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Post by slowjoe on Jul 18, 2018 15:34:40 GMT
We're more or less a single-income family, with my wife Evi bearing more than 50% of the child care since I'm working a lot of hours. She's a wonderful mother, but I'm starting to get the look. You know the one I'm talking about. Like, if I come home late one more time I might get stabbed. I'm kidding, but I really am worried about her burning out. I try to do most of the child care on weekends, but after working 50-60 hour weeks, I'm burning out. Of course, we both know we signed up for this when we decided to start a family. And we'll be fine. But we're thinking we need a vacation. Nothing crazy, which is why we like the idea of a cruise. They basically do all the thinking for you! We've come up with three options: - Taking a cruise with the baby.
- Taking a cruise without the baby, having my sister come down and babysit for five days.
- Not cruising at all, perhaps doing something more baby-friendly
I'm scared to death of the nasty viruses that seem to plague cruises. I caught one once and wanted to die. I definitely don't want my baby to catch one. I'm also scared about leaving our baby behind for five days. I'm not sure how wife and baby both will handle it. Though Evi seems to be leaning towards leaving Sasha with my sister.
What are your thoughts? Experiences?
Thanks!
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 14:09:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2018 15:38:08 GMT
We took care of our grandchildren when my daughter and her husband went on a cruise. Also when my son and his wife went on a cruise. They took the two older kids and left the two younger ones with us!! We had such a good time with them!!
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 14:09:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2018 15:38:38 GMT
good luck!! Hope you have a wonderful time whatever you decide to do.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 18, 2018 15:39:16 GMT
My good friend did it with a 10 month old and a 3 year old. They did a Disney cruise, but most cruise lines are pretty family friendly. You can take advantage of the onboard day care when needed, too.
I wouldn't be afraid to do it at all. I've been on plenty of cruises and never gotten ill. You can get food poisoning from a restaurant. Use hand sanitizer (and honestly I do bleach wipe the room as soon as I get into it just in case), don't touch your mouth too much, but I wouldn't be super freaked out by it.
Self-care is important! Do this for yourselves, whether with Sasha or without!
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 18, 2018 15:40:29 GMT
Also, your sister is highly competent. I know that separation is probably scary, but if you and Evi need time alone to literally relax and sleep, you should do it!!!
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 18, 2018 15:41:07 GMT
Go on the cruise with your sweet wife alone... The baby will be FINE... you will love it... trust me.. my dh and I didn't travel that much when our kids were little... but the few times we did it was like a wonderful restart... GO FOR IT and don't feel guilty!
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Post by slowjoe on Jul 18, 2018 15:48:43 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Also, Sasha is seemingly learning something new every day. If Evi says, "where's your Mischka?" she crawls over to her teddy bear. She can't say anything other than "mamamama" yet but she's understanding words!
What if we leave for five days, come back and she's already composing hypotheses on Quantum Theory? I wouldn't be able to live with myself for missing that.
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 18, 2018 15:58:55 GMT
I would be more comfortable leaving my 11 month old with a trusted family member vs taking on a cruise. Baby can stay home in her regular environment, and stick to her normal schedule (if she has one yet). She has all the familiarities of her stuff-lovies, room decor, books, etc.
I haven’t been on a cruise yet, but my understanding is those rooms are tiny. Not sure I would want to live in cramped quarters with a baby and all the baby’s stuff for 5 days at sea. I would also be paranoid that the baby would fall overboard. Probably not likely to happen, but it would stress me out the entire time. Are there baby friendly excursions at your port stops? If there’s not, will you and your wife be content to just hang out on the beaches or stay on the ship? I might be a little annoyed that I couldn’t fully enjoy our cruise to so awesome places by doing some interesting excursions because we brought the baby along. What about the thickness of he walls? Will your baby’s crying be heard through the cabin walls? I can imagine other guests getting upset by the sound.
For me, if my husband sprung a surprise cruise on me to help me relax and to avoid total burnout from the kids (which I would adore), but then said that our kids were coming, I would be miffed. Because while going on the cruise would be great, I wouldn’t actually be getting a break from parenting. It would just be doing it in a different location, with a lot more stress and worry (for me). If this cruise was presented as a family vacation, ok cool, let’s bring the kids. But the expectations are different, and that matters, if hat makes sense.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 18, 2018 16:01:45 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Also, Sasha is seemingly learning something new every day. If Evi says, "where's your Mischka?" she crawls over to her teddy bear. She can't say anything other than "mamamama" yet but she's understanding words! What if we leave for five days, come back and she's already composing hypotheses on Quantum Theory? I wouldn't be able to live with myself for missing that. oh yeah are you one of those millennial parents?  Just tell her not to talk, walk or jog while you are gone.. .... |
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Post by christine58 on Jul 18, 2018 16:03:01 GMT
What if we leave for five days, come back and she's already composing hypotheses on Quantum Theory? I wouldn't be able to live with myself for missing that. You could miss stuff like that while working... Go without your child...and also find a better balance for all of you. |
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Post by christine58 on Jul 18, 2018 16:03:55 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Facetime |
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Post by slowjoe on Jul 18, 2018 16:05:31 GMT
I would be more comfortable leaving my 11 month old with a trusted family member vs taking on a cruise. Baby can stay home in her regular environment, and stick to her normal schedule (if she has one yet). She has all the familiarities of her stuff-lovies, room decor, books, etc. I haven’t been on a cruise yet, but my understanding is those rooms are tiny. Not sure I would want to live in cramped quarters with a baby and all the baby’s stuff for 5 days at sea. I would also be paranoid that the baby would fall overboard. Probably not likely to happen, but it would stress me out the entire time. Are there baby friendly excursions at your port stops? If there’s not, will you and your wife be content to just hang out on the beaches or stay on the ship? I might be a little annoyed that I couldn’t fully enjoy our cruise to so awesome places by doing some interesting excursions because we brought the baby along. What about the thickness of he walls? Will your baby’s crying be heard through the cabin walls? I can imagine other guests getting upset by the sound. For me, if my husband sprung a surprise cruise on me to help me relax and to avoid total burnout from the kids (which I would adore), but then said that our kids were coming, I would be miffed. Because while going on the cruise would be great, I wouldn’t actually be getting a break from parenting. It would just be doing it in a different location, with a lot more stress and worry (for me). If this cruise was presented as a family vacation, ok cool, let’s bring the kids. But the expectations are different, and that matters, if hat makes sense. That is an outstanding post. I think you just settled one thing: If we do cruise, it will be without baby. Now, can Evi and I handle being without baby? |
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 18, 2018 16:07:32 GMT
Go on the cruise with your sweet wife alone... The baby will be FINE... you will love it... trust me.. my dh and I didn't travel that much when our kids were little... but the few times we did it was like a wonderful restart... GO FOR IT and don't feel guilty! YES!!! |
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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 18, 2018 16:08:37 GMT
Is your wife still nursing? At 11 months, 5 days without a nursing baby will likely wreak havic in her milk supply.
Otherwise, as hard as it is, if you can leave the baby home with a trusted caregiver, that will give be you both time to recharge and enjoy each other’s company. We hauled our kids all over the world (literally!), but travel with them is never relaxing or a break.
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Post by katelynr439 on Jul 18, 2018 16:10:22 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Also, Sasha is seemingly learning something new every day. If Evi says, "where's your Mischka?" she crawls over to her teddy bear. She can't say anything other than "mamamama" yet but she's understanding words! What if we leave for five days, come back and she's already composing hypotheses on Quantum Theory? I wouldn't be able to live with myself for missing that. oh yeah are you one of those millennial parents? Just tell her not to talk, walk or jog while you are gone.. .... This dude is just barely younger than a baby boomer! Joe, go on the cruise, without the baby. Baby will be fine. You'll get GOOD nights of sleep, which you won't get if you have baby with you. You will miss her like crazy, love all over her when you get back, and feel rejuvenated. |
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Post by katelynr439 on Jul 18, 2018 16:11:36 GMT
Or if you can swing it price-wise, go to an adults-only all-inclusive. Then you don't even have to *see* other kids on the cruise and won't be saying to each other "Ohhhh, we should have brought the baby! Look! They look like they're having fun as a family!"
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 18, 2018 16:14:16 GMT
Has the baby stayed with a babysitter before? How long? Has the baby stayed with or had a lot of contact with your sister? Is she comfortable around her?
I would recommend having your sister come in a day early, and spend as much time interacting with the baby with you and your wife nearby as possible before you leave. This way your sister gets paired with you, and she will see your sister as a caretaker who can be trusted, as I’m sure you will be happy and smiling when your sister is around, and the baby will notice this. This will also make separation easier when you two leave for your cruise.
The first time we left our oldest two for an extended period of time, it was a little rough for me after the first 12 hours of being apart. We left them with my mom and brother in our home, while we took off for a conference in FL. The kids had a BLAST with my mom and brother though. They didn’t really miss us. (They were 1.5 and about 7 months old). We would call and try and Skype but they weren’t interested in talking to us. 😂. I would miss them more in the evening, when we had down time from conferencing. I didn’t notice missing them during the day, while sitting in symposia or off with our friends.
I think as long as you stay busy, you’ll be able to manage your feelings of missing your baby just fine.
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Post by slowjoe on Jul 18, 2018 16:14:50 GMT
oh yeah are you one of those millennial parents? Just tell her not to talk, walk or jog while you are gone.. .... This dude is just barely younger than a baby boomer! Joe, go on the cruise, without the baby. Baby will be fine. You'll get GOOD nights of sleep, which you won't get if you have baby with you. You will miss her like crazy, love all over her when you get back, and feel rejuvenated. Haha! DON'T AGE ME! My wife is at the top end of the millennial age group, whereas I'm smack dab in the middle of the Gen X one. My dad is a boomer! Thanks for the advice. I think that's the direction we'll go. |
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Post by slowjoe on Jul 18, 2018 16:19:26 GMT
Has the baby stayed with a babysitter before? How long? Has the baby stayed with or had a lot of contact with your sister? Is she comfortable around her? I would recommend having your sister come in a day early, and spend as much time interacting with the baby with you and your wife nearby as possible before you leave. This way your sister gets paired with you, and she will see your sister as a caretaker who can be trusted, as I’m sure you will be happy and smiling when your sister is around, and the baby will notice this. This will also make separation easier when you two leave for your cruise. The first time we left our oldest two for an extended period of time, it was a little rough for me after the first 12 hours of being apart. We left them with my mom and brother in our home, while we took off for a conference in FL. The kids had a BLAST with my mom and brother though. They didn’t really miss us. (They were 1.5 and about 7 months old). We would call and try and Skype but they weren’t interested in talking to us. 😂. I would miss them more in the evening, when we had down time from conferencing. I didn’t notice missing them during the day, while sitting in symposia or off with our friends. I think as long as you stay busy, you’ll be able to manage your feelings of missing your baby just fine. Another excellent post. Unfortunately, my sister lives in Ohio and will only be able to stay down here roughly a week, and the cruise will be five days. So there won't be much time for my sis to imprint on Sasha. She did mention that we should probably Skype as much as possible between now and then. She came down and helped tremendously when Sasha was only a few weeks old, but there's no way the baby remembers her. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 18, 2018 16:23:54 GMT
HAHAHA.. I just had to throw that in... you know what is best at the end... but for 'me' personally... a vacation alone with your spouse is so important!!! Good luck!! I wish I was in FL to help babysit!!! We could call in Shannon.... HAHAHA
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 18, 2018 16:28:06 GMT
Yes! Start Skyping or Face-timing now as much as possible with her. The baby will love it, as adults make completely ridiculous faces when Skyping with babies! They laugh and laugh, and when your sister talks, the baby will get used to hearing her voice. She might not remember your sisters name or what she looks like, but she will recognize the voice when she sees her in person. You could have your sister record a video of her reading your baby’s favorite book or two, and you could play them for her often.
My parents live far away and only get to see our kids once or twice a year. But we have always Skyped and face-timed with them since our oldest was a newborn. It has helped tremendously with our kids getting to know and be comfortable around their grandparents. They were never afraid or overly shy when my parents would come to town to see them (like they often are with new people or other family members we don’t see often).
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 14:09:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2018 16:28:06 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Facetime I wouldn't suggest facetime. We were taking care of the 2 year old recently while mom and dad and other siblings were away for just a weekend-. Everything was going really well, he was having a wonderful time until they facetimed. Then he became a real sorrowfull child for several hours!! I had to put him down for a nap. When he got up, he was better, but whinny. So from now on, when they go--they go--they can call and talk to me or my my husband, but no contact with little one until they get back!! (they totally understand this by the way!!) My son said he thought facetime would do that to him!! He adores being here, so that wasn't it at all--it just reminded him that everybody was having a good time without him!! |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 18, 2018 16:31:25 GMT
We went to the Carribean when our youngest was about 15 months old. It was awesome. There wasn't facetime or anything back then, but we called a couple of times and we knew he was in good hands.
I would much rather leave my child at home at that age than take him on a cruise. Taking your daughter doesn't give you or your wife the rest you are craving, it just changes where you are taking care of the baby.
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Post by snugglebutter on Jul 18, 2018 16:32:34 GMT
Just to throw another option out there...... What about leaving the baby with your sister but driving to a more local destination that gives you the option of returning early? You might be able to relax more if you aren't stuck on a ship and know that you have an "out" if you can't stand it.
Have fun!
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 18, 2018 16:34:37 GMT
I guess I should clarify something: Sasha will almost undoubtedly be fine if we leave her behind. Our worries are probably more selfish. I'm concerned that Evi may freak after 48 hours of no contact with our baby. Also, Sasha is seemingly learning something new every day. If Evi says, "where's your Mischka?" she crawls over to her teddy bear. She can't say anything other than "mamamama" yet but she's understanding words! What if we leave for five days, come back and she's already composing hypotheses on Quantum Theory? I wouldn't be able to live with myself for missing that. oh yeah are you one of those millennial parents? Just tell her not to talk, walk or jog while you are gone.. .... Or have your sister video everything. My kids did go to daycare while we both taught and my daycare lady never told us if our kid did anything milestone with her. She always let us think it happened first with us. I did find out from the older brother that the really chubby 15 month old took his first steps on the first day back to daycare after an entire summer break of pretending to be Jabba the Hutt. We didn't have anyone to babysit our kids, so we didn't go on a vacation for 7 years where our kids didn't go, and to be honest, going to visit family is NOT a vacation. Our rule was no one was getting on a plane until they could be responsible for their own luggage. At five and seven, my kids experienced a full week of Vegas. (look mom, girls can be sumo wrestlers too - after seeing his first Vegas showgirl thong). Either way, it will be great. Take her, don't take her. Since you won't know what would happen with the other choice, the one you choose will be perfect. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 18, 2018 16:37:39 GMT
I wouldn't suggest facetime. We were taking care of the 2 year old recently while mom and dad and other siblings were away for just a weekend-. Everything was going really well, he was having a wonderful time until they facetimed. Then he became a real sorrowfull child for several hours!! I had to put him down for a nap. When he got up, he was better, but whinny. So from now on, when they go--they go--they can call and talk to me or my my husband, but no contact with little one until they get back!! (they totally understand this by the way!!) My son said he thought facetime would do that to him!! He adores being here, so that wasn't it at all--it just reminded him that everybody was having a good time without him!!  when my kids were with their grandparents (they were little).. I knew I could talk to them for about 3 minutes before they would start missing us.. If I cut the call off quick, they were just fine... tears started when they realize they were away from home. That happened ONCE... after that, the less calls the better.. and that was before Facetime... I think Facetime would just make it even worse. |
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Post by jenjie on Jul 18, 2018 16:43:32 GMT
Has the baby stayed with a babysitter before? How long? Has the baby stayed with or had a lot of contact with your sister? Is she comfortable around her? I would recommend having your sister come in a day early, and spend as much time interacting with the baby with you and your wife nearby as possible before you leave. This way your sister gets paired with you, and she will see your sister as a caretaker who can be trusted, as I’m sure you will be happy and smiling when your sister is around, and the baby will notice this. This will also make separation easier when you two leave for your cruise. The first time we left our oldest two for an extended period of time, it was a little rough for me after the first 12 hours of being apart. We left them with my mom and brother in our home, while we took off for a conference in FL. The kids had a BLAST with my mom and brother though. They didn’t really miss us. (They were 1.5 and about 7 months old). We would call and try and Skype but they weren’t interested in talking to us. 😂. I would miss them more in the evening, when we had down time from conferencing. I didn’t notice missing them during the day, while sitting in symposia or off with our friends. I think as long as you stay busy, you’ll be able to manage your feelings of missing your baby just fine. Another excellent post. Unfortunately, my sister lives in Ohio and will only be able to stay down here roughly a week, and the cruise will be five days. So there won't be much time for my sis to imprint on Sasha. She did mention that we should probably Skype as much as possible between now and then. She came down and helped tremendously when Sasha was only a few weeks old, but there's no way the baby remembers her. Definitely start Skyping so she feels like she “knows” her. Have a great time as husband and wife. I think it’s great that you’re being thoughtful of Evi’s needs and wants. |
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,372
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Jul 18, 2018 16:46:04 GMT
I think you should go on the cruise and leave the baby with your sister. She will be fine and you and your wife will enjoy some together time. Just don't make a little sibling for Sasha while you're on the cruise!  |
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,920 
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Post by pilcas on Jul 18, 2018 16:58:38 GMT
If your sister is willing to take care of the baby go for it. It will do both of you good to have some stress free time to just relax and reconnect with eachother.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Jul 18, 2018 17:04:48 GMT
Take it from someone who hasn't been able to have a date night with my husband in 9 years (no one to watch the kids).....go by yourselves. You will both be in need of a break by then and it would really mean some great quality time together. When the baby gets older there will be plenty of family fun vacations you will take. I would give anything to go away with my husband for a few days!
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when my kids were with their grandparents (they were little).. I knew I could talk to them for about 3 minutes before they would start missing us.. If I cut the call off quick, they were just fine... tears started when they realize they were away from home. That happened ONCE... after that, the less calls the better.. and that was before Facetime... I think Facetime would just make it even worse.
