Meeting family in your 30's

Go with a big smile, a love for newfound family and have a great time!

I hope they are wonderful. I'm sorry for the estrangement until now.

I wish you could realize how young 30's is. Heck, there isn't ANY age that we need to think that life is set and we can't open the door to exciting new (and sometimes scary!) paths.

I hope you'll go ahead and meet your family - keep us posted!

My Mom has never had anything good to say about my Father's side of my family. When I was 20ish, I re-connected with my Grandparents, and my Father, and met his (then) family. I have a half-brother. I am so glad that I had the chance to get back in contact with my Grandparents before they passed. I am very sad though that because my Mom kept us away and because of how my Father is (he really is the black sheep of the family), I don't have a relationship with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Most of us live in the same (small) town.

I think you should go into this with a smile on your face and an open mind that it could be a positive experience or maybe something that you are not quite ready for. And I agree that you should never be so closed minded by saying your life is pretty set. Your life could be fuller possibly by this meeting.

I know this is a little different, but I had the wife of my husband's friend say, "I don't have room for any more friends in my life". That made me feel like crap at the time and I also felt sorry for her. Now 20 years later guy who we go to dinner with 4 times a year?

There is so much truth in this statement. Go into it with open eyes an open mind and an open heart.

I'm sorry that you've lost so much time with them. Hopefully this will be a wonderful beginning.

I met my birthmom when I was 19 years old (closed adoption but we found each other through an adoption organization).

We have had a very good relationship for the past 30 years but I hadn't met any of my extended family until 3 years ago. I was very nervous but they were super welcoming. It was almost surreal to sit at the same table as people that I shared DNA with. I looked like my cousins which still freaks me out.

In a very crazy turn of events, I have a new cousin that found us through Ancestry. My Uncle is her father (her mom never told her who the father was). She is now slowly meeting all of us and it's been neat to help her navigate this.

I wish you all the best as you meet your family. I would go in with no expectations and just take it as it comes. Keep us posted on how it's going.

My father came to the US when he was 7.
In 1992 my siblings and I went to Europe and found cousins there. It was exciting.
She told us before meeting that she only had 1 afternoon to spend with us. It all went well and
she spent the next day with us and invited us to her home. I respect her caution.
Through that cousin, we connected with a Canadian cousin and I have made a great friendship with her.

So, it can go well.

I have personal experience with this that I've partially shared here prior...I was adopted on my paternal side. Prior to my high school graduation my parents thought it would important for me to meet my biological father. I knew that I had two older sisters from him, but I only met him (this was circa 1990). It was a good meeting, I enjoyed getting to know him and hearing his story (he was never portrayed poorly to me...just a drinker with different priorities when I was born). I had very limited contact with him for the next 5 years or so and then it dropped off completely. Not because it was uncomfortable, it was just that I already had a "Dad"...I guess I never felt like anything was missing (if that makes sense). By the time I met him he was sober and a really great guy, he just wasn't my dad.

Fast forward to 2012...I was traveling on business and my Mom called me to say that my biological father reached out to her for my contact information as he and his wife were updating their wills (she had recently been diagnosed with cancer). During their conversation he confided to my Mom that he also had a son that was conceived and born while they were married (my Mom and biological dad). She had long suspected this, but never had confirmation.

He never reached out to me as his wife's health declined quickly and I let my Mom know that I was totally fine with contact, but I expected nothing from the will perspective....he had my two older sisters that knew him as Dad and he should be taking care of them...he owed me nothing. Fast forward to March of 2016, my Mom calls yet again to say that my oldest sister was looking for me as our biological father had passed. I had just been home to Louisville 2 weeks prior, but had no idea he was even ill.

I reached out to my sister on FB and we were able to meet in person in July of 2016...I met my other sister in December of 2016 and will meet my brother in 3 weeks.

My advice is just be open, positive and have no expectations. My oldest sister and I are very close now, my middle sister has gone through some tough things and while I love her, we just don't relate like my oldest sister and I do. Overall it's been wonderful, new relationships made, some stronger than others, but my life is surely richer with them a part of it. I'm also really enjoying the "baby" status...I'm the youngest of the 4 of us and have been the oldest child my whole life (I have a younger brother with my mom and "Dad").

Let us know how it goes and feel free to reach out anytime! There is no right or wrong way...just be open and yourself!

Go for it. About 3 years ago aged 52 I met some 2nd cousins for the first time. Only found out about their existence after I started genealogy research. My Mum knew nothing about them either (her father never revealed his parents had divorced and both had married again). They're great people and we actually have a lot in common and get on well.

Now I'd love to find some living relatives on my Dad's side of the family.

Three years ago, I reconnected with my Dad and his family. My parents divorced when I was 6 months old and never had contact with my Dad after that. Three years ago, my DD contacted him. We eventually talked. We get along great now and are very close but his other children don't want me involved at all, especially my half sister. She's extremely jealous of me, which is very crazy.. Best of luck to you!