Women have some responsibility for preventing sexual harassm

I'm going to agree with her and the point that women have responsibility. But, hear me out. Women do have the power to stop this. Instead of accepting it or teaching our daughters it is flattering, we say no. Women say no. Mom's teach their sons and daughters that it isn't right. Women stand up for other women. Women stand up in the work force to raise holy hell when this crap happens. Women support other women when something comes to light. As noted above the patriarchy always has it's female enablers - women - women call other women out. Women OWN this issue not 1 woman, but WOMEN. We tell our husbands, sons, fathers, and brothers that their behavior is not acceptable. We don't accept this behavior as "boys being boys." We say, no. We teach no. We shouldn't be afraid to do that because of stupid judgement or social expectations. Stop raising our daughters to be compliant to males simply because they are males. Pay attention to those messages that teach little girls they are nothing but pretty faces and vaginas.

We as women are so afraid to be seen as powerful, bossy or any of those words that mean great things for boys and bad things for girls. The horror of being a feminist - that means we aren't feminine right??? BS. We as WOMEN stop that. Women need to STOP perpetuating this violence by allowing women to be seen as cattle when it comes to looks and sex. Women call out Hollywood and media for their sexual depiction of children. Women say it isn't right. Women stop being catty about peoples looks. I heard a saying that women dress for other women and that is so true. Tell me last time you walked into a wedding and a GUY actually thought, oh, what a lovely dress.

In the 2012 election 51% of all voters were women. We have a voice, we just need to use it. It isn't going to change overnight. We have to be diligent. But we as women absolutely have a responsibility in changing our society to KNOW that this behavior is NOT okay. Please be clear I am NOT into victim blaming - but I sure as hell am talking about changing the woman who believes that victim shaming is acceptable. Call them out. Loudly. You as a woman have that responsibility.

**steps gingerly of my lady like soap box**

And dare it be said. #metoo. ME FUCKING TOO.

We have the responsibility to stop it - but not the responsibility for the unwanted abuse. We are not responsible for those who think it is an open invitation because they are turned on by what they see, hear, smell or think.

Being approached by someone you trust or a complete stranger is no different - wrong is wrong.

From a physician at age 11, an ex who didn't understand the word NO, a trusted co-worker in my early 20's who told me he knew I wanted it.

Yes, exactly. We need to step up to have a voice in this. Not be afraid to step up, to watch our victim blaming, to watch what we teach our children's - especially a daughter. But like I said, please do not pretend I disagree with you. I do not accept the choices as one person as my responsibility and victims of violence shouldn't either. Go bigger - own that this is OUR problem and let's speak out until there is NO QUESTION that this behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and if it happens to you it is NOT YOUR FAULT, that you are a victim of a CRIME and criminals SHOULD go to jail for a long time (I'm looking at you Brock.) 

I'm sorry that happened to you. I was 4 and I was 6. When I finally came out with it, it was clear that my vagina was the problem. I had one. The problem was I had a vagina. And I was crying. So what else would you do with a crying vagina but abuse it.  Pretty big lesson to learn. What if someone in my life would have said, "no"? What if someone in his life would have said, "no"? What if someone in my 4 year old life would have said, "I believe you"? What if... what if we stand up and say it now? I'm still a crying vagina but I guarantee you I know better. I guarantee my daughters know better. 

I'm a fat, 52 year old middle aged woman. Trust me, I was not dressed provocatively or behaving in a manner that would invite catcalls when some asshole yelled "sit on my face" to me from a car in Boston last year. In fact, I had to look around to see who they were calling to. And I wasn't flattered either.

Of course not...but it can influence whether or not it happens. 

For instance - Is it alright to walk down a bad part of town dripping in gold necklaces and waving around stacks of cash and expect to be left perfectly alone by criminals who would look at you and see you as a naive easy mark?

There's a time and place for just about everything and of course, rape is caused by only one thing --->rapists, but at the same time if you are in an unsecured area (and that could be defined as any area where you isolated or are not known and you don't know any/many people) then you really don't know if there are rapists around who will completely disregard your personal rights as a human and violate you...much like a thief that does the same to someone who indiscriminately flaunts wealth.  In such a case precautions really should be taken to protect oneself and that is the responsibility of the person walking into that situation. 

When I was in highschool I had a big chest. It wouldn't have mattered what I had on. It could've been a turtleneck and the jerks at school still said something.

I was floored when fat lil ole me had some asshole leaned out of a car window yesterday yelling disgusting crap. I was wearing jeans ( not tight ) a collared polo buttoned up with my hair pulled back in a knot and I know I had resting bitch face going on. Actually I’m pretty sure I had actively grouchy bitch face going on. There wasn’t anything about me yesterday that was ‘asking for it’ I could not even have been called attractive. I make pretty sure I am no where close to attractive when I go to work.Neat, yes. Professional, yes. Attractive, doubt it. First, it wouldn’t be practical. Second, I go to a lot of sketchy places I want people to leave me be. And all the sketchy places I go to and spend a lot of my work time in and yet no one has been that rude. Imagine my surprise when this asshole starts up in Snooty Million dollar McMansion suburb of NJ. Blew my mind.

I literally yelled WTF is wrong with you. Not kidding. At work. On a public street. I was like so flabbergast. No I was not flattered.

So no, it has NOTHING to do with what your wearing. It has to do with something being very wrong with the person who does it.

And yes. Me too. 8th grade. Star quarterback grabbed my crotch on the stairs at school. Him & his friends laughed about it and all lied when I told the principal. And I was wearing a freaking turtle neck under a jumper dress that came past my knees and boots that came up to my knees. No ‘skin’ showing.

To some men, as long as a woman breathes, she is asking for it.

No, you can't protect yourself fully...that does not mean you shouldn't try.  That does not mean you should dance butt naked in the middle of the night down Main Street even though you should be able to, it would be a truly stupid thing to do.  And that is the point. 

I should be able to leave my laptop and purse at my table in a restaurant while I head to the bathroom.  Just because you should be able to do something doesn't mean it is advisable.

No, you refuse to recognize the world for what it is. MzIndependent is making the statement that no matter how you believe the world should behave, in the end, if you don't act in accordance with how things actually are, you are far more likely to become a victim.

If you leave your laptop and your purse on a table in a coffee shop, of course no one should steal it.  But there's a very good chance they will get stolen and at that point, you are a victim in part because of your own stupidity.

NO.  You are teaching women and girls to stand up for themselves.  No can work and it's irresponsible to not teach people ways to protect themselves.  Is taking a self-defense class assuming responsibility?  How about carrying pepper spray?  Trying to help women push back against the abusers by standing firm is not telling women it's their fault.  

The abuse that happened to me wasn't my fault, but when I got the guts to say no, it stopped.  Not everyone is so lucky, but for heaven's sake, we should teach our daughters to do the bare minimum to fight back and that fighting back is not accepting blame. 

I taught my girls that.  I feel if they are taught to respect others (both genders!) they would expect others to treat them with respect as well.  I wish all parents taught their sons/daughters about respecting others and not to exert power in a way to make others feel threatened or uncomfortable.  (I hope that makes sense!)

There is NO excuse for sexual harassment or rape.

However, as women, as mothers, as teachers, we can and should clearly teach young men that women are not sexual objects. We also need to be willing to speak out against pornography, because it paints a very unrealistic picture and portrays women as sex objects. Many rapists view porn and then go act out their fantasies on whatever poor girl is handy.

I raised my 4 sons to respect women. My oldest two sons are both married to girls who have always dressed modestly. DS #4 is planning to propose in early February to a girl who dresses modestly. DS #3 dates girls who dress modestly and is hoping to find someone who will be a good match. When he marries, he is going to marry a girl who dresses modestly.

I raised my daughter to dress modestly out of respect for herself. Dressing provacatively is NOT an invitation to be groped or worse, but some guys will assume it is. Also, dressing modestly DOES increase a girl's chances of attracting the kind of guys who notice her for more than just her body. It's not a guarantee, unfortunately, so another thing we should be sure to teach our daughters is how to defend themselves from sexual predators. A cop taught our women's group some simple and effective defense techniques. He also taught us to fight as if our lives depended on it, because these days, it often does.