eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 5, 2014 23:35:53 GMT
I'm newish to this job. So far there are 4 of us who are fairly new. The only dude on our team has been there slightly longer than us. We have all sort of clicked and seem to get along well. One girl and I have really clicked and get along like long lost sisters.
We were walking to a meeting and the conversation between the girl and I were about our soda addictions and how Sept was our month to get healthy and ditch the soda. This girl is probably 5'6 and 200 lbs. I'm 6' and weighed 200lbs 18 months ago. I've been stalled at 180 for awhile. I'm never going to be a size 8, but I'd like my size 14 jeans to fit as if I never had children. We are both quite sarcastic. She said something like, "let's give up the soda after this meeting." I replied, "and pray they don't bring donuts."
Male coworker snaps at me, "Yes because being tall, thin and beautiful is so bad." The tone was not a joking one. And since the only term in my mind he had right was tall, it shocked me. I'm serious, I have horrible skin, my hair is never nice as it has a mind of its own. By very few terms do I meet the standard of beauty unless I'm wearing sunglasses and use an Instagram filter. But I could tell he was annoyed so I said, "what?" And he replied "nothing."
Im not annoyed if those are his thoughts other than his glasses need checked regardless of the unprofessional-ness of it. But the tone... I don't fish for compliments. I'm well loved for me. I just want to be healthy and comfortable (I.e. Knees, jeans, plantar fasciitis). I get I'm tall and I can hide my weight but his tone insinuated something and it just bugs me. So what was he insinuating and why did I get the brunt?
He he has not shown those colors before or since. He is very helpful if a bit chauvinistic. He is much older but came to our field later in life. He is funny and can be sarcastic but seems to go straight to cynical.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090 
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Post by scrapaddie on Sept 5, 2014 23:42:16 GMT
No clue on this one! It doesn't make sense...
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 5, 2014 23:47:30 GMT
Strange! I don't get it either.  |
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Post by laureljean on Sept 5, 2014 23:54:32 GMT
My take on it is that he was telling you that there is nothing wrong with how you look (to him). I think he might have interpreted it as you wanted to give up sweets as an effort to lose weight and look super modelish. It seems to me as if he didn't understand it was about health, but about appearance.
So I would have interpreted it as "You look great; why are you trying to get skinny?"
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,080
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Sept 5, 2014 23:57:28 GMT
Maybe he thinks you are fine the way you are. Maybe he spent his life listening to a thin mother whine about how fat she was. Maybe his ex wife did that. Who knows? A little strange at work, but I would just let it go. Odds are he was harmless. Maybe thought he was complimenting you. He probably does not remember it, but you are letting it bother you. Let it go.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 5, 2014 23:58:07 GMT
I'd just write it off as he was having a bad day. I'd let it go if you've liked him so far.
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 5, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
Huh. I would have taken his comment as a sarcastic joke. Are you sure you didn't misinterpret his tone? In any case, let this one roll off your back. He obviously has issues that have nothing to do with you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 10:28:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2014 0:12:44 GMT
I would try to believe what he , take it as a compliment and say thank you.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,749
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Sept 6, 2014 0:17:14 GMT
What is he like physically? Tall/short/slender/overweight? Maybe you hit his personal hot button if HE has body issues?
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 6, 2014 0:19:28 GMT
The tone was not complimentary. At all. While the thought may be and for that I can take the ego stroke, the tone was not. It was annoyance or judgement or perhaps both. It was just weird, and it did hurt my feelings. And why not as the same to the other girl who honestly is much, much, much prettier but has a little weight on her?
Good insight though. Thanks.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 6, 2014 0:21:11 GMT
What is he like physically? Tall/short/slender/overweight? Maybe you hit his personal hot button if HE has body issues? Short, belly, silver haired, average 55 year old guy with a beard. |
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,749
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Sept 6, 2014 0:23:42 GMT
What is he like physically? Tall/short/slender/overweight? Maybe you hit his personal hot button if HE has body issues? Short, belly, silver haired, average 55 year old guy with a beard. We may have a BINGO here. It's not just girls that have weight/body issues. He might wish he had your problems- so to speak. He wants to be tall/180.... |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 10:28:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2014 0:31:53 GMT
My take on it is that he was telling you that there is nothing wrong with how you look (to him). I think he might have interpreted it as you wanted to give up sweets as an effort to lose weight and look super modelish. It seems to me as if he didn't understand it was about health, but about appearance. So I would have interpreted it as "You look great; why are you trying to get skinny?" Yep. That. |
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Post by Belia on Sept 6, 2014 0:35:09 GMT
Maybe you and your coworker(s) talk about weight / food / diets / appearance more than you think you do and he's tired of hearing about it. And that comment is what came out.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 6, 2014 0:54:32 GMT
Maybe you and your coworker(s) talk about weight / food / diets / appearance more than you think you do and he's tired of hearing about it. And that comment is what came out. No, this was the first conversation as such in front of him. But, it could be he hears those comments elsewhere and we just rubbed him raw. |
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Post by cannmom on Sept 6, 2014 1:46:50 GMT
Men!!! Phhhtttt!! Who knows what they are thinking??!!  |
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Post by Really Red on Sept 6, 2014 3:07:47 GMT
Maybe you misread his tone? And I'm not saying that's not how he said it, but he may have meant it as joking and it didn't come out that way.
I'd totally ignore it unless it was a pattern
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Post by turangaleela on Sept 6, 2014 14:10:23 GMT
Yes, odd, but I agree with the others to just let it go (hard, I know, with that tone of his). Who knows what's going on in his head?
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Post by delilahtwo on Sept 6, 2014 15:05:11 GMT
I'm newish to this job. So far there are 4 of us who are fairly new. The only dude on our team has been there slightly longer than us. We have all sort of clicked and seem to get along well. One girl and I have really clicked and get along like long lost sisters. We were walking to a meeting and the conversation between the girl and I were about our soda addictions and how Sept was our month to get healthy and ditch the soda. This girl is probably 5'6 and 200 lbs. I'm 6' and weighed 200lbs 18 months ago. I've been stalled at 180 for awhile. I'm never going to be a size 8, but I'd like my size 14 jeans to fit as if I never had children. We are both quite sarcastic. She said something like, "let's give up the soda after this meeting." I replied, "and pray they don't bring donuts."
Male coworker snaps at me, "Yes because being tall, thin and beautiful is so bad." The tone was not a joking one. And since the only term in my mind he had right was tall, it shocked me. I'm serious, I have horrible skin, my hair is never nice as it has a mind of its own. By very few terms do I meet the standard of beauty unless I'm wearing sunglasses and use an Instagram filter. But I could tell he was annoyed so I said, "what?" And he replied "nothing." Im not annoyed if those are his thoughts other than his glasses need checked regardless of the unprofessional-ness of it. But the tone... I don't fish for compliments. I'm well loved for me. I just want to be healthy and comfortable (I.e. Knees, jeans, plantar fasciitis). I get I'm tall and I can hide my weight but his tone insinuated something and it just bugs me. So what was he insinuating and why did I get the brunt? He he has not shown those colors before or since. He is very helpful if a bit chauvinistic. He is much older but came to our field later in life. He is funny and can be sarcastic but seems to go straight to cynical. So here's how i take it. You may think 180 pounds is a lot but on a 6 foot tall woman, you are probably very close to a great weight. Your coworker who weighs only 20 pounds more but 6 inches shorter is obese at that weight. You are slim. You may not think you are, you could probably lose 10-15 pounds but nobody would ever think you have to lose weight. Maybe be he had a bad day and he's tired of slim people complaining about their weight. Let it go. |
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Sept 6, 2014 15:37:37 GMT
Men!!! Phhhtttt!! Who knows what they are thinking??!!  |
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