zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884 
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Post by zella on Nov 8, 2017 23:32:49 GMT
Two years ago right now, my sister was having her last moments of consciousness. Two years ago today I gave Rebecca my last gift, the gift of letting her go. At two minutes after midnight on the 9th she breathed her last breath and I put my head on her chest and heard the last few beats of her heart.
Just wanted to say this here because so many Peas were a part of her journey. I still have every card sent to Rebecca from you guys.
I miss her so much. I am struggling with severe depression and it sucks that I can't talk to her (well, I can, but it's an awfully lopsided conversation). I think there will always be a part of me that says, "It should have been me."
I will always miss my baby sister.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 8, 2017 23:34:39 GMT
I'm sorry.
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Post by peasapie on Nov 8, 2017 23:40:36 GMT
I remember when she left this world. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
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Post by gar on Nov 8, 2017 23:41:22 GMT
I'm sorry for your pain Zella
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Nov 8, 2017 23:46:40 GMT
Two years must feel like a lifetime. I'm sorry, Zella. ❤
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Post by scrappintoee on Nov 8, 2017 23:49:45 GMT
Many, many ((( hugs ))) to you, Zella!!!  I remember that time very well, and it's hard to believe it's been 2 years already! |
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Nov 8, 2017 23:59:09 GMT
I think there will always be a part of me that says, "It should have been me." I wanted you to know that I get this. 5+ years out and I still have a small piece that says the same. I do get it. Im glad you are here with us. Im so sorry you lost your sister  Lots of hugs and be kind to yourself the next few days. Drink your water. Its okay to feel whatever it is you need to feel: happy, sad, angry, lonely, giggle at a memory, (or all at the same time) |
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Post by shescrafty on Nov 9, 2017 0:04:09 GMT
I am so sorry. Two years ago today is when Phoebe had her long lasting seizures and brain damage that she never recovered from. It is her best friend’s birthday but instead of coming to visit Phoebe and share cake Phoebe was hooked up on a ventilator and it was the real beginning of the end of her life. I never saw her smile or laugh after that. Although she didn’t die on this day, it was the day we lost our girl.
I am sorry we both have to relive the sadness of this day.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Nov 9, 2017 0:04:30 GMT
I'm so sorry, Zella. 😢
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Post by freeatlast on Nov 9, 2017 0:22:46 GMT
I remember, zella, and I'm so sorry. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Nov 9, 2017 0:26:48 GMT
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 9, 2017 0:28:03 GMT
I'm sorry for your pain Zella. It really doesn't seem like it was 2 years ago.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,152
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Nov 9, 2017 0:31:03 GMT
I'm sorry for your losses, Zella and Shescrafty. ((HUGS)) to you both.
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Post by malibou on Nov 9, 2017 0:42:55 GMT
I'm so very sorry Zella. May you find peace in the little things.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,234
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
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Post by Sue on Nov 9, 2017 0:50:05 GMT
I'm so sorry, zella and shescrafty. I hope you both can find comfort in the beautiful memories and happiness they brought into your lives. |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,738
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Post by purplebee on Nov 9, 2017 0:52:31 GMT
Prayers for comfort and hugs to you both.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Nov 9, 2017 0:52:59 GMT
Zella, I am so sorry. The grief from losing a beloved sibling like a sister never really goes away. I am sure you miss the fun stuff and the love, but not the suffering. I am sending you strength to get through today and hope you feel the warmth and love through this. I does get better, and the love stays inside your heart forever.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,648
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Post by valincal on Nov 9, 2017 1:02:07 GMT
So sorry for your loss...I can't imagine losing my sister. Big hugs.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 9, 2017 1:24:42 GMT
I'm sooo sorry zella and shescrafty. Loss changes our lives forever. ((HUGS)) to you both.
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Post by flanz on Nov 9, 2017 1:39:36 GMT
Sending you love and hugs, Zella
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
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Post by used2scrap on Nov 9, 2017 1:40:20 GMT
I'm sorry. Thank you for sharing your memories.
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Post by farmdpea on Nov 9, 2017 1:42:18 GMT
Hugs to both of you ladies today. I'm so sorry.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 9, 2017 2:13:00 GMT
(((Hugs)))
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Post by ntsf on Nov 9, 2017 2:18:42 GMT
hugs and lots of love.. she lives on in your memories.. but it is tough. take care of yourself and know we are all thinking of you...
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Post by *sprout* on Nov 9, 2017 2:19:44 GMT
(((hugs))) Zella and shescrafty
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Post by jenjie on Nov 9, 2017 4:56:59 GMT
zella and shescrafty, I’m so sorry. I know the hurt of this day. Rebecca and Phoebe are not forgotten. They will not be forgotten. Gentle hugs to you both.
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Post by alexa11 on Nov 9, 2017 5:02:46 GMT
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Nov 9, 2017 6:03:48 GMT
I think there will always be a part of me that says, "It should have been me." I wanted you to know that I get this. 5+ years out and I still have a small piece that says the same. I do get it. Im glad you are here with us. Im so sorry you lost your sister Lots of hugs and be kind to yourself the next few days. Drink your water. Its okay to feel whatever it is you need to feel: happy, sad, angry, lonely, giggle at a memory, (or all at the same time) Thank you for your words. It seems awful that I spend so much of my life thinking about dying and my sister never did, not until the last day when she was in so much pain and realized the end was near. Life isn't fair, and death isn't either. I'm sorry for your loss and pain, spidey. Hubby is always on me to drink more water, lol! Most days he comes home and one of the first things he says to me is, "How much have you had to drink today?" Trying something new today, drinking my water closer to room temperature as it's possible the very icy water I actually like to drink might be a trigger for my episodes. It's probably not, but it's easy enough to try. But yes, I'm drinking my water.  |
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Nov 9, 2017 6:11:21 GMT
I am so sorry. Two years ago today is when Phoebe had her long lasting seizures and brain damage that she never recovered from. It is her best friend’s birthday but instead of coming to visit Phoebe and share cake Phoebe was hooked up on a ventilator and it was the real beginning of the end of her life. I never saw her smile or laugh after that. Although she didn’t die on this day, it was the day we lost our girl. I am sorry we both have to relive the sadness of this day. Oh, I am so so sorry! I didn't realize that Phoebe's death was so close in time to Rebecca's. I read all of your posts throughout that time. My heart ached for you and your family and for Phoebe. It still does. I can't find the words. Losing a child is, I believe, the absolute worst and I'm so sad for you, for all the days that won't happen and for all the tough, painful days when Phoebe was in the hospital. How can it be two years already? |
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Nov 9, 2017 6:13:38 GMT
Thank you everyone; every kind word really does help. Thank you a million times over.
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I remember that time very well, and it's hard to believe it's been 2 years already! 
Lots of hugs and be kind to yourself the next few days. Drink your water. Its okay to feel whatever it is you need to feel: happy, sad, angry, lonely, giggle at a memory, (or all at the same time) 
