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Post by **Angie** on Oct 21, 2017 3:32:17 GMT
I found out that one of ds' friends has been bullied so badly since school started that he tried to commit suicide tonight. I've been told it is pretty bad and that the police are involved. He's hospitalized and they don't know how long he'll be in there. He isn't awake yet. There's a rumor that he was one name on a list.
I feel so bad that I didn't notice anything was wrong. He just seemed quiet and more homebound than usual but I figured it was the change from middle to high school - more homework/different times/harder classes...
Ds was bullied in 2nd grade and the same school system didn't do anything to help, so we pulled ds to homeschool. I'm so glad that he decided to homeschool through high school. He, luckily, developed a very healthy confidence level after 2nd grade and doesn't stand for bullying. I think he's upset that he didn't notice either.
I just don't understand the things that go through a bully's head. I've read all the articles, I talked to the counselor in 2nd grade, I've heard all the reasons/explanations/ideas/theories, but I just don't understand.
Please keep David in your thoughts tonight.....
UPDATE: Good news - He's awake. The doctors think he'll make a full recovery. Without going into detail because the police are involved, he had coded by the time they got him to the hospital and had to be resuscitated. Just thinking of everything that happened makes me sick. Hours after talking to his mom about the last 3 days...I can feel myself shaking with rage.
BUT now that more of us are aware, we can help take care of him. I have quite a few friends in common that live near them, and they have set up a system to help take care of the house and pets as long as needed. My kid has offered to help him keep up with schoolwork through skype as long as David needs. <3
Oh, and I almost forgot... Thank you to everyone for your comments, your thoughts, and your support. My heart goes out to all of you affected by bullying.
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Post by elaine on Oct 21, 2017 3:42:18 GMT
I hope that David pulls through and finds a supportive mentoring network with which to surround himself.
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Oct 21, 2017 3:44:17 GMT
Heartbreaking! Prayers for David to fully recover and to get the help that he needs to be able to put this painful episode behind him.
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GiantsFan
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Oct 21, 2017 3:46:25 GMT
I don't understand bullying either. I'll be thinking about David.
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Post by mom on Oct 21, 2017 4:06:14 GMT
Im sorry your friend is not in a good place right now. I hope he recovers and can get support . Please don't blame yourself. You cannot know everything that is going on with. Had you known I am sure you would have reached out to him.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
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Location: Third Rock from the sun.
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Post by anniebygaslight on Oct 21, 2017 4:09:53 GMT
So sorry to read about this.
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 21, 2017 5:13:35 GMT
Bullies need to bully to make themselves feel bigger and better. They are really such sad people inside. The only way they get validation is to pick on others to try and make them look small.
Will pray for David. Please don't blame yourself for not noticing. Kid tend to hide their feelings when bullied as they feel it is their fault. Which is why it is so insidious.
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azredhead
Drama Llama
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Post by azredhead on Oct 21, 2017 5:28:40 GMT
SO sorry i don't understand it either. My brothers were bullied. They both have grown up great parents and great families. I hope he can get a good support system to help him. Don't blame youf self.Just let him know if you can later that your home can be a ssafe place too. I guess that kinda conversation would be how well you know the boy and family.I hope he gets some good help! My heart goes out to him!
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Oct 21, 2017 20:37:32 GMT
He will be in my thoughts! It’s so sad.
My son was dealing with a situation this week and I teach at his school. I haven’t felt that sick to my stomach since my dad passed away years ago. They were friends that got angry and turned on him. Small things built up and trickled to school. I’m thankful admin handled it.
I’ve seen how easy it ease for bullies to get away with it and the personalities that can pull it off. I’ve seen how it can go unnoticed by adults at school because kids are smart. I’ve seen how difficult it is for a child to stand up to it and I’ve seen how kids can join in on something to protect themselves. And what is most disappointing is to see how a victim can be made to feel bad or be blamed. Bullies can come from many backgrounds.
We learned a lot this week. I just pray that my son won’t shut me out when he is older and silently suffer.
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azredhead
Drama Llama
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Post by azredhead on Oct 21, 2017 22:56:09 GMT
iteach3rdgrade oh man I'm sorry that's rough! I am glad they took it seriously too. **@Angie** I hope things are a little better all around this week.
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 21, 2017 23:44:16 GMT
**Angie** I am so very sorry to hear about David. I will definitely keep him in my prayers. iteach3rdgrade, I am also sorry that your son has also been dealing with this at school. I will also keep him in my prayers. It's heartbreaking to know how mean and vicious bullies can be. My DS was bullied in 3rd grade and it really affected his self-esteem.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 21, 2017 23:45:23 GMT
I agree with intolerance to bullying, but sometimes it is hard to catch or prove that it happened. It is especially bad in school. Kids will lie for each other and you can't get enough people to stand up for the bullied person. Then there are the cases where the one being bullied has done things to encourage others to pick on him/her. As parent, you see the effects on your kid and have a hard time imaging that your kid did anything wrong or if your kid did the bullying you chalk it up to not all kids get along and the other did something to start it all. You need a crystal ball to get it right. I wish all parents taught their kids how to be kind even when you don't understand or like another person. When kids are in school, you can teach Bullyproofing, but some kids have bullying down to a silent science (or even just being mean now and then) that it takes an act of God to get them to stop.
ETA: Last year there were three suicides in our district (all different schools). It is scary that kids see that as a viable way to release the pain.
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Post by genny on Oct 22, 2017 0:01:32 GMT
David will absolutely be in my thoughts and prayers. This is just so damn sad. I'm sorry you all are touched by this. The thing is that so often we just don't know - the kid affected is often scared to ask for help or to tell, so the people around them don't have any idea what's happening.
It is bad in our district - our 'zero tolerance' policy is BS becuase administration all the way up to the district level rarely does anything. DD went through this in middle school and it has followed her all this time, shaping her thoughts about herself. Her confidence is so fragile still. It's terrible what kids say and do to each other. I never thought I'd be glad for my baby to graduate, but there it is. We are so relieved and glad that she is out of the drama of school and the pettiness of so many.
A high school sophomore in our district hung herself in the school bathroom this past week because of bullying. With her belt. She'd asked for help and received nothing but a 'toughen up, kids will be kids' speech from the teacher she went to. Thank God someone came in and found her, got her down and called for help. She is alive and in the hospital and expected to recover physically. I pray that her family is able to get her the help that she needs.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Oct 22, 2017 1:09:27 GMT
**Angie** I am so very sorry to hear about David. I will definitely keep him in my prayers. iteach3rdgrade , I am also sorry that your son has also been dealing with this at school. I will also keep him in my prayers. It's heartbreaking to know how mean and vicious bullies can be. My DS was bullied in 3rd grade and it really affected his self-esteem. Thank you. I'm sorry your son dealt with it in 3rd grade. Bullies seldom give adults proof. That's the problem. Each incident seemed fairly innocent, or boys will be boys, but when the incidents add up it is not innocent. The term bully gets tossed around a lot at school and parents and kid use it often, and sometimes that isn't helpful for adults trying to resolve it. It's frustrating! |
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Oct 22, 2017 1:11:32 GMT
I agree with intolerance to bullying, but sometimes it is hard to catch or prove that it happened. It is especially bad in school. Kids will lie for each other and you can't get enough people to stand up for the bullied person. Then there are the cases where the one being bullied has done things to encourage others to pick on him/her. As parent, you see the effects on your kid and have a hard time imaging that your kid did anything wrong or if your kid did the bullying you chalk it up to not all kids get along and the other did something to start it all. You need a crystal ball to get it right. I wish all parents taught their kids how to be kind even when you don't understand or like another person. When kids are in school, you can teach Bullyproofing, but some kids have bullying down to a silent silence (or even just being mean now and then) that it takes an act of God to get them to stop. ETA: Last year there were three suicides in our district (all different schools). It is scary that kids see that as a viable way to release the pain. Exactly! |
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Oct 22, 2017 1:13:20 GMT
iteach3rdgrade oh man I'm sorry that's rough! I am glad they took it seriously too. **@Angie** I hope things are a little better all around this week. Thanks! I'm glad they did! |
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 22, 2017 4:52:08 GMT
**Angie** I am happy to hear the positive update and I am happy the family and David are going to receive support from the community and your son!
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
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Post by anniebygaslight on Oct 22, 2017 8:33:59 GMT
Great update. I hope the little shits responsible will be named, shamed and punished.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Peamac on Oct 22, 2017 12:38:31 GMT
Thanks so much for the update! So glad he's doing better!
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Post by gailoh on Oct 22, 2017 12:44:59 GMT
So pray for him to grow stronger in mind and body...think the parents need to have a good sit down with that school as well...maybe others are also getting this kind of treatment and they are not doing much to help...no child should have to go through this kind of treatment...no excuses from that school or the kids doing the bullying either...he could have lost his life...
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Post by Really Red on Oct 22, 2017 12:48:08 GMT
I love that you are so involved. What a great thing for this boy to realize how many people care about him. That's the power that will take away the bully's actions. I hope that bully (bullies?) goes to jail!
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Post by **Angie** on Oct 22, 2017 17:07:36 GMT
Great update. I hope the little shits responsible will be named, shamed and punished. From what I've been told, they have been expelled from all county high schools (a huge county with 25+ high school), and criminal charges are pending. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 22, 2017 17:20:55 GMT
I don't know how I missed this thread until now. Driving anyone to suicide by bullying just makes me insanely crazy with anger. WTH is wrong with people who raise children who bully? They learn that stuff at home. I'm happy to see your update. I also hope the kid gets some counseling to deal with it. No one that young should be in enough pain to drive them to attempt suicide. I hope the appropriate punishment will be doled out to the bullies and their parents.
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Post by maryland on Oct 22, 2017 18:52:30 GMT
That's such a relief that he is doing better! And how wonderful that you moms are helping with the house and pets. Where we live it's still summer like, so the girls and I are still mowing at least once a week. I bet the help will make it much easier for them to help their son.
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Post by anniefb on Oct 22, 2017 20:58:06 GMT
So good to hear he's awake. Horrible to hear about all the bully and other issues young people are having to deal with.
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kate
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Post by kate on Oct 22, 2017 23:49:07 GMT
So glad to hear he's awake!
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