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Post by pondrunner on Sept 20, 2017 1:07:32 GMT
My DH is a bit clueless regarding chores. He will ignore things a lot longer than me. So we resorted to a system where I write down a bunch of chores in a list on the refrigerator and we split it evenly by number, first come first pick. Kids have chores too on the fridge.
We are a 2 income family and it varies what chores take more time each week so we don't have a standard division of labor every week. We have almost no outdoor work because our HOA mows and takes care of leaves.
If you are a two income family how do you divide up chores? Maybe there's a better system. This is inspired by the thread do you put away your husband's laundry.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Sept 20, 2017 1:11:44 GMT
The closest we have to a system is every two weeks me yelling at my family to pick up their stuff because the cleaner is coming.
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Post by redshoes on Sept 20, 2017 1:15:34 GMT
Husband: laundry, lawn care, auto care, trash/recycle and all tv issues 😬 Me: cooking, cleaning (daily stuff as we do have a maid), paying bills, all kids activities to/from, parent volunteering, etc
This is the major stuff and we help each other out on any of the above as needed
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 20, 2017 1:18:00 GMT
My DH is a truck driver. He's rarely home so I basically only require him to mow the lawn and do repairs. My 17 year old DD used to help with chores around the house but since she started working she doesn't have time to help much around the house. She does her own laundry. My 15 year old DS I give allowance money to clean the upstairs bathroom and sweep and mop the floors. He also does his own laundry. My 13 year old stepdaughter cleans the basement bathroom every other weekend when they are here. I give her money too. I take care of everything else.
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
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Post by psiluvu on Sept 20, 2017 1:19:41 GMT
We don't have a list or anything we have just sort of fallen into a pattern after 21 years.
DH does laundry. I put it away. I dust and vacuum, he cleans the floors ( we have way more flooring than carpeting) I do the meal planning, we call grocery shopping our date night. I prep dinner but he does most of the actual cooking on weeknights because he is home at dinner time. I do most of the dishes but mostly because Dh is so slow doing them, it drives me crazy so I do them rather than complain. He does the outdoor work but now that ds is a teen he does the mowing and shovelling. I do the big indoor jobs like windows, walls or baseboards. We each have a bathroom to clean. He keeps the rec room clean because it is his and ds's man cave now that dd is away at school. I deal with my craft room
We pretty much split 50/50 but more out of habit than detailed lists. His mom taught him well and it has been this way since we met, no training required.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,291
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Sept 20, 2017 1:20:04 GMT
I guess we are old fashioned and they are divided by traditional gender roles. I have no interest in doing the stuff he does and vice versa.
He does lawn care, house maintenance/repairs, cars, trash and shoveling/snow blowing. I do most things on the inside, including cleaning, laundry, cooking and grocery shopping. He does clean the bathroom and sometimes folds the towels and puts away his clothes. We both do bills. Once or twice a year we will do a bigger, more thorough cleaning and he and dd help.
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Post by Woobster on Sept 20, 2017 1:23:07 GMT
My DH is really good about helping with dishes, laundry, and cooking... and he does the majority of the yard work.
I do the rest.
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Post by walkerdill on Sept 20, 2017 1:23:43 GMT
We are a 2 family income however my SO pays all the actual bills. We keep our money separate & I pay for anything kid related.
With that said he does no chores. He works 14-16 hour days. He pays someone to do the yard work. My kids do chores & get an allowance. He pays for food on weekends & I pay for food during the week. I don't cook for SO since he gets home so late.
I do alot of the chores but have no problem with it since I can pretty much do what I want with my money.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Sept 20, 2017 1:27:26 GMT
It's not set in stone but in general chores are split like this...
Me: cooking, cleaning, laundry, daily cat care DH: all the car stuff, midweek errands, arranging apt repairs or updates with building staff. Both: dishes, garbage, food shopping, vet visits
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Post by burningfeather on Sept 20, 2017 1:27:30 GMT
We split things pretty much down gender roles too. He takes care of trash, cars, house maintenance, etc. I take care of most of the laundry, daily cleaning (but we have a housekeeper), most cooking, and bill paying. We usually grocery shop together as part of our weekly errands, but either one of us will pick up something if we need it and are out. We often will unload the dishwasher, make the bed, and hang up laundry together if he's at home. I've been trying to avoid the phrase "help me" because I was trying to make a point at one time, but the reality is that when I want him to help with something, there isn't a phrase that rolls off my tongue any better than that. And to be honest, DH definitely doesn't see himself as "helping ME" and is always very appreciative (sometimes too much) of everything I do to maintain the house. He tells me at least 3-4 times a week how much it is appreciated and that my role in the house is worth more than he could ever bring home in income, so the point of me trying to make some asinine point by not saying "will you help me" is rather silly.
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Post by padresfan619 on Sept 20, 2017 1:34:15 GMT
Husband : dishes, floors, kitchen, car stuff, minimal yard work, and most of the finances.
Me : cooking, laundry, bathrooms, vacuuming, grocery shopping, and random errands.
We both do the trash, Costco runs together, general organizing and making the bed.
My husband regularly works over time so I'm home for a few hours by myself without him, that's when I get a lot of stuff done around the house.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 20, 2017 1:42:56 GMT
We both have worked full time jobs our whole married lives, so it's pretty equal
Me-cooking mon-thurs. Friday is pizza/take out night, Sat we eat out. Sunday he does lunch, and I do sunday dinner which is usually some sort of roast or big pot of soup
I do laundry (dry,fold,put away), cleaning, grocery shopping, and just general upkeep inside the house.
DH-Sunday lunches, All the outside mowing, and snow stuff, dishes, furnace, wood for the woodstove.
When our kids were little we also split the childcare, which I greatly appreciated. I did baths, mon,wed, Friday, He did tues, thurs,sat,sunday. He put the girls to bed. I got the girls up and ready for school and took to school.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,883
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Sept 20, 2017 1:43:51 GMT
I only work part time and Dh travels for work quite a bit. I cook most meals. Dh usually cooks breakfast once a week. I do most laundry. Dh will help me fold if he see's me folding. We clean every Saturday morning. He cleans kitchen and living room, I clean everything else except kids rooms.. I also do shopping and pay bills. He does yard work.
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Post by #notLauren on Sept 20, 2017 1:44:57 GMT
We're pretty much along the gender-role lines.
I cook, he does dishes. I do the laundry; he folds He takes care of garbage and outside things. I do major grocery shoppings; he picks up odds and ends.
Thank God for our cleaning person who does all of the heavy cleaning.
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Post by utmr on Sept 20, 2017 1:46:20 GMT
When it bothers us, we take care of it. Home first and hungry cooks dinner. The one who notices the laundry does it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 19:36:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2017 1:48:47 GMT
We just all work together and get things done.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 20, 2017 2:00:57 GMT
My husband takes care of the vehicles, some outdoor (my sons do the mowing and raking and shoveling), invests, vacuums, shampoos the carpets, mops, cleans the bathroom showers, toilets, floors, grocery shops, does the dishes (with my boys) empties the dishwasher, and all cleaning of the lower level. That is the guy area.
I dust, clean the rest of the bathroom, do laundry (the adults-kids do their own), pay the bills, do all of the gardening, cook maybe four times a week, run most of the errands, take care of holiday gifts and wrapping, and lots of pop up chores.
We have done this for 30 years. I still have the piece of paper we wrote out before we got married. He was interested in having sex and I was interested in having a life too. We split a lot of the childcare- maybe 60-40. He did way more than most dads did and both of his boys adore him. He was the one one who generally stayed home if the kids were sick and took them to the doctor.
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Post by txdancermom on Sept 20, 2017 2:04:42 GMT
It is just dh and I, I do most of the chores, dh will do laundry but I have to sort it, he will help set table and pick up after meals. Dh will take out the recycling and trash (when he remembers)
If I get going on an unusual task he will come find out what I am up to, and I can usually trick him into helping.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,666
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 20, 2017 3:05:41 GMT
I basically do the things I like to do. Vacuum, cook, clean the bathroom (except for the toilet) and he does the other things if the kids don't. He gets things out of the washer because I can't reach, finishes them up, does all the dishes, ckeans the toiketand makes me breakfast. If there is something I don't like doing I say 'but that's a boy jooooob' and bat my eyes at him and he does it. The man will do just about anything if I imply that he will get laid so I let him
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Post by jlynnbarth on Sept 20, 2017 3:23:51 GMT
We are pretty traditional in our chore duties. I do most of the inside stuff and he does most of the outside/car stuff. Like today when we had a downpour of rain (yea! it's been 80 days since we've had a good soaking!) and the rain was coming over of the top of the gutters instead of going down the down spout, he got on the ladder in the pouring rain and cleaned out the whirly birds that were clogging it. I hate heights, so I am so glad he doesn't mind climbing the ladder! I cook and he clears the table. I do dishes. I do most of the laundry. He vacuums downstairs and I vacuum up. He cleans the downstairs bathroom that I never use and I clean both upstairs bathrooms. It works for us.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 20, 2017 3:34:59 GMT
He takes care of the lawn and landscaping, plowing the snow (except the short front walk and steps, I do that), some of the vehicle maintenance, he cooks dinner most nights. He takes care of the chickens (his idea to get them) and he brings his dog to the vet. He takes the trash cans down to the curb on trash day, I bring the trash out to the can from the wastebaskets. We kind of share the home maintenance depending on what it is and we grocery shop together.
I do almost all the inside the house stuff (laundry, dishes, bathrooms, kitchen, floors, dusting, windows, miscellaneous shopping, etc.), handle all the recycling, find all the lost things, take care of my dog and do most of the childcare tasks including dr. and dentist appointments, school conferences, play dates, etc. In all fairness, he works more than full time hours and I work part time from home, so it's just easier for me to do the stuff I take care of because I'm already there.
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Post by compwalla on Sept 20, 2017 3:36:35 GMT
The closest we have to a system is every two weeks me yelling at my family to pick up their stuff because the cleaner is coming. This is also our system. My husband does laundry. I usually cook.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 20, 2017 3:41:16 GMT
We don't officially divide chores. We just each do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I do end up cooking most nights because I work from home and am done well before he's home. But, if I cook, he does dishes (or one of the kids do).
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 20, 2017 3:45:14 GMT
I do dinner and some breakfast. I shop for lunches but I do not make lunches. I do my dad's and my laundry and DS does his own. The cleaning lady cleans every 2 weeks. My dad does garbage and recycle. We each have a floor to vacuum. We all maintain our own vehicles. Grocery shopping I don't know who does it. It is being left to me more and more now. It doesn't bother me, but having to decide on dinner every night does when my ideas are shot down (not in a mean way but if you already know what you want, save me the bother from deciding). I also don't mind shopping if I already know what wants to be eaten. I can get exactly what I want to eat that way. It works well for me as I might want pita chips or Renée's dressing or yellow beans and I can get them, too. I tried the menu approach and that did not work. No one wanted to discuss it nor do anything to help me make a menu. Thus we shop every single day the store is open.
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 20, 2017 3:46:11 GMT
DSO and I both work full time so we share the household duties evenly. And by "evenly", I mean that he does ALL of the outside work, and (if I'm completely honest) about 60% of the inside housework, and pays most of the bills. He's a gem.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 20, 2017 4:30:05 GMT
I do way more than dh, but he will do stuff when I ask. He doesn't typically notice what needs to be done until I point it out to him
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Sept 20, 2017 6:58:59 GMT
I work 4.5 days a week and have been battling illness all year. DH is self employed and does occasional work in a friends shop.
He does most of the shopping, 99% of the cooking, most of the washing up and laundry, takes care of the pets and runs the Hoover round. We both do laundry and we tend to do our own because he's scared he'll ruin something of mine.
At this point in time he is definitely doing more than me, partly because it's easier around his schedule and partly because he has the energy for it and I don't. When he is working more regular hours I try and pick up more of the slack. I've been so ill this year, I'm really lucky he takes such good care of me.
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Gillyflower
Full Member
Posts: 129
Location: QLD, Australia
Jul 16, 2014 12:06:56 GMT
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Post by Gillyflower on Sept 20, 2017 8:12:10 GMT
No kids here so I'm sure that makes a difference.
My husband does the laundry and brings it in, I fold, put away and iron. He cooks and does the shopping and I clean up or help clean up. He puts clean sheets on the bed and makes it each morning because he's the last one out. If he got out of bed when the alarm went off, I'd do that. I clean the bathroom, toilet, and our other rooms, plus do the extras like curtains and windows or whatever needs doing. I do the floors. He runs errands for me and does a lot of random things. We help each other out when required. We both work full time and he is doing a uni degree so he's out for two nights a week and studies on the weekend. I'll often do the laundry if he's got exams on.
Gilly.
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stittsygirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Location: In the leaves and rain.
Jun 25, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
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Post by stittsygirl on Sept 20, 2017 10:15:49 GMT
Easy. DH keeps his 5'x10' room in Afghanistan clean and tidy, and I do every damn thing else here in WA (with help from the four kids) . I work seven days on, seven off, so I have a full week every-other week to get things done, including yard work. On the weeks I work (10-hour night shifts) just the basic chores by the kids get done, and I pay my oldest son to do the family laundry. I'll make dinner every-other night before I leave for work, otherwise the kids are on their own for food. When DH is home, we also fall into more traditional roles, though he tends to do more laundry. He likes doing it, I don't.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 20, 2017 10:33:17 GMT
The closest we have to a system is every two weeks me yelling at my family to pick up their stuff because the cleaner is coming. This is also our system. My husband does laundry. I usually cook. Ours too, except he cooks and I do laundry. And our cleaner comes once a week, because otherwise we drown here.
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