silly problem: can't scrap when hubby is working

This would have been ok on NSBR.

I think you need to think that what he's doing is "relaxing" to him. Just because he's raking leaves doesn't mean he's not enjoying himself and just because your scrapping doesn't mean you're not accomplishing something important.

Mine is currently painting the trim on our house. I am not. We each have our own things we do. Sometimes his weeks are rough, and sometimes mine are. If I made his rough weeks mine too, I'd just be creating more work for me to do. The fact that no one in my house is around for the days prior to help with holiday meals, holiday shopping and wrapping etc. makes me feel fine about it.

I find that it's easier to do things like sit and read a book while DH is traveling for work, which is about once per week. He does the same as the OP's DH: makes me feel guilty about relaxing, even if it's for a half-hour.

On the other hand, it is also easier to get things done such as painting walls or doing some other home improvement project when he is traveling. So my book-reading is my reward

I used to feel that way. After a while I just...stopped. I stopped feeling guilty about it. I don't need to match my husband's work pace or time spent working or anything really. We're different people. We enjoy our time together and we enjoy our time apart.

I read this after I posted. So if he feels like you aren't doing as much as he is and is resentful of it I think you need a different division of labor. And that's the same advice I would give a pea if the roles were reversed. He might not be the type that relaxes easily. But you also have to do your part around the house so you can indulge in your hobbies guilt free.

Maybe tackle some household projects with dh from time to time, and then also make time for your crafting?  I'm sure you already do plenty, but maybe this will help him somewhat. I know my fiance' and I go through the same thing, but when we do projects together from time to time, we don't really make a fuss when either one of us wants to take breaks doing our own thing

I feel guilty going down to my studio by myself when he's home watching tv or doing nothing. He works hard and when he's at home relaxing I feel like we should be spending time together as a family. I feel weird sneaking off by myself to do anything on my own even if I know he's happy doing what he's doing and I would be happy doing something different. If I were to go down to my studio, it wouldn't take long before DD migrated down there too and then DH would be sitting by his lonesome upstairs. What's really weird is that if I plan a weekend to spend time with my scrapping friends it doesn't bother me at all (but usually in that case he'll take off to the lake), but those weekends are few and far between.

I could have written your post! It has taken me 28 years of marriage to figure out that it's okay if I don't work 24/7 like my dh. This is his way of unwinding and stress relief. It's not mine. I will try to get some tasks done on the weekend while he's working, but eventually I will just tell him that I am done working and want to go play in my scrap room now. I do think it's a balance. Luckily, he never says a word.

Sometimes, I let dh know that "this weekend I want to scrap all day, Saturday." I figure that if I don't tell him what I want, how will he know? And that way, he knows that I don't want to paint the fence and then put in a walkway, so he better pick a different weekend! Lol!

That's not to say that I didn't feel guilty in the early days of our marriage. It's just that I'm over it, now. 😉

Mine does just fine with relaxing, but I am still much better at it.  He teaches 8-1 twice a week during the college semesters (15 weeks each).  I work 20 hours a week and volunteer once a week.  Technically I work many more hours, and that isn't even, so it all pans out.

I do love that my husband does a bunch of housework though.  We were not getting married with his perception of how couples split work.  The woman does the inside work and the guy does the outside work.  Had to call BS on that!  

(((hugs))) to both of you.


This thread makes me glad that I'm divorced and have no one to answer to when I scrapbook and leave the laundry for another day.

Yes, my husband excels at napping and watching crappy TV.  ha!! 

In all fairness, there's certain things he can't do because of a back injury/surgeries so I get that he can't do much or keep up.  I generally don't mind but sometimes I am tired too.  

You aren't alone, although I don't get much guilt from my DH. His "fun" time is working on projects or getting chores done. The only TV he watches is at 3 a.m. while he drinks his cup of coffee before work or when we go to bed (and he falls asleep right away) otherwise he is always doing something! My fun time is scrapping. He is often doing projects that I could be helping with, but he rarely asks or expects me to. Kid stuff is always first priority and our family eats together almost every night.

There are times that if we have a big project that we have to tackle together, he will make a point of asking when I'm going to be available for that. Usually we will carve out time to work on it together and then he goes back to his stuff and I go back to scrapping.

Occasionally I do feel guilty if its a nice day and I've been scrapping in my PJ's since I got up. He would likely tease me about that and really, I know when I've had enough time for myself. I get a lot of scrapping time these day since my kids are older and have fewer activities but I also have a long list of other things I want to get done and I sometimes need to get better about getting to them (or just let them go!). I'm likely to make myself feel guilty before he would.

If he isn't make you feel guilty, I say let it go and do your own thing! And I don't see why you should need to compare how active and sedentary you are in your free time. I would never judge anyone for reading in their free time (well except my mom who reads all.the.time in bed with a snack).

My DH is a "can't sit still" kind of person. I don't mind. He does what we wants to do, and I do what I want to do. He calms down in the evening.