smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Aug 5, 2017 0:34:56 GMT
I started managing a team of 11 people in Jan. They are terrific and we have a solid team. Our team tradition for birthdays is cake and a card, and we generally do a potluck. I bring the cake (actually, I order one from Nothing Bundt. A while back, I brought in all the flavors in the bundlet sizes and we did a cake tasting so everyone could pick their favorite flavors so I can order accurately on their day.) We pass around a card. We share food. It's perfect.
Why is this a problem? It's not! But my birthday was in June, and they all chipped in for a GC. It was very sweet and I thanked them. But I don't want to create or support an expectation that they should be giving gifts to their boss. I am generally pretty good at this sort of thing but I am not sure how I can discourage this kind of thing. I just don't want them spending money on their boss. The gesture is genuine so it's not about the thought, as much as the concern that the last thing they need to spend their money on is me. A birthday card is the part that I truly appreciate, you know?
Do I just leave it be? I do not want to be ungrateful. They are all wonderful people.
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 5, 2017 0:42:23 GMT
You have to leave it be.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,378
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Aug 5, 2017 0:49:04 GMT
Thank them profusely and tell them you want a cake and a card next time.
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Post by Really Red on Aug 5, 2017 2:30:42 GMT
I just want to say I love you. My old boss accepted ridiculous gifts her staff would give her - like $250 quilts (from 5 people!). I refused to contribute. It was insane. She earned at least 3 times what I did and I was by far the highest paid person on her team.
I think you accept it graciously this year and next year you say that you are treating them for your birthday and ALL you want is a card. You have to be pre-emptive.
But thank you so much!
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Post by k8smom on Aug 5, 2017 2:46:20 GMT
You're so lucky you have a great team and that they like you...I loathe my boss!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 21, 2024 14:44:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2017 6:07:35 GMT
Thank them and then bring a box of bagels and fixings. Enjoy that they really like you.
It's okay to gift the boss as long as nobody is forced to do it.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Aug 5, 2017 6:33:38 GMT
Thank them and then bring a box of bagels and fixings. Enjoy that they really like you. It's okay to gift the boss as long as nobody is forced to do it. Thank you. I feed them pretty regularly. I keep a bin of snacks and such for open season, and bring in breakfast or lunch regularly. I will let go of this and continue to appreciate the teamwork we have.
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Post by nlwilkins on Aug 5, 2017 8:39:15 GMT
I understand where you are coming from. BUT do you know where they are coming from? So many people have bosses that are just OK to work for or worse. You must have made an impression on them that you go above and beyond and they want to acknowledge that. Also, don't you get a thrill out of giving? I do, I love the feeling I get when I can give gifts. If the gift card they gave is not too, too high then go with the flow and don't deny them the pleasure.
Now, $250 guilts for a boss is way too much. That is something that as a former boss I would feel compelled to refuse. Gifts for bosses should be reasonable and just pocket change stuff.
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Post by farmdpea on Aug 5, 2017 12:25:40 GMT
Thank them and then bring a box of bagels and fixings. Enjoy that they really like you. It's okay to gift the boss as long as nobody is forced to do it. Thank you. I feed them pretty regularly. I keep a bin of snacks and such for open season, and bring in breakfast or lunch regularly. I will let go of this and continue to appreciate the teamwork we have.
This may be why they did "extra" for your birthday. So that you feel appreciated. |
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588 
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Post by peabrain on Aug 5, 2017 13:23:59 GMT
I just quit a job that for the most part I loved because I hated my bosses.
Be happy
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
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Post by zookeeper on Aug 5, 2017 13:35:42 GMT
You have clearly made an impression on them and they just want to express their appreciation for having a great boss! I have had great bosses and I have had shitty bosses. Guess which ones I went a little extra for?
You sound like a fun and caring person to work for. A bad boss can tear a team apart so quickly. You get it and maybe some of your employees will be a boss of their own some day and they will emulate you!
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Post by paperamy on Aug 5, 2017 14:27:18 GMT
Be thankful that you have such a great team...AND that your team has such a great boss.
I work with a shitty team with no boss currently (boss transferred to another site and company has put shitty transition bosses in while they are dragging their ass finding a replacement.) The boss that transferred was shitty.
So, if I was on your team, I'd probably be one of the people who suggested the gift card or something to show you how much we care. Your employees know you obviously don't need the gift card...it's the thought. Love that they think of you fondly. 😄
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Post by NanaKate on Aug 5, 2017 14:57:56 GMT
You are very kind. Where I work it is made abundantly clear that gifts - either actual gifts or cash in the card we are all expected to sign - are expected. And the real kicker is that she claims to be Jehovah's Witness and does not celebrate birthdays.
This is accomplished by having her #1 favorite handle things and call it an "appreciation" gift for all she does for our department. Yep. This "appreciation" celebration just happens to fall on her birthday every year. And includes a potluck luncheon provided by our department. In addition to the gifts/cash. Same thing at Christmas time. 🙄
Can you tell I'm counting the days till retirement? 😂
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
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Post by kibblesandbits on Aug 5, 2017 15:41:35 GMT
I think you have to let this go. You've created an atmosphere of giving, you can hardly expect them to exclude you. Let them show their appreciation.
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Post by aljack on Aug 5, 2017 16:09:42 GMT
I commend you on your request for employees to celebrate with a card and cake! I think that's completely appropriate as it's celebrated this way for everyone.
I worked for a small preschool with a director that expected Christmas, birthday, Boss's day and end of the year gifts. I was over it, as were so many over co-workers because we bought broadway show tickets, gift cards for massages and pedicures, Pandora bracelet charms, Ruth Chris gift cards, and more. There was hell to pay if we didn't shell out for it to as she inspected the card for signatures for those that contributed or asked her daughter whom she hired on who always told us what she wanted. The daughter sent an email alerting us to the upcoming holiday/event and what we would be getting. In addition, we provided a lunch for the event which we contributed food too. In general, she passed a card for all to sign with an envie for collections. While, we the staff were lucky to get a birthday message on Facebook from her and sometimes a verbal acknowledgment. However at Christmas she always handmade an item for us like kettle corn, soup mixes, or bought us a pair of socks. The sentiment was nice of her, but we told her she didn't need to do it for us and what irked everyone was she expected us to spend effort, time, and money to think out her gifts since her love language was quality time. The board members for the church and school always said, "save your money because we know you teachers spend out, work hard, and we don't need you to buy us something." She never would back down and the preschool board even suggested for her to do the same, but couldn't enforce it. Just sad.
Thankfully out of that environment. Rant over.
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Post by peaittsburgh on Aug 5, 2017 16:36:27 GMT
I had the same issue. I did not want it to continue because I feared the girl who organized it could be pressuring everyone to contribute. Some of my team are entry level and living paycheck to paycheck. I get ahead of it by sending an email ahead of birthday and Christmas, saying something like "your generous gift last year was much appreciated, but this year I only ask to enjoy the gift of your company at our pot luck lunch." For the holidays, I mention that the Toys for Tots campaign we do at the office is near and dear to my heart, so please contribute there if you are able.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 21, 2024 14:44:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2017 19:28:37 GMT
I had the same issue. I did not want it to continue because I feared the girl who organized it could be pressuring everyone to contribute. Some of my team are entry level and living paycheck to paycheck. I get ahead of it by sending an email ahead of birthday and Christmas, saying something like "your generous gift last year was much appreciated, but this year I only ask to enjoy the gift of your company at our pot luck lunch." For the holidays, I mention that the Toys for Tots campaign we do at the office is near and dear to my heart, so please contribute there if you are able. This is perfect. |
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Post by myboysnme on Aug 5, 2017 20:36:26 GMT
I would buy something for everyone, like someone suggested bagels and fixings, and tell them, "Thank you fr the gift card. I used it to get this stuff for all of us to share."
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,884
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 5, 2017 20:40:11 GMT
Op I understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable. I like the suggestion to be gracious and leave it at that, or say just get me a card next time.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 21, 2024 14:44:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2017 0:56:09 GMT
Use that gift card to take everyone out for a team lunch, or for your birthday have everyone volunteer the day for a charity like Habitat for Humanity, the local food bank - something that everyone can celebrate and is a gift that gives to everyone.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 6, 2017 4:04:08 GMT
I understand where you are coming from. BUT do you know where they are coming from? So many people have bosses that are just OK to work for or worse. You must have made an impression on them that you go above and beyond and they want to acknowledge that. Also, don't you get a thrill out of giving? I do, I love the feeling I get when I can give gifts. If the gift card they gave is not too, too high then go with the flow and don't deny them the pleasure. Now, $250 guilts for a boss is way too much. That is something that as a former boss I would feel compelled to refuse. Gifts for bosses should be reasonable and just pocket change stuff. While I can appreciate what you're saying here, my experience when I was young and broke had been that the people organizing stuff like this were the suck up types that arm twist everyone else into doing their bidding whether everyone else can afford to kick something in or not. Now that DH and I own businesses and have had various employees over the years, I would not want subordinates who make less than I do to spend their money on me especially if they really can't afford it. As for reasonable pocket change gifts, I have to say that if it's something I want and can afford I probably already own it so please don't bother. I would much rather you spend that money on yourself or your own loved ones no matter how wonderful you think I am. Get or make me a nice card, write something thoughtful in it and call it a day. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 6, 2017 4:56:30 GMT
I just quit a job that for the most part I loved because I hated my bosses. Be happy People don't quit jobs...they quit bosses - you are perfect example:) |
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