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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 29, 2017 19:30:24 GMT
I always love getting a variety of opinions from the Peas.
My daughter just started high school and I want her to be more independent and learn to manage her money.
She doesn't buy lunch but might occasionally, if running late or we don't have anything she wants to eat at home.
She does theatre 2/3 times a week after school and sometimes they stop for a Starbucks on the way there.
I don't pay her to do chores but she does them. She doesn't babysit but would like to.
I'd like to give her a set amount of money every month that she can use to buy Starbucks, I buy her clothes but if there is something particular she wants doesn't need she would pay for it, she could use it to go out with friends etc. No driving yet so no gas or anything like that.
I don't know what is a reasonable amount. My thought is about $125 a month. $25 to cover a shirt or dinner out, and 25 a week to cover snacks, and other miscellaneous.
Does that sound reasonable? I figured I'd put it in her account every other week, expect her to keep $25 in there so she has an emergency money and then let her manage it.
Thoughts? Or how do you work it with your teen?
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 17:07:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2017 19:32:55 GMT
I don't think that is unreasonable. I fund a "schoolnamebucks" account for my twins at college - averages out to about 25/ week for coffee and meals and snacks.
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Post by melanell on Aug 29, 2017 19:40:36 GMT
I don't know what we're going to do, exactly, so I'll be watching this thread. DS will have a lot more freedom to roam around town on his own this year, so it stands to reason that he's going to need to have cash on hand. But we haven't figured out how that will work yet. He gets a small allowance now, and he mostly saves it. I want to give him more so that he doesn't start hitting the money he's been saving for silly stuff like trips to the coffee shop or something, but on the flip side, I don't want to hand over so much more that he feels he can be super frivolous with it, either. His allowance has never been linked to chores, and with more demands on his time as he gets older, I don't want to start that. But I am thinking of offering him opportunities to do some work for me here or there for a set amount of pay as well as upping his currently meager allowance.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 29, 2017 20:18:00 GMT
I'm a cheapo mine lived on $12 a week. But we provided everything for them, including lunch so it seemed fine to me that they got $12
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Post by hop2 on Aug 29, 2017 20:19:58 GMT
I'm a cheapo mine lived on $12 a week. But we provided everything for them, including lunch so it seemed fine to me that they got $12 Oh, and that couldn't have been too bad as in preparing to leave for college tomorrow DS just deposited over $250 in stockpiled allowance in his bank.
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Post by littlemama on Aug 29, 2017 20:23:03 GMT
I would start lower than that. If you give her all that she needs, she will never learn to budget. I would start with $50/month, but I would also put money on her Lunch card for school and not tie that into the budget - probably enough for 10 times per month. If the $50 really isn't enough, you can revisit later, but if you start at $125, you can never go back. We are talking about a HS freshman, so it's not like she is driving and needs gas money.
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Post by polz on Aug 29, 2017 20:28:47 GMT
My daughter has worked since she was 13 years old. So has always earned over $50 per week. In the last year, she saved up $12000 to help pay for her study abroad. Most high schoolers in New Zealand work. As parents we believe it allows them to learn time management and the value of a dollar. My DD is highly incentivised to not be a minimum wage earning adult after her experience of working in a pizza shop and stacking boxes in a warehouse. So, I've never given her any pocket money/allowance. Before she got her job, we paid for everything. I asked around a few ladies in my office, but all the teens work and don't get any allowance. Parents pay for necessary things such as school uniform and bus passes and kids pay for things like going to the movies or buying a car.
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Sarah*H
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Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Aug 29, 2017 20:32:06 GMT
We provide $20 a week for our teenage son to use however he wants - the movies, dinner with friends, snacks at Sheetz, etc. After that, he pays for anything else from his own funds. Our kids do have chores and they receive a set amount for each check mark (I think 4 check marks is $7.50.) My husband is teaching them to keep a checkbook register so that's how we handle deposits and withdrawals. To encourage them to save rather than waste it all on soda at the movies, they get monthly interest on their balance. I would guesstimate that 16 yo ds spends about $40/month over his free allowance so $125 seems about right to me.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Aug 29, 2017 20:36:11 GMT
My kids are younger, but like most kids they have chores to do. They know what needs done and who does which chore. They do NOT get paid for cleaning up after themselves and taking care of the pets. However, I do have a list of chores that are not part of their regular chores that they can get paid to do. These are thing I would normally take care of. Theirs is a little more detailed because they are younger so I have a price for each chore. With her being older, maybe if she can take over something you normally would do, like laundry, that will earn her money each week or month for her extra things. My parents did the same thing for me. I would clean their bedroom and bathroom and do their laundry if I saw it needing done. It was almost like having a job that I got paid to do.
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 29, 2017 20:38:09 GMT
Please DO NOT tell my kids that someone got $125 a month for allowance! I thought I was being generous with their allowance--they get $1 per grade level. So 9th grade gets $9, 12th grade gets $12... I have easy access to both kids' bank accounts and can transfer money is a minute or less. If they need money, then can text me to transfer funds or I just pay them back when they get home.
It's easier to increase her allowance if she needs more, but reducing her allowance if they have too much spending $$ is harder. And I found that those kids who had a lot of spending money always got hit up by the other kids to buy them snacks/Starbucks/treats.
Both are now in college. They get a set amount each week for an allowance that we treat more like a paycheck. It covers some groceries and incidentals (like toiletries.) I pay for any travel expenses to come home and will put the occasional gift card in a care package. They both work about 6-8 hours a week on campus.
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Gennifer
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Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Aug 29, 2017 20:45:01 GMT
My teenagers begin working at our family business when they turn 14. Prior to that, I give them spending money as needed, but we live in a rural area, so there's not much hanging out/spending money without a parent. If my younger kids want to save up for something in particular, we have extra things they can do for money.
I don't believe in paying for chores. To me, that goes with being part of a family... we all contribute to keeping our house clean and in good shape.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 17:07:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2017 20:52:22 GMT
I give my daughter the same amount of money ($125) monthly -- until she lost both sets of smart keys to her Prius and it cost us almost $1000 to get them replaced. Now she lives off $75 month until she pays us back.
I am trying to use allowance to teach my kids how to manage money. I do tie chores to it in a different way - if they don't do their chores by the deadline in which they need to be done, they pay a fine (anywhere from $2 to $5). This teaches them that they have to meet their deadlines.
My oldest thinks money grows on trees. My youngest counts every penny.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 29, 2017 20:53:22 GMT
$125/month seems like an awful lot to me. Do you feel this is a comparable amount to what you give her now for lunches, Starbucks, and clothes?
I understand wanting to give her a lump sum so that she learns money management skills instead of just handing over little bits every time she asks but if I were you I'd make sure she understands that this amount is for the whole month. If she spends $100 of it on clothes then don't come back asking for more for lunch/Starbucks. A lot of teenagers I know wouldn't be able to handle a big lump sum like that and would just blow it on clothes/makeup/itunes and the like.
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Post by kristi on Aug 29, 2017 21:04:47 GMT
I think $125 a month to start with is excessive and not really teaching her to budget (esp if you already pay for everything).
I would give her a monthly deposit starting at $75 & let her manage it. She can get water with a snack @ Starbucks to make the money go further.
Life lessons.
Eventually, you will have gas, clothes, movies, dates, dances...I would start low as it is much easier to increase then try to go back & decrease.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 29, 2017 21:11:52 GMT
Technically, we never gave our kids an allowance through HS. If I'd given them $25 a week for Starbucks or fast food they would have spent every cent of it treating their friends. We provided their basic clothing needs and lunch needs. Anything extra they paid for from their Christmas/birthday money and gift cards. There is always an opportunity to earn extra cash through recycling with DH or doing projects around the house (weekly/daily chores are a part of living with people). DD and friends stopped at Starbucks maybe 2-3 times a month, not a week. I've found that when it is their money and not being replenished every week, they aren't quite so free with it. SaveSave
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 29, 2017 21:26:52 GMT
I never got allowance and neither did my DH, so we don't plan to do that with our kid. Both of us were industrious as kids. He mowed grass and shoveled snow. I babysat, helped my brother with his paid paper route and shoveled snow among other things to earn pocket money until I was old enough to get a part time job I could walk to. I think that the other important thing kids learn from having a job of any kind (even something casual like babysitting or yard work) is time management. Once they go off to college, they need to know how to budget their time as well as their money.
Back to your original question, I think $125 a month is kind of a lot for a freshman but I guess it could depend on what the cost of living is where you live. I'd be more inclined to give a lesser amount with the option of earning extra money for extra jobs done that take things off your plate. I also wouldn't pay it in one lump sum either. I'd do it biweekly which is how most people get paid.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 29, 2017 21:28:34 GMT
We have the same issue. I can guarantee we won't be giving $125 per month, though. Probably more like $10 a week with the option to earn more with bigger chores. We have four kids so need to consider that with the budget. Also, I can't imagine what he would need to spend $125 on per month that wouldn't include a lot of junk food and trips to a gas station/vending machines.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 29, 2017 21:32:45 GMT
I'm trying to discourage the starbucks habit, not encourage it. Mine receive $50 a month - that doesn't include any lunch money or clothing. They don't have a ton of free time either - so it really turns into, do I want to go to a movie this week or starbucks. Both of them work occasionally - babysitting, yard work, etc and they do receive birthday money from relatives that also supplements.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 29, 2017 21:38:50 GMT
We didn't ever give an allowance past 8 years old. They started mowing lawns for neighbors and then used that $ for the rest of the year. We did pay for clothes, lunches, and they learned quickly that if they went out with us on the weekends, meals and entertainment were paid for. I would definitely let her start babysitting now and have her learn to budget ASAP. I would pay for her food and most clothing and let her earn her cash for drinks and entertainment on the weekends. Kids should have a good couple of years of knowing how to manage and invest money before they leave home. When my boys first started earning $, we gave them envelopes for different spending choices. No money? Don't buy it. To this day, they are both really good at saving for things they really want and skipping things (like expensive drinks) that they realized are a little frivolous.
I did have a short list of chores that I hated doing and would put a money amount on them for a limited time. Dusting all of the wooden blinds in the house could get you $20 for about an hour's work. It was the best $20 I ever spent.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Aug 29, 2017 21:59:20 GMT
My personal experience is, it's MUCH easier for teens to spend their parent's money than it is to spend money they earn on their own.
If you want her to learn how to properly manage money, maybe start by requiring her to have some "skin in the game" - like a part time job, even if it's only a few hours a week.
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Post by redshoes on Aug 29, 2017 22:05:22 GMT
I think $25/week is a lot. There are a lot of varying opinions on allowance being earned vs given freely, etc. so you'll see a wide range on a message board.
Personally, I think kids learn better money management when they manage what they earn. I spend gift money differently than I do money I worked for, KWIM?
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ellen
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Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 29, 2017 22:32:15 GMT
We do $100 a month. We pay for all of their school lunches, athletic fees, and school related expenses. They were expected to pay for all of their spending and fun money. They also were to buy their own clothes. I will pay for special occasion clothes, winter jackets, boots, etc. If I didnt require my kids to buy their own clothes $100 would be too much. If they want more money they needed to figure out a way to make it. My older daughter got a part-time job when she lived with us. We just started doing this with my younger daughter and I'd like to think that eventually she'll get a job too.
I feel like this has been a good thing for my kids. My older daughter became very good about shopping sales. I don't think she ever ran out of money. She likes to spend money and has always been really good about working and earning money so that she can be a consumer. When she went to college we quit giving her money for her personal expenses. Two years into it she has not asked us for money once, so I feel like she has good money management skills. That's why we did this. We wanted our kids to have an amount that would take care of what they need without them asking us for $20 every week. We wanted them to have the responsibility of actually spending and managing money.
My daughter and her friends were fans of Caribou Coffee which meant they would buy $4 coffee drinks. They also hung out there and drank them while visiting with their friends. As much as I thought it was a waste of money, I kept reminding myself that my kid could be in someone's basement drinking beer instead. If she ran out of money because of coffee drinks then she would figure out that maybe that wasn't a great way to spend money.
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Post by brina on Aug 29, 2017 22:52:14 GMT
my kids have been getting allowance since they were 3 - $1 per year of age. They have all learned over the years to save for things that they want. I have never handed them money for candy or treats when we are out of the house. From an early age they knew to take their wallets with them if they thought they might want something.
My boys are seniors this year and I have deposited $1000 into each of their checking accounts. They have to buy their own clothing, lunches, books and fees at schools such as trips, etc. That $1000 has to last them the entire school year and they have to provide me an accounting of how the money is spent. I figure it is good practice for next year and I will not be getting constant money phone calls when they are off at college.
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Post by Flowergirl on Aug 29, 2017 23:32:02 GMT
We didn't give allowances to DS/DD once they hit high school and got jobs. We covered their needs and things for school/sports/special occasions like prom and they covered their wants/entertainment etc.
Both started working the summer they finished 8th grade. DS was a three season athlete, so he didn't work during the school year and used his summer job money and money he earned mowing lawns for spending throughout the year. DD worked after school few days a week all through high school. She earned her own fun money, enough to pay for half of her trip to Italy her junior year, and had a nice nest egg for college.
I don't think they spent close to $125/mo. We put money in their school lunch account at the start of the month and provided lunch/snack items. They budgeted the account to make it last through the month. If they blew through it in a week, they packed their lunch the rest of the month.
They also always seemed to have gift cards from family/friends from Christmas and birthdays to supplement their job money. We usually would stuff some gcs in their stockings for places they liked.
Like others above, we never linked allowance to chores. Everyone in the family had responsibilities in contributing to the care and functioning of the household. Now that DS graduated college in may and relocated for a job and DD just started college 4.5 hrs away, all of their household jobs are ours to do again...this might be the worst part of having an empty nest 😂.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 29, 2017 23:37:19 GMT
Ds gets between $20 and $30 per week. I also supplement when he has an away game and he can earn more money around the house.
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quiltedbrain
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Jun 26, 2014 3:34:53 GMT
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Post by quiltedbrain on Aug 30, 2017 0:07:29 GMT
DD is a senior and prior to this summer, she did not have an allowance. She went to Governor's School this summer, so we started giving her $25 a week to cover things like meals out while she was there, the Gov School paraphernalia she wanted, etc. Once back home, she approached us with the idea of continuing the allowance. The idea is for her to cover any fun things she wants to do including eating out with friends, her clothing and to start saving. We also set her up with her own budget within our You Need A Budget account to help her learn to prioritize her spending.
OP, if memory serves me right, we live in the same state, so I'm guessing similar cost of living...
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 30, 2017 0:41:58 GMT
I would start lower than that. If you give her all that she needs, she will never learn to budget. I would start with $50/month, but I would also put money on her Lunch card for school and not tie that into the budget - probably enough for 10 times per month. If the $50 really isn't enough, you can revisit later, but if you start at $125, you can never go back. We are talking about a HS freshman, so it's not like she is driving and needs gas money. Thanks. I don't even know how the whole lunch thing works she has never been at a school with a cafeteria or a proper gym for that matter. SO new to me!
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Post by melanell on Aug 30, 2017 0:49:06 GMT
Technically, we never gave our kids an allowance through HS. If I'd given them $25 a week for Starbucks or fast food they would have spent every cent of it treating their friends. This is my DS. I cannot tell you how many times we sent that boy with spending money on this or that trip and he came home and told us how he bought this or that for his friends. I'm glad he's generous, but......... Save
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 30, 2017 1:11:06 GMT
My teenagers begin working at our family business when they turn 14. Prior to that, I give them spending money as needed, but we live in a rural area, so there's not much hanging out/spending money without a parent. If my younger kids want to save up for something in particular, we have extra things they can do for money. I don't believe in paying for chores. To me, that goes with being part of a family... we all contribute to keeping our house clean and in good shape. I started working in our family business when I was in 7th grade. I wish I had one for my kid to work in. They learn so much !
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 30, 2017 1:19:25 GMT
I'm surprised so many of your kids have jobs! I don't know anyone around here who have teenagers who work.
I hope when she is 16 she'll be able to find a part-time job. She does theatre 3 - 6 days a week. So that makes getting a job rough. I give her some work to do from my job but it's not consistent.
I think I"ll start with $60 and see how that goes... as many have pointed out it is easier to raise it than lower it.
Thanks for your insight.
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