and process.
Be gentle with yourself.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 1, 2017 21:51:09 GMT
You've gotten so much good advice. Just wanted to say that I hear you, and I've been in a place something like where you are. Take one day at a time, do good things for yourself and for your kids, and allow yourself time to adjust. Sending you a warm hug.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,606
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Aug 1, 2017 21:51:10 GMT
Sending you lots of love. You need to take some time to grieve your mother. This is spilling out everywhere, as you can see. I'm still feeling the aftereffects of the loss of my mom in November 2015 and I have grieved a lot. Please do this for yourself and for everyone who depends on you. Maybe find a support group for those who have lost loved ones and give yourself a chance to work this out.
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Aug 1, 2017 23:45:45 GMT
((((Hugs))))
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So I get it. I would insist that now that your mom is gone and it's just your dad, they NEED to step up and help out in whatever ways they can. It's not fair for only one person out of several to have to put their whole life on hold to be a full time caretaker.
