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May 15, 2024 3:04:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2017 5:04:34 GMT
ok, my daughter is a senior in her fourth yr matching band. Freshman she was a shadow and last two yrs was on the field. This year when the band director assigned positions he asked if there was anyone he didn't assign. My daughter said her. He hadn't called her name for any position at all aka forgot about her. Well he then told another band member he was no longer primary and my daughter "took" his spot making him a shadow. Well I guess that didn't go over very well with other band members because an officer w not to band director and accused my daughter of stating seniors d serve to have a spot because it was their last year of marching band. If you knew my daughter that is not her at all and she was very upset about having to be called into the band directors office. Add that the boy who lost his spot to her had his mother come in and complain to band director about removing him from primary to shadow. So the next day my daughter was made shadow and the boy was given back the primary spot. i haven't stepped into the matter at all but am upset that #1 the director forgot to assign my daughter a spot at all in the band. #2 assigned her primary then changed his mind when others complained about his decision (aka when the mother came in to complain) it wasn't like he assigned her shadow first then decided to switch. My daughter is devastated, she gave up her vet med class that she was in last yr to stay in band since she had to retake physics only to be benched for the marching season. She is basically a "water boy" for the band. Out of the 100+ band members ther are just 8 shadows meaning everyone but them play at games and the move all the equipment on and off field for the "real" band members. If she had known that she would not be marching she would of given up band and stayed in vet med to graduated as a certified vet assistiant. so if you made it this far would you be "that" parent and interven or just let this be and basically let your kid see that sometimes you get screwed over from a higher ups mistake ( not assigning her anything then giving her position only to take it back?) I would have her see what she can do to get out of band and back into the vet med class or has school been in session too long? |
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Post by auroraborealis on Sept 2, 2017 6:07:09 GMT
What a sad situation. I would likely be "that parent" and discuss what you said with the band director, or try to get her into vet med. She is a senior too, and has been in marching band 4 years, it seems ridiculous she should be a shadow. How disorganized.  |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2017 6:09:08 GMT
Let her quit and do something fun.
I quit orchestra my senior year because the teacher gave my chair to a newbie and just that extra bit of bitchiness, I never told the teacher I was going to. I just didn't show up. I knew I wasn't going to play violin any more so no sense in staying.
So many things I missed out on because of orchestra.
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 2, 2017 6:27:42 GMT
My daughter is devastated, she gave up her vet med class that she was in last yr to stay in band since she had to retake physics only to be benched for the marching season. ...... If she had known that she would not be marching she would of given up band and stayed in vet med to graduated as a certified vet assistiant. I'm not familiar with the US school system, and marching bands aren't a thing here........ It sounds odd to me that she either had to choose between vet med classes (which would lead to a career) and marching which would lead to.... what exactly? I think that if being a vet assistant is something your daughter really wants to do (although perhaps it isn't otherwise she would have chosen to do vet med classes in the first place) then maybe you should encourage her to quit the marching band and see if you can help her get into the vet med class after all. Apart from that, it really is a shame that they mucked her around like that. |
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zella
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Post by zella on Sept 2, 2017 6:37:40 GMT
Oh, I'd step in here.
Your daughter needs to quit band. It will be a complete waste of time for her, and it will only make her feel bad. What the band director did is shitty, and even if your daughter was added back in, she'd never feel really good about it again, would she? She can still play her instrument, even have lessons if that's important to her, right? Life's too short to put up with that kind of BS.
It is crazy to waste an entire year. If there's a way for her to still get into the vet tech program, she should do that. Otherwise she should pick something fun, something that WILL give her pleasure.
Don't just sit back; your daughter needs your guidance here, I think.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 2, 2017 9:49:40 GMT
Too late to mend fences I think. It sounds like someone has to become a shadow for your daughter to be a full marcher. Advise her to get out now before it ruins her whole senior year. If there is an orchestra component or a concert band she can get into, she might try that. But, who ever is removed for her to march will always hold it against her and there is nothing the band director can do about that unless he adds another position and it sounds like he is not interested in doing that.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 2, 2017 10:09:22 GMT
How large is this marching band that everyone doesn't march??
Anyway, I would go to the school and meet with the principal and request that your daughter be transferred back to the vet class. And is requesting doesn't work, insist.
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Post by *sprout* on Sept 2, 2017 10:22:44 GMT
I would absolutely step in and help her. However, I would not be meeting with the band director. That fence cannot be mended. I would be meeting with the principal and work with him/her to get my dd back into the vet med program.
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kibblesandbits
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Post by kibblesandbits on Sept 2, 2017 11:05:55 GMT
Oh, yeah. Step in. I don't understand the idea of "shadows" - usually a marching routine needs more feet than are available. Your director sounds like an idiot.
Let her bail and do something she loves, and make sure the band director knows exactly why.
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Post by monklady123 on Sept 2, 2017 11:11:49 GMT
Leaving aside the issue of "shadows"....I've never heard of that. Here if you're good enough to get into the marching band then you march... But anyway, I would definitely be *that* parent but not with the band director. I agree that it's too late for that. He sounds like a lovely person [insert sarcasm] and that was an awful thing to do to a senior!  No, I'd be in the office discussing with the principal how my dd's schedule would be changing to accommodate her vet tech class. What a waste of time to be a "shadow" for the entire year. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 2, 2017 11:47:59 GMT
I'd be in the office discussing with the principal how my dd's schedule would be changing to accommodate her vet tech class. What a waste of time to be a "shadow" for the entire year. This exactly. Also, when I was a bit calmer, I would be writing a letter to the principal and the school's superintendent, explaining that due to the marching band teacher's indifference and lack of planning, your daughter's entire roster had to be changed to avoid a wasted year as a shadow after three years already in marching band, two of which as a primary. I hope your daughter has a great senior year, marching teacher be damned. |
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 2, 2017 11:53:55 GMT
How large is this marching band that everyone doesn't march?? Anyway, I would go to the school and meet with the principal and request that your daughter be transferred back to the vet class. And is requesting doesn't work, insist. These are my thoughts, too. I am shocked everyone doesn't get to march. My kids were in a state championship level marching band. Everyone who wanted to participate and showed up for all rehearsals marched. This is the time to advocate for your kid. |
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Post by smasonnc on Sept 2, 2017 11:57:37 GMT
Oh, I'd step in here. Your daughter needs to quit band. It will be a complete waste of time for her, and it will only make her feel bad. What the band director did is shitty, and even if your daughter was added back in, she'd never feel really good about it again, would she? She can still play her instrument, even have lessons if that's important to her, right? Life's too short to put up with that kind of BS. It is crazy to waste an entire year. If there's a way for her to still get into the vet tech program, she should do that. Otherwise she should pick something fun, something that WILL give her pleasure. Don't just sit back; your daughter needs your guidance here, I think. This. I've dealt with a band director who played favorites and it's sh*++y. There are plenty of places to play where she doesn't have to be a roadie or be made to feel like less of a part of things. I've never heard of this shadow thing. Why not just put everyone on the field? The band isn't that big that you couldn't find a place for 8 kids. Your director is a douche and an indecisive one at that. |
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Sept 2, 2017 12:13:34 GMT
How large is this marching band that everyone doesn't march?? Anyway, I would go to the school and meet with the principal and request that your daughter be transferred back to the vet class. And is requesting doesn't work, insist. These are my thoughts, too. I am shocked everyone doesn't get to march. My kids were in a state championship level marching band. Everyone who wanted to participate and showed up for all rehearsals marched. This is the time to advocate for your kid. Yes. This director needs to have a field show that includes all of the students. He should have an idea of how many students he'll have from year to year by how many are enrolled district wide in band programs. I am a band mom, so this is crazy to me. |
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ellen
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Post by ellen on Sept 2, 2017 12:32:05 GMT
The director is perfectly capable of coming up with a plan where all band members are on the field. I also think it was shitty that the director yanked another kid and gave his spot to your daughter. This whole shadow thing is shitty no matter who is the shadow. Seriously they have 100+ kids on the field, but we can't have a show that can involve 8 more kids. We need those kids to do grunt work. I'd be having that conversation with the band director. And if that conversation doesn't go well, then you go to the principal.
I say this as someone who had a kid in marching band. This is ridiculous.
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Post by jamielynn on Sept 2, 2017 12:45:28 GMT
I would have her speak to the counselor about vet med. If that didn't work I'd absolutely go in and advocate for her to get back in there. If she couldn't I'd go speak to the band director. I would not make her shadow her senior year of band due to a teachers error before season or school even started. (Disclaimer no kids that age yet)
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suzastampin
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Post by suzastampin on Sept 2, 2017 12:58:33 GMT
Drop the band. I'd have her see if she can get back into the vet class. If she doesn't have any luck, I'd step in and take it as far up the ladder that it takes to get her back in. School hasn't been in session that long. When I was a senior, I refused to take calculus and physics because this one teacher taught both. I'd had him for algebra 2 my junior year. We only got through 6 chapters my junior year. I refused to waste two class periods a day for nothing. Back in the dark ages, you were considered either college bound or not. The principal wouldn't kept me switch to typing and shorthand because I was college bound. I ended up having to go all the way to the school board, but in the end, I ended up taking shorthand and typing.
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zookeeper
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Post by zookeeper on Sept 2, 2017 13:27:22 GMT
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zookeeper
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Post by zookeeper on Sept 2, 2017 13:33:15 GMT
Our marching band has over 700 members. Let that sink in. Our school district firmly believes in allowing students to march if they want to. Kids who are involved in extra curricular activities are less likely to get into trouble. And in our town...being in band is cool.
It is silly that her band director cannot figure out to how work all of the students into the field program.
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Post by buddysmom on Sept 2, 2017 13:37:47 GMT
Way back when I was in marching band, everyone marched.
Often the "better" musicians are not the "better marchers."
I was neither, I played bells (glockenspiel) and was not coordinated but I played every football game my senior year of HS and first year of college.
I quit in college because it took up way too much of my time.
I've never heard of shadowing.
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Post by mom on Sept 2, 2017 13:39:18 GMT
OH I would for sure get involved. Your daughter needs to get out of there.
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Post by peano on Sept 2, 2017 13:45:06 GMT
I'll just echo what the other band moms are saying. We have a pit crew comprised of volunteer parents/siblings/other interested parties of band members who move props and do the grunt work. It is incomprehensible to me to make band members, who, if they're anything like ours, work their asses off in two weeks of band camp and 2-3 practices a week for months, do this job instead of march. It's not only unfair, it deprives the team of 8 more instruments that could be used to improve the show.
That being said, you need to advocate for your daughter by having a meeting with the band director/school administrators about this.
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Post by hop2 on Sept 2, 2017 13:46:43 GMT
We don't do that shadow stuff here. So your in band or you aren't. And band hasn't turned anyone away since I can remember.
Weird way of doing things. Even my DD's college marching band did not do that crap with shadows.
I'd start by having my child talk to the director. And see what was said. If she didn't like the response then I'd maybe talk with the director or see about the vet tech class. But then again I'm talking from my experience here where the band director is open and accessible to talk to students. ( and is a kind man, and would never have done any of that publicly to a band member )
So I've got no real advice because that would never happen here ever. But I'm wondering what kind of teacher the band director is to do all of that publicly to your DD and perhaps she's better off not in band if that's how that director acts
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Post by gypsymama on Sept 2, 2017 13:48:56 GMT
our marching band (in west texas) had alternates but they were NEVER seniors! grades came out once before contest so those who didn't pass ended up not marching and the alternates filled those spots... but yea, i'm that mom and i'd be in the director's office. maybe advocate for her to get into the vet med thing and see if she could push thru that and make up the work she's missed (not sure how long y'all have been back in school)
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Sept 2, 2017 14:13:36 GMT
I've never heard of shadowing. I have only seen shadowing in huge College bands like Wisconsin. |
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Post by julieinsweden on Sept 2, 2017 14:30:05 GMT
Regardless of the band situation, I can't get past that she dropped vet med to be in the band. I think you have a bigger issue than the stupid stunt that the director has just pulled. Career come before band.
It's time to find out the real reason she dropped vet med. If she really really wants to work with animals then I would take it all the way up to the top to get her back in class.
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Post by utmr on Sept 2, 2017 14:36:18 GMT
Agree with the others. Even if the director is forced to put her in a spot, it seems that she will have issues with other members. I'd bypass the director and go to the principal and get her back into vet med, or whatever class she wants. Good luck.
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Post by dockmaster on Sept 2, 2017 14:37:00 GMT
My daughter Quit her junior year to pursue dual enrollment. Her director would not work with her to be in the band class she needed to be able to take the college classes she needed. She is happy with her decision. She is graduating a semester early and moving on to a 4 year school in January. She will be a college junior at the 4 year school. Band is an awesome extracurricular, but regular school trumps it.
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Post by utmr on Sept 2, 2017 14:38:42 GMT
Regardless of the band situation, I can't get past that she dropped vet med to be in the band. I think you have a bigger issue than the stupid stunt that the director has just pulled. Career come before band. It's time to find out the real reason she dropped vet med. If she really really wants to work with animals then I would take it all the way up to the top to get her back in class. I don't know about the OP school, but my DD took vet med. Here, it is more of a fun, fluffy elective rather than a serious career class. DD liked it because the class was interesting yet not demanding and worked as a study hall / social hour in the middle of the day. |
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Post by bigbundt on Sept 2, 2017 14:41:38 GMT
I would encourage my daughter to go back to the vet program and put my fighting energy there.
I would also be putting in a formal complaint about the band director as far up as it can possibly go. Your daughter did nothing wrong, appeared to follow procedures and band processes correctly, had been a member in good standing all her high school career, and yet the band director will not correct HIS mistake without penalizing students (both your daughter and the other band member he tried to replace)? He deserves to be blasted for that. I'm surprised the other band members and parents aren't speaking up for your daughter.
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