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Post by workingclassdog on Dec 17, 2017 4:20:42 GMT
Shoot.... I ran downstairs to get a drink.. they are playing and I am upstairs wrapping gifts. I brought some gifts down to put under the tree I wrapped and she (innocently) says 'who believes in Santa anymore?" And I froze, my dd kinda looked at me but didn't say anything, and her friend didn't say much after that. I was trying to figure out something to say and blubbered of course I believe in Santa... and my dd said well yeah, we wouldn't put up a tree if we didn't.. but I could tell that wasn't really flying. Sooooo shoot. Not sure to just let it go or tomorrow kinda ask her about it...I don't know if she still does.. everything in her actions seems to me she still does... she is very into seeing what the Elf is doing every night.. so jeez... I just was put on the spot and didn't know what to say, dang it. YEARS ago my son (who is 22 now) saw my Easter stash in my car... but I didn't know. On Easter, but later in the day, he stopped me and said he had to tell me something and he looked really sad. He goes "mom, I know there isn't an Easter Bunny" and I said oh really? Why do you think that? He said "I saw all the stuff in your car"... my heart just melted but then he goes "Well at least there is a Santa Claus...." I thought I would cry.. his little sad face.... I was like 'there sure is buddy' But in the end he was okay because he felt like now he was in on the secret and could help me with the Easter baskets for the following year.  |
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Post by mom on Dec 17, 2017 4:24:20 GMT
UGH.I am so glad that my boys are past that stage. Its hard knowing what the right thing to do it! If it were me,I would not say anything until she comes to you.Then I would talk to her about the 'magic' of Christmas.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 19:29:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2017 4:41:02 GMT
I’m sorry. But honestly my kids only made it to first grade then they knew. School kids with older siblings spilled the beans.
My kids only really believed till they were 6 or so.
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Post by mlynn on Dec 17, 2017 5:12:00 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I was in my 40's when my mom passed away. I do not think I ever told her I do not believe.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 17, 2017 5:37:21 GMT
Give in to the magic and pretend along with her. Cause by now that is what she is doing -- pretending. Continue the pretense as long as possible. Its OK if both of you know that Santa is a feeling and not a person, just don't talk about it. I still tell my adult girls that there is a Santa if they truly believe. Santa is real in my heart. The Spirit of Christmas is a very real thing - the giving, the joy, all of it. Santa is just a part of it
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 17, 2017 5:59:28 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I'm the mom of kids with low and high functioning Autism. Why tell them? Because it's one more thing for kids to tease them about; believing in Santa. I didn't even bother doing Santa with my youngest. He is not a fan of Christmas. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Dec 17, 2017 6:24:17 GMT
I’m sorry. But honestly my kids only made it to first grade then they knew. School kids with older siblings spilled the beans. My kids only really believed till they were 6 or so. She has two older siblings.. it's never been a problem. Anyways, I won't 'talk talk' to her, but just bring it up casually and see if she bites on it or not... I don't want her to get teased at school either. Already dealing with self esteem issues with her.. nothing bad but don't want to add to it either. After 2 other kids, it still doesn't get any easier. |
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Post by malibou on Dec 17, 2017 6:33:55 GMT
My son believed for a ridiculously long time. Every year the kid would come home with a similar story, "someone at school said there is no Santa. I feel so badly for him. Good thing that Santa doesn't worry about that stuff and he will get a present anyway."
When he did figure it out, he was fine about it.
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Post by elaine on Dec 17, 2017 6:36:03 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I'm the mom of kids with low and high functioning Autism. Why tell them? Because it's one more thing for kids to tease them about; believing in Santa. I didn't even bother doing Santa with my youngest. He is not a fan of Christmas. (((Hugs))) I get it. |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 17, 2017 13:46:55 GMT
When my kids came to me about Santa, I explained he is real, but it's all of us who are Santa. I took them toy shopping for Toys for Tots.
A funny story, it was my younger child that told older brother "Get real. It's mom and dad!"
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Post by Belia on Dec 17, 2017 13:54:30 GMT
I have a 9 YO who is still ALL IN for Santa.
I dread the day we have this conversation.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,885
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 17, 2017 13:55:07 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I'm the mom of kids with low and high functioning Autism. Why tell them? Because it's one more thing for kids to tease them about; believing in Santa. I didn't even bother doing Santa with my youngest. He is not a fan of Christmas. I'm a mom of 2 sons on the spectrum. My 15 year old still says he believes. Every year I would try to tell him, but he wouldn't believe me. It wasn't until this year that I figured out what he meant. He believes in the ability for anyone to be a Santa, to buy presents and do good deeds. So to this day if you ask, he says he believes. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 17, 2017 14:07:47 GMT
Personally I wouldn’t say anything to her. She’s probably on the cusp and I bet she comes to you in the next day or so after having mulled it over a bit. She’ll either have found a way to discount what her friend said (for my ods it was that there was no way mom and dad would buy him all that stuff) or she’ll come to you with her doubts. Your best bet is to just listen and then basically agree with whatever her heart is telling her.
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Post by hop2 on Dec 17, 2017 15:12:42 GMT
Well since it was our intention for our kids to choose their own relationship with god we did both my holiday & H’s holidays ( Christmas & Chanukah ) we did the Santa clause thing but we also did the angel tree from a super young age. It was at the mall so it made sense to them that we would leave the gifts with the people at the mall to give to Santa after the pictures & all so Santa would have them for poor kids. But they were also very young when the realized that ‘everyone’ Was Santa. The moment they understood money, jobs & getting paid they understood ‘Santa’ simply because they were buying gifts all those years for Santa to give to other kids. They never stopped believing specifically they just took on more Santa type responsibilities themselves. Often using their charity night of hanukkah money to buy angel Christmas gifts for others. So my 19&20 year old jewish kids still ‘believe’ in ‘Santa’ as in being that generous person for others in this season & year round.
In the end I didn’t have to explain anything to them and I’m happy we did the angel trees even though that is the specific reason the figured it out. But it’s also the reason they were ok with it. And also the reason they never ‘spilled the beans’ to their peers
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Post by destined2bmom on Dec 17, 2017 16:26:56 GMT
I'm the mom of kids with low and high functioning Autism. Why tell them? Because it's one more thing for kids to tease them about; believing in Santa. I didn't even bother doing Santa with my youngest. He is not a fan of Christmas. I'm a mm of 2 sons on the spectrum. My 15 year old still says he believes. Every year I would try to tell him, but he wouldn't believe me. It wasn't until this year that I figured out what he meant. He believes in the ability for anyone to be a Sana, to buy presents and do good deeds. So to this day if you ask, he says he believes. That’s a great way to think about it! |
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Post by destined2bmom on Dec 17, 2017 16:51:42 GMT
I know that Jesus is the reason for the season and the other family mentioned in this post feels the same...
I know when my youngest was in third grade, he was in class with a boy who became his friend. His friend spilled the beans about Santa.
Evidently, from speaking to the mom, the friend’s older sister was in 5th grade and he was in kindergarten thought it was funny to tell him Santa was not real. Again he was 5. 😡 He cried for hours after hearing it and he has never had the joy, wonderment or magic of Christmas. But huge problem was that he told every kid in his kindergarten class. 😡 And kept reminding the kids every year.
My son believed until 5th grade, even with that friend hounding him with the truth. It’s hard for kids when others ruin it for them.
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Post by workingclassdog on Dec 17, 2017 18:37:53 GMT
I know that Jesus is the reason for the season and the other family mentioned in this post feels the same... I know when my youngest was in third grade, he was in class with a boy who became his friend. His friend spilled the beans about Santa. Evidently, from speaking to the mom, the friend’s older sister was in 5th grade and he was in kindergarten thought it was funny to tell him Santa was not real. Again he was 5. 😡 He cried for hours after hearing it and he has never had the joy, wonderment or magic of Christmas. But huge problem was that he told every kid in his kindergarten class. 😡 And kept reminding the kids every year. My son believed until 5th grade, even with that friend hounding him with the truth. It’s hard for kids when others ruin it for them. awww that is so sad.. at age 5....that does ruin the magic...  We only get so few years of it... We do talk about how Jesus is the most important thing and so forth but we also do Santa like most people do... She hasn't said anything this morning so I am just going to leave it at that.. and see what happens. She might think if she says something then there is no more Santa gifts. I do like the idea if it is brought up that it is the magic of Santa and giving to others... |
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by likescarrots on Dec 17, 2017 23:14:57 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I was in my 40's when my mom passed away. I do not think I ever told her I do not believe. Me too. My mom had a strict rule, if you don't "believe" you don't get presents. So of course at 38 I still believe.  |
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Dec 17, 2017 23:29:29 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I was in my 40's when my mom passed away. I do not think I ever told her I do not believe. I can't imagine our 13 year old believes anymore, but we've never discussed it. He's never said anything to us either way. He comes Christmas shopping with me for YDS and has never said anything. I think he likes the "magic" of the holiday and doesn't want to lose it. He is also a very caring boy and never wants to hurt anyone, sometimes I wonder if he doesn't tell us thinking he will hurt our feelings. I know I did that when I was little. I knew the truth for several years but was so afraid of upsetting my parents that I never said anything. I thought they liked playing santa and didn't want to disappoint them. |
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iowgirl
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Post by iowgirl on Dec 17, 2017 23:30:49 GMT
I was trying to figure out something to say and blubbered of course I believe in Santa... It does catch you off guard! I never pushed Santa, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy very hard with my kids. I let them believe as long as they wanted to, but I never lied and made up things about it. It was (luckily) never really traumatic when they caught on - but I never made a big deal out of it to start with. My daughter did ask, when she was about 4, why only Santa gave her a present, and not Mom & Dad - lol I always wonder when parents go way out of their way to make Santa real... so to speak, if they aren't just setting the kids up for a big let down. The Elf on the Shelf came about after my kids were past that stage, but honestly, the whole concept of that sounds so dishonest ... and creepy. |
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
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Post by sassyangel on Dec 17, 2017 23:36:40 GMT
I do not get all this talking to your kids about whether they believe. I'm the mom of kids with low and high functioning Autism. Why tell them? Because it's one more thing for kids to tease them about; believing in Santa. I didn't even bother doing Santa with my youngest. He is not a fan of Christmas. My sister had to tell my niece for the exact same reason. She's honestly the sweetest kid without a mean bone in her body, who believes the best about everyone, and she would have kept on believing for that reason. She was 11. Unfortunately, other kids are sometimes not so kind. So to spare her any of that, she told her. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Dec 18, 2017 0:03:52 GMT
I never made a big deal of Santa either and my daughter didn't believe past kindergarten. She also only got one present from Santa, the rest were from mom and dad. I wanted her to know where her gifts came from and we never, ever lied to her about anything so setting her up for disappointment about Santa just seemed mean to me. She didn't care when she figured it out because she knew all of the presents came from us and would continue. I also always hated that kids who got tons of gifts from Santa went back to school and made the other kids, who got less, feel bad. We always emphasized the spirit of Christmas.
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We only get so few years of it... 
