If your child suffers from anxiety... Updated

I think talking with her pediatrician or GP is a good place to start. We did, and she prescribed a low dose of an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication for my daughter this year (she's 16). We probably should have asked about it sooner. DD has been feeling much better - it took a couple of months for the meds to really do their work, but she does notice a difference now.

If you are asking the question, it's time.

I agree. What's the worst that can happen? Someone says: "she's a normal 13 year old girl with normal 13 year old issues." If you're concerned about how she'll understand this, just say: "I just want to make sure you have the coping mechanisms that you need to deal with anxiety and stress." Kids now are under so much more than we ever were. Social media, increased pressure to get into good colleges, 24 hour news cycle with nothing but bad news etc.....  it's a different world than we grew up in. 

Dds anxiety started at about age 3 and when she was 6.5 yrs we finally had to go seek help. She has generalized childhood onset anxiety along with Aspergers, ocd, spd.

For her it got so bad that even therapy wasnt helping. (Floortime, pcit, play therapy) so we added in risperidone and then tenex.

She came off both a year ago and has been doing well. Still has anxiety BUT all the years of therapy (6 total) she has a good handle on it.

Also, when my daughter is starting her cycle (a few days before it starts) and when she is sick, her anxiety is worse.

Yes, me too! I removed gluten for digestive issues and had no idea the effect it would have on my anxiety and depression. I feel like a new person.

I'll validate you. I have had anxiety and stomach issues my whole life and, after a bout with gastritis this summer, I feel fantastic off refined sugars and gluten and dairy. I've never felt this good. 

Does SHE see it as something she needs/wants help for? Yes, I realize she is only 13 but I think that if she's seeing it as something she needs help managing, it might get more "buy in" from her. I know that at 13, had my parents offered me something to deal with my constant anxiety, I would have jumped at the chance and done everything I could to get it figured out. I spent YEARS with a "nervous stomach" having anxiety from the time I was really small (I distinctly remember in kindergarten shaking and throwing up) until I finally was able to figure out what the hell it was when I was in my early 20's. It's been such a different world for me since I was able to take xanax to take the edge off when I could feel anxiety creeping in.

My second twin; youngest son has high anxiety. 

We've been working with him on dealing with it for over 2 years now.

I knew something was wrong before dh ever noticed.

He would get really angry and run to the bathroom. At the time, we were working with his older twin as he was having a tough time with bullying so I just thought he was looking for attention. And he was. But I didn't realize it was an issue until he started 6th grade.

In 6th grade he would get mysteriously sick whenever he had to go to a class where he had a lot of reading/writing to do or when he had a big test in a class. 

I started making the connection by mid-year. He would be sent to the nurse, who would then contact me, and I'd have to take him home. Once we were home, he was fine. 

We had a whole series of tests done by a psychologist as I was wondering if there was a learning disability--he would work so hard but his grades didn't reflect that. 

We found out he's dyslexic and has mild ADD along with HIGH anxiety. 

We have him in therapy and on meds. He really needs the meds. Without them, he's a mess. 

If you're concerned, it doesn't hurt to talk to her ped and see what they say. Seeing a therapist isn't a bad thing, even just to get a handle on the "normal" middle school stuff. It can be hard being a middle schooler (says the middle school teacher of 24 years!). If she gets some strategies under her belt for dealing with stress and anxiety isn't a bad thing. 

    This and I hate to say it but it's probably beyond time, so don't waste anymore time thinking about it and make an appointment first thing Tuesday morning. My DS grew up with anxiety and ADHD. It was the same thing with us. By the time we got it figured out we wished we'd gotten him help sooner. He'd have stomach aches before school and I hated that he'd suffered with anxiety because I didn't realize what he was going through. He was diagnosed in grade school, is 28 now and still takes anti-anxiety meds. They work wonderfully for him.

Think about it-two things will happen out of this-either she'll be diagnosed with anxiety or she won't.  Either way you as her mom are doing the best thing you can for her. And please don't even think about beating yourself up for a minute about not doing this any sooner. We as moms do the very best we can. You came here and asked the question so I know you are a great mom. I wish the very best for your daughter!

Thank you dulcemama and gmcwife1. I came back here worried I'd upset dulcemama by mentioned it might be past the time to get help but I wanted to emphasize how important it was not to wait another second before making the appointment. When I saw there were 2 quotes to my thread I thought, "Uh oh, people are upset by what I said", but it was in fact the opposite. I'm so glad the words were taken in the spirit I had written them. 

You're updated news dulcemama with the appointment with your daughter's primary and counseling center are wonderful!

DD30 experienced anxiety and depression that increased each year.  It got really bad at age 13 and we finally had to homeschool her and find a psychiatrist.  Beginning in preschool she had separation anxiety (actually, she even had it as an infant!).  She went to a University preschool and we agreed to volunteer her for a 3 day I.Q. test in their psych dept.  She was extremely intelligent, and was a perfectionist.  She had odd fears (the wind, the sun, dogs...) and then it got to the point where she was fearful of going outside her house.  She spoke to social workers and psychologists in grade school and then we began to look for professionals.  It took a few to find the right one who finally diagnosed her as bipolar 2.

We didn't want to think of our little genius as needing meds and being crippled by cycles of ups and downs, but that's her life.  She's on 3 different meds (anti-anxiety, anti-depression, anti-psychotic) and the combination works for her.  She finished out high school IN school and went to college.  She still has ups and downs but NOTHING like when she was a teen.

I hope that you find the right therapist or psychiatrist or professional to help you put your DD on the right path.  Sometimes it's as simple as an Rx.  Good luck!