S/O Executor - Purchasing your "property" or final arrange

Yes, it is quite expensive.

When we buried our daughter 13 years ago we purchased plots on both sides of her. There was some sticker shock, thats for sure, but we wanted to guarantee we were on both sides of her so we went ahead.

My mom passed away 6 months ago and her funeral/burial was around $11,000. She already had the plot. My dad passed away three years ago and was cremated. Mom insisted that his urn be put in her casket and they be buried together so that's what we did. Dad and mom were penny pinchers even after they died!

When I was growing up both sets of my grandparents died one by one and they were buried next to each other. I grew up thinking that all families bought plots right next to each other! It wasn't until I was a young adult that I realized my grandparents were the exception not the rule! Duh. When my dad's parents went to buy plots they asked my mom's parents if they would like to get plots too, right next to each other. They all agreed and bought a total of 12 plots. They got a discount because they bought so many next to each other. All of my grandparents were death penny pinchers too!

We buried my MIL last month and all in, my FIL spent $31,000 for a pretty standard funeral (plot, coffin, service, transportation, headstone, police escorts, etc). He did purchase his plot as well as hers, so that definitely added to the cost. I was pretty surprised at the high cost of the whole thing.

jenjie my heart is breaking that your 19 yr old is still praying for that.

We are still in the debating stage of where we will be buried. We have 2 plots on either side of my in laws in Atlanta. Of course, they decided to be buried in the middle plots, so if we choose there then we won’t be beside each other.

We also have the option of being buried in some plots my Mom has for the family. This is what I would like.

Then there is the option of something here in SC. I don’t want this, but SC is where my dh and sons are located. Once we get the location decided, I want to make some more definite plans and will then know further costs.

Our plot and headstone would be free, my DH is a veteran. We are thinking about being cremated and having our ashes mixed together. Really, it’s kind of up to what the kids want...it’s for them anyway.

My parents are buried in a veteran cemetery, also. At the veteran’s cemetery they bury a couple one on top of the other. My mom passed away first and absolutely did not want to be cremated, my dad passed away 5 years ago, 800 miles from where my mom was buried. I decided to have him cremated and sent to the cemetery to be buried with her. There was no family left except me and my family and all of his friends were gone, so there was no service.

😧. I had NO idea funerals/burials were that expensive! Seriously, no clue.

I just informed my husband that he is absolutely not to do that, and def not to spend anywhere near that amount of money upon my death. And that if he does, I’m coming back to haunt him.

I read this, and thought "That's so expensive!"


Then I read this, and fainted:


$31,000?!?! That is so ridiculously expensive, I am beyond shocked. 

My dad has pre-paid for his funeral. My mum (they're divorced) wants to but she can't afford it. I definitely want to be able to pre-pay my funeral, or at least put money aside for it so my kids aren't burdened with the financial side of it. I have no idea how much a "standard" funeral and cremation costs. I'm betting I can get it for a LOT less than $31,000 though. 

I would like to pre-pay for the most bare bones cremation ever, just so my family doesn't feel obligated to spend a bunch of money on it. I know they say funerals are for the living, but I feel that some people end up over spending just due to society's pressure, not because they need the luncheon/visitation/upgraded coffin, etc to feel closure or to celebrate their loved one.

My dh is a vet so we will be cremated and put in a memorial wall at the local Veteran’s cemetery.

My Dad’s parents are cremated and were placed in the memorial wall together at Fort Rosecrans in San Diego. (My Grandfather was a Veteran too). It’s beautiful there. They no longer have burials as there is no room left, only wall space.

My definition of a 'standard funeral' would certainly not include police escorts for a start...

I'm so very sorry that your daughter died.  (((HUGS)))  I'm glad you were able to take this step if it gives you comfort, and it sounds like it does.

i never realized what a HUGE business funerals are.  i just helped my friend with the funeral arrangements for her dad.  he was buried last friday.  talk about sticker shock for the funeral arrangements! they kept everything to a minimum and very simple but it still added up to over 5 figures.   the cemetary and funeral home definitely nickles and dimes you for everything. this was at a pretty large cemetary so i don't know if that makes a difference.   thank goodness her parents prepaid for the plot ten years ago because i couldn't imagine how much it would have cost today.  having seen how much her dad's funeral cost, my friend wants her mom to prepay for her funeral now to lock in the price of the same services she will have as the dad did. 

seriously, how do people afford full burial services? especially if it was an unexpected death and money wasn't readily available? now i know why people have Go Fund Me pages for funerals.

When my parents died it was $24K for the funeral. That was with them already owning the plots, no embalming (before this I didn't know that was even legal), no limo or police escort and very simple caskets with no lining or fancy mattress (closed casket service) That didn't include the headstone, about another $3K.

Where we spent extra money was on having the visitation at the funeral home, and having both a chapel and a graveside service.

This last vent belongs in an in-law thread, but.. When I got to the funeral home, I found that my SIL had filled out the death certificates with wrong info. They were already filed in the county at that point so they are just flat wrong which pisses me off still. Correcting them would require the executor (me) to travel to the county where they died and changing it. But she got to be the big shot person and fill them out.

She had also picked out their caskets. Let me say that again. My SIL had the balls to pick out my parents caskets. The absolute top of the line most expensive ones of course. I said "well I hope you brought your checkbook because I'm not paying for that. ". She just batted her stupid cow eyes at me and said "we don't have that kind of money. We thought you would pay for it". She's lucky we didn't need a third one. I vetoed her selection and picked out something tasteful and appropriate.

Funerals are insanely expensive. They get you at a time when you are exhausted and emotional and not thinking clearly.

That's interesting. We don't have that here. I've been to plenty of funerals where the service is at one location and the cemetery at another. Here the cars all just drive very slowly behind the hearse with their headlights on.